I created this account to hide my identity. I'm in a very emotional condition at the moment. I've been crying since morning. I've not left my house, not even for church. I've lost the will to live, all because of what happened yesterday evening.

I've been dating this guy for two months. I thought he was a great guy. He was always nice to me, smart and hard-working. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 in University and it was to someone that just wanted to have sex with me. He lied about loving me. All he wanted was sex and when he had his way he abandoned me and dated another girl in my department. Since then I've had a fear of relationships, most importantly of sex. I vowed to only have sex with someone I was going to marry; someone I was certain loved me.

When I met my boyfriend, I thought he was the one. We vibed well and we were both in the same field of work. Everything seemed to click. I opened up to him about my experience and my decision to have sex only when I was ready. He agreed and said he was going to respect my wishes.

Yesterday he visited me at my apartment. This wasn't the first time he was visiting me. We paid each other visits all the time. This time he brought a bottle of wine with him. I prepared food, we both eat and he served us some wine. The last thing I remember is taking few sips and then everything else is blurry.

Next thing I am waking up by 8am this morning with a severe headache, cramped legs and a sore feeling around my vagina. There was something that looked like dried semen on my left thigh and some around my breast. I could also perceive the scent of his perfume on my body. He raped me. The man that claimed to love me raped me. I haven't spoken to anyone since morning, all I've been doing is crying. My phone has been on silent all day.

I want to report him to the police but first I want to look at his face and ask why he would do this to me. I already planned on having sex with him soon. Why couldn't he wait? I want to involve my parents and his parents as well but I don't want this news to spread and take a hit on my reputation. I'm confused about what to do.

Why are men like this? I feel defiled and violated. My mind has been constantly flooded with suicidal thoughts all day. If I make it through this, I'm done with relationships forever.

Why are men like this?

Thats the guy's problem not men.

BTW

Sorry for your plight, that is a terrible experience.

u dey ur house b4 the drugs fly enter ur mouth, lady sorry dat I did not show any empathy!,pls we NL love u stay strong

So sorry about your experience, for you to be having suicidal thoughts that means you are severely depressed from the incidence, I will advise you seek counsel from a psychologist.

Mozino007:
You have already planned....Get d Bleep outta here Bitch!

guy clam down, this is a really sensitive topic!!

Dpsychologist:
Why are men like this?

Thats the guys problem not men.

The only two men I've loved and taken seriously have both betrayed me. I can't trust any man again.

Op You Just Lack Life Expirience.
Don't You Atleast Watch Nollywood Movies?
There Are Lots Of Scenes Like This
To Learn From.
You Are Just A Newbie Into The Dating World.
But It Isnt All Your Fault As You Taught He Was Heaven Sent
Thats Why You Dine With Him.
Just Keep Your Cool And Dont Always Hang Out With Male Friends No Matter How He Flatter And Spoil U With Gift.
Not Untill He Walks U Down The Isle.
Something Similar May Happen To You Again Except You Avoid Men As Much As We Avoid You. Gudluck!

That's the point. Trauma induced decisions. I'm done with relationships forever. He hasn't just had his way, if you make this your resolve, then he also went away with your soul and you're under his spell.


However the grief and pain, we must be careful about the resolutions we make during these moments because those decisions aren't purely ours but what wound influenced us in becoming.




Far from it for me to ever declare support for a rapist. I'm saying it will hurt for a while. Not just the biological advantage he took from you, but the violated trust and betrayal and the deep emotional scars that would occur. I'm merely telling you to not give into the blackmail the hurting process is forcing on you by simply yelling you not to allow the pain determine your essence, womanhood and future.


If we open ourselves to healing to find salve for our battered and wounded souls, life could just surprise us. Who knows.. The acknowledgement of pain and the process that leads to pain may turn around to be the critical ingredient that makes us come into greater revelation and application of ourselves some time later in future.


I hope you find the healing you deserve


Peace.


The Sage

Dear, so sorry for your sad experience, no woman or girl should ever have to go through that horrific experience, after a sexual assault,. It isn't uncommon to be confused or upset,. You may also be angry or scared.. you may not know how to react at all, all these experiences are valid,. Please it is also crucial to confide in someone you can fully trust,. Like a family member or a close friend.. rape is condemnable, there is no excuse for it,. It is an abominable and unjustifiable act,. I think it is finally time that we rise as a nation to condemn and eradicate this despicable act. The severity of the offense of rape cannot be over emphasized,. That so called boyfriend of yours is a monster and must face the full wrath of the law,. He has no conscience for doing what he did to you. Having conscience is what separates man from beasts,. Men who rape women are animals that should not be allowed to roam the streets,. There is simply no excuse for rape.. never has been,. Never will be.. teach that to your sons, and remind yourself everyday!!

Life doesn't seem worth living anymore.

He hasn't even called me to know how I am doing.

I can't believe people are insulting me and blaming me for what happened. I created this thread to get advice and comfort but I'm getting insults. I'm a very emotional person and this isn't helping.

I'm crying all over again just reading some comments. I don't have an alcohol problem and yes I planned on having sex with him soon; when I felt ready, but definitely before marriage. How can you say this is my fault?

Today might be my last day on this earth. Human beings are indeed wicked.

OP, u dont have to report him to any police.

Here is what u will do, try talk to him and ask why he raped u, make sure u have hidden camera or a voice recorder, record everything he said without him knowing it.
Find all those street touts, play the record to them and ask them to do whatever they feel with him, dont feel remorse no matter what happened to him after that.

2nd advice, after recording it, stab him to death, report urself to the police, tell them he tried to rape u again and u killed for self defence. He is already death, they wont take his own statement except the one u recorded, its a win win situation

Only God forgives people, u are not God, but it will be wise to send him to God

MODIFIED
To all those quoting me, u think I give a rat ass about the life of a heartless rapist? If OP was my sister, I'll not even need touts, I'll put a bullet right though his skull

Girl9999 do whatever u want with him.

So unfortunate. Let me tell you, this is not the time to start going suicidal. Killing yourself will not solve anything. It will only malign you forever. Pick yourself up. It's not the end of the world. And if you still feel bruised and used, report to the appropriate authorities. Let them take the matter up from there.
P.S: Don't forget to visit the hospital for PEP.

How ladies always fall for this type of guys remain a mystery to me. Am sure the guy resemble justin bieber na why she fall for am like a pack of cards.

If na me chyke am na she go dey kpono.

Anyways... My condolences.

Rule 1. if you stay alone avoid letting guys know that. Many will try to rape you.

Rule 2. Don't fall for a guy because he's got good looks and sounds romantic, look beyond the physical and you'll see the real him.

Rule 3. You fell for the wrong guy, the signs were there but you choose to ignore it. If vibing together was the only connection you felt with him, then he certainly wasn't the right guy for you. Cos players know how to vibe with different girls, it's what they're good at.

My advice....you can report the case at the police station, the earlier you report the better. The more you delay, the more irrelevant the case would be cos they'll surely ask you why you delayed.

There's no need to involve your parents cos you'll end up making them feel worried. Handle it yourself by reporting to the nearest police station.

And try to be wise, a single girl staying alone should be security conscious. Your doors shouldn't be opened to anyone you come across.

You've learnt your lesson, next time you'll be more careful.

Sorry about what you passed through, but not all men are like that.

If he truly raped you and you're sure, then it's important you go to the nearest hospital and go for a medical checkup and also complain at the police station. What he did was wrong and as a man, that's inexcusable. He didn't have your consent, so he violated you.

Please get closer to God and go into relationships within the confines of the church and make your stand on sex before marriage clear.

It is well dear.

It's a pity

Girl9999:
Life doesn't seem worth living anymore.

He hasn't even called me to know how I am doing.

I can't believe people are insulting me and blaming me for what happened. I created this thread to get advice and comfort but I'm getting insults. I'm a very emotional person and this isn't helping.

I'm crying all over again just reading some comments. I don't have an alcohol problem and yes I planned on having sex with him soon; when I felt ready, but definitely before marriage. How can you say this is my fault?

Today might be my last day on this earth. Human beings are indeed wicked.

Just calm down. Don't do it. Don't let what some stupid people here say get to you. Killing yourself won't solve no problem.

Think about your family. The pain you'd cause them if you do it.


Go to the hospital for tests and then report to the police station if it true.

That's very bad of the guy..

Girl9999:
Life doesn't seem worth living anymore.

He hasn't even called me to know how I am doing.

I can't believe people are insulting me and blaming me for what happened. I created this thread to get advice and comfort but I'm getting insults. I'm a very emotional person and this isn't helping.

I'm crying all over again just reading some comments. I don't have an alcohol problem and yes I planned on having sex with him soon; when I felt ready, but definitely before marriage. How can you say this is my fault?

Today might be my last day on this earth. Human beings are indeed wicked.

I'm really you had to go through that but that's not enough reason to take your life.
Some men sha....

Op, u Bleep up gan, I no say Nah ur type dey always look for fine boys and the one way dey put trouser for yansh, I believe say better guys come you shun dem base on say, you go dey select dey look for Mr cute


Now e don sup, you dey cry, well d guy Bleep up, him no be real niggar and you too Bleep up bcus u dey happy take alcohol


Sorry anything way you wan do, do am because I no know who I go belive make I hear from the guy first, I dey fear women,dey can fabricate lies

Hope you have gone to the hospital Sha, so they can put you on PEP (post exposure prophylaxis) against HIV, and prophylaxis against Other STDs, then contraceptives if it's still within 72hours

Fash20:



Just calm down. Don't do it. Don't let what some stupid people here say get to you. Killing yourself won't solve no problem.

Think about your family. The pain you'd cause them if you do it.


Go to the hospital for tests and then report to the police station if it true.

How you think say police fit judge this case, go police go police she no get evidence


Make she just live the modafucker that is if she dey talk true

life no balance

I really feel your pain. There are places to report this case and you will get justice. Stay alive please and see the reward of the wicked

It's partly your fault, dear.
You told him no sex before marriage.
Now, you're saying you PLANNED to have sex with him, soon.....but before marriage.
You gave him mixed signals.
Girls should learn to come clean.
It's very difficult for a guy to agree to a no - sex relationship, when you already told him you're not a virgin anymore.

ozodigboo:
It's partly your fault, dear.
You told him no sex before marriage.
Now, you're saying you PLANNED to have sex with him, soon.....but before marriage.
You gave him mixed signals.
Girls should learn to come clean.
It's very difficult for a guy to agree to a no - sex relationship, when you already told him you're not a virgin anymore.

I never told him no sex until marriage. I told him about my experience in University and we both agreed to have sex when I was ready; when I was emotionally prepared. We are just two months into the relationship.