woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU

Beg her to forgive him for what? What did he do wrong? Something that happened before his marriage? A child that he was told wasn't his? Why do we give women this much power na?

OP: 1)TELL YOUR WIFE.
2) RUN A DNA TEST.
3) FIND HOW BEST TO SORT THIS WITH THE MAN THAT LOST HIS JOB.
4) CUT TIES WITH THIS YOUR EX - SHE MAY EITHER RUIN YOUR HOME OR KILL YOU.

DONT RUN A DNA TEST FIRST WITHOUT LETTING YOUR WIFE KNOW.

charles009:
Good people of nairaland,
Everything you are about to read is not fiction but certain reality.

At the heat of this DNA wahala, a married Ex called me on 6th of Jan to notify me that her son is mine and not her husbands. I remember vividly a certain Saturday in 2015, when we argued intensely over the paternity of the child during her pregnancy. She insisted it was her boyfriends, make una fear women. She swore she was single. Our calculations showed she was ovulating while we had some encounters. She proceeded to block me on all social media platforms and 2 months later, her friend informed me of her wedding.


The issue here is that I am married with two kids and expecting another, she told me her husband lost his job early 2018 and it has been a very rough patch for her family. she says she wants a divorce.

I asked for the boys pictures and it put instant tears to my eyes. Showed a few friends and the resemblance is striking so they said. The most painful of all, he looks not properly looked after.

I am doing fairly OK now, I wouldn't wanna to see my blood suffer, if you were in my shoes how would you handle this. My wife would not want to hear of another child...

Mature advise please...

My brother this might not be as easy as you think but pray for God guidance.
First of all how do you confront the man that has been taking care of the young man since birth (what will you do or how will you feel if it is the other way around.

Secondly from your story the woman involved can do anything for a better life.
I think she dumped and had to marry the other guy because you might not be too well to do then. Now the reverse is the case and she wants to play a mind game with you and open office for your head.

Thirdly to me resemblance is the least thing you based your judgement on. Had it been she did not tell you the baby is yours you will not see any connection with the child even if you stand face to face with the baby.

What I would advice you to do if you really want to know the truth is for you to tell the lady involved to fix a date that you would come to their house to see the husband, she should also tell her own people to be there because you will be coming with yours and if possible the husband people too should be there.

Tell her on that day she would say it with her own mouth to the hearing of all present. From what transpires that day would determine the next line of action to take.

If she does not agree to this my brother focus on your family and be happy with your wife and kids that you can confirm that are yours .

May the Lord be your strength

woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU

No need for any forgiveness. This thing happened before he met his current wife. And the girlfriend then denied and even blocked him from all social media.

All he needs to do is just let the wife be aware of the situation. Anything they agree to do together is fine.

Op don't forget to run a DNA test for proper confirmation. Leave they picture thing.

charles009:
Good people of nairaland,
Everything you are about to read is not fiction but certain reality.

At the heat of this DNA wahala, a married Ex called me on 6th of Jan to notify me that her son is mine and not her husbands. I remember vividly a certain Saturday in 2015, when we argued intensely over the paternity of the child during her pregnancy. She insisted it was her boyfriends, make una fear women. She swore she was single. Our calculations showed she was ovulating while we had some encounters. She proceeded to block me on all social media platforms and 2 months later, her friend informed me of her wedding.


The issue here is that I am married with two kids and expecting another, she told me her husband lost his job early 2018 and it has been a very rough patch for her family. she says she wants a divorce.

I asked for the boys pictures and it put instant tears to my eyes. Showed a few friends and the resemblance is striking so they said. The most painful of all, he looks not properly looked after.

I am doing fairly OK now, I wouldn't wanna to see my blood suffer, if you were in my shoes how would you handle this. My wife would not want to hear of another child...

Mature advise please...

Personally to me, since all this happened before you met your current wife, it shouldn't be a big issue between you and your wife, all it requires is understanding, but it will be a disaster on the side of that your fellow man...I'm very sure her shifting the pregnancy to him accelerated the marriage process, now imagine him finding out the boy ain't his son? I can't imagine the of pain considering the fact he already lost his job and things is quite difficult for him....

putting myself in your shoes, I don't know what to do

The problem of this world start and end with a woman. Just because he lost his job, that useless gold digger decided to take a way the man child. Mr man, be careful you may be the next victim.
The guy was with her even though she was not bringing shi shi to the family, now the idiot want to divorce the guy because he lost his job.
If you are looking for the real devil don't go far just catch any woman. Forget all the pretenders in nairaland, they are all the same.

Slynation:
perhaps you didn't process the post very well, you will observe that was before he met his current wife...

I didn't even read the content. I Only commented based on the caption.

[quote author=Slimslimqq post=98018395]this is a very sensitive issue.
my advise is, before u proceed in claiming the child. why not go for a DNA test if u can afford it. then if the test comes out positive then u know what to do. am sure u won't watch ur child suffer. [Wow very very good advice, u av nailed this matter my brother. hope pls where are u? pls read this comment above and make sure u work with it simple]

First thing first. DNA test

charles009:
Thanks folks, I discussed with her about the paternity test.
She agreed. Will be checking up a few hospitals in Lagos and pricing too.

Will tell wify much later. This has a potential of wrecking my home. I hope it doesn't.

Can I custody the child and atleast my wife wouldn't know, maybe give him to my mum or sister?

You will turn a simple matter a complex one.
Did this happen before or after marriage.?

That where brought the guy had luck so much he lost his job




You better be careful and approach everything with caution if you dont want to jam agbako

woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU

.
I don't get it. Why should he ask for forgiveness. It happened before marriage oga. So it's not his fault that it happened before he could married to her. The only thing he needs to do is explain how things happened not to start begging

Klass99:


I was about to ask what you've decided to do before I saw this. Let us reason this matter together;

6. Let the woman who gave birth to this child take care of him. She is not an invalid.

7. Why on earth do you even want to get involved after such deceit? Are your 3 kids with wifey not enough for you?

You don't know how welfare works.

The Op is in soup. The child is his and it's his responsibility to take care of the child calculated based on his income or worth.

Hunter Biden thinks it's easy to forgo responsibility, so do you.

The lady gets to be paid for taking care of the child in addition to the cost of the boy's welfare.

slimjohn2k5:
No one is thinking of the other guy that lost his job.
After losing your job, your wife tells you that probably your only child is not yours, that will be a terrible one ohhhh.
I don't have advice for this but consider the guy that lost his job, also both of u cannot hide it for too long. Uhh

I was just thinking the same thing. I'm guessing you're married. Flesh and bone did not reveal this to you.

slimjohn2k5:
No one is thinking of the other guy that lost his job.
After losing your job, your wife tells you that probably your only child is not yours, that will be a terrible one ohhhh.
I don't have advice for this but consider the guy that lost his job, also both of u cannot hide it for too long. Uhh

Bro, you are blessed for making this statement. I respect people who see/reason matters from many angles, and not just from one perspective.

Someone is about to be unfortunate in life and that person is a Nairalander.

Yap, you can’t neglect your blood some were, but you must be certain with a DNA test to comfirm yours.
Because she might be play games with you due to the fact that you are abit stabilize in life.

Would she have told you that the child is yours if her husband wasnt jobless? I would advice you to be careful as such a woman could destroy you and your family.

[quote author=charles009 post=98018196]Good people of nairaland,
Everything you are about to read is not fiction but certain reality.

The intro of this post lasan...

Pierocash:
Forget about the child, focus on your family by law he isn't your child.

Heartlessness of the highest order.

You are more evil than Buhari and Boko haram

all those PRO-FORNICATION CREW UNA SEE UNA LIVES

embrace holiness embrace Abstinence b4 marriage
to avoid stories that touch

Pierocash:
get educated bro,don't argue what is plain.I didn't write the law. Go carry out your investigation ,and you will be shocked that what I said is true.

wait o. You mean if someone should marry chioma now, he will claim davido's son as his?

Pierocash:
Forget about the child, focus on your family by law he isn't your child.

And biological whose?

providencia:
wait o. You mean if someone should marry chioma now, he will claim davido's son as his?

He's right. A child conceived in a marriage is always considered the husband's son by law; regardless of what a DNA test result shows. Davido and Chioma are not married, so a DNA test would have to be taken to prove paternity, unless both of them agree by mutual consent that it is Davido's.

slimjohn2k5:
No one is thinking of the other guy that lost his job.
After losing your job, your wife tells you that probably your only child is not yours, that will be a terrible one ohhhh.
I don't have advice for this but consider the guy that lost his job, also both of u cannot hide it for too long. Uhh

The op better be careful. An hungry man is an angryman. That man can knack him something

Confirm via DNA
Take your child in or set aside an allowance to care for him while in her care. Pay directly for most of his needs and give her some cash monthly
Monitor her cos it seems she's all about the money. Divorcing her man cos he lost his job?

MadamExcellency:


You don't know how welfare works.

The Op is in soup. The child is his and it's his responsibility to take care of the child calculated based on his income or worth.

Hunter Biden thinks it's easy to forgo responsibility, so do you.

The lady gets to be paid for taking care of the child in addition to the cost of the boy's welfare.

Naija has different laws from the US

RisenPhoenix1:


No. A child conceived in a marriage is always considered the husband's son by law; regardless of what a DNA test result shows.

okay. Thanks

Offpoint1:
Become a proxy or an anonymous father

Once the truth is out, I bet my balls the 2 marriages will crumble.

my own bet is that if they(ex and op) should just tell the ex husband that he is not the father of this child (in his current condition).
na ex,op and pikin fit collect either gun,cutlass or spiritual warfare

Na money she wan collect from you ,...heartless lady