Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

chidike: @ Zubino, 10a.m

deturla: D wait is almost over!!!,to God be the glory...fellow nairalanders,pls wish us God's favour today as we write in Owerri

deturla: Gettin set to move to the test centre,any nairalander dre yet??......giv us d situatn report

chidike: @ Zubino, 10a.m

deturla:



Dear pweetiemama,let 'em bring it on,even if its 200qns.....The lord is our strength,we are fully prepared,if yu had gattecrashed in owerri last week,And u dint get to write d ttest,u'd realise d gravity of wha me'z sayin......buh I kinda doubt d 100qns ish tho....@calabar,twass sttill d same 50qns,tho,am @asaba now,enroute owerri,safe trip ttumao And all da best!!!

cuteyangel: Hard to believe, my story is a miracle.i wrote d calabar test yesterday.did my 1st interview today wich I passed and went further for d 2nd interview.

True NaijaBwoy: Na wa o

I always thought people who divorce must have been lazy in their marriage to keep things together.... but the sad fact is i am now going through a divorce. Its even more painfull to realise the key reason for me parting ways with the woman i still love is simply because she wont address the error of her ways.

Ironically, if she had said, "my husband, i am sorry please fogive me and lets patch things up (even for the sake of the kids)". I would with out doubt reconsider. it would help restore my confidence in her and my marriage.

The harsh reality is without these words, I would continously battle with her in respect of who wears the pants in our marriage. it truly doesnt help that her tenacity is supproted by her family. This truly chops my legs of me manhood and dignity... My marriage is currently the spin off from Eastenders... the family affairs is out there...

Im guessing you want to know what she should be sorry about it will pop out when i get enough feedback from the women out there.

9yrs knowing her, 5yrs married, 2kids later and a divorce............ Ladies, Learn these words, it goes a long way to retaining your marriage " my husband i am sorry"

ibehkc: See group of friends supporting one girl and her bf. Babe, if truly u ve a bf and u love him, how come. U give every dick and harry ur number on and offline? All dis ur complain is just too much talk. If ur bf no dey give u wetin u want from dem, den keep shut and go get it silently abi e don dey back fire na im u dey lament. If dem ask those men before verdict everyone will just see ur real image. Una go dress lika ashawo for street and say I dnt care what ppl say and now u re caring what dey re doing. What school re u self lemme rate u. Dump arse nija babes. E be like say na mali self I go go look for wife marry make I get small hope

Tashamania: [size=14pt]I really hate to say this but this is becoming a constant for a while now.
I try as much as possible to stay away from married men who approach me for friendship, knowing fully well that their "friendship" all bores down to one thing and that is : Spoiling you with good stuffs of life and at the end, demanding to see or have a taste of what is underneath!


Seriously, Why wont this married men let us be and enjoy our youthful lives just the way they've enjoyed theirs?
Is this some kind of wickedness of some sort?
Dont they know that by such doings that they are putting at risk their marriages?
Do they want us (the youths) to suffer the same fate in our marriages (i.e, our own husbands going after young girls too)
Do they want to marry us as 2nd wives or they are just out to spoil our future?!
Is it that they are not happy with their marriages? I dont get it!


I face these almost in my everyday life,the single guys keep coming with the married men ( even those that pretend they are not married) what da heck?! I received the most embarrasing call of my life #days back at about 10pm when a lady called me to stay off her marriage and if not, she knows all my details on where I school and would come haunt me down and am like what the heck again? Whose fault is it this time? The saidman told me he wasnt married! Nawao!
And I wonder where the silly man was at the time his wife was using his cellphone to make this call and threaten an innocent girl like me

Not just that am facing it in the real world, even here on NL, married men who dont even deny the fact that they are married keep disturbing for "FRIENDSHIP"! What kind of friendship do you wanna have with a single lady and online?! Abeg and abeg, I dont entertain married men as friends. I'm sounding this clear because of any married man on here that might have been harbouring such intentions! For GOD's sake, Na Swear? You have a wife - for the s.ex and companionship and kid(s), so what again do you want?
I'm tired of all these, I dont know what method to use in telling you people off again o!!

I want to know what such men want. What abeg? This is beyond me![/size]

all-out:
Can someone tell this babe to get her pic off her profile? I`m sure the problem will skyrocket by the time someone who knows this couple feeds back the husband with all that`s transpired on here.

troubledSoul:
tnx alot. i do need more ideas so i can settle for d lucrative one

Vikin:

What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

Vikin:

What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

chaircover:

. . . . another mistake us ladies make. We think that our looks and dressing alone will keep a man interested or on a leash. We forget that He sees pretty and sexy ladies everyday and many men will choose a peaceful and well mannered lady who he can trust with his heart over a dolled up to the nines biatch.

With a bit of brazillian hair and some mary kay powder and a few above knee skirts and heels, most women can look attractive . . . but not all of them have the good manners to go with the good looks and men know that.

Vikin:

That's what they always say, after they start whining like little babies, sorry to burst your bubbles, insist on getting a job on your own.

How do you feel asking for money for everything...feeding, money for fuel, fish to make jellof rice etc. even if you earn 30k, it's something...

After your studies, go get a job, dress very smart and classy-sexy to work, let see if he will tell you marriage is not a do or die affair. (Even if na 25k you collect as salary)

baby_123: There are guys like this. They take that marrying into the mans family very seriously. I once dated someone that wanted me to pretend like my family didnt exist. And this was before marriage o. But he will force me to get to know all his family, and force me to get along with everybody. You did not fall from the sky. Your family cannot just disappear like that. He has to let go of past resentments and move on. Every family has reservations about anyone we marry anyway, so that shouldnt really carry on into the marriage. After all you married him. I am more worried about his inability to let things go, and say hurtful things just to get a point across though. Seems quite childish and a recipe for many issues in the future. You would really have to be careful with offending this one. He has a very long memory.

StateOfMind:

Please calm down and re-read her last post..it makes a whole lot of sense, focus on the message and not the 'messenger'. I was also drawn back reading that statement of yours (my family will be more willing to help than your family bla bla)..and you don't seem to see anything wrong with it. Only jenny pointed it out and I think ileobatojo also mentioned it too.

jennykadry:

I repeat my question, are you 16? I understand perfectly well but If you could not read between the lines in my post then you will never get it. It's like a woman telling her husband that his mum is a witch. Learn to read my lips, you don't tell your husband what you said no matter what, it does not matter if they help him out or not, what you did was mock him and his family, learn to act wise in your husbands house. A man that loves and cares about his family will not take that comment of yours lightly. Rubbing it in his face like he comes from a very unreliable family.

If my husband made that kind of comment in my presence, he is in trouble. What you need to learn in marriage is to choose your words wisely and also learn to shut your mouth when you have nothing intelligent to say. You don't less-appreciate your husband's family members because of money. Like I said, "it's not your call to make"

jennykadry:

Wait a minute, were you drunk or high on weed when you told him the above? How can any sane woman who has only been married for a year tell her husband indirectly that his family won't be there for him during hardship? Whoever told you that it's your call to make? and you expect him not to react? How old are you? 16?