₦airaland Forum

Mindlog:
"We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40"...Still imagining the Pastors doing the counselling, counselling a married couple or 2 people co-habiting? If it were professional therapists no issue with co-habitation but Pastors?

I'm sure it is marriage counselling and they wouldn't dare tell the pastor they are cohabiting.

Iamafinegirl:
I don’t keep screenshots of years ago like you because love forgives and don’t hold to offense of years
Where you have equally called me “demonic”, stupid, very stupid etc, in need of psychatric etc. But heaven witnesses those ones and you too you know so I am not bothered.
Did you tell them I don’t care but I wash your underwears? your boxers as I should for a husband? Your inner wears too regularly?

Did you tell them the day I said “what is my business”. You said you won’t eat the stew at home it’s affecting you and out of immediate concern. I said “how” and you squeezed your face like I was stressing you to answer or something n I was wondering why you should be angry I asked how. When you said it’s causing ulcer or stomach pain, I said ah ah is that why you squeezed your face like it’s a big deal to answer something that simple and you said “you don’t want me to have a different opinion” without you even telling me what the problem is first before u would see whether I had another viewpoint to share. Is it wrong to share viewpoints ?
I tire ooooo
At best I would have said ah...d stew has so much pepper like Dt? Or ah are you sure it’s the stew really causing it” or maybe it’s something else?
I was hurt so I said is it not out of care or love, I am asking you how stew is affecting you. Like if not for love care togetherness is it not just going to be “your business”?
The Person wey have ulcer still go dey chop fried akara and I was telling him in addition you have ulcer and you are eating fried things haba....who doesn’t know fried things increase ulcer too but me I don’t fight on opinions since he was enjoying it, I also didn’t stop him becuase if I did it would be fight ooo that I am stopping him from eating d akara.

Be telling stories fully pls. You have been lying to me from beginning of relationship and it’s sad you would still cover the full process of an event for you to feel good or to blame me as it would make you happy.
This is the same person who has never bothered about your health?

Those are the things uncle would see as arguement ooooo....haaa....I never knew comments simple so far it’s different from what he feels is an offense ooo.
The thing d weak me
All you picked from that discussion is that I said it’s “your business”. You refused to look at the whole story that lead to comment. You just pick something n hold to it as a way of avoiding the real problems and it’s toxic to be honest.

Did you also tell that that for about a year in the relationship you earned 67-73% more than me and that was even roughly the one year you invited me to stay with you Or you suddenly forgot and decided to just be throwing blames on me or you forgot you did because you are feeling so bitter.
You got so angry you couldn’t manage your finances and you were angry I had better financial management because you give money to side chicks as I later learnt so you would get angry and started looking for ways I could lessen your original bills you were paying / had before I came sef like pay part of ur dstv etc. Tv I rarely watch. And the one I was doing was never enough, I would go market spend and write down my spending so u see everything and amount since you complain. When you started seeing I was making account on the cost you started saying I am altering the figures? Alter how much for what for God sake?
Why do you like fight so much like this.

My take, you really should be conscious of your words. You really insulted him. If you can't be in a relationship just say no. If he's too petty, just leave him. Tell him it's over and walk away. Were you forced? You can't change anyone. Words said can't be unsaid.

I always tell women (and men), stop the insult especially someone you call a lover. Even if you get sharp mouth, never insult. If you can't tolerate it, tell your spouse its over. Its a form of abuse.

For me, your bf sounds petty, totaling and sharing things like 500 naira and 300 naira....well maybe he feels you have to contribute in a way and you're not so he's ready to go down with you.

Honestly you both need some serious thinking to do....not as a couple but as individuals.

And for your future relationships, try to contribute without being asked. That 300 naira banana of goat meat pepper soup or fruit you got when returning without even asking your partner for cash especially when you have it will be so sweet and earn you more cash and goodies.

I wish you guys the best

I read what the girl in question wrote and I tend to think she is more intelligent and more mature than the guy. We don't sit down and start sharing expenses at home. We do our beat dilligently and lovingly. And when one sees that the other is down she supports. Wife sees there is no salt and she has money she buys. She is passing and sees good meat, she buys. I go to the mall I see pizza, I buy. I give heavily. Wife knows. She reminds me of immediate responsibility. When I forget and over reach she fills the gap. We never sit down to discuss what anyone contributes. Never. So reorient ate yourselves. The guy particularly, work on your esteem. My I cent.

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

am telling you the deep truth

If you marry her, you would regret it. Both of you are not compatible

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

With all these glaring incidences, I think a wise person knows what to do or ought to do.

You want to show you are a man. Alright, let her keep milking you, you allowed it.

It's always a problem when one want to win every argument in a relationship.

You people can still work things out if you admit to your differences. Level of Education or exposure doesn't determine success of any relationship.

Even thou its not possible not to quarrel but by understanding what your partner dos and don't s you live a better life.

Most importantly when God is involved there is always an assurance of success. Put everything in God's hand. if He wants you together even thou you are parted today you will still come together. It happened to one of my school mate in the University then. They separated after some Years they ended up marrying each other.

So, let God's will be done. Wish you people all the best.

Iamafinegirl:
I don’t keep screenshots of years ago like you because love forgives and don’t hold to offense of years
Where you have equally called me “demonic”, stupid, very stupid etc, in need of psychatric etc. But heaven witnesses those ones and you too you know so I am not bothered.
Did you tell them I don’t care but I wash your underwears? your boxers as I should for a husband? Your inner wears too regularly?

Did you tell them the day I said “what is my business”. You said you won’t eat the stew at home it’s affecting you and out of immediate concern. I said “how” and you squeezed your face like I was stressing you to answer or something n I was wondering why you should be angry I asked how. When you said it’s causing ulcer or stomach pain, I said ah ah is that why you squeezed your face like it’s a big deal to answer something that simple and you said “you don’t want me to have a different opinion” without you even telling me what the problem is first before u would see whether I had another viewpoint to share. Is it wrong to share viewpoints ?
I tire ooooo
At best I would have said ah...d stew has so much pepper like Dt? Or ah are you sure it’s the stew really causing it” or maybe it’s something else?
I was hurt so I said is it not out of care or love, I am asking you how stew is affecting you. Like if not for love care togetherness is it not just going to be “your business”?
The Person wey have ulcer still go dey chop fried akara and I was telling him in addition you have ulcer and you are eating fried things haba....who doesn’t know fried things increase ulcer too but me I don’t fight on opinions since he was enjoying it, I also didn’t stop him becuase if I did it would be fight ooo that I am stopping him from eating d akara.

Be telling stories fully pls. You have been lying to me from beginning of relationship and it’s sad you would still cover the full process of an event for you to feel good or to blame me as it would make you happy.
This is the same person who has never bothered about your health?

Those are the things uncle would see as arguement ooooo....haaa....I never knew comments simple so far it’s different from what he feels is an offense ooo.
The thing d weak me
All you picked from that discussion is that I said it’s “your business”. You refused to look at the whole story that lead to comment. You just pick something n hold to it as a way of avoiding the real problems and it’s toxic to be honest.

Did you also tell that that for about a year in the relationship you earned 67-73% more than me and that was even roughly the one year you invited me to stay with you Or you suddenly forgot and decided to just be throwing blames on me or you forgot you did because you are feeling so bitter.
You got so angry you couldn’t manage your finances and you were angry I had better financial management because you give money to side chicks as I later learnt so you would get angry and started looking for ways I could lessen your original bills you were paying / had before I came sef like pay part of ur dstv etc. Tv I rarely watch. And the one I was doing was never enough, I would go market spend and write down my spending so u see everything and amount since you complain. When you started seeing I was making account on the cost you started saying I am altering the figures? Alter how much for what for God sake?
Why do you like fight so much like this.

I have never had any side chick because my system is naturally not wired for that. And I don't give money to any side chick, so if you like lie on me, it is your style to do that.
This girl has a natural mindset to always disagree with anything anyone says.
When I said I wasn't going to eat the stew because of the ulcer at that time, I knew you were about to argue, that's why I squeezed my face. So the right thing to do because I squeezed my face was to say it's not your business that I have ulcer.
It is so bad to the point that anything you say must be argued about.
A typical example is when we were talking about the distance between one state and the other. Audience help me look at this thing oo. if you want to calculate time it takes to cover a distance between one state to another, do you calculate from the time you leave that state to the time you get to the other state, or you calculate from the time you leave your house in one state to the time you get to your house in the other state?
I believe every body knows that you calculate from the time you leave one state to the time you reach the other state.
A random person can just ask you, how long from Kogi to Ondo, will you start describing where your house is in ondo or you will just tell the person the time it takes from kogi to Ondo and not time it takes to your house in Ondo. Unnecessary arguments that is void of logic and reasoning.
If one says good morning and every one can clearly see that it is morning, this girl can say it is night and will keep arguing about it. If you tell her not to say it is night, she will say you don't want her to air her opinion.
You say I don't manage my finances, after you keep your own and I use my own to maintain the house, and you don't consider that because all you want to believe is that I don't manage my finances.
Go and buy all the things I have in both of my houses then check your expenditure and see how much it costs.

Ok that chat is quite recent and I think I explained already why I said “you no dey understand English” Cus you said I should send all my contribution to your younger sister account and you would send only some to her while you keep your remaining to do stuff on your side because you don’t trust me financially in ur words so I must submit “all” my contribution to her for her to be dishing out money for feeding and all to me who is the one working since joint account couldn’t be open due to your license that had to be renewed.
In the chat I was saying so u want me to give “all” to her and you would be keeping your own “some” because ofcourse it’s stressful to be typing “all the contribution” everytime since he already should understand the context of what we were talking about or chatting about already.
That’s how uncle changed d topic entirely to that me I said he said “I should give all my salary to her”. I was confused.
How would your younger sister be our financial manager in our own home?
I told her and she said she doesn’t want to be sef as it doesn’t make sense?
When your account wasn’t opened I said you can hold the contributions since u don’t trust me with money or you can give me to hold. That’s what I meant by any account.
I didn’t know I have become so nothing in your eyes that I must submit my income to ur younger sister so she can monitor me when you are not in the house ooo. you still want her to be the one controlling your wife’s spending etc. Yet me and the younger sister had been chilling, eating out etc having fun and he carry our matter put for head for where he dey.

I have to explain every English I speak becuase you would just pick one line hold it and fight because it wld serve as a good defense for u. Nawa o

Iamafinegirl:
Ok that chat is quite recent and I think I explained already why I said “you no dey understand English” Cus you said I should send all my contribution to your younger sister account and you would send only some to her while you keep your remaining to do stuff on your side because you don’t trust me financially in ur words so I must submit my “all” my contribution to her for her to be dishing out money for feeding and all to me who is the one working since joint account couldn’t be open.
In the chat I was saying so u want me to give “all” to her and you keep “some” because ofcourse it’s stressful to be tying “ all the contribution “everytime” since he already should understand what we talking about
That’s how uncle changed d topic entirely to that me I said he said “I should give all my salary to her”.
How would your younger sister be our financial manager in your own home.
I told her and she said she doesn’t want to be sef as it doesn’t make sense?
When your account wasn’t opened I said you can hold the contributions since u don’t trust me with money or you can give me to hold. That’s what I meant by any account.
I didn’t know I have become so nothing in your eyes that I must submit my income to ur younger sister so she can monitor me when you are not in the house ooo you still want her to be the one controlling your wife’s spending etc. Yet me and the younger sister had been chilling, eating out etc having fun and he carry our matter put for head for where he dey.

It is OK. You're prolonging this talk. Both of you are not compatible and no level of understanding can make you guys marry. Marriage is a doom disaster if you two ever venture into it.

Quit with the episode of who is right or wrong. You both are wrong , nobody is right. See way house bill responsibilities are shared like government work with no love.

Na waaa o. This one pass me.

bwambasolomon:
I have never had any side chick because my system is naturally not wired for that. And I don't give money to any side chick, so if you like lie on me, it is your style to do that.
This girl has a natural mindset to always disagree with anything anyone says.
When I said I wasn't going to eat the stew because of the ulcer at that time, I knew you were about to argue, that's why I squeezed my face. So the right thing to do because I squeezed my face was to say it's not your business that I have ulcer.
It is so bad to the point that anything you say must be argued about.
A typical example is when we were talking about the distance between one state and the other. Audience help me look at this thing oo. if you want to calculate time it takes to cover a distance between one state to another, do you calculate from the time you leave that state to the time you get to the other state, or you calculate from the time you leave your house in one state to the time you get to your house in the other state?
I believe every body knows that you calculate from the time you leave one state to the time you reach the other state.
A random person can just ask you, how long from Kogi to Ondo, will you start describing where your house is in ondo or you will just tell the person the time it takes from kogi to Ondo and not time it takes to your house in Ondo. Unnecessary arguments that is void of logic and reasoning.
If one says good morning and every one can clearly see that it is morning, this girl can say it is night and will keep arguing about it. If you tell her not to say it is night, she will say you don't want her to air her opinion.
You say I don't manage my finances, after you keep your own and I use my own to maintain the house, and you don't consider that because all you want to believe is that I don't manage my finances.
Go and buy all the things I have in both of my houses then check your expenditure and see how much it costs.

Financial management is knowing what to buy when and when not. Like the spiritual pigeons you bought three for 150k was waste of money and not necessary bit I didn’t even complain because it would be fight all I said is I don’t need any bird for goodwill etc and whatever God himself cannot do for me or give me I do not want in this life and I have never gone near them. Pigeons your gate man said isnt less than 8k. One even ran away so 50k was lost. Examples of the wastes....new tv wasn’t necessary and I told you. More so I don’t watch tv so you and I know you didn’t buy it for me but your family that was around then. You don’t spend on things not important and be asking where your money flew to and why others have done more than you have. You buy this gnlg supplements of 250k or so that good fruit habit can give you and I never complain as it’s good for your health and if you want it, it’s fine but I never touch it sef before I go hear insult tomro or percentage to balance you since I dared touch it. But you would come and stand on my head to finance your 5 square meals etc and be complaining despite I still bring contribute because that’s what I am taught from my house. D months there was no income on both sides and I had or made small money we would go to market together with the small extra income I made and then love was sweet ko.
The babe you were arguing with for disrespecting you after being nice and sweet to her and you asking her for her friend is what? And sending dem money too.
Or the ones you were arranging and scrutinising their pics to know which has the proper shape and size you would send and contract your boss is what

bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

You're not only petty, you're also a Nag! Nag! Nag!
I wonder how she was able to put up with you and all your complaints all these while...

bwambasolomon:
I have never had any side chick because my system is naturally not wired for that. And I don't give money to any side chick, so if you like lie on me, it is your style to do that.
This girl has a natural mindset to always disagree with anything anyone says.
When I said I wasn't going to eat the stew because of the ulcer at that time, I knew you were about to argue, that's why I squeezed my face. So the right thing to do because I squeezed my face was to say it's not your business that I have ulcer.
It is so bad to the point that anything you say must be argued about.
A typical example is when we were talking about the distance between one state and the other. Audience help me look at this thing oo. if you want to calculate time it takes to cover a distance between one state to another, do you calculate from the time you leave that state to the time you get to the other state, or you calculate from the time you leave your house in one state to the time you get to your house in the other state?
I believe every body knows that you calculate from the time you leave one state to the time you reach the other state.
A random person can just ask you, how long from Kogi to Ondo, will you start describing where your house is in ondo or you will just tell the person the time it takes from kogi to Ondo and not time it takes to your house in Ondo. Unnecessary arguments that is void of logic and reasoning.
If one says good morning and every one can clearly see that it is morning, this girl can say it is night and will keep arguing about it. If you tell her not to say it is night, she will say you don't want her to air her opinion.
You say I don't manage my finances, after you keep your own and I use my own to maintain the house, and you don't consider that because all you want to believe is that I don't manage my finances.
Go and buy all the things I have in both of my houses then check your expenditure and see how much it costs.

Bros bringing relationship issues to Nairaland is one thing I wouldn't have advised because the truth is an average working class man is already a better counsel to himself than 80% of the opinions you would get here which would be dominated by teenagers & worse-off responders.

Your situation with your woman wasn't ideal but it was manageable before you brought it here but as expected it has since escalated as does most relationship issues that find it's way to this platform.

It's not my place to advise you to fight for your relationship but at least be smart enough to not continue to dance naked to the glee of thrill seekers here. You decide it's over; fine, but don't go burning bridges irreplaceably or tainting memories if not for yourself alone but also for the relationship built between families.

Frankly your lady doesn't appear a bad person to me but maybe there's a personality mismatch between you two. Don't know if the age gap is too small or it just the upbringings and/or exposures but the two of you just haven't seemed to mix. She for one hasn't seemed to show she's willing to submit to you &/or have you have the last word and you yourself have been petty enough to be competing to.

It's unfortunate as it wouldn't have cost you guys much to just make adjustments to make things work but apparently that's not a priority for una.
Sad but at least you guys can part as amicably as possible.

Iamafinegirl:
Ok that chat is quite recent and I think I explained already why I said “you no dey understand English” Cus you said I should send all my contribution to your younger sister account and you would send only some to her while you keep your remaining to do stuff on your side because you don’t trust me financially in ur words so I must submit “all” my contribution to her for her to be dishing out money for feeding and all to me who is the one working since joint account couldn’t be open due to your license that had to be renewed.
In the chat I was saying so u want me to give “all” to her and you would be keeping your own “some” because ofcourse it’s stressful to be typing “all the contribution” everytime since he already should understand the context of what we were talking about or chatting about already.
That’s how uncle changed d topic entirely to that me I said he said “I should give all my salary to her”. I was confused.
How would your younger sister be our financial manager in our own home?
I told her and she said she doesn’t want to be sef as it doesn’t make sense?
When your account wasn’t opened I said you can hold the contributions since u don’t trust me with money or you can give me to hold. That’s what I meant by any account.
I didn’t know I have become so nothing in your eyes that I must submit my income to ur younger sister so she can monitor me when you are not in the house ooo. you still want her to be the one controlling your wife’s spending etc. Yet me and the younger sister had been chilling, eating out etc having fun and he carry our matter put for head for where he dey.

I have to explain every English I speak becuase you would just pick one line hold it and fight because it wld serve as a good defense for u. Nawa o

He is a nag and he is petty and you are a very rude and quite arrogant.... Just leave each other alone. Let everyone work on themselves. We all learn and grow from our mistakes.

Plans B and C won't spend money.

CaveAdullam:
Even if you break up with her, she still won the game because she has benefited greatly from the parasitic relationship you willingly and consciously accepted to be the robust host.
I'm not in great doubt, I'm very sure she has plan B, C... on the row that she can swing to when you eventually decide to put a halt to the relationship.

It is difficult for you to break up because you've fallen victim to the sunk cost fallacy: " I have spent and done so much in this relationship, if I should exit now it will not be too beneficial. Let me wait a little longer maybe things will change for the better, after all patience is needed in any relationship". This fallacy you proved greatly by seeking a pastor/counsellor.

Another rope still anchoring you to such catastrophic relationship is the "illusion of sex". Despite your great contributions she still dangles the carrot before your eyes, satisfying you with empty romance. Here, she truly discovered your vulnerabilities and exploited it to the fullest. (Except she's a virgin and of which you've physically determined to be true). If not, your simping knows no limit. Even if she's a virgin, that doesn't guarantee your typical foolishness in the relationship. Who knows if she's not giving it out freely to one alpha player.

My friend, elevate and look pass the sunk cost fallacy and put a away the bait of sex aside. Even if the sex is later granted it still won't worth the wait or the expenses you've incurred. Sex at this time will be a useful method to keep you in her tenterhooks. So, braze up and get out of that relationship. Let her exit your house and take all your belongings to your present location.

In any relationship, the one with power is the one with little investments. Let a woman show genuine desire for you and choose you and she will greatly invest in such relationship.

Let go off that leech!

Thanks.

[quote author=bwambasolomon post=99617183][/quote]What?? Thief? Nooooo way! Bro, steer clear.

[quote author=bwambasolomon post=99602587][/quote]You dodged a bullet.

bwambasolomon:
You clearly don't have sense, cos you should know that I am not your regular class of guy, I am way beyond that, if I were to tell you what I earn monthly, you will begin to postrate for me. How can I be the one with the problem when I was just trying to make a good husband until I discovered the girl was an ingrate who won't appreciateb nything you do for her. It's best you don't say anything than to say something that is completely off point from the main topic. I bet you, you can't stand where I stand, so you better watch your words.

Even from your manner of your reply shows that you don't have no manners, you are uncouth and not properly given good home training.

You can talk to me a stranger in such manner, how much more someone in your life

Better get your self sorted out and seek for change and betterment or else na same story

You talk about levels, you still dey collect salary, me I pay salaries every month.

.

Both of you seem to have ur own individual issue. Going ur separate ways was the best decision ever cos if una marry eh with all this nagging and complain Upandan the marriage might not last..

you guys are still exposing each other... are u trying to entertain us? pls settle this amicably... pretend as if none on this platform supported you, both of you are at fault and need to settle matters privately as adults because problems will still come even if you don't end up with each other... You guys are not even married... call the other and take or walk or go to a relaxed place, remind her of what attracted you to her so much that you'll buy her fuel and pizza late at night, remind her what you lover so much about her that made you keep asking her out despite continued hesitation... keep ego aside and forget all the insults and her accusations aside, be humble as a man, simply tell her what you don't like in a MILD manner, gracious manner as you'd like to be spoken to... TAKE THE LEAD in settling this matter and apologize if you can... listen to her without argument or interruption and discuss how to make things work with sacrifice and be truthful

Neither of you have mentioned ONE good quality or what you love about each other, not even one. Both are contributing financially but you make us see you both as selfish and stingy... You're like two persons trying to sail the same ship individually, you're not a team.

You've both hurt each other, you've hurt her so much and you've hurt him so much but you don't seem to feel it cos you're looking at your own injury which is quite sad, try to see how you can heal each other...

Pls stop exposing each other here, we wish you all YOU WISH EACH OTHER

kaboninc:
My take, you really should be conscious of your words. You really insulted him. If you can't be in a relationship just say no. If he's too petty, just leave him. Tell him it's over and walk away. Were you forced? You can't change anyone. Words said can't be unsaid.

I always tell women (and men), stop the insult especially someone you call a lover. Even if you get sharp mouth, never insult. If you can't tolerate it, tell your spouse its over. Its a form of abuse.

For me, your bf sounds petty, totaling and sharing things like 500 naira and 300 naira....well maybe he feels you have to contribute in a way and you're not so he's ready to go down with you.

Honestly you both need some serious thinking to do....not as a couple but as individuals.

And for your future relationships, try to contribute without being asked. That 300 naira banana of goat meat pepper soup or fruit you got when returning without even asking your partner for cash especially when you have it will be so sweet and earn you more cash and goodies.

I wish you guys the best

For your information, I never totalled 700, 300 and so on. God knows I never did, I just happened to have a liar for a fiance. Go through the screenshots, you will see where I was asking her when I totalled, 700 or 300. I was asking her for money of somethings I paid for which I didn't give to her voluntarily, I only paid with the intention that she would pay me back, when I asked it became a problem. Note that there were some I didn't ask her to pay back.
During this period, prior to the chat you see above, anytime we go out to get something she needed for herself, it's when we get to the point of payment that she will say "I forgot my cash at home, or I left my atm card at home." Then I'll pay the bills. It happened more than 20 times. So one day, I asked her why she was always leaving her cash or atm at home? That day na fight we take end am.

djon78:
Even from your manner of your reply shows that you don't have no manners, you are uncouth and not properly given good home training.

You can talk to me a stranger in such manner, how much more someone in your life

Better get your self sorted out and seek for change and betterment or else na same story

You talk about levels, you still dey collect salary, me I pay salaries every month.

You pay people salary, so what? Does Buhari or Osinbanjo not collect salary? I have more manners than your whole family combined. If you think you can just come and spew rubbish because someone brought issue for you to comment on, then you are talking to the wrong person. I repeat, you can't stand where I stand, so it's better you watch your tongue.

TypicallyBrunt:
Bros bringing relationship issues to Nairaland is one thing I wouldn't have advised because the truth is an average working class man is already a better counsel to himself than 80% of the opinions you would get here which would be dominated by teenagers & worse off responders.

Your situation with your woman wasn't ideal but it was manageable before you brought it here but as expected it has since escalated as does most relationship issues that finds it's way to this platform.

It's not my place to advise you to fight for your relationship or not but at least be smart enough to not continue to dance naked to the glee of thrill seekers here. You decide it's over, fine, but don't go burning bridges irreplaceably or tainting memories if not for yourself alone but also for the relationship built between families.

Frankly your lady doesn't appear a bad person to me but maybe there's a personality mismatch between you two. Don't know if the age gap is too small or it just the upbringings and/or exposures but the two of your just haven't seemed to mix. She for one hasn't seemed to show she's willing to submit to you &/or have you have the last word and you yourself have been petty enough to be competing to.

It's unfortunate as it wouldn't have cost you guys much to just make adjustments to make things work but apparently that's not a priority for una.
Sad but at least you guys can part as amicably as possible.

I wasn't the one who brought the relationship issue here, she did. She was then sending me responses of those who were blaming me. I never went to her post to comment, I simply went to my own account and told my own side of the story, and sent her people's response. Of course everybody was blaming her. She now left her own post and came to my own oo.

Goldbw122:
Her type want to waste your resources and leave you dry, she is not a material wife, find someone that can save your money and make your life like heaven not hell.. simple.

Read her own side on the first page then come back to edit your comment. The OP gangan is the waster of resources. He took a loan of 14m that he couldn't account for and he's the "angel" here? Na wa!

bwambasolomon:
You pay people salary, so what? Does Buhari or Osinbanjo not collect salary? I have more manners than your whole family combined. If you think you can just come and spew rubbish because someone brought issue for you to comment on, then you are talking to the wrong person. I repeat, you can't stand where I stand, so it's better you watch your tongue.

Empty vessels makes the most sound


Even Jeff bezos or Bill Gates that are worth substance are humble talkless of someone that ain't even seen anything in life

More grease to your elbow

This is my last reply to you

bwambasolomon:
For your information, I never totalled 700, 300 and so on. God knows I never did, I just happened to have a liar for a fiance. Go through the screenshots, you will see where I was asking her when I totalled, 700 or 300. I was asking her for money of somethings I paid for which I didn't give to her voluntarily, I only paid with the intention that she would pay me back, when I asked it became a problem. Note that there were some I didn't ask her to pay back.
During this period, prior to the chat you see above, anytime we go out to get something she needed for herself, it's when we get to the point of payment that she will say "I forgot my cash at home, or I left my atm card at home." Then I'll pay the bills. It happened more than 20 times. So one day, I asked her why she was always leaving her cash or atm at home? That day na fight we take end am.

Did mai ruwa come to d house a day there was no water and it was you and your sis at home and you gave Mai ruwa 500 naira that day and I came back to learn you guys bought water which has never ever happened before and I ofcourse had to submit my 250 share when I returned?
Even your sis not working said she would have paid that day if she knew it would have been issue.
So before God and man you don’t total 200,300,400. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
Even heaven is weighing this lie....
No be you tell counsellor you have never insulted me and you were even saying true to God and I listed them for you in his front all hot hot even to my father wey u insult and you had to try and change mouth and same “emmm....”
So much more lies i now know but I can’t talk because others r concerned and I don’t need you to start keeping malice with them too Cus na wetin you go commence immediately as it’s in your nature to fight, keep malice etc.
Lies from beginning, lies through the relationship, lies at the end too

You are still coming to Nairaland to fight with strangers haba!!! And boasting of your resources in addition
Despite fighting with most people or your colleagues at work and being petty over little things they said that one should not even remember as you are entering their car. You hold on to them for years to come and it’s not good.

mariahAngel:
You're not only petty, you're also a Nag! Nag! Nag!
I wonder how she was able to put up with you and all your complaints all these while...

had it been there was chemistry from the onset, all these pettiness and this and that would not have been an issue

Iamafinegirl:
Heaven bears me witness this are facts
Like I said he shld respond to d one that it’s a lie inside except he wants to lie.
I don’t know why simple conversations become so much huge problems. First time I experienced this in my whole life. With d first class God gave me in school and being a graduate of imperial college London, I could never pin point why so much drama and issues on what shouldn’t be an issue

Everything you have said is a lie. U don't wash my boxers, I wash them myself!
You insulted me by calling me a drunkard, and I responded immediately by saying your father is the drunkard, did you tell them that?
Mai ruwa that came to the house to drop water,, that was part of expenditures in the house which pastor had said we should contribute on a 60-40 basis. I calculated cost of Mai ruwa, the camera guy's workmanship, and generator fuel money and gave you the total so we share on a 60-40 basis as we had agreed when pastor proposed it. So why did it now become a problem after you had agreed?
In fact, to cut the long story short, the only reason why this relationship has made its way to nairaland is because you had been mandated to bear 40% of all expenditures in the house, all these while that I was the one doing everything, nobody heard us.

Iamafinegirl better run for your life and sanity... 150k spiritual pigeon 250k GNLD fakass drugs... Babe what are you still waiting for?? Dust your shoes and leave the onku abeg

Iamafinegirl:
Nope. I was a virgin waiting to Bleep only him as we were planing a wedding this year.
I was scared he would use and dump me like most men do

Girl "was" a virgin when simp met her. So Simp agreed to no sex.
So you disvirgined with another guy? Not OP.


OP Simplison come and see your bride is no more a virgin o. Another dude don swim there. Happly washing of car

Reason I Bleep girls nicely or discard stubborn ones without wasting time.