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I Broke Up With Her - Family (16) - Nairaland

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I Broke Up With My Husband Because He Refused To Do Frog Jump-cossy Orjiafor / I Broke Up With Her Because Of Bleaching / I Broke Up With My Girl (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Broke Up With Her by SmellingAnus(m): 8:17pm On Mar 04
dollytino4real:
some girls too dey, dey greedy with all their things, money tohtoh too sef!
hahhahaha me no want girls wey dey selfish/greedy with all her things o cheesy cheesy but na true you talk
Re: I Broke Up With Her by dollytino4real(f): 8:23pm On Mar 04
SmellingAnus:
hahhahaha me no want girls wey dey selfish/greedy with all her things o cheesy cheesy but na true you talk
i say the truth nothing but the truth my dear
Re: I Broke Up With Her by KenModi(m): 8:26pm On Mar 04
bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

Stop being a simp!

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by sisisioge: 8:37pm On Mar 04
Hmmmm....this is kinda sad. You two loved each other until misunderstanding about money and other trivial issues crept in. You know you could have just been calmer when discussing the whole thing? And it's just the two of you o....children, the ultimate consumers of funds, have not joined you.

Aunty, how could you expect a guy that earns same as you to foot the entire bill at home just cos your daddy was the bread winner? Do you think if your mom earns same amount as he does he would be happy to be the spender while mama be the saver? Really, the world have moved ahead.

Brother, how could you be dragging small amounts with her like shes your sister? You paid 700 o and so you want it back...chai! You do know that while we are catching up with the west on splitting bills, we still got a long way coming. If you were man enough to house another human then you should be awaken to the huge responsibility attached. If she were your sister, brother, friend, mother...will you be charging them transport fare for visiting your new abode with you in this naija?

For the sake of the future, biko lay all your cards on the table regarding expectations before getting serious. If the new interest is not ready to share bills biko move along. EOD
Re: I Broke Up With Her by fertilewomb: 8:44pm On Mar 04
bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

Pls and Pls never you go into marriage with that lady, it's obvious you guys are not compatible. If you turn a deaf ear and plunge into marriage with her, separation or divorce is inevitable. Let her go! I repeat let her go
Re: I Broke Up With Her by EmmyG98(m): 8:56pm On Mar 04
Both of you should be ashamed of yourself... do you even realize that you're making things worse, adding heat to anger
What I see here is an overly emotional man trying to get a woman who does not respect him or trying to fight for more respect... does not know how to manage his finances and holds on to grudges like a parasite, why do you ask us for advice sef...
There is gross misunderstanding between you too and I wonder how you'll cope after marriage and when the kids come, the woman will insist you enrol them to the most expensive school for quality and you're not even reasonable... trying to act like a man when you're not for a self-vindicative woman who does not even love you, she's just managing you.

Yes, tell us the truth about the condoms, the smoking and the drinking part

The kind woman sef, I fear you o... I fear you big time, you said 'you're not serious is not an insult' but what about beggarly and thief you call him... that's demeaning... if a woman you love so much to the point of asking your boss n colleagues to convince her even buying her pizza at night calls you a thief and beggar, it's similar to a sword piercing through your soul....
But she said he called her demonic, stupid
At what point did your love began to cool that you'll start acting like foolish children, you're both very immature and u want to enter marriage

Look, my dream n best wish is that you both get happy again, find that wisdom n maturity to fix the problems as a TEAM, learn from it, apologize and move on....

Shame on you both.... you're both at fault so you fix it or u seek help

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Broke Up With Her by themanderon: 9:10pm On Mar 04
You both should Go your separate ways. Una wahala too much. You both are simply not compatible. Period.
Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 9:39pm On Mar 04
Jmw2kblogposts:
I don't know why i'm always bumping into you here but thats not the problem, the real problem here is that i always bump into you saying your usual shit!
You are not even attentive at all sis, a man is up there crying out on why he had to end a relationship he cherished so much because of the useless brain wirery of the woman he fell in love with and you here focusing on the fact that some women won't tolerate physical violence? Is this your feminism? even your fellow women are picking up good reasons for the lady in question to be at fault and you are here obviously portraying your usual MISANDRIST FEMINISM? did you even have to say something? who told you "she go collect" necessarilly meant a threat of physical violence?
You are deranged! How could you just go out of point because you want light out your feminism? JEEZ!
Your sadness is my joy, may you keep bumping into my posts

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by chyb1pro: 9:47pm On Mar 04
Wooooaw, I've been on this thread for the past hours. I can very well relate to the issues you people are having, I courted my wife for four years during which time she was living with me before we finally got married last year. The greatest lesson I learnt in my five year of relationship are:

1. Women talk without consideration, and most times out of emotion without logic.
2. Men that women consider as good husbands are the ones that are cosmetic with them I.e those men who do not genuinely have affection for them but pretend to have, in this case he don't even pay attention to her details not to mention recognizing when she's talking back, this is why guys that maltreat ladies always have them available all the time, they will even be fighting to get a space in the guy's place.

MY ADVISE TO THE LADY:
No matter how much you love a man or care for him, HARSH WORDS to the heart of a man especially when its coming from someone they cherish most is like a drop of kerosene in a pot of soup. If you ever want a man in your life, learn how to be diplomatic in talks. Even though you are right, the manner and approach you use is what matters. If you ever want to live happily with a well to do man, SOFT WORDS are the keys to the heart of a man.

TO THE MAN:
if you can, minimize your emotional attachment and love your wife with reason. Too much emotions is what causes fight in a relationship. When you careless, some trivial things won't matter.
If you leave this relationship, the next one won't still be free of some annoyance. Just minimize loving with emotions.

4 Likes

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 9:53pm On Mar 04
Zzor:
Your sadness is my joy, may you keep bumping into my posts
You are a destined loose b1tch so i don't blame you much

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 9:54pm On Mar 04
Jmw2kblogposts:
You are a destined loose b1tch so i don't blame you much
Wareva,I feel like flying
Re: I Broke Up With Her by aalangel(f): 9:55pm On Mar 04
The story sounds totally untrue.

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by femmyapson(m): 10:03pm On Mar 04
why is nobody talking about where they are both working. A regular federal worker can't afford and live the lifestyle they are both talking about here.

Se na UN, US Embassy or Ecowas una dey work ni.

But joke apart, it is so disgraceful and shameful at the same time for you guys to come here and b dragging yrself on a forum like nairaland.
where almost 90percent of active members are teen and mostly dont know what life is about moreless have experience about what you guys are fighting about. Some of these commenters are not even worthy to clean your shoes moreless address you. But alas, see wetin una use una hand cause. these set of people are abusing you guys n calling u names..
shame on you both.
bwambasolomon
Iamafinegirl

2 Likes

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 10:07pm On Mar 04
Zzor:
Wareva,I feel like flying
Any luck with the 50 years+ men you want? Are they already trooping in? pls fill me in, i can't wait to know that you will be somewhere very soon suffering and living in pure agony
Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 10:11pm On Mar 04
Jmw2kblogposts:
Any luck with the 50 years+ men you want? Are they already trooping in? pls fill me in, i can't wait to know that you will be somewhere very soon suffering and living in pure agony
now I know why you are pained kikiki

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 10:47pm On Mar 04
jelel6:


When I read the OP's initial submission, I'll admit my initial thoughts were: ah, that his partner in question doesn't seem so cool. But I figured stories are half told. Then I read your reply and I concluded that, you (the babe) is not so bad after all. Honestly, I think both of you are good people. Maybe not good together, but good people as individuals.

Then, in your rebuttal, after reading the quoted sections above, and even after you highlighted your class of degree and your prestigious Alma mater, I can see that you give yourself too much credit. To the extent that whatever sacrifices that guy has made for the both of you, you see it as your entitlements and not a show of care on his part.

I mean, really, are you accusing that guy of lack of care or love for you? Someone that you said chased you for more than a year? Respected (rightfully) your decision to keep your virginity for years now? He chased you like he's obsessed but he's not behaving like someone who's after your body, does he?

He may not buy you random gifts every now and then, but I didn't read where you bought him Polo or treat him on his birthday and he refused to reciprocate.

And you went about how you're not a typical African Woman and bla bla. Let me ask, apart from your financial status, how's your outlook different from the typical African Woman you're so eager to define?

There's always something better outside if you look enough. Be we don't always deserve better.


I got him a gift for vals @you asking if I get him stuff (na everything person go come d mention) and I gift him stuff too even wen I had trips out. I got him same as my brother in law and all that because they are family to me already in my head so d can be doing anko etc. After getting vals gift, I didn’t know it was fight waiting Saturday before the vals where I had gotten his gift and set aside money to do coconut fried rice and chicken as it was a special day and I wanted to make it special for us. I got no gift ooooo. For where...that one occurred wen them dey toast me. But fight planned out over a simple issue...
Fight reason: He said let’s buy food in bulk, I said do u mean bulk different from the normal sharing we are currently doing, he said like 10 mudu beans, I then met him and said do u also mean like 10 semo bags because some of the price of this things don’t really change with bulk if it’s not like tomato or pepper basket etc. I was saying this because this was a period I didn’t even have money other than what we had planned normally or my normal contributions too because I am also building as we had started seperate my before the union but it seemed that month he wasn’t working on his building so he didn’t care what I was doing and just from the blues came up with bulk at that moment when I didn’t have but maybe he had much then. He didn’t even wait for me to finish saying the prices of bulk 10 semo bags won’t change much from buying one or two, he started shouting “if you don’t want to contribute don’t contribute”, the next thing he stormed out, wore cloth etc drove off. I was saying be calming down. Life is not like that. Calm down. For where. Anger and the inability to calm down problem he has had stepped in. I can’t even talk. I was so hurt. I dumped d gift on the bed, prepared and went out.
I m not saying I am perfect I m sure I hv my own but u need calmness and ability to sit n sort issues or different opinions amicably for a relationship to work. The issue is I dare not have an opinion even when I need to contribute too.

N.B: I still even bought the beans later later for peace and he came back later to say I won’t be eating beans. The beans been dey there for store the look everybody. I was even telling him of an investment here I felt could be good and he could look into as I went out that afternoon to also look at it....I try to improve myself I try to improve my spouse... that’s what I am taught to do. I think he kind of dozed off as I was talking and as he woke up and what I was saying was not even entering his ear... all he went back to saying is “I won’t be eating beans” grin. Same beans wey b d devil Dt cause fight that led to counselling section? in my mind I said oh boy u must be eating beans. grin grin. All I was saying about u investing and possibilities of improving your income wasn't entering anywhere.
I would be d same person telling him don’t play ludo with your gate man all day like afternoon to night find one or two other things that is of value that interest you or you like etc. And do more for you and yourself in that area and increase your fulfilment too as in get more out of life.
And I still don’t love you?
It seems we just communicated love in different ways.
Re: I Broke Up With Her by being(m): 11:24pm On Mar 04
I THINK that apart from 1. loving ( being attracted/admire) each other, a couple also need to be able 2. to work with each other/share similar principles & outlook to life and also 3. respect, forbear and pay attention to each other. You both don't have 2 & 3 which are more important than no 1.
Of course at this stage u should move on.

Iamafinegirl:

He didn’t even wait for me to finish saying the prices of bulk 10 semo bags won’t change much from buying one or two, he started shouting “if you don’t want to contribute don’t contribute”, the next thing he stormed out, wore cloth etc drove off. I was saying be calming down. Life is not like that. Calm down. For where. Anger and the inability to calm down problem he has had stepped in. I can’t even talk. I was so hurt. I dumped d gift on the bed, prepared and went out.
I m not saying I am perfect I m sure I hv my own but u need calmness and ability to sit n sort issues or different opinions amicably for a relationship to work. The issue is I dare not have an opinion even when I need to contribute too.
Re: I Broke Up With Her by loveymom(f): 11:35pm On Mar 04
Iamafinegirl:

I got him a gift for vals @you asking if I get him stuff (na everything person go come d mention) and I gift him stuff too even wen I had trips out. I got him same as my brother in law and all that because they are family to me already in my head so d can be doing anko etc. After getting vals gift, I didn’t know it was fight waiting Saturday before the vals where I had gotten his gift and set aside money to do coconut fried rice and chicken as it was a special day and I wanted to make it special for us. I got no gift ooooo. For where...that one occurred wen them dey toast me. But fight planned out over a simple issue...
Fight reason: He said let’s buy food in bulk, I said do u mean bulk different from the normal sharing we are currently doing, he said like 10 mudu beans, I then met him and said do u also mean like 10 semo bags because some of the price of this things don’t really change with bulk if it’s not like tomato or pepper basket etc. I was saying this because this was a period I didn’t even have money other than what we had planned normally or my normal contributions too because I am also building as we had started seperate my before the union but it seemed that month he wasn’t working on his building so he didn’t care what I was doing and just from the blues came up with bulk at that moment when I didn’t have but maybe he had much then. He didn’t even wait for me to finish saying the prices of bulk 10 semo bags won’t change much from buying one or two, he started shouting “if you don’t want to contribute don’t contribute”, the next thing he stormed out, wore cloth etc drove off. I was saying be calming down. Life is not like that. Calm down. For where. Anger and the inability to calm down problem he has had stepped in. I can’t even talk. I was so hurt. I dumped d gift on the bed, prepared and went out.
I m not saying I am perfect I m sure I hv my own but u need calmness and ability to sit n sort issues or different opinions amicably for a relationship to work. The issue is I dare not have an opinion even when I need to contribute too.

N.B: I still even bought the beans later later for peace and he came back later to say I won’t be eating beans. The beans been dey there for store the look everybody. I was even telling him of an investment here I felt could be good and he could look into as I went out that afternoon to also look at it....I try to improve myself I try to improve my spouse... that’s what I am taught to do. I think he kind of dozed off as I was talking and as he woke up and what I was saying was not even entering his ear... all he went back to saying is “I won’t be eating beans” grin. Same beans wey b d devil Dt cause fight that led to counselling section? in my mind I said oh boy u must be eating beans. grin grin. All I was saying about u investing and possibilities of improving your income wasn't entering anywhere.
I would be d same person telling him don’t play ludo with your gate man all day like afternoon to night find one or two other things that is of value that interest you or you like etc. And do more for you and yourself in that area and increase your fulfilment too as in get more out of life.
And I still don’t love you?
It seems we just communicated love in different ways.

Just know that his attitude/behavior will not stop or that he is going to change. if you decide to marry him, be ready to deal with this behavior and also expect an increase to it.

4 Likes

Re: I Broke Up With Her by bignero: 11:39pm On Mar 04
9jaRealist:



Folks like you are the reason people like her “you no dey understand English?” grin grin grin

The simple illustration about the blender is that she wanted to buy one that lasts longer (that’s actually the “quality” she seemed to be referring to) rather than a cheaper that would breakdown quickly (and she even gave an example of precisely that happening), which makes all kinds of good common sense - at least to rational people (which by definition would exclude a lot of “penny-wise-pound-foolish” Nigerians). Similarly, with the car, she was saying if they used the import guy connection, he could get a better car for cheaper than he paid for his current car. Not sure why anyone would think that’s not a good thing for a girlfriend to suggest - and yet if we all had a penny for every time a dude suggested where his girlfriend or wife should buy a guy, or a generator or some other equipment, we would all probably be billionaires.

Meanwhile, funny that you think her litany is “inconsequential” (and I am pretty sure that she was writing in a ‘stream of consciousness’ since it was a hurried response, unlike the dude who obviously sat down to compose his whine), but yet it was the dude who was complaining about where they bought water or drinks, which restaurants or lounges they would go to, and whether she preferred to shop at malls than the market.

Conversely, I agree with you that if someone is offended by one’s words and verbalizes it, the least the speaker should do is try hard to refrain from repeating same. However, curiously your counsel only goes ONE WAY. Instead you casually wave off her litany of complaints variously “inconsequential” and “petty”. In fact, you nary utter a single word about her complaints of being insulted and denigrated. But then again, I do not really blame most Nigerian men for this sort of mental blindness. They have been raised and immersed in a largely partrimonial, sexist and even misogynistic culture that it has become inherently ingrained and normalized in their skewered worldview. Accordingly, stripped of all intellectual pretensions, your advice basically boils down to: make yourself smaller, suppress your views and voice, and supplicate to the man.

Frankly, the sole useful counsel she should take from both your comments is that they both should move on.
>

You quoted me to write this long episode.. That i don't understand English.. You and the babe are at the same mental level.. You love someone and the quality of blender is what is itching you.. You're building a house, and the quality of blender is your issue?..

Omo men no get time... I need a car asap, and i can afford it, time exceeds money.. Yes id rather buy from Yankee.. But evidently these people have money and penny pinching wont hit them hard.. Because they can always buy a car later.. Women are generally petty.. But the worse part is its coming froma fellow man as you,.. Trash.. Scientists say women have smaller brains.. You seem to have similar with women.. Another thing is the money ratio is 60 t0 40 (this was after wahala started, and she claimed not to have used him as a toaster).. Then the money i spent on my car is what is giving you heat
. Omo get off my mentions abeg or come with something correct
Re: I Broke Up With Her by alizma: 12:53am On Mar 05
bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.
1) the two you are not compatible
2) you are yet to know much about women and I will advise you don't get married yet, because if you do, even with another woman, you will get problem
Re: I Broke Up With Her by djon78(m): 12:56am On Mar 05
obinoral1179:
it's better not to support either of them because From their analysis it's base on character flaws from both side...


Both of them need serious growing up to do.
Re: I Broke Up With Her by djon78(m): 12:56am On Mar 05
obinoral1179:
it's better not to support either of them because From their analysis it's base on character flaws from both side...


Both of them need serious growing up to do.
They ain't matured at all
Re: I Broke Up With Her by jelel6: 1:03am On Mar 05
Iamafinegirl:

It seems we just communicated love in different ways.

Perhaps, you captured it perfectly with the above.

I just think you guys really lack the kind of inner, silent understanding that's normally common between two friends in your relationship. Some couples have it naturally, while some others (like yours) may have to nurture it. And the ingredients that could have helped you nurture that sort of deeper understanding (respect, patience, communication, selflessness, etc) are not recognised and appreciated when either of you try to show it. Hence, why you two always seemed to be out of sync with each other. If you always differ over the little things, it means you fight all the time.

Hopefully, you both (separately) go on and meet that person who just feels right without needing them to change drastically in personality.

I wish you both Good luck.

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Coolgent: 1:07am On Mar 05
bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.
Screenshot this...
If you ever marry that lady you will surely regret evsr been married in your life.
Re: I Broke Up With Her by djon78(m): 1:11am On Mar 05
[quote author=SmellingAnus post=99609744] hahhahaha me no want girls wey dey selfish/greedy with all her things o cheesy cheesy but na true you talk[/quote

The truth is that the dude ain't matured at all
Misplaced priorities, can't manage his money

A recipe for future brokenness when the job is no longer there

A well matured and sensible guy will handle that babe and get the best out of her

To me that babe no even get problem, she needs a man that has listening ear for her which is what most females want but a lot of guys ain't matured for that

The guy has more of the problem, because he is meant to be a leader and give the relationship a direction. Women won't even respect such type of guys

2 Likes

Re: I Broke Up With Her by bezimo(m): 1:28am On Mar 05
9jaRealist:


Dude, I don’t have your obvious low self-esteem issues... grin
>
How is my experience related to self esteem issues..if you are not an idiot bankrupt of basic comprehension issues..get lost.

I just drew a comparative analogy of what my experience is with a white girl which was the complete opposite with my 9ja babe ex..and you are talking nonsense like one whose brain is in the anus?
Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 4:24am On Mar 05
bwambasolomon:
I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.

For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it's not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.

Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there's something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don't have class, it's classy people that buy such things.

So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn't the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.

She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.

Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.

She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.

That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.

I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn't know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn't know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn't know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?

But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won't care if it gets spoilt. In short there's usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.

I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won't take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.

Please note that we aren't yet married, and I agreed to not having sex with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.

So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can't both be working and she won't be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn't make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn't volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won't want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.

We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn't know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.

Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
Thank you.

1 Share

Re: I Broke Up With Her by loveymom(f): 4:27am On Mar 05
No other chats to show us other than repeating the same thing? grin grin cheesy grin

5 Likes

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 4:38am On Mar 05
You clearly don't have sense, cos you should know that I am not your regular class of guy, I am way beyond that, if I were to tell you what I earn monthly, you will begin to postrate for me. How can I be the one with the problem when I was just trying to make a good husband until I discovered the girl was an ingrate who won't appreciateb nything you do for her. It's best you don't say anything than to say something that is completely off point from the main topic. I bet you, you can't stand where I stand, so you better watch your words. [quote author=djon78 post=99615611][/quote]

1 Like

Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 4:48am On Mar 05
loveymom:
No other chats to show us other than repeating the same thing? grin grin cheesy grin
Re: I Broke Up With Her by Nobody: 4:55am On Mar 05
loveymom:
No other chats to show us other than repeating the same thing? grin grin cheesy grin

This is another chat. Telling me I don't understand English. Do I sound like someone who doesn't understand English?
But usually she takes pleasure in insulting me, so I'm curious to know why.

Re: I Broke Up With Her by YorubaPrince: 6:03am On Mar 05
OP is a disgrace to men... His fiancee is an entitled fool! angry

Both of 'em are MADDD! angry

2 Likes

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