Hathor5:


Sorry, not possible.

reasons

Mariangeles:


Thank you.

I don't know why people type things on nairaland they wouldn't do in reality.

I asked some guys here if they can dare go to an in-law empty handed, one said he would, the other was just going round in circle.

For me, I can't even dare to do that.

What is wrong with u,there arent in laws yet( no dowry have been paid), they are just boyfriend and girlfriend

shantti:



Can u imagine how you paint someone evil, because a boyfriend did not buy a gift for his girlfriends mum on one of his visits( he bought gift for the mum on his first visit) he is now a potential bad father, bad husband and bad in law, i know u must be a woman,
Let me ask u a question, the guy you are dating, assuming he stays with his mum, will u be buying her gifts per visitation keeping in mind that u will be visiting like thrice per week. I know the answer in no, so does that now means you are insensitive, irresponsible and bad. Judging someone personality using ordinary gift as a yardstick,I spit in disgust at your reasoning, u need therapy, counselling, deliverance(six, become one wont be enough), rehabilitation,sermon, preaching, exercise( to improve brain function), early morning sun, fruits, vegetables( to improve brain function), milk, surgery, brain transplant, head transplant, yoga, sex, strolling, love and care, education, career, talent, passion, wisdom, exorcism, water, discipline, incantation and chloroquine injection

This thread really got you going.



ROFL

UnBanEbenezer:
reasons

Reason why?

DrayZee:


I don’t think you can do it yourself. Mail a mod to help you delete it.

Even the mods are angry with her, shes lucky am not a mod, she for chop fifteen years ban for being so immature

shantti:


Aunty there is nothing like intending inlaws, there are not in laws yet till he pays her dowry, this is just ordinary boyfriend girlfriend relationship, that i want to become an engineer doesnt make me one, that i want to become a medical doctor doesnt make me one till i go to medical school and graduate.
Being a fiance doesnt make the girls family an in law, a fiancee is still just her boyfriend. A typical lady wondnt even marry her first, second or third fiance as things might not work out, it might be the fourth one that she will be married to. Now the first, second and third fiances, are they in laws to the girls parents?

Hey don't tag me if u ain't igbo. Why d heck will u go visit a fiancée parent if u ain't ready to marry? Cheap things. Better no get sense

philip0906:

Do you also know it is culture for a man to be a patriarch and be polygamous?

You adopted the white man religion and way of life of monogamy. So how's that my problem

Bennysam:

Every time?

When growing, every day my parents buy things for us when coming back from work. Every fvcking day. Like I said it could b fruits.


Will it be proper if he visits and no one offers him anything? It's simply courtesy.

If you don't buy, you shouldn't bother to eat there... Abi na longthroat?

Trayceey:
thanks. You're right. It's festive season and that's the more reason it became a problem.

Liar, u just added this festive season tag for your own convenience, that man isnt your mum inlaw yet cause your dowry hasnt been paid even if he declared his intention of marrying you to you, so what am trying to understand is that by convention, all the boys you dated always had to bring gifts to ur mum whem they visit, what does this say of her

Trayceey:
I'm not defending my mum. You know these mothers always have a hold on us

Kitikpa racha gi anya there...
Let your mom keep having a hold on you..
See this baby...
God please don't let this kind of girl come my way...
Taataa

Shame to you and your mum
Are you guys that hungry to be expecting money or gifts
He only paid a courtesy visit which should be appreciated
That your mum will spoil your marriage.
Both of you have bad manners

shantti:


What is wrong with u,there arent in laws yet( no dowry have been paid), they are just boyfriend and girlfriend

So he went to their house to eat? He can't buy anything but can shamelessly eat their food huh

BRATISLAVA:


Context is important.

Most people who think they aren't traditional online are the ones who lick the in-laws feet in reality.

Most, if not all, Nigerians follow the traditional way when getting married, and there are certain expectations that accompany it, so acting like it doesn't exist doesn't fly. One of the marriage traditions is the giving of gifts. If such tradition did not exist, why did the mother still serve him anything? By admissions above, she's not to.

Even when people visit their regular friends, they always go with a gift, so what's the big deal in this case?

So he brought a gift before means he mustnever give one again? Why does he want to traditionally see her parents but doesn't want to be traditional the rest of the way?

what drink did she gave the man that she tag only her drink? I bet you it's a bottle of malt or beer. that man might not even needed it but out of courtesy he accepted it. so the drink should na be something great that he offered him? the man would not have complained even if she didn't offer him anything.

shantti:


Liar, u just added this festive season tag for your own convenience, that man isnt your mum inlaw yet cause your dowry hasnt been paid even if he declared his intention of marrying you to you, so what am trying to understand is that by convention, all the boys you dated always had to bring gifts to ur mum whem they visit, what does this say of her

she is a P.I.m.P running Play boys mansion..lol

Lashist:

You still dont get it ..e be like you are part of those naija girls that are slow and empty upstairs ..carrying gifts no be by force...i can choose to do it or not but I'll be irritated when you say i must do that or when you get angry i didnt bring bread...i read where u said carrying gifts to parent will make them know if he is stingy or caring. So by ur own standards, if he visits 20times and doesnt give una bread just once, he becomes stingy. Its poverty that is the problem here and not courtesy

Why visit 20 times and not bring bread even once? Who does that?

egbej:
Shame to you and your mum
Are you guys that hungry to be expecting money or gifts
He only paid a courtesy visit which should be appreciated
That your mum will spoil your marriage.
Both of you have bad manners

And ate untop. The guy for no finish their food when he didn't bring even ordinary oranges! How much is orange

Ingredient88:
.... very very wrong, your guy shouldn't have done that! how on Earth will you go to your in-laws house empty-handed? a normal Yoruba man/person we never do that! you don't go to your in-laws house empty-handed, it is good that your mum's complain about it, it shouldn't be, at least go there with a bottle of wine or bread...even provisions will do, or when leaving you give them something, even though you don't have much a little will have done better, make Una date better person, Una no go gree...you see your life out side, I love that woman coz she never hide it.... She spoke her mind.

he is just a boyfriend and not in-law yet Mr.man

SweetCunt97:
Hey don't tag me if u ain't igbo. Why d heck will u go visit a fiancée parent if u ain't ready to marry? Cheap things. Better no get sense

Mumu, am igbo, is visiting a girlfriends mum a guarantee of marriage, u shouldnt be igbo, there must be a mistake somewhere, ask very well, maybe u were picked from a dustbin or adopted.

sacajawea:

You dey mind that mariangeles girl, We are Africans ko, we are cansAfri ni.
Na the mama suppose entertain am well sef, talk to am, chat with am, try study am etc.
Money should be the last thing in her mind especially if indeed they are not poor and are well to do.
Atmost him fit drop flowers not necessarily gifts, provisions or money.
Oyinbo no dey reason like this, moreso this is the first time if them meeting, marriage or introduction is not yet in motion per say, so no biggy.
No wonder nigerian men like to control their wives and women, and look down on women generally

sacajawea:
As I saw Simi pics adding in right places,
I just feel like to though Obo

I should've known not to take you seriously...you're too uncultured to worth my attention.
I mean, take a look at your choice of words about a married woman....

I don't consider your words of any worth anymore. From henceforth, whatever you think or say about me does not matter. I won't be any bit offended.

.

shantti:


Mumu, am igbo, is visiting a girlfriends mum a guarantee of marriage, u shouldnt be igbo, there must be a mistake somewhere, ask very well, maybe u were picked from a dustbin or adopted.

You daft. She said fiance. Abi fiance is now bf? Nna bera shift. So he simply went their to eat afternoon food abi

Mariangeles:

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

A very wrong interpretation of the gospel here!

This scripture talks about your talents and abilities making way for you... not literally giving people "gifts" .. smh!

Nigerians are always quick to quote the Bible out of context..

SweetCunt97:
You daft. She said fiance. Abi fiance is now bf? Nna bera shift. So he simply went their to eat afternoon food abi

Biko nne, what is fiance in the absense of dowry payment, if am daft then i wonder what you are, read the story well, he bought gifts the first time he visited, are u sure u r not her mum wit d way u are justifying extreme iberibe,
Mama wey dey answer sweet cunt no be olosho mama be that, u dey find free gift, zuzuwe

ceeceeuwa:

Don't bother arguing with them. Most of them are still teenagers with opera mini free mb.
At least your mom played her part by hosting your boyfriend. Also, it's possible the guy is not well schooled on how to treat would be inlaws, you owe it to him to educate him in a subtle manner. Your approach to the matter must have put him off.

if you no know how to talk you no go keep quiet!! Read in between the lines next time. Did you read anywhere that it was her mother who hosted him? What Is wrong is wrong .

shantti:


Biko nne, what is fiance in the absense of dowry payment, if am daft then i wonder what you are, read the story well, he bought gifts the first time he visited, are u sure u r not her mum wit d way u are justifying extreme iberibe,
Mama wey dey answer sweet cunt no be olosho mama be that, u dey find free gift, zuzuwe

Na una know sha. Go visit yours empty handed

descarado:

Babe, it doesn't follow that way at all.

Going to your inlaw with gifts doesn't make u the good son inlaw. A load we give these guys to carry makes them treat our girls like commodity.

Even if your family don't have, show some dignity.
This is for your future.
When guys say they don't want to marry again and resort to baby mama, we will all condemn them.
Ok, reduce your expectations, no.

The wise ones know what to do anyway.

From girlfriend to betrothed to marriage to wifey, bring bring bring.
I wish u guys luck. This generation needs it
My own na to tie gele and occupy one table

And which way does it follow? A man that doesn't understand courtesy should be allowed to continue in the same vein so that he wouldn't 'treat our girls as commodity'? In what century have men treated women based on the gifts they presented?

Going with gifts doesn't make him a good son-in-law neither does it make him a bad one. So what's your point?

There is no expectations to reduce here. People who don't see giving gifts as a big deal will carry on with that behavior into situations that will ultimately require a gift. Children who are ignored when sucking their thumb do it even unto adulthood.

Ultimately we wonder: who are the wise ones? They, definitely, do not exist.

In retrospect, the same way he doesn't 'have' to bring gifts is the same way the host doesn't 'have' to entertain him but we all know what is right and proper, don't we?

Quick question: If the lady had smaller children as siblings, say ages 5 - 9, would it also make sense he came empty-handed?

SweetCunt97:
So he went to their house to eat? He can't buy anything but can shamelessly eat their food huh

Did the OP mention that food was given to the young man, isnt that shameful, an african mother that should be an emblem of hospitality. For the upteenth time, he brought gifts on his firsr visitation. The way am seeing u, you and the OP might be best of friends in real life and considering the fact that women are their worst enemy, you might have your eyes on the OP's man, so you are subtly encouraging her to ditch him so u can take over, continue

shantti:


Did the OP mention that food was given to the young man, isnt that shameful, an african mother that should be an emblem of hospitality. For the upteenth time, he brought gifts on his firsr visitation. The way am seeing u, you and the OP might be best of friends in real life and considering the fact that women are their worst enemy, you might have your eyes on the OP's man, so you are subtly encouraging her to ditch him so u can take over, continue

Ohooooo! African woman hospitality finish u there. Of old no be to hunt drag along the kill to intending in laws place? Or take along part of meat and crops. No be una fault, technology done spoil una. Men don't even know their responsibilities anymore

SweetCunt97:
Na una know sha. Go visit yours empty handed

Yes, i went to my girlfrinds house on 31st night so we could go for crossover together, i met her mum and she begged to make sure her daughter was back home before 2am, she was not greedy and demanding like you and the op's mother

shantti:


Did the OP mention that food was given to the young man, isnt that shameful, an african mother that should be an emblem of hospitality. For the upteenth time, he brought gifts on his firsr visitation. The way am seeing u, you and the OP might be best of friends in real life and considering the fact that women are their worst enemy, you might have your eyes on the OP's man, so you are subtly encouraging her to ditch him so u can take over, continue

hahaha..mother and pikin collaboration doing local Yahoo.

let me go and date her too and carry my own fiance badge,give the mama N100 bread chop her pikin for atleast one month and find my way..lol.. ndi ezuzu

SweetCunt97:
Ohooooo! African woman hospitality finish u there. Of old no be to hunt drag along the kill to intending in laws place? Or take along part of meat and crops. No be una fault, technology done spoil una. Men don't even know their responsibilities anymore

Gini bu this intending in laws u r talking about, are you daft, the young man brought gift on his first visit,