sirjamesjnr:
I never considered her job when I created this thread. I base my judgment base on the following
1: She Is Emotionally Stable
2: Has A Good Command of The Gramma and Diction
3: She Is Radiates Positivity & Lifts People Up
4: She Is Socially Skilled
5: She Plays Little or no Game
6: She Knows When to Set Boundaries
7: She Is Emotionally Intelligent
8: She Has a Growth Mindset (And Don’t Take Things Personally)
9: The Unapproachable Style
10: Has Vast Knowledge
11: Comes From a Good Family
12: She Is Smart.
Her job is a plus but those lowlifes with lack of basic reasoning take their time to disgrace their ancestors.

This Nigga na confirm ajebo. U no street mehn. Shey u no know say dem no dey hail woman like this? U just gave her an edge over you mehn. Nigga been breaking guy's code all day long. If u truly love your woman, then be kind enough not to make it too obvious. Women love mysteries. Don't be too predictable.
If you don't listen to the voice of reasoning. U will surely learn it the hard way.

Wish u well though!

DrFunmisticGlow:
Wow!! Nairalanders can never be happy for other people, can they?!

Why would they? When you and your boyfriend wanted to trend and wanted an immatured love story read (this relationship is not matured yet, which is why your boyfriend tainted complains about you with praise, i.e I like her so much for her class and career but she is too busy to create time for me and I had to lodge in 3 different hotels before I could see her. No man is ever happy experiencing this. I have flown to Abuja to see a lady before; she moved her flight going to Europe from Abuja to Lagos, just so she could see me too (costing over $200)). No relationship bears fruits when there's no balance and reciprocated efforts from the two persons in it. According to your love story, your high-value lady is not doing that right now.

I would expect him to create this thread if he has lessons to share with others who might find themselves in a relationship with busy young men or women. The only thing he did was talk about you and the discomfort he is enduring for being in a relationship with a busy doctor. If you want people to stay out of your business (your relationship, which is a critical part of your life), you must learn to keep it private.

Additionally, the two of you should get to work, see where to amend and then balance work with life and build something greater than what we are currently sensing. When you get to the real work of removing clutters from your life, work and create time for life and love, you guys can come back to tell us how to make it work for busy men out there. For now, the two of you should get to work on solidifying this relationship. People cannot destroy what they don't know. Keep it private and it won't matter if Nairalanders are happy for you and your boyfriend or not. It is that simple.

REMEMBER: remove clutters from your life so that you can give time to love. Without love, life cannot be enriched or lived well. I wish you two the best!

Chatflick:

When you guys marry how would you guys cope? I'm not even talking about you guys seeing but there are other ways of giving someone attention. Anyways, goodluck to you guys

Every day we video chat both in the morning before I step out for work and in the evening. During the lockdown, we spend almost 8 hours of video calls every day. We order things online for each other. We are trying our best. A lot of sacrifice and compromise from me and her. We are evolving and still growing. I was only pointing out what we put in to make the relationship work.

My brother you are the new "president of fedral republic of Simps". i am happy for you.congrats! pocohantas& co. are I mpressed

Greystone:
"High-value woman"...

Yet your preek is suffering

You be fool aswearugod


I laughed so hard, I almost cried

Raalsalghul:


You didn't need to write it.

Your attitude and previous write ups were screaming it to the sky.

Nairalaanders never forgets

Op, chelum na highway

Haha.. Op is a joker. The lady you have placed on high pedestal don't even have your time, haven't made you her priority. Plus you are whinging about coping and dating high class lady.

You lack self respect and have no respect for the lady by telling us she is the poorest of all the women you have been with and the same person you have spent much on than others.

Get a grip, her job is no excuse. You are just not her priority. If things were to turn the other way round, bet she won't write the epistle you have written.

No matter how busy she is as a doctor. If you are her priority, you will come first and she will create time for you without you needing to whinge on nairaland.

Stop shaming your overhyped lady just to buttress up your argument.

Female doctors who have busier schedule than your self acclaimed idol still have time for social and family.

Don't be such a knob. You deserve better.

DrFunmisticGlow:
how old are you? Your forties? Fifties?

Those people have thier lives figured out. We are trying to figure out ours.

A consultant neurologist with Time? Now that's something you don't see everyday.

You need to stop justifying your inability to create time for your boyfriend (if your story is real).
There are doctors that have time. You don't spend the 24 hours X 7 in the hospital you work.
There are surgeons who go on a date, travel for fun, go on monthly dates, etc. I have never seen a profession that doesn't have a room for days off for its asset: the people, employees, of you are one.

sirjamesjnr:
Yes, She won't have time for me. She doesn't have time for herself either . But trust me she always takes out her precious nap and food time, just to talk to me .

I visit her workplace she wouldn't have time to say hi also I have to sleep three nights in different hotels to be able to see her. I got angry one day and ask her, how will she take care of my kids when we marry.

When she is with me, I never want that moment to end. Our romantic life has had to suffer a lot of time because of duty calls. I have to get myself busier so I don't get emotional. she is honest and blunt, doesn’t beat around the bush. Sometimes I have to win her with a strong argument and points.

She is independent and can make life-death decisions, so I don’t feel bad if she doesn’t consult me and make some decisions highhandedly. I trust her, she good decision-maker the majority of times. For us, It’s accountability and responsibility that counts. I won't settle for less and she won't either. No room for excuses or self-pity.

She has to be nice to her patients and fellow male colleagues. I don’t mistake this for flirting. Her male colleagues are there with her than I am, so I am more comfortable and carefree because I trusted her. we do know our boundaries. Most of the time she will be discussing how much she misses me with them. I have the self-confidence that helps me though sometimes I get a bit jealous.

She is Superwoman without the cap all the time. So I have to decide whether to expect even more from her or be Super Man myself and share her burden a bit more.. understand her a bit more..love her a bit more.

As a doctor, she is extremely sensitive but also blunt. She knows when I need a hug and when an earful. Most of the time, she sees me as a case, desperately trying to diagnose my actions, detect my mood, I have to explain every action, etc.

She is great, very polite, courteous, intelligent, and fun and I love her effortlessly. The hard part is living with the job, the workload, the schedule, she never off duty, even when she is off duty, no time for long conversations. I already know I am committed to her and I must be committed to her job too. I need to be supportive of her, emotionally mature and have a life of my own. It has been a long ride but our relationship is thrilling. Will I choose another if given an opportunity? Only if I stop been me.

Learn from me, if you can't compromise in some area never date a high valued woman. With slay mamas wannabe, You have no issue, all you need is your time and money and you are the boss.

Medical workers have off duty days.

Though speaking about nurses. Sometimes 4 days off.

People need to stop referring to human beings as "high value." It's crass and disrespectful. Either someone is compatible with you or not. Everyone understands what that is for them and what their deal breakers are.

sirjamesjnr:
Yes, She won't have time for me. She doesn't have time for herself either . But trust me she always takes out her precious nap and food time, just to talk to me .

I visit her workplace she wouldn't have time to say hi also I have to sleep three nights in different hotels to be able to see her. I got angry one day and ask her, how will she take care of my kids when we marry.

When she is with me, I never want that moment to end. Our romantic life has had to suffer a lot of time because of duty calls. I have to get myself busier so I don't get emotional. she is honest and blunt, doesn’t beat around the bush. Sometimes I have to win her with a strong argument and points.

She is independent and can make life-death decisions, so I don’t feel bad if she doesn’t consult me and make some decisions highhandedly. I trust her, she good decision-maker the majority of times. For us, It’s accountability and responsibility that counts. I won't settle for less and she won't either. No room for excuses or self-pity.

She has to be nice to her patients and fellow male colleagues. I don’t mistake this for flirting. Her male colleagues are there with her than I am, so I am more comfortable and carefree because I trusted her. we do know our boundaries. Most of the time she will be discussing how much she misses me with them. I have the self-confidence that helps me though sometimes I get a bit jealous.

She is Superwoman without the cap all the time. So I have to decide whether to expect even more from her or be Super Man myself and share her burden a bit more.. understand her a bit more..love her a bit more.

As a doctor, she is extremely sensitive but also blunt. She knows when I need a hug and when an earful. Most of the time, she sees me as a case, desperately trying to diagnose my actions, detect my mood, I have to explain every action, etc.

She is great, very polite, courteous, intelligent, and fun and I love her effortlessly. The hard part is living with the job, the workload, the schedule, she never off duty, even when she is off duty, no time for long conversations. I already know I am committed to her and I must be committed to her job too. I need to be supportive of her, emotionally mature and have a life of my own. It has been a long ride but our relationship is thrilling. Will I choose another if given an opportunity? Only if I stop been me.

Learn from me, if you can't compromise in some area never date a high valued woman. With slay mamas wannabe, You have no issue, all you need is your time and money and you are the boss.

She is the one, trust A1, loyalty A1, loving and caring A1 but before you start having children you just have to create a time that works because the presence of both parent matters, if children can't get enough of the time and attention they need... Ha! Wahala.... At a point she has and you have to be there to be there as much as they need so they won't go astray. I am just saying, that is the major challenge though.

sirjamesjnr:
I don't know how to educate a fool who lacks basic reasoning and comprehension skills but for clarity sake. Being a doctor (Most doctors are neither rich nor poor) doesn't make one high valued. This is who my girl is 1: She Is Emotionally Stable
2: Has A Good Command of Gramma and Diction
3: She Is Radiates Positivity & Lifts People Up
4: She Is Socially Skilled
5: She Plays Little or no Game
6: She Knows When to Set Boundaries
7: She Is Emotionally Intelligent
8: She Has a Growth Mindset (And Don’t Take Things Personally)
9: The Unapproachable Style
10: Has Vast Knowledge
11: Comes From a Good Family
12: She Is Smart.
Humble and learn rather than disgracing your ancestors.
Your level of reasoning makes me want to throw up so I never stoop low and dine with a dirty pig.
Run along, boy

You’ll learn. I just pray it doesn’t take too long.
The b!tch you claim is busy is here quoting mentions from one post to post and yet your rotten brain couldn’t tell you she isn’t into you. Continue drinking from your water of self comfort mr high value. She has good command of grammar! Fool. My 6yrs old neighbor’s daughter will speak fluent English for you if you wanna try her. She had emotional intelligence; I see that’s why you are been fully manipulated. Just wake up from your slumber else you’ll raise a child for another man.

Chii59:

And you had to resort to insults. Very predictable of you.

Where’s the insult? Tell me. Pls step aside ma’am.

Profkenny1:


100% Fact! High value for a woman has nothing to do with how much she makes or her profession. A high-value woman is a woman who is feminine, fit, cooperative, submissive, and attractive!

OP: Your woman is too masculine and uncooperative

Leave him. Let him be there fooling himself. Mumu man. He’s even defending the b!tch. A woman who call you by her colleague name. When she’s neither a Director Manager nor a Consultant. I wonder what she’s always doing for been always too busy. And to crown it. The lady is always here on NL commenting on every threads.

This year no room for self-pity

sirjamesjnr:
Don't mind those fools. I had to get some stuffs in computer village, It was late, so I had to sleep in a hotel in Ikeja. Babe couldn't come over due to traffic and workload. Next day I went to VI book a hotel, Babe was on calls with a serious case of the emergency, third day, she spends all day with me. I won't dignify those fools with any further reply, let them wallow in their ignorant.

Exactly. Ignore them.

jawalis:

Leave him. Let him be there fooling himself. Mumu man. He’s even defending the b!tch. A woman who call you by her colleague name. When she’s neither a Director Manager nor a Consultant. I wonder what she’s always doing for been always too busy. And to crown it. The lady is always here on NL commenting on every threads.

You're so pained... Eeyah. Tell me, did she turn you down?

sirjamesjnr:
Every day we video chat both in the morning before I step out for work and in the evening. During the lockdown, we spend almost 8 hours of video calls every day. We order things online for each other. We are trying our best. A lot of sacrifice and compromise from me and her. We are evolving and still growing. I was only pointing out what we put in to make the relationship work.

Chief. I decided to weigh in here after reading your post and the comments from others.

First, I'm married and have been for a long time so in this regards, I'm very experienced than you. I was also in a long distance relationship with my wife, then my girlfriend. Honestly, she worked for the relationship because I had many ladies on rotation. She worked extremely hard. I read where you said you loved being the boss in your relationship.

First, you cannot be the boss. You are only the man and should dictate how the relationship goes. I also read you make 4x your lady friend. That's good. Now, being the man, you have to make her relocate to where you are. As a doctor, she can get a job in your location and since you earn good, money shouldn't be the problem. If your lady friend says no - then you have a problem on your hands.

Trust me on this, family is everything regardless of your job, career or the money you make. You don't want a woman who doesn't have time for you or the kids. That won't go well and it will result to resentment in the future. If you think your relationship is hard, wait till you get married without fixing these issues. Women love what gives them meaning and it seems your ladyfriend is in love with her job/career and that's not good for a marriage.

Control your relationship now before you create a lifetime of pains in your marriage. Forget the 8 hours of video calls - long distance relationships are not true relationships. I know this from experience. Be the man in your relationship and lead it in the direction you want. Your lady friend should be compromising to you and not the other way around. She should be doing the visiting and not you. You can foot the flight tickets but the commuting should be on her and you have to give her a deadline when she has to relocate to be with you.

I speak from extensive experience. You may choose to ignore or implement it. However, if you do nothing and end up marrying her, you won't be satisfied in your marriage. Trust me on this - marriage is very hard, very very hard.

Finally - there is nothing as a high value woman. High earning, yes. But high value woman - no. All the best.

sirjamesjnr:
Yes, I let go of an opportunity to be an American citizen to be with my girl. You can call it pure love but it is more than that. 1: I met her untouched(I am the first guy she is in love with) 2: I saw brain and level of reasoning so I saw a woman I can evolve with to any height we ever want.
My girl has done more than enough you could possibly imagine. All through the pandemic, we were in an average 8 hours video calls every day. I can't count the resources she put in though I spend more. She reciprocates gifts every now and then. You have no ideal sacrifices we have made for this relationship to stay untainted.

I have been on nairaland 15 years so I am not a young person.
My advice: Stop responding. You and your girl have a beautiful relationship that 90% of the haters wish they had.
However this thread which started wonderfully is now filled with poisonous, bad energy.
If I were you I would distance myself from it. You have made a good point. I pray for you that the toxicity has no effect in your relationship, and I wish you all the best with your lady

Illusive marriage is all I see here.

Op, if you can't switch this lifestyle between you and her then, it will end in tears...I bet you.

It's better to have a broke submissive wife that'll always be there for you and your kids than your High Rated Lady friend.

sirjamesjnr:
You are dragging me out but I have to come clean.
Five top Sacrifices
1: Five years of good friendship with an American lady: I have to choose between Green card( working opportunities) or my girl.
2: I have to explain every motive sometime with proofs. ( I like being the boss in my relationship)
3:I had to endure a less romantic moment: due to her job, babe is always on calls.
4: I put up a lot of patience dealing with her: Last time we met I slept in three different hotels, spend good money, endure Lagos noise for three days before she could find time to be with me.
5: Always be the one travel to come meet her: Only once my babe visits me in Abuja. I like hosting my girl but I can't for now.
These are huge compromises for me.
Top five things you would wish for her to adjust to have your relationship better
1:Absolute Trust.
2: step up romantic words and deed
3: Find time to read books with me
4: Putting me first before her family
5: Go on a vacation with me.

OP’s written English is very very poor. Did you say you’re dating a medical doctor who loves you but hasn’t got enough time for you. You’re probably daydreaming.

Shokoloko:


I have been on nairaland 15 years so I am not a young person.
My advice: Stop responding. You and your girl have a beautiful relationship that 90% of the haters wish they had.
However this thread which started wonderfully is now filled with poisonous, bad energy.
If I were you I would distance myself from it. You have made a good point. I pray for you that the toxicity has no effect in your relationship, and I wish you all the best with your lady

Since 2006!!

Cousin9999:
People need to stop referring to human beings as "high value." It's crass and disrespectful. Either someone is compatible with you or not. Everyone understands what that is for them and what their deal breakers are.

Facts!!! So who come be the low value ones na? Seeds have been sown in this relationship as a virtue of this thread. Let's hope it germinates into something positive and worthwhile... All that good diction, social skills bla bla talk are all good but secondary... Loyalty and a ride or die is all that matters mehn

Albertone:


Only brokeness and frustrations can make someone attack another person who didn't even say something bad in the first instance.

No wonder you and your mom broke down when your fiance didn't buy ordinary bread for her....hunger is truly bad.

This "bread" stuff gets me every time.

sirjamesjnr:
I do not know how to educate fools. A high-value woman has nothing to do with her profession. This is what my girl stand for
1: She Is Emotionally Stable
2: Has A Good Command of The Gramma and Diction
3: She Is Radiates Positivity & Lifts People Up
4: She Is Socially Skilled
5: She Plays Little or no Game
6: She Knows When to Set Boundaries
7: She Is Emotionally Intelligent
8: She Has a Growth Mindset (And Don’t Take Things Personally)
9: The Unapproachable Style
10: Has Vast Knowledge
11: Comes From a Good Family
12: She Is Smart.
If this does not qualify her as high value, what else?

What you just wrote doesn't reflect high value in a woman. Again, from what you wrote, it appears she ain't on your program! This means she isn't cooperative with you! Tell me how many hours she spent on phone with you on your birthday? Tell me how often she has found time to visit you? Tell me how she has shown she's willing to be submissive to you?

If you're a Christian or Muslim, according to the scriptures, you should know that the purpose of a woman is a man.

CalliDora1:
Sorry to say but this doesn't seem like a relationship to me. It looks like enslavement. You're enslaved with her in her job.

Wait until you start having kids, that's when you'll know the slavery you put yourself.

Your relationship, your cross.

Don't border to advice op anymore don't you notice he is the person as Dr funmi..He has not been reply rather funmi has been the one doing the talking.......I repeat op is funmi...funmi is op

OP seems you are jobless �
may God help us all

I have no business with your argument but real estate and engineers are mostly paid very well plus extra money you get at the site.

truthsayer009:


Still not an excuse, why are you so bothered in proving a Doctor is low value?

Please tell me which profession in Nigeria is well paid?

Is it Actors, Engineers, Lawyers, Teachers or who? Everyone is paid poorly in Nigeria except those working in Oil companies or maybe musicians.

So please, accept the fact & move on.

sirjamesjnr:
Yes, She won't have time for me. She doesn't have time for herself either . But trust me she always takes out her precious nap and food time, just to talk to me .

I visit her workplace she wouldn't have time to say hi also I have to sleep three nights in different hotels to be able to see her. I got angry one day and ask her, how will she take care of my kids when we marry.

When she is with me, I never want that moment to end. Our romantic life has had to suffer a lot of time because of duty calls. I have to get myself busier so I don't get emotional. she is honest and blunt, doesn’t beat around the bush. Sometimes I have to win her with a strong argument and points.

She is independent and can make life-death decisions, so I don’t feel bad if she doesn’t consult me and make some decisions highhandedly. I trust her, she good decision-maker the majority of times. For us, It’s accountability and responsibility that counts. I won't settle for less and she won't either. No room for excuses or self-pity.

She has to be nice to her patients and fellow male colleagues. I don’t mistake this for flirting. Her male colleagues are there with her than I am, so I am more comfortable and carefree because I trusted her. we do know our boundaries. Most of the time she will be discussing how much she misses me with them. I have the self-confidence that helps me though sometimes I get a bit jealous.

She is Superwoman without the cap all the time. So I have to decide whether to expect even more from her or be Super Man myself and share her burden a bit more.. understand her a bit more..love her a bit more.

As a doctor, she is extremely sensitive but also blunt. She knows when I need a hug and when an earful. Most of the time, she sees me as a case, desperately trying to diagnose my actions, detect my mood, I have to explain every action, etc.

She is great, very polite, courteous, intelligent, and fun and I love her effortlessly. The hard part is living with the job, the workload, the schedule, she never off duty, even when she is off duty, no time for long conversations. I already know I am committed to her and I must be committed to her job too. I need to be supportive of her, emotionally mature and have a life of my own. It has been a long ride but our relationship is thrilling. Will I choose another if given an opportunity? Only if I stop been me.

Learn from me, if you can't compromise in some area never date a high valued woman. With slay mamas wannabe, You have no issue, all you need is your time and money and you are the boss.

e be like say you done dey talk to much.
Fem

jawalis:

Leave him. Let him be there fooling himself. Mumu man. He’s even defending the b!tch. A woman who call you by her colleague name. When she’s neither a Director Manager nor a Consultant. I wonder what she’s always doing for been always too busy. And to crown it. The lady is always here on NL commenting on every threads.

Damn bro, that's crazy! Always here on Nairaland?! But claims very busy..SMH. I even saw she created a thread on his birthday apologizing for not calling him...Right there I knew this nigga got really low self-esteem and she will soon monkey-branch.