₦airaland Forum

The Bible is an imperialist tool. Why should a white guy like King James tell me what is scriptural and what is not?

@Tudor,

It appears that you are really backed by a strange and powerful supernatural force. I can't believe you are still alive after these continuous attacks on my great Daddy G.O.

Why should he build any hospitals or school when the Lord is always talking to him?

My Daddy G.O has no time for such trivia.

Do you know how many water spirits that my Daddy G.O has exorcised from pretty Lagos socialites?

Do you know how many big charms he has destroyed?

Abeg, leave the governors to do all these important things. My Daddy G.O is a spiritual being.

And I'm really worried about his wrath.

Don't let him see you in his powerful mirror and send you into the great beyond.

Alleluia Somebody?

Alleluia, 3X.

@aieromon,

Who are you calling a psycho, you silly slowpoke?

I am a satirist.

Of course, I don't believe in Adeboye's brand of "false" Christianity. I only go to church to pick up desperate girls who usually end up giving me MouthAction in my flat.

It works nearly all the time. Those airheads love sensitive "born-again" well-off guys.

If you were not brain dead, you would understand that I use my posts to highlight the stupidity of the born-again Jesus freaks that have been brainwashed by these "insane" pastors.

Having said that, you can pick up a copy of that City People and confirm the story.

And yes, I'm putting a call girl through school. It's better than giving money to a thieving pastor to buy a jet.

Chamberlain died a fulfilled man. Imagine the joy of bedding 10,000 women. The wondrous smells of their armpits, their sumptuous lips, their unwashed hair and their secret gardens.

Bliss.

Nirvana.

Elysium.

@ nex

You are a genius.

You should start a church.

A lot of deluded people will follow you.


But seriously, my G.O is powerful O! You should fortify yourself with something if you are going to keep on attacking him.

I'm all for one night stands.

Wilt Chamberlain slept with 10,000 women. He had a grand bed where he conquered them. Over the years, I have realized that women are very funny. After the first session, they usually look you in the face and ask, "Do you love me?"

I always answer yes and then move to the second and third sessions.


I never return their calls on the next day.

Airheads!

I pay my tithes to a Shuwa Arab call girl that is saving to get into Unilag. It's my contribution to the society.

I'm ready for the revolution!!! Join me.

Shit!

I don't believe this.
They have caught the falcon. The king of crooked stockbrokers.

Syphilis messes with the brain. How do you expect him to think properly. Email him at Yaradua@Ymail.com

@UjuJoan


You women think there is something special about your pudenda. It's just a hole. You will get old, start bleaching and your husbands will stray.

Only whores marry for money.

Why don't you go and become Raymond Dokpesi's fourth wife.

Pastor Siju, the sexy wife of one of my favourite pastors, was featured in City People last week. Here's the lovely profile. I love Pastor Siju.

I really love her!!!

From City People, August 19, 2009.


Unveiling The Wife Of City of David's Church's Pastor Siju Iluyomade's Flamboyant Lifestyle


if you are a first timer at the Redeemed Christian Church of God, City of David's Parish, located in Victoria Island, Lagos, you are not likely to miss the beehive of celebrity women of celebrity women who throng the church, which is considered one of RCCG's richest parishes in the country. Most noticeable is the glamour that saturates the entire atmosphere of each service, courtesy of the style statements made by City of David's high class female congregation.

But one person who certainly can't be lost in the crowd of women in the church is the Parish Pastor's wife, Siju Iluyomade. This is on account of her very high fashion style, which even other female members of City of david can't help but recognize. City People's sources revealed that the general saying among female members of the church is that what Siju, who is fondly referred to by her husband, Pastor ID Iluyomade as my Sugar Baby lacks in physical beauty, she boldly makes up for in her fashion statement.


Also a Pastor, Siju, sources revealed is one very flamboyant dresser whose taste for high fashion often see many women in awe of her, and most times puzzled by her expensive fashion taste. According to them, Pastor Siju's style glaringly competes with taht of some of the top celebrity women who are often listed as expensive dressers in the church. Those close to her revealed that not only does she adorn top of the range accesories like gold, diamond and all manner of precious gems, sometimes very casually, but that she is said to have a fetish for designer shoes and bags.

City People gathered that the extremely stylish Pastor's wife boasts of some of the very expensive designer labels in foot wears like Jimmy Choo (where's she's been spotted shopping abroad), Gucci, Rodo, Christian Labourtin, among several other high end labels, all of which don't come cheap.

And when she decides to go native, Pastor Siju, sources revealed collects some of the most expensive laces and headties purchased from some of Lagos top fabric merchants, some of who regard her as a good customer.
And it is for high taste in fashion that sources revealed that some of City of David's female members are not too favourably disposed to her, as she is often seen as being in a show of glitz and glamour, a far cry from what was the case with Bimbo Eskor, the widow of late Pastor Mfon Eskor, who was the Provincial Senior Pastor of the church until his death.

Sources revealed that unlike Pastor Siju, Bimbo epitomized modesty, as is expected of a Pastor's wife's outlok, drawing less attention to herself. And for this, sources alleged has Pastor Siju earned the wrath of some of the church members who are said to be uncomfortable with her flamboyant fashion lifestyle, one that they regard as an undue show off of affluence.

@Tudor,

How dare you?

How dare you question the integrity of my Daddy G.O?

Now you have made me really upset.

I can't even have an erection even when I'm smooching my favourite chorister friend during prayer meeting.

Please don't offend G.O with these heretic posts. He truly has a big all-seeing mirror in his room. Don't mess up your future O!

@Z-Murda,

I've had 3 Winners girls and 1 Christ Embassy freak. Believe me, the RCCG ones are much more adventurous. In fact one of them poured ice cream on my monster schvantz.

I screamed Alleluia.

Umaru has Syphilis.

Yes?

@ Chiejik,

Chukwudi is not a Christian name. It is an Igbo name. Maybe NwaJesus is Christian.

@ all the magas that steal give their hard earned money to thieving pastors. Jesus never said we should pay tithes. If you can refer to Malachi, why reject the rest of the old testament where people were allowed to screw and kill like animals?

Please don't further enrich my G.O. He already owns a jet.

Abeg, enough of all this sympathy and empathy.

My friend, get up and start something for yourself. You don't need to be a slave to be useful. How can you actually let someone order you around.

"Get up and do something"

For the first time in 9 months, I'm using an Internet cafe and the experience is infuriating. It's supposed to be the best in Ikoyi, yet I can't even load Nairaland quickly. No wonder, they are all folding up.

On the morning of Monday, August 17, 2009, the JTF in Sama, Asari Toru Local Government Area of Rivers state executed an unarmed man and dumped his body into the river.

The youths from the area mobilized and carried out a reprisal attack on the army unit responsible for the extrajudicial killing and killed a soldier and went away with his rifle.

Such irresponsible actions by the military even if it is targeted at civilians is not acceptable and can jeopardize the current ceasefire if repeated.

The Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND) stands behind communities who take actions to defend themselves and retaliate extrajudicial killings by the military.

Jomo Gbomo

@nex.

In order to understand the fuelless car, you must be "Redeemed".

AT THIS POINT, PLEASE SAY A SHORT PRAYER AND GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS THROUGH OUR DADDY IN THE LORD, G.O ENOCH ADEJARE ADEBOYE, CON.

After doing this, please take a hose and remove nearly all the petrol in your car.

Then jump into your car and take a ride towards a remote place. When your car runs out of fuel, take a deep breath and pray, speak in tongues and "challenge" Baba God save you from your predicament.


You will suddenly experience a miracle and your car will start moving even though there is no fuel.

In my case, it even drove itself.


"Alleluia". Praise the Lord.

@Jarus


Did Fola Adeola recently comment on Erastus Akingbola? Was it a public comment or a private one? Would love to know.

You guys just don't get it.

The bible allows for remarriage if your wife is guilty of fornication. The onus is on our church, RCCG to prove that Ms Suinner, Ituah's first wife, didn't sleep with another man (or woman) during their marriage. And since, the definition of sex has evolved over the years, this could be very difficult.


As for me, I will continue to enjoy the wonderful sexual benefits of being a "Redeemer". Their girls are the best Christian nymphos I've met.

Please stop criticizing our G.O and his church. These people move in spirit.

Last Sunday was wonderful. The Lord truly ministered to me through my incredible Area Pastor. He looked very grave as he started the sermon. He removed his Rolex and placed it on the dais. Then he took off his thousand dollar Zegna suit jacket. The congregation knew something was amiss. You could have heard a pin drop. I too was shaking.

Pastor looked straight at us and said. "The Lord has told me that there is a woman in this place. She hasn't been able to have children and has been crying to the Lord for help.

"Come out now," he shouted.

After about thirty seconds, a buxom young woman walked gingerly to the altar.

My pastor continued, "The Lord has told me that there is a demonic lizard in your private part blocking your uterus and today I shall remove that evil creature."

"Alleluia," we all shouted.

I shall now demonstrate that we serve a powerful God, the pastor said. He was like a man possessed. "Remove your garments," he shrieked. The lady removed her clothes and stood in front of the congregation. She had the best breasts I had ever seen and her lingerie was something else.

"And your undergarments," my pastor added, without batting an eyelid.

She slowly removed her undies and was now stark naked. I was having trouble concentrating. My penis was rock hard and I was using my bible to cover it.

Then my pastor put his fingers into her vagina and removed an old green lizard.

There is great power in my church. "Praise the Lord!!!"

Please stop criticizing our G.O and his church. These people move in spirit.

Last Sunday was wonderful. The Lord truly ministered to me through my incredible Area Pastor. He looked very grave as he started the sermon. He removed his Rolex and placed it on the dais. Then he took off his thousand dollar Zegna suit jacket. The congregation knew something was amiss. You could have heard a pin drop. I too was shaking.

Pastor looked straight at us and said. "The Lord has told me that there is a woman in this place. She hasn't been able to have children and has been crying to the Lord for help.

"Come out now," he shouted.

After about thirty seconds, a buxom young woman walked gingerly to the altar.

My pastor continued, "The Lord has told me that there is a demonic lizard in your private part blocking your uterus and today I shall remove that evil creature."

"Alleluia," we all shouted.

I shall now demonstrate that we serve a powerful God, the pastor said. He was like a man possessed. "Remove your garments," he shrieked. The lady removed her clothes and stood in front of the congregation. She had the best breasts I had ever seen and her lingerie was something else.

"And your undergarments," my pastor added, without batting an eyelid.

She slowly removed her undies and was now stark naked. I was having trouble concentrating. My penis was rock hard and I was using my bible to cover it.

Then my pastor put his fingers into her vagina and removed an old green lizard.

There is great power in my church. "Praise the Lord!!!"

@ Sonye.

I'm sorry that I disagree with your quotation of the bible. My bible, which was personally given to me by Pastor Ted Haggard who later became a homosexual, says in Matthew 5: 32: "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

In other words, Jesus said it was okay to divorce your wife if she was guilty of fornication. Who knows what Ituah found out about his sexy ex-wife before he ended the marriage?

Daddy has to change the laws as they are obviously not scriptural.

Ladies and gentlemen. We can no longer allow this nonsense. Someone has to kill this man.

The car tale is no joke. I experienced it myself. In my case, the car drove itself.

@ifababa. How dare you challenge my Daddy in the Lord? There is no democracy in Christianity!!!!!

But I wonder why my great Daddy G.O hasn't eradicated the poverty in the country. I usually think about this in church but my area pastor says that I have no right to question Daddy.

@$osisi,

According to my cousin Sandra, who has dated several pastors, a pastor's left ball is always different.