₦airaland Forum

IamBroke:
Even me I'm guilty of this.. especially as a broke ass niqqer I find it hard to Toast girls that are financially stable.

One thing about them is that..they are so confident when talking to you.

You can't even use money to get them.
Most of them are so disrespectful because they have money..

No, I'm not. In fact it's the broke ones I don't dare go close to. Stacy0, can I toast you? Are you financially independent?

Incognito403:
You said no man can use a financially stable for shakara.

It's not true. At least not totally.

Once you make money, you'll realize how important people, connections and companionships are in your life.

Unfortunately, that's when you're most vulnerable to emotional abuse.

What was my first paragraph in that comment?

ehay:
Ha Oga, how can you request love and submission from someone, hiaaaa. And the only reason a man feels he needs to control a woman is low self esteem. Your wife is an adult, you do not control her, you reason things out with her, it makes her feel loved and won't take anything away from you. The best leaders are they ones that promote team work.

No doubt my dear, I agree with your very sound points, but you have taken my explanation out of context.

The context is this: the Bible request/command a man to love and a woman to submit. In that logic was the foundation of my response, all other itemization in your write up is what a loving relationship should embody. Cheers

Mummymahdi:
Some men enjoy their women contributing while some refuse the wife to contribute so she wont see any reason to look down on them. For me I can contribute to my family as much as I can, most times I do finish my money 100% b4 asking for anything, am d kind that never begs dur ing courtship and even after marriage. So he learnt to give me without me asking. My problem is how men clip the wings of most woman when they are opportune. They feel insecure or what to let the wife prosper? I can't comprehend

I will never allow a woman to be financially buoyant more than me gaskiya, it will never happen, and the problem is that you women when you get small power you feel like the world works around your head, you will never respect the man, that's why a man will rather die single than to marry a rich woman richer than him, a man richer than billgate can marry a ghetto girl and respect her and her generation what of a woman??

Romanoff:
That one becomes control now.

The same poorer ones you guys complain are always asking for urgent 2k and transport fare?

A woman will rather ask me money anytime than to marry a financial buoyant woman more than me, God forbid

jadyclem:
Submission is not earned, submission is given. A woman that truly loves you would have less difficulty submitting to you. Also, both men and women submit to each other. As a man, any time you respond to your wife's need, listen to her concerns and put her first, you're indirectly submitting to her at those instances and vice versa. Submission has nothing to do with your woman obeying all your others like a zombie without her having any say, it's more about how you both treat each other, relate with each other and respond to each other's needs and concerns. So if she loves you, submission would come naturally to her irrespective of whether she earns more or less.

Correct man. Your brain is well-oiled.

pozehnani:
So it's a slowpoke you want?

If you want a woman to worship you, then be responsible for her 100% . As long as she's independent and responsible for herself then don't expect her to be 50% submissive to you. That's just the truth of I'm going to be honest with you. So you being "afraid" of approaching them is not out of place because you go hear am if you dare to cross their path.

I will never marry a woman richer than me o

Romanoff:
The reason I advice women to be financially independent is cause you'll know why you're dating a guy. Not cause he's spending on you, but cause you really like him.

Man no fit use financially stable woman do Shakara.

Many men use their money as a tool to control a woman, which money you wan use control woman wey dey financially stable.

There's a difference between submission and control. Submission is earned and flows easily from the heart while control is conditional, with something attached to it.

but most of them nor dey marry o even at 39..i have some in my office...some na baby mamas or single mother..me they also try reason the mechanism behind this

COdeGenesis:
bbb
You just went to quote half scripture to validate your false misconception of the bible. What you quoted above was in a different context. See the full passage here. It clearly stated that women should submit to their husbands. VS 21 was a follow up from VS 18 - 21 when he was addressing the church and how members of the church should live a life of purpose. VS 22 was specifically for Married Folks

15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head his same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their [b]own body, but they feed and care for their [/b]body, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In t[b]leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' 32[/b]This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Quick question:

Wouldn't you be single first, before becoming married? In comparison, wouldn't you learn how to submit to each other (vs 21) before understanding how (vs 22) should work?

Have a nice day.

musicwriter:
I wish people understand what you said above.

Perception is the key to everything. Unfortunately, the wrong perception has been created in our brains that money is the dominating factor, instead of say; love or strength or intelligence or honestly or modesty or something else.

Note: And it's not just about the woman's perception of the husband but about life in general- vice versa men. In other words, a good marriage would actually be the one where husband and wife share the same philosophy about life in general, irrespective of who's wealthier

In la la land, this sounds very intellectual but in reality, finances are a big deal breaker before and after.

Shared perspectives are great only when there is no financial turbulence.

osazsky:
but most of them nor dey marry o even at 39..i have some in my office...some na baby mamas or single mother..me they also try reason the mechanism behind this

Only the ones who are Ill mannered and proud will be in that category. And believe me, bad manners and pride has nothing to do with having money.

Even poor people dey get pride an I'll manners.

Yusufisraelj:
Very well then, but I think you should give it unconditionally.




Not at all, but also look at what someone wrote below:



If you've met me in person you will know I don't twist truth to suit my interest, I take the whole counsel of God. You can point that out without being mean.

Your point is very valid, but as regards love relationship a man feeds of submission (respect) and a woman feeds of love for check and balance, however to your point both should learn to accommodate each other, if we go deeper into the concordance of this scripture to bring out the Hebrew meaning of the verse you quoted, you will know it's not plain submission, there is more to that, but this not the place for that. Cheers

I was mean? Oh my! I had no idea I was being mean. Totally flew over my head.

Too bad I don't know you in person


Anyway, I had to say what I said the way I said it because for numerous times, I have seen people on this forum use that particular verse of the Bible in a misdirected attempt and some to push for one agenda only: subjugation and outright misogyny. I, for one, hate when lovers of the world use the Bible only when it suits them. Example: No one ever uses Hebrew 13:4 in this place with all the adultery going on but we all know that verse of the bible exists.


I would, however, love for someone somewhere and someday use that Ephesians 5, not just verse 22, and teach something else that has no relation to what the literal meaning of that verse interprets.

ABANGWABOI:
You made salient points sincerely..
just like that Solomon of a guy, many of them lacks self worth and esteem, weaklings par say and can't stand their grounds on what they want...
on a diff note, I nearly mistook you for that Toxic Feminist wannabe girl called Sapphire or whatever, Had to check your moniker again..
Do have a nice day my dear..

So, because I'm not her, you're choosing to be nice to me and to wish me a good day? Your 'nicety' is conditional?

simplesearch:
It's like that too in the US. As soon as the lady starts receiving a pay cheque higher than that of the husband they quit being submissive,
even if they were brought over. Likely reason for spousal murder cases among black immigrants.

If he lorded over her when she had nothing, it's understandable why she seized her freedom from him once she got the chance.

Men who complain about their wives not being submissive are people who need to subjugate others to feel good about themselves. Like little demigods and shit. That's why their reaction to anything like 'disrespect' is always violent.

Good thing American Justice System is swift and handy for all demigods

Sixfeetbelle:
So, because I'm not her, you're choosing to be nice to me and to wish me a good day? Your 'nicety' is conditional?

if she was the one that quoted me, I won't even give her the honour of replying her..

Hassanmaye:
I will never allow a woman to be financially buoyant more than me gaskiya, it will never happen, and the problem is that you women when you get small power you feel like the world works around your head, you will never respect the man, that's why a man will rather die single than to marry a rich woman richer than him, a man richer than billgate can marry a ghetto girl and respect her and her generation what of a woman??

Read what u just put up here, talk for urself abeggg. Many guys have married women because they are financially ok or for the single reason. That they are from rich home, while some can't allow a woman to b financially buoyant some are spending money building their woman because she is d only one to take care of his offspring ifff something would ever happen to him. The billgate that can marry a ghetto girl will still not respect her and her family he married her to take what he desire he can't respect her same way as if he marries Dangotes daughter.and d end doesn't use to be good.

doxijaw:
In la la land, this sounds very intellectual but in reality, finances are a big deal breaker before and after.

Shared perspectives are great only when there is no financial turbulence.

How about successful marriages among poor people in the poorest countries, villages, and towns across the world? Please explain to me the role of wealth in those marriages. How about successful marriages in slums across the world cities?

musicwriter:
How about success marriages among poor people in the poorest countries, villages, and towns across the world? Please explain to me the role of wealth in those marriages.

Back in those days before people became woke, poverty could be managed, albeit with an insurmountable amount of unhappiness and long suffering.

What we had then were strong traditional values which saw divorce, single parents as anomalies .

In today's world, with exposure to western ways & excessive consumerism, removal of shame as a preventive mechanism means women are no longer willing to endure.

Surely you can still find the type of enduring partnership you mentioned but the success rate diminishes with exposure.

I NEED ONE TO DATE NOW SELF...I DON TIRE

doxijaw:
Back in those days before people became woke, poverty could be managed, albeit with an insurmountable amount of unhappiness and long suffering.

What we had then were strong traditional values which saw divorce, single parents as anomalies .

In today's world, with exposure to western ways & excessive consumerism, removal of shame as a preventive mechanism means women are no longer willing to endure.

Surely you can still find the type of enduring partnership you mentioned but the success rate diminishes with exposure.

I am not talking back in the days, I am talking about today. The comment I quoted understands what I mean but you don't.

The Western world has nothing to do with anything here, please. Ok, how about successful marriages among poor people in America?

ABANGWABOI:
if she was the one that quoted me, I won't even give her the honour of replying her..

I see.

I should learn how to do that, too. The not replying mention thingy. It sounds like fun

musicwriter:
I am not talking back in the days, I am talking about today. The comment I quoted understands what I mean but you don't.

The Western world has nothing to do with anything here, please. Ok, how about successful marriages among poor people in America?

I understood the comment you referenced and yours, just adding some realities into it..

As for poor westerners, that's relative. .. social security looks after people in the west, so a poor western woman cannot be compared to a poor Nigerian for instance....

Even with all the social security in the west, finance can often be a deal breaker .

Why do you think a lot of women have opted for lone parents payments and discarded their partners from the home?

I get u , u don't get me.

Kriss216:
Why should a sane man fear a vagina that uses two hands to urinate

If that's how you judge women, you're nothing but a fckin' sexist misogynist m*oron!!

IamBroke:
Even me I'm guilty of this.. especially as a broke ass niqqer I find it hard to Toast girls that are financially stable.

One thing about them is that..they are so confident when talking to you.

You can't even use money to get them.
Most of them are so disrespectful because they have money..

Every woman needs love, no matter their financial status! The same applies to men. If you're not rich don't be lazy, just be ambitious, they like that.

If you see a woman you like and want to date, just go for it! Ignore the material stuff and focus on her personality.

One of my friends met a good beautiful woman who earns three times what he earns and they've been happily married for 7 yrs. now.

Not all "rich" women are rude or bad. Remember, many failed marriages involve mostly women who had nothing before marriage. Think about that, it's a fact!

doxijaw:
I understood the comment you referenced and yours, just adding some realities into it..

As for poor westerners, that's relative. .. social security looks after people in the west, so a poor western woman cannot be compared to a poor Nigerian for instance....

Even with all the social security in the west, finance can often be a deal breaker .

Why do you think a lot of women have opted for lone parents payments and discarded their partners from the home?

I get u , u don't get me.

I am not talking about unsuccessful marriages because, of course, not all marriages would be successful. Everyone knows that.

Tell me the role of wealth in successful marriages among poor people.

My man is secure with himself regardless of who earns what in our relationship. He is the man and the head of our house. Period. I wholly and fully submit to him because he has earned my FULL respect and not by throwing money around because I have my own.

TemmyT002:
Are you out of your mind?
How many financially stable women exist? That is who most men are looking for.
Mtchewww
Where are they they?

They’re around

Sixfeetbelle:
Quick question:

Wouldn't you be single first, before becoming married? In comparison, wouldn't you learn how to submit to each other (vs 21) before understanding how (vs 22) should work?

Have a nice day.

You are just jumping left and right. Is a married person still single? Respect yourselves as brothers and sisters in the lord. Let each member of the church have regard for each other. But Aunty when you get to the house RESPECT your husband because for men Love comes with respect. For men , love your wife because respect comes with LOVE. If in marriage you don't abide by this simple principle then you likely to encounter an issue

GeneralPula:
Even tho, I’ve once date a rich lady... But how many naija ladies are financial stable?

Can a good statistician kindly give me the % of financial stable naija girls..

I hope runs girls are not part of the so called financial stable?

Lol, 0.001% including the runs girls.

TemmyT002:
Are you out of your mind?
How many financially stable women exist? That is who most men are looking for.
Mtchewww
Where are they they?

I'm just laughing at the funny topic.

Sixfeetbelle:
So, because I'm not her, you're choosing to be nice to me and to wish me a good day? Your 'nicety' is conditional?

Don't mind that nitwit called ABANGWABOI

Sterope:
All your scenarios do not reflect the reality of Nigerian homes and many homes outside Nigeria. Many homes are too poor to survive on a single income. If women don't spend according to your concocted fact, we should be richer. What else would we do with those extra cash?

Plus when women earn low, it is either because of her family commitment or the society's or biology.

Maybe it is time you ask your mum how often it was her money many times she told you your dad gave her money or your dad sent money to you?

You are intelligent. If I were not married, I could have sent a . You obviously cannot survive on one income. My wife and I usually have series of dialogue for all our expenses per quarter. Q1-Q4. She presents budget on feeding, school fees, rent and car maintenance. I present the budget for the amount to be invested, saved and insured. We work out the math thoroughly. Although she often pads her budget. For a low middle income earner, you live in apartment where you pay 700k as rent plus fees and all, a single income cannot accommodate it. For the submission aspect, I don't even know what that means. We are friends and we help each other.