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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? (92910 Views)
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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Nobody: 4:23am On Jan 18, 2021 |
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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Riscawendy(f): 4:26am On Jan 18, 2021 |
I think what happens after marriage has something to do with"the law of diminishing marginal utility" where satisfaction is derived at early consumption and less satisfaction for further consumption. Again after child birth, the mother is more concerned with taking care of the baby and the stress that goes with that may not allow her to have sex as before. Also after childbirth the vagina is slightly wider than the pre- delivery size, which may make her enjoy sex less( especially when the man's sexual organ is small) Above all the couple should discuss their feelings and concerns and try to work around it. For me l don't think is an impossible situation, something can be done. |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by innovestor(m): 4:32am On Jan 18, 2021 |
missyblissy: Do not assume all cases are like Nollywood movie as you described. I have two "house helps" to manage chores at home and manage the kids, yet the OP's assertion is still rife. I guess you are not married. Probably you could have given an answer from experience. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Vadese1: 4:42am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Personally this is what is happening to our marriage too. I have been married for 10years now with four kids. This days we hardly engaged in sex. We still love our self very well, but the sex feeling is not just strong as it uses to be when we were still dating or even when we newly got married. Though if you come from this part of the world where everything seems to be the more you look , the less you see, and good enough, God has blessed you with children, honestly the urge for sex after marriage will reduce drastically. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by femmoy(m): 4:49am On Jan 18, 2021 |
CalliDora1: God bless you for speaking out exactly what I'm going through. most times taking care of the kids and house chores can be exhausting,hence the rejection. I'm getting used to it anyway. |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by innovestor(m): 4:58am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Vadese1: You sound like its a mutual loss of sex drive. If this is the case, then perfect for you guys. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by asoderock(m): 5:06am On Jan 18, 2021 |
*SLAVERY OF MEN BY WOMEN* German writer Esther Villar In her book *"The Manipulated Man"* that caused outrage and hostile criticism from women explains how women since the earliest times have manipulated men and turned them into their slaves, they have pretended to be the oppressed sex while in the real sense they are the oppressors. She explains how a woman manipulates a man skillfully by steps like dating, courtship and finally marriage, hence the saying *"a man chases a woman until SHE catches him".* In her book she explains how the man is tricked to care for the woman all his life and her offspring. He rolls the stone like Sisyphus and in turn gets rewarded by a few minutes of sexual pleasure. We can, by observing Esther Villars assertions that a man is a slave of his desires and the woman uses and has used it for thousands of years as a stick and carrot to keep the man chasing vanity and commit his life to serving her. She goes ahead to explain the rivalry of women, how each woman feels the powerful urge and need to own a male for herself. Like a slave owner she detests any move the man would make to offer his services to another woman. She uses all means to keep the man to herself and her offspring alone. Esther Villar's sentiments are captured by Nigerian Poet, critic and writer, Chinweizu Ibekwe in his book, *"The Anatomy of Female Power"* (AFP), and Will Farrel's, *"The Predatory Female*. They all push the theory that all societies are matriarchal and not patriarchal as we are pushed and forced to believe. Matriarchy has ruled not through brawn but wits and tricks; women feigning weakness to be protected etc. Thus the male becomes the most exploited sex in human history, (in wars the man is always ready to die for the woman; he has been trained to do that). Chinweizu calls the idea of dating, courtship, and training, like that of a horse. It is during this time that a woman having kept the man on a leash by denying him sex and getting him addicted to her by false charms, trains and breaks him to whatever she wants him to become. The marriage celebration becomes a celebration for the woman and her friends, and they all congratulate her for having succeeded in getting herself a slave. A man on that wedding day waves goodbye to his independence and his coalition of males and commits himself to a Sisyphean life, rolling the stone, an act he cannot abandon having society and the government checking on him and always ready to jail, shame or exile him for absconding his duties. *Thus, the government and society help the woman in keeping her slave in check.* Chinweizu gives a narration of how women are trained by older matriarchs to tame men. He explains how a man is trained to rely on women by his own mother. A man is shamed by his own mother for cooking for himself and for doing other domestic chores, who herself, is an agent of the global matriarchal rule. By getting the man to hate domestic works and having it enforced by culture which warns men against going into the kitchen, doing laundry etc., the mother trains his son for the other woman, his wife, who will captivate him and when the time comes she takes hold of the man's stomach and by getting the man addicted to her body she holds him by the two, in bed and in the kitchen. With those two weapons she manipulates the man and turns him into her plaything. In the *"Myth of the Male Power"*, Esther Villar's *" A Man's Right to the Other Woman"*; *"The Polygamous Sex"*, the authors of those books challenge the narrative that men oppress women, and by detailed research across African, Western and Eastern both in ancient and modern societies, the authors unravel the hidden power of the ruthless matriarchal power that rules the world. *Presidents, Emperors, Kings and indeed all men, are all puppets of the matriarchy forces that rule the World by pulling the strings from behind the curtains.* *�Man, Take it or Leave it!�* |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by slumcat(m): 5:13am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Hotbutt:Your head no correct. E be like say you no grow for Nigeria. No proper Nigerian brought up person can try that nonsense you wrote in the last paragraph. 1 Like
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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by femi4: 5:15am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Riscawendy:Nice perspective. People blaming it on wife duties forgot that as the children grow older, the woman's duties in the house reduced drastically 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Heroclitus(m): 5:16am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Tajbol4splend: Good evening Sir, I know this is a wrong thing to do,but... I added you from nairaland and my moniker is Heroclitus Please I'm writing this to you with a heavy heart and out of strong necessity since I've run out of options I'm a biochemistry graduate of futa going for nysc tomorrow,I've sorted a whole lot of bills and the only issue left is I'm having just 4,500 naira, I've just been deployed to katsina from Ibadan and its gonna cost me 13000, I'd like if you can assist me with anything to support me Sir Please Or do you know how I can compress files to upload on nairaland here Sir? 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:28am On Jan 18, 2021 |
TruthSeeker1:What is it's demerits |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by slumcat(m): 5:33am On Jan 18, 2021 |
soojar:The most sensible comment so far. Most married still love sex, but just not with their husbands. The reason for this is a whole topic on its own. Are 95% of all the sugar mummies all over Abuja not 'happily' married?. The same married women who complain of tiredness and stress can go for 3 hours non stop in bed when she mets up with a guy she likes. Ahahahaha. Moreover, what percentage of married men are actually good in bed?. How many can really last in bed and satisfy their wives?. Women get tired of the same boring 2 minutes missionary sex. Infact married women are even better in bed than single ladies. But it's the other guy that brings out the freak in her, not the husband. Funny world, really. 5 Likes
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Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:43am On Jan 18, 2021 |
soojar:Lol how do you know that |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:43am On Jan 18, 2021 |
soojar:Your last statement |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:44am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Akasammyoka:Man you have understood that species |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Map1(m): 5:46am On Jan 18, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:I read all your suggestions and I must confess to you that you make a vital point and you are very right from all angles is just a pity we don't have real men anymore the kind of men we paraded now are just kid who failed to realise where they come from even the European we copy with our one man one woman 90% of their marriage are in disarray what are the causes,we fail to ask our self this same goes to us in Africa,it always get to a stage for a man his sexual urge will be high and the sexual urge for the woman will low due to the high rate of work force the woman to through in house chores and if there is no mutual understanding for this it will be the beginning of there sexual problems from there the man will seek for sexual satisfaction else where gone are the days when women gave birth the husband might not touched her for many months to allowed d place to be in better shape not because he is not in the urge but has other wife to performed the responsibility and more so man a polygamous in nature 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:49am On Jan 18, 2021 |
DaRuud:God of heaven see the list o 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Incognito403: 5:50am On Jan 18, 2021 |
CalliDora1:Your first sentence shows proves the OP right. BTW, Yes, na food. I don't believe it's house chores because even the housemaid does all the chores and still serves oga "good food"... regularly. Finally, that house help part. Read previous paragraph for more info. And even when the house help does all the work, experience shows that our women will rather sit with Africa magic that service their husband. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 5:52am On Jan 18, 2021 |
nineone:Men love sex more than women, is a biology, men are designed to be polygamous in nature, do men do menstruation Take care of baby? Men always are ready for it |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by favour32(m): 5:53am On Jan 18, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:Correct guy. Those way some religion cage to marry one wife make them enjoy as their wife nai dey dominant for the marriage. Na the third wife I dey arrange so. Variety na the spice of life. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by UncleKoboko: 5:59am On Jan 18, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:Thank God for Islam |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by UncleKoboko: 6:11am On Jan 18, 2021 |
CalliDora1:Which chores? Na only Una dey do chores? What about a man who leaves his home early in the morning and come back late at night just to put food on the table? I think the problem is selfishness from the wife's side and lack of organization. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by MarthaGlobal: 6:17am On Jan 18, 2021 |
You are wrong about that. Polygamous home is more better than most of these single nagging monogamy marriages. Since you have been reading marital killing, breakups, divorce, etc, the single family do this most. Within a year we do see more than 10 cases of wives or husband that killed their partner or deformed them, mostly all are from single home family not as a result of polygamy. So, don't conclude such. No polygamist go to early grave it's a matter of choice. African's are Hypocreates. You see polygamy as bad omen but gradually embrassing Homosexualism marriage gradually because your slave masters (oyinbo) Said so. Any man that have interest in polygamy should do so. Every body with their opinion. Their is full is shits lies and SCAM in that sex industry called marriage. Only few enjoys it. mariahAngel: |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by trilobite: 6:21am On Jan 18, 2021 |
One word: HYPOCRISY. Many men on Africa don't want to get married to women that are sexually exposed. So women pretend to be sexually dumb in order for the men to take them to the alter. This becomes a problem after marriage when madam who is used to having sex like a IndecentStar but got married by having sex like a village woman cannot tell her now husband she is not sexually satisfied. Sex becomes a chore, and she becomes fed up with only pleasing Oga with time. Then comes the sex time tables, which inevitably drives Oga into the arms of a girl who can do what madam used to do in her youth. The solution is for African men to be sexually open minded when it comes to marriage and communicate with their partners. But we are not ready. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by UncleKoboko: 6:22am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Ilekokonit:Black women or Brown women? Do black people exist? |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Kuns84(m): 6:22am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Cousin9999: Hmm not sure if race plays a factor here. Women generally tend to be the same across all races and cultures. I'm sure there are as much sexually starved black marriages as there are white, asian or interracial. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by akinz4u(m): 6:23am On Jan 18, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:Like DUDE WTF!!! You’re really making me considering polygamy I swear � 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by MummyD2020(f): 6:23am On Jan 18, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1: Easier said than done 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Hassanmaye(m): 6:23am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Mutaultope:How many children do you have |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Onliie(m): 6:24am On Jan 18, 2021 |
banmee:Thanks, this is what I've been waiting for. I will hold this advice in my heart. But I hope it doesn't lead to disrespect and sense of entitlement on her part. Especially if you find yourself unable to help out any longer. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by IHIEGOD: 6:25am On Jan 18, 2021 |
Pretence is the cause, some of women pretend to be satisfied and fake many things in bedroom during sex, some won't tell their husband how they actually like it so that they man won't say they are corrupt or wild so the man thinks he is satisfying the wife and will even brag about it while the woman was not in any way satisfied. Because the man does not do it they way she wants so she looses interest not that they don't like sex after marriage afterall the rate at which women are becoming adulterous these days are so much alarming. |
Re: Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? by Iseoluwa2050(m): 6:27am On Jan 18, 2021 |
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming. For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else. Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology? I will not marry up to such a woman because life is not complete in marriage when there is no Sex, God himself drop Husband heart to his wife and Wife too her heart shall drop up to her Husband when he created ADAM and EVE
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