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My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise - Family (7) - Nairaland

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My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do / How Can I Stop My Ex From Visiting My Matrimonial Home? / Dad’s Incredible Reaction To News 14-year-old Son Is Not His (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by CBARRY1: 6:43pm On Jan 14
Complicated issue . Decide for yourself.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by oglalasioux(m): 6:43pm On Jan 14
Pierocash:
Forget about the child, focus on your family by law he isn't your child.

You've got over a hundred likes on this mention. But trust me, if you were the one, you won't forget that child. In addition, if the child finds out in future (he will find out), he'll surely look for his father.

In terms of law as you said, modern law recognise biological parents not marriage. I suggest you research more on that.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by GetMeRight: 6:45pm On Jan 14
Pierocash:
Forget about the child, focus on your family by law he isn't your child.

Forget? Just like that! That could be difficult

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Adesolomon2014(m): 6:46pm On Jan 14
Do a DNA test before taking any kinda responsibility but let ur wife know about it all this way u will avoid any wah ala...I hate to see my blood suffer
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by sweetgala(m): 6:47pm On Jan 14
woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU

Beg for forgiveness for what exactly , being deceived !
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by jaymorgan(m): 6:47pm On Jan 14
Lack of self-control
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Gaddafih001: 6:49pm On Jan 14
Slimslimqq:
this is a very sensitive issue.
my advise is, before u proceed in claiming the child. why not go for a DNA test if u can afford it. then if the test comes out positive then u know what to do. am sure u won't watch ur child suffer.
You guys are funny..
He has no bragging rights over that son.
He donated spermatozoa and that doesn’t qualify him to be the father..
If I see myself in this situation and you want to claim him,even if I have hundred kids, I will make sure I kill you..

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by engrzico(m): 6:52pm On Jan 14
Bro my advice is simple.

Try link up with your ex's husband, see if you can help him stand on his feet again, but do so codedly.

Advice your ex to still stay with him and take care of your son.

Let the sleeping dog lie.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Ninisun: 6:53pm On Jan 14
MOLOTOVcockTAIL:
shocked


Pls don't take that child now the man is psychologically and financially down due job loss.Might lead to heart attack cos that child has been part of him.
Help train that kid from a far for now to prevent Nuru saga.
That lady must be heartless for trying the divorce the man due to lack of job,some women sef.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by donsiqua(m): 6:56pm On Jan 14
All I can say is NA WA. Wahala be like bicycle
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by seasy: 6:56pm On Jan 14
What I want to understand is, if she is divorcing her husband because of the deceit of giving him another man's son or divorcing the husband because he lost his job and things are difficult for her.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by GAZZUZZ(m): 6:57pm On Jan 14
slimjohn2k5:
No one is thinking of the other guy that lost his job.
After losing your job, your wife tells you that probably your only child is not yours, that will be a terrible one ohhhh.
I don't have advice for this but consider the guy that lost his job, also both of u cannot hide it for too long. Uhh

That woman is a witch, she wants to shift camp now that her husband is not doing well. If her hubby was doing well she would not have told him.

As for me, I will not spend 1naira on DNA, I would block her on WhatsApp.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Slynation(m): 7:00pm On Jan 14
CalliDora1:



I didn't even read the content. I Only commented based on the caption. tongue
And you just have to shift the blame to the man....grin
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Ninisun: 7:01pm On Jan 14
MOLOTOVcockTAIL:
shocked

Op please don't take that child now to prevent another Nuru saga.That man is already psychologically and financially down which can lead to heart attack or death.
Help that child from a far for now,that lady is so heartless and wicked.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by snookcg: 7:02pm On Jan 14
Congratulations if your Tori na confama. Nothing dey happen because say the happen don happen.
And don't neglect and be angry at your outside pikin because say nor be hin send you make you go use your propeller for your unstable relationship partner.
Lesson for the ladies of nowadays that are falling for send forth sex, it might just be your lucky day tongue
Lesson for guys, nor dey knack wetin you neva wan marry without condom.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by braine(m): 7:02pm On Jan 14
sexy74:

My brother this might not be as easy as you think but pray for God guidance.
First of all how do you confront the man that has been taking care of the young man since birth (what will you do or how will you feel if it is the other way around.

Secondly from your story the woman involved can do anything for a better life.
I think she dumped and had to marry the other guy because you might not be too well to do then. Now the reverse is the case and she wants to play a mind game with you and open office for your head.

Thirdly to me resemblance is the least thing you based your judgement on. Had it been she did not tell you the baby is yours you will not see any connection with the child even if you stand face to face with the baby.

What I would advice you to do if you really want to know the truth is for you to tell the lady involved to fix a date that you would come to their house to see the husband, she should also tell her own people to be there because you will be coming with yours and if possible the husband people too should be there.

Tell her on that day she would say it with her own mouth to the hearing of all present. From what transpires that day would determine the next line of action to take.

If she does not agree to this my brother focus on your family and be happy with your wife and kids that you can confirm that are yours .

May the Lord be your strength


Wisdom right here.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Slynation(m): 7:03pm On Jan 14
2oby:



Bros leave the boy where he is. Give him the best support he can get. If the man he is wt is not treating him differently, pls leave him wer he is. Bringing him to ur home might cos trouble 4 d boy n u.

While serving(NYSC), i had a girlfriend(junior corper) who told me she has a boyfriend b4 we started our own relationship. I didnt mind since i had mine too. But along d line we fell deeply in-love n i begged her to let us get serious since we both loved ourselves. She will cry n tell me no. 2 months after leaving service, i was called that she was pregnant. I asked her y didnt she tell me but she told me it wasnt mine but the main guy's own(unknown to me she was married to the main guy), how can that b true? d main guy was in d east while me n her wer sleeping together everyday in Ekiti for almost 6 months. During this pregnancy period(she still didnt tell me she was married), she will ask me to travel down to c her but i always refused but i kept wondering if i am not d father of her preg y ask me to come? She kept calling me all tru her labor( i kept my close to her cos i dont want her to block me). After d labour, she told me she lost d baby. I blived her n i still kept close( only chat on FB cos we r not in same state). Today, she has 3 children but her first child is around 7 year( i finished serving 2013) but she kept his face away from FB. I have resolved not to cos any trouble 4 d boy(if he is mine), herself or myself. If d boy is mine, it is best he stays wt her than wt my wife, i will always support them in all ways i can. Staying wt me might really affect him cos my wife is aggressive even to her own child.
I pray God gives us wisdom to manage our past bad deeds.

Sorry 4 d grammatical error.
The part where you said your wife is very aggressive gat me laughing...grin
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by thatigboman: 7:05pm On Jan 14
charles009:
Good people of nairaland,
Everything you are about to read is not fiction but certain reality.

At the heat of this DNA wahala, a married Ex called me on 6th of Jan to notify me that her son is mine and not her husbands. I remember vividly a certain Saturday in 2015, when we argued intensely over the paternity of the child during her pregnancy. She insisted it was her boyfriends, make una fear women. She swore she was single. Our calculations showed she was ovulating while we had some encounters. She proceeded to block me on all social media platforms and 2 months later, her friend informed me of her wedding.


The issue here is that I am married with two kids and expecting another, she told me her husband lost his job early 2018 and it has been a very rough patch for her family. she says she wants a divorce.

I asked for the boys pictures and it put instant tears to my eyes. Showed a few friends and the resemblance is striking so they said. The most painful of all, he looks not properly looked after.

I am doing fairly OK now, I wouldn't wanna to see my blood suffer, if you were in my shoes how would you handle this. My wife would not want to hear of another child...

Mature advise please...
how is the child your blood when u didnt marry the girl? DNA or no DNA, the child belongs to your ex's husband.

2 Likes

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Seun4Christ(m): 7:05pm On Jan 14
Be very careful of that Lady . She wants to creep back into your life and by extension your home.

Think about it , why the story now when things are very hard for her husband?
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Coolcalmcollect(m): 7:08pm On Jan 14
charles009:
Good people of nairaland,
Everything you are about to read is not fiction but certain reality.

At the heat of this DNA wahala, a married Ex called me on 6th of Jan to notify me that her son is mine and not her husbands. I remember vividly a certain Saturday in 2015, when we argued intensely over the paternity of the child during her pregnancy. She insisted it was her boyfriends, make una fear women. She swore she was single. Our calculations showed she was ovulating while we had some encounters. She proceeded to block me on all social media platforms and 2 months later, her friend informed me of her wedding.


The issue here is that I am married with two kids and expecting another, she told me her husband lost his job early 2018 and it has been a very rough patch for her family. she says she wants a divorce.

I asked for the boys pictures and it put instant tears to my eyes. Showed a few friends and the resemblance is striking so they said. The most painful of all, he looks not properly looked after.

I am doing fairly OK now, I wouldn't wanna to see my blood suffer, if you were in my shoes how would you handle this. My wife would not want to hear of another child...

Mature advise please...
ode ordinary pix brought tears to your eyes, so she dumped you to marry a richer man and now the man is broke, the child is suddenly yours, why you men no dey get sense like dis.... even if the child is yours so you wanna destroy your sweet marriage or what I don't understand, mumu say it brought tears ode

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Klass99(f): 7:09pm On Jan 14
MadamExcellency:


In Nigeria, you don't abandon your legitimate offspring.

Is Davido and Wizkid not living in Nigeria with their baby mamas living big off their fathers?

Go to welfare and see how things work in Nigeria.

In the light of Moyo Thomas' case, I am sure that even the Nigerian welfare system will not compel OP to take care of this child - legitimate offspring or not.

People are not going to be very forgiving or understanding of women who behave like Moyo and what OP's ex did is very similar to what Moyo did.

On what basis or justification will the ex even go to welfare office for? She denied that the pregnancy and child was OP's own, blocked him on all her SM platforms, went and got married to another man, pinned that child on that man and now turns around to say OP is the father and you think she has a good case?

Abeg just die this yarn about welfare. Haven't you heard the maxim that he who comes to equity must come with clean hands? Unless those welfare people are biased I don't see them deciding in this woman's favour.

As for Wizkid and co, I honestly do not care about celebrities like them, so I do not bother to keep up with their lives, but from the little I know, their baby mamas did not lie to them, marry other men and pinned those children on the other men, only to do a 180 degree turn later in life, when the going got rough.

If OP's ex can do all she did, she is capable of hard work to take care of her child without OP's help.

2 Likes

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by 2oby: 7:10pm On Jan 14
Commotfornigeri:


I hope in God's name you no follow dey yab women over the DNA issue.

So i should praise them? wt this my story, i dey fear women d more.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by kheny81: 7:11pm On Jan 14
Show her messages to ur wife a d talk it over with her... Make sure she agrees totally before u go fir a DNA test.... If d child is urs oga take am after this procedure or u end up destroying ur home
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by vannessa7(f): 7:13pm On Jan 14
charles009:
Thanks folks, I discussed with her about the paternity test.
She agreed. Will be checking up a few hospitals in Lagos and pricing too.

Will tell wify much later. This has a potential of wrecking my home. I hope it doesn't.

Can I custody the child and atleast my wife wouldn't know, maybe give him to my mum or sister?

You have taken the right step by going for the DNA test, but please don't keep your wife in the dark at all concerning every issue about the child if he turns out to be yours because she will hear it from outside which is worst
For those saying he should forget the child do you know the presence of that child with that wrong father could be the reason the man lost his job and things changed for him, it could be that the child needs to be with his real father or at least the real father should acknowledge him, I know at least three people who impregnated women but denied the pregnancy and after the child was born they received prophecy that they fathered children which they are yet to claim and unless they claim the child they will go down in life, one even died because he was adamant, the law of God concerning illegitimate child is grievous if we care to look into it, being a father to a child you did not sire should be with the consent of all party involve and not because you raised the child, the true father must be acknowledged and if he is not able or willing to take up his responsibility then another can replace him

2 Likes

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Easyincome24: 7:15pm On Jan 14
Were the other guy bouyant or rich, and you in the shoe of the financial status of the man, I doubt the woman will ever open her mouth to tell you this.

Adding an unclaimed child to your young marriage will disrupt the peace you have been enjoying.

Let's accept you made a mistake, let her know you can only support her financially while the child stays with her.

Time heals, when the dust settles, you can tell your wife about this.

But all must be done wisely and never feels you are the man of the house in a matter like this.

For now, this isn't the perfect time because of your wife's condition. The stones are still hot to touch, give it time to cool.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by tarantino1: 7:16pm On Jan 14
Gaddafih001:

You guys are funny..
He has no bragging rights over that son.
He donated spermatozoa and that doesn’t qualify him to be the father..
If I see myself in this situation and you want to claim him,even if I have hundred kids, I will make sure I kill you..
Go ahead and kill him leaving your 99 bastards to beg on the streets. Your problem is with your wife who lied and gave you another man's kid to raise

Mumu
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by stillmaticOG(m): 7:19pm On Jan 14
woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU
Beg her to forgive him for what exactly?

He wasn't dating the wife as at the time the ex got pregnant. Neither did he even know he had a son somewhere all this time.

What he needs to do is explain things to the wife, not beg her. But I trust women, the wife would never accept that boy whole heartedly.

3 Likes

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by tunapawizzy: 7:19pm On Jan 14
Pierocash:
Forget about the child, focus on your family by law he isn't your child.
By DNA nko
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by pek(m): 7:22pm On Jan 14
woleabayo:
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO SIT YOUR WIFE DOWN AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HER AND BEG HER TO FORGIVE YOU
Very sure you either didn't read the story or you didn't comprehend it. Surprised people are even liking it.
Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by Chiquitq(f): 7:38pm On Jan 14
Your choices in your past are very questionable
1. You got entangled with a woman who is capable of pinning another man's son in her husband.
2. You got entangled with a woman who is willing to leave her husband because he lost his job.
3. You got entangled with a woman who was sleeping with at leasr two men at once and still, you did not use protection?
4.You still don't realise that she only confessed because you're doing better than her husband.

1 Like

Re: My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise by baralatie(m): 7:39pm On Jan 14
seasy:
What I want to understand is, if she is divorcing her husband because of the deceit of giving him another man's son or divorcing the husband because he lost his job and things are difficult for her.
she is divorcing the for all the following
husband is broke!
ex is the father of the child.

all of the above and others included

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