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WINNING WAYS WITH CYRIL ISI

GRATITUDE: THE SECRET TO ATTRACTING MORE BLESSINGS

“GRATITUDE is the best medicine. It heals your mind, your body and your spirit. And attracts more things to be grateful for.”

We have come to the time of the year when people look back and find many reasons to be disappointed, to be angry, to be frustrated and to be depressed. You look back and see that all you wished for at the beginning of the year with excitement did not come to pass. You still have many unfulfiled goals and expectations. All your projections and dreams did not come to pass as expected. You become really angry and depressed.

You are angry at the fact that you are not yet where you want to be. You are still jobless. You are still dependent. You have not gotten admission. You are still not married. You are still not pregnant. You are like, “why!” Why did I work so hard but have so little to show for it? Why is it that my life is at a standstill – no progress? Why is the universe angry with me? And you start thinking maybe I am truly cursed or something. “That family curse may be working against me!” “My enemies must have tied down my success in the coven.”

Bro calm down. Yes it is true that you did not achieve what you set out to achieve this year. Yes it true that things did not go as planned. Yes it is true that that one thing you desired so much and spent sleepless night praying and fasting for still did not come to pass. But that is not enough reason for you to be angry, frustrated and depressed. That is not enough reason for you to be unhappy and ungrateful. Have you thought for a second that it is only the living that has goals or dreams to achieve? The dead cannot achieve anything. They are gone and gone forever. When there is life, there’s hope. You still have life and your future spread out before you. You still have the chance and time to pursue your dreams and achieve them. Why not shift your gaze from the failures you experienced this year and concentrate on the other good things that worked for you this year.

Instead of crying that you could not get pregnant this year after years of marriage, why not be grateful for the fact that you are married and still married. There are so many people out there praying to God day and night to find a life partner. Some are older than you, more educated and successful than you, more descent and beautiful than you and yet they are not married. But you with all your shortcomings, you are happily married. Instead of you to thank God for that you are feeling depressed because you are not yet pregnant.

Hey you! You are angry that you cannot get your dream job this year, despite all the efforts you made, all the applications you sent, all the interviews you attended and all the “I will get back to you”you received. My dear, you should be grateful that you are even qualified to apply for that dream job. There are many people out there that don’t have the type of education and qualifications you have and are still contented. Many do not even have the opportunity to go to school or even get trained in a skill/trade yet they are still grateful. So many will wish to just be in your shoes. But instead of you to be grateful to God for all He has blessed you with, you are feeling frustrated because of the job that has not come.

Count your blessing and name them one by one and it will surprise you how blessed, favoured and fortunate you are. Count your blessing of good health – you are not in the hospital, on admission and living on drugs. Count your blessing of life – you are not in the mortuary and counted among the dead. Count your blessing of roof over your head – you are not sleeping on the street or under the bridge or in an uncompleted building. Count your blessings of sanity – you are not a mad man/woman roaming around the neighborhood with destiny truncated. Count your blessing of clothes to wear – you are not walking around naked with nothing to wear. Count your blessing food to eat – at least you have something to eat instead of begging every passerby on the street.

My brother there’s so much to be grateful for. Look for reasons to be grateful – even when you are struggling. Taking time to give thanks for even the smallest blessings can help you appreciate the good things in your life. We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.

Be happy. Be successful. Be YOU.

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We are in the festive period when the rate of kidnapping of children is very high. Every parent should be concern about the safety of their children this period. Kidnappers are everywhere now most especially in places where children gather for recreations and religious activities. Children are kidnapped for many reasons. Some are kidnapped for ritual purpose. Some are kidnapped and trafficked for child labour, prostitution or slavery. Some are kidnapped for financial gains where the kidnappers will demand for ransom.

Many strategies are now being used by kidnappers to abduct children. I recently read the story of a woman who drugged a boy of about 6 years before kidnapping him. When she was caught, she confessed that she gave the boy a drugged ice cream and the boy took it from her because she told the boy that his mother sent her to give him the ice cream. After the boy took the ice cream, he became unconscious and she quickly took him to the park where she boarded a bus going to the next city before she was caught by men of the Nigerian Police.

As a parent, you have to be careful and ensure the safety of your children. It is easier to keep the child safe than to undergo the stress of looking for a child that is missing. The following are five things parent can do to prevent kidnapping.

1. Don’t put your child’s name on a cloth or backpack: When you put your child’s name on his cloth or backpack, it makes it easy for potential kidnapper to call your child by name. Children tend to easily trust people that know their name. When a stranger call a child by his name, it becomes very easy for the child to trust the stranger and follow him or take instructions from him.

2. Give your child a code word and teach him how to use it: A code word is a secret word that is only known to a child and his parent. This could be any word like “beef”, “tray” etc. The parent should teach the child that he can only trust, follow, or listen to anyone who use that code word. This can help prevent the child from being kidnapped most especially from kidnappers who already knows the name of the child. So if a potential kidnapper comes to the child and say “your parents ask me to bring you home, or give you this snack or follow me to that place”, the child should demand for his code word. If the potential kidnapper cannot say it, the child can raise an alarm or run away.

3. Tell your child that kidnappers look like regular people: Let your child know that kidnappers look and dress like responsible people. They don’t necessarily look like monsters or some street urchins. So children should not talk to strangers as a rule. If a stranger is asking for direction or help, they should talk to adults not children. Teach your child not to go near strangers, play with them or take anything from them no matter how nice or responsible they look. They might be potential kidnappers.

4. Teach your child to scream for help when in trouble: When an adult is trying to forcefully make them do what they don’t want to do like entering a car, they should scream for help. They shouldn’t just scream for help but also say something like “Help! This man wants to kidnap me” or “Help! This man is not by daddy”. If they are just screaming and not saying anything, people passing might assume they are just having childish tantrums.

5. Tell your child that safety is more important than being polite: While we teach our kids to be polite and respectful to adults, it is also important to teach them that safety is more important than being polite. So if they do not feel comfortable with an adult or a stranger, they should just walk away. If their instinct is telling them that something is wrong, they should walk or run away.


The safety of your child is your primary assignment as a parent. Please take out time from your busy schedule to teach your children this tips inorder to prevent them from being kidnap. Prevention is far more better than cure.


About the Author

CYRIL ISI is the Director of TotalChild Children and Teens Network, an NGO that works with children and young people to help them actualize their potentials by promoting and protecting their rights and welfare. Our mission is to improve the quality of life of children and young people by creating and supporting programs that bring about self-actualization and total development.

For enquiries, Call/Whatsapp 08180495451 OR reach us via:
Email: emailtotachild@gmail.com
Facebook page: Totalchild
Instagram: @totalchildnetwork

Follow this link to join our WhatsApp group: https:///BuavvHc1bGiKitAFbWdOpB

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WINNING WAYS WITH CYRIL ISI

UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF GOALS

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.”

We are at the time of the year when serious minded people take time to review of all that happened this year in different areas of their life and also to plan what they want to happen in the coming year. While so many people are lost in the euphoria of the season, the once that knows how to design their life are busy setting goals for the coming year making plans on how to achieve it. The importance of goal setting in the life of a man can never be overemphasized. A goal is an idea of the future or desired result that a person envision, plan and commit to achieving. Goals help you to know what you want to do with your life, when you want to do it, why you want to do it and how you intend to do it.

If you sincerely take time to ponder at the things that happened in your life this year - what you achieve and what you did not achieve, you will be surprise to discover that they are all linked to the goals you set and the once you did not set. They are linked to the goals you actually worked on achieving and the once you did not. You cannot achieve something that you did not set out to achieve. Living your life without setting goals is like a football game without a goal post. The players play round and round the field without a place to score goals. The game is very frustrating. At the end of it all, nobody wins and nobody lose because no goal is scored. The scored goal is actually what determined the winner and loser of the game. Nothing is achieved and everyone goes home frustrated with nothing to show for the time and energy spent. That is how your life is when you did not set goals or have any goal to achieve.

The trouble with not having goal is that you spend your life running up and down the field and never score. No achievement. You just remain the same way you started. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing and that is not why we are here. We are here to live life and live it to the fullest. We are here to fulfil a divine mandate. We are here to maximize our potential inorder to fulfil our purpose.

The people who get things done, who lead, who grow and who make an impact are people who have goals. If you want to live a life of success and fulfilment, you must set goals for yourself and map out plans to accomplish it. Things don’t just happen, we make them happen and one sure way to make things happen for us is to set goals and work on accomplishing them. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. There’s no telling what you can do when you set goals, when you are inspired by them, when you believe in them and when you act on them. You will simply do the unimaginable, go places, break limitations and achieve unending success.

As the year comes to an end, what are your goals for the coming year? What are your goals for your education, marriage, job, business, finance, family etc? You must set goals for any area of your life that you want to see change or progress. Start now and create the future you want by setting goals and working out concrete plans on how to achieve them.

Be happy. Be successful. Be YOU.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

• 90% of child sexual abuse cases are perpetrated by a family member or another trusted person
• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before age 18
• 30% of perpetrators are family members of the victim
• 10% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are strangers
• Childhood sexual abuse is a public health crisis that deserve prompt and urgent action.

Child Sexual abuse is:
• any sexual act between an adult and a minor, or between two minors, when one exerts power over the other for sexual gratification
• forcing, coercing or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act
• non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism, and communicating in a sexual manner by phone or internet
• exploitative use of a child in prostitution or other unlawful sexual practices

Children may become victims of sexual abuse within their families (by a parent, step-parent, sibling or other relative) or outside the home (by a friend, neighbour, teacher, stranger). The perpetrators are often driven by a need to dominate or control others. Physical violence, which is very common in sexual abuse of adults, may also be involved in child sexual abuse. However, child abusers usually rely on inherent power that an adult has over a child.

CATEGORIES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

• Non-touching abuses: Exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, taking photographs of children in a sexualized manner, voyeurism, communicating in a sexual way, such as through telephone or the internet, and letting down the walls of privacy so that the child watches or hears sexual acts.
• Touching abuses: Kissing, handling, MouthAction, vaginal or anal intercourse, or attempted intercourse.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

TOTALCHILD CHILDREN AND TEENS NETWORK, an NGO that works with children and young people to help them actualize their potentials by promoting and protecting their rights and welfare. Our mission is to improve the quality of life of children and young people by creating and supporting programs that bring about self-actualization and total development.

If you are interested in what we do, you can get involved in 3 ways:

1. Volunteer Partner: Join our vibrant team of volunteers to administer support programs to children and young people
2. Resource Partner: Donate academic materials, products and other gift items to be given free during our programmes and outreaches to children and young people. You can also donate materials, equipment and facilities to support our cause.
3. Financial Partner: Donate fund to support our high-impact programs and outreaches to reach children and teenagers in schools, orphanage homes and other organisations.

For enquiries, Call/Whatsapp 08180495451 OR reach us via:
Email: emailtotachild@gmail.com
Facebook page: Totalchild
Instagram: @totalchildnetwork

Follow this link to join our WhatsApp group: https:///BuavvHc1bGiKitAFbWdOpB

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THE AWARDS AND ITS IMPLICATIONS

“Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”

I was opportuned to be in a Foundation Launching and Award Ceremony last weekend. My team was actually covering the event which had top dignitaries in attendance. The person of Bishop Taiwo Adelakun, the Presiding Bishop of Victory International Church and the Chancellor of Dominion University, Ibadan, was also in attendance and a recipient of one of the awards. Being who I am as a professional event manager and someone who is looking forward to organise a world class award ceremony in the near future, I was very observant. While doing my beat, I was taking note of so many things, most especially the way and manner the presentation of the awards were done.

As the recipients of the awards were called out and their profile read, I was intrigued. I observed that the recipients of the awards are those that have made considerable impact in the lives of people in the society. I was really inspired by the profile of Bishop Taiwo Adelakun and his beautiful wife. These are people that have made remarkable impact in the lives of people globally through the platform God has given to them. It dawn on me that the recipients of the award were not given the award because of who they are or the position they occupy in the society but for the impacts they have made in the lives of people, their contributions to national development and their selfless services to humanity. I strongly believe that while they were doing those things, they did not do it with the intention of getting a public award rather they were more concern about adding values to lives and making positive impact. But somehow, people were taking note of their good works and scoring them pass marks. And when the opportunity becomes ripe, they were publicly recognized with an award.

After the event, as I was reflecting on the award thing, I remember my own nomination for the Development in Nigeria Merit Awards (DINMA) last year. It was like a joke when the letter of nomination was brought to my office sometime in July, 2018. After going through the content of the letter over and over again, I was like “when did I start that I am being nominated for a DINMA Award?” The organisation that is organising and giving out the award is not even in Ibadan where I reside but in Lagos. While I was excited, it also got me thinking that no matter what you are doing, someone somewhere is watching you be it good or bad. With time your reward will come be it good or bad.

I was nominated for the DINMA Awards in the ‘Vocational Training in Nigeria category’. It was in recognition for my contribution to the development of vocational and entrepreneurship education in Nigeria. I founded Onus Vocational and Entrepreneurship Training Centre in 2011 and since then I have successfully trained hundreds of people in practical vocational skills in the areas of Photography, Videography, Graphics Design, Makeup Artistry, Catering Craft and Event Decorations. A lot of the people trained in our centre today have their own business and are contributing to the development of the Nigerian economy. I have personally written books using the NABTEB Trade curriculum to help students not only learn the practical aspect of the trade but also the theoritcal aspect that will enable them take and pass the NABTEB Trade Certification Exam. It gives me great joy whenever I see any of my old students running their own business and competing favourably in the business world.

Back to the award ceremony. Some of the lessons I learnt from the award ceremony are:

• Whatever you do, do it well and be the best at it. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Let excellence be your watchword.

• Do not worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition. At the appointed time, recognition will come. It might not come in the form of public award, it might take another form and you will be celebrated.

• Let whatever you decided to do as a business or otherwise, add value to people’s lives in some ways. You should be using your job or business to bless or impact lives in a positive way.

• Follow your passion. Do your own thing that you are made for. Don’t follow the crowd. Find your own purpose and strive to fulfil it. That is where success, happiness and fulfilment lie.

• Be patient. Sow the right seeds and patiently wait for the harvest. It will take time and process, but wait and you will reap it at the appointed time if you did not give up.

Be happy. Be successful. Be YOU.

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Dear Parents,

Usually, the HOLIDAYS is when SEXUAL ABUSE skyrockets while distant and close family members come to visit, some of whom are SEXUAL PREDATORS in secret. NEVER EVER force your girl or boy child to stay with Uncle so and so while you leave to shop or socialize. If your child has a bad vibe around family members, PLEASE LISTEN and prevent the next victim of this horrible act against children.

Sexual Predators are everywhere.

People who sexually abuse children can be found in families, schools, churches, recreation centers, youth sports centres, and any other place children gather. Significantly, abusers can be and often are other children.
• About 90% of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abusers. Only 10% of sexually abused children are abused by a stranger.
• Approximately 30% of children who are sexually abused are abused by family members.
• The younger the victim, the more likely it is that the abuser is a family member. Of those molesting a child under six, 50% were family members. Family members also accounted for 23% of these abusing children ages 12 to 17.
• About 60% of children who are sexually abused are abused by people the family trusts.

What are the signs that an adult may be using their relationship with a child for sexual reasons?

The signs that an adult may be using their relationship with a child for sexual reasons may not be obvious. We may feel uncomfortable about the way they play with the child, or seem always to be favouring them and creating reasons for them to be alone. There may be cuase for concern about the behaviour of an adult or young person if they:

• Refuse to allow a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters.
• Insist on physical affection such as kissing, hugging or wrestling even when the child clearly does not want to.
• Are overly interested in the sexual development of a child or teenager.
• Insist on time alone with a child with no interruptions.
• Spend most of their spare time with children and have little interest in spending time with people their own age.
• Regularly offer to baby-sit children for free or take children on overnight outings alone.
• Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason.
• Frequently walk in on children/teenagers in the bathroom.
• Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them fell ‘special’ compared with others in the family or group
• Pick on a particular child.

This holiday, parents be vigilant. Don’t jeopardize your child’s future by being careless. While you are celebrating this season, keep an eye on your children. Prevention is far and far better than cure. The more people are informed about child sexual abuse, the fewer victims there will be.

Brought to you by: TOTALCHILD CHILDREN AND TEENS NETWORK (NGO)

If you are interested in what we do, you can get involved in 3 ways:

1. Volunteer Partner: Join our vibrant team of volunteers to administer support programs to children in schools and other institutions
2. Resource Partner: Donate academic and other materials to support our cause.
3. Financial Partner: Donate fund to support our high-impact programs and outreaches to reach children and teenagers in schools, orphanage homes and other organisations.

For enquiries, Call 08180495451 OR reach us via:
Email: emailtotachild@gmail.com
Facebook page: Totalchild
Instagram: @totalchildnetwork

Follow this link to join our WhatsApp group: https:///BuavvHc1bGiKitAFbWdOpB

OR reach the Director via:
Email: talk2cyrilnow@gmail.com
Facebook page: cyrilisimedia
Instagram: @cyrilisi
Linkedin: @cyrilisi

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WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT A CHILD IS BEING ABUSED?

Children often show us rather than tell us that something is upsetting them. There may be many reasons for changes in their behaviour, but if we notice a combination of worrying signs it may be time to call for help or advice.

What to watch out for in children:
• Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects.
• Nightmares, sleeping problems.
• Becoming withdrawn or very clingy.
• Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure.
• Regressing to younger behaviours e.g bedwetting
• Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
• Outburst of anger.
• Changes in eating habits.
• Physical signs, such as, unexplained soreness or bruises around genitals, sexually-transmitted diseases, pregnancy.
• Becoming unusually secretive
• New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
• Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
• Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
• Running away
• Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person

Not any one sign means that a child is being abused, but the presence of several warning signs suggest that you should begin to ask questions and consider seeking help.

To get more information about child sexual abuse, you can get the book by Cyril Isi: Understanding and Preventing Child Sexual Abuse. It is available in hardcopy and softcopy (pdf format).

For more information on child sexual abuse, how to get help for a child that is being sexually abused, how to get a resource person to train young people, parents, teachers and caregivers on how to prevent child sexual abuse and other information relating to children and teenagers welfare please contact:

TOTALCHILD CHILDREN AND TEENS NETWORK
Facebook page: Totalchild
Instagram: Totalchildnetwork
Email: emailtotalchild@gmail.com
Tel: +2348180495451

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CHILD’S RIGHTS LAW OF OYO STATE

The Child’s Right Law of Oyo State states that a child has the following rights:

• A child has the right to survive.

• DON’T SELL CHILDREN FOR MONEY

• Every child is entitled to adequate rest, recreation (Leisure Play) appropriate to his or her age and culture.

• ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO ENGAGE IN GAMES THAT WILL ENHANCE THEIR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT

• No child should be separated from his/her family or parents except on the authority of a competent court when such separation is in the best interest of the child.

• DON’T HIDE YOUR CHILD IN THE HOUSE, LET THEM RELATE WITH OTHERS

• Every child has right to: Name, Family and Nationality. Every child has the right to know his/er parent and be cared for.

• REGISTER EVERY CHILD IMMEDIATELY AFTER BIRTH

• The child has the right to freely express your ideas, opinions and thoughts on issues and activities that affect your right to survival and development.

• CREATE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN’S COMPLAINTS AND WORRIES.

• Every child should be protected from any act that interferes with his/her privacy, honour and reputation in the homes, family and school, provided that parent or legal guardian shall have the right to exercise reasonable supervision over the conduct of their children.

• GIVE YOUR CHILD THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE ALONE

• Promote and develop the child’s personality, talent, mental and physical potentials to the maximum level.

• BOOKS ARE THE BEST TOOLS YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN; THEREFORE EVERY CHILD MUST GO TO SCHOOL

• Every child is entitled to enjoy good health, care, protection from diseases, and proper medical care for survival, personal growth and development

• NO CHILD SHOULD BE DEPRIVED OF HIS/HER RIGHTS TO HEALTH CARE SERVICES

• No child shall suffer irrespective of Ethnic, Origin, Birth, Colour, Sex, Language, Religion, or Social Beliefs, Status or Disability

• PROMOTE EQUALITY AND FAIRNESS IN TREATMENT OF MALE AND FEMALE CHILDREN

• Every child must be protected against all forms of exploitation, indecent or degrading treatment including child labour, abuse and torture, sexual exploitation, sale, abduction and drug abuse.

• CHILDREN SHOULD NOT HAWK, BEG ON THE STREET OR CARRY LOADS IN MARKET PLACES

• Children living under difficult circumstances like separation from parents, cases of imprisoned mothers, refugee children in armed and political crises deserve special care to reduce the trauma of their situation and adjust to normal and decent life.

• CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES NEED SPECIAL CARE

• No female child shall be subject to genital mutilation

• DESIST FROM THE HARMFUL CULTURAL PRACTICE AND PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN/GIRLS

• No person under the age of 18 years is capable of contracting a valid marriage and accordingly a marriage so contracted is null and void and of no effect whatsoever.

• EDUCATE THE GIRL CHILD, DO NOT GIVE HER AWAY IN MARRIAGE

And you shall know the Child’s Right Law and the law shall set the child free from every form of abuse, exploitation, molestation, deprivation and hardships. Knowledge is power.

Do you know any child whose right is being violated? Do you know any child who is being abused sexually, physically or emotionally. Do you know a child who is not in school but should be in school? Do you know a child who is addicted to drugs and needs help? Do you know a child who is homeless and urgently needs a shelter or home? Do you know a young girl of under 18 that is subjected to prostitution?

Please if your answer is yes to any of the above questions, do inform us. We can help the child to get the necessary help they need. Every child deserves to have a good life. Let’s lend a helping hand.

For further information please contact

TOTALCHILD CHILDREN AND TEENS NETWORK
(Non-Governmental Organisation)
18, Anfani Road, Off Ring Road, Ibadan
Facebook page: Totalchild
Instagram: Totalchildnetwork
Email: emailtotalchild@gmail.com
Tel: +2348180495451

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