₦airaland Forum

Sagamite: I just lost all respect for you.



With your belligerent, hoodrat lack of humour you missed the joke.

I have told you many times to focus on your boyfriend and stop bothering me. I know i'm that gorgeous but your case cannot be helped. Tuttut

NNEKA2015: i can't take it anymore and neither can he as well.

Have you both already spoken? What has he said?

Just noticing this, im quite curious. If you have both spoken it's obvious you both reached this conclusion. hence his bad attitude?

Sagamite: Copyright infringement!

Wey my lawyers.

Of course! With the 'intelligence' you created the word cretin! Arrow!

ayo jango: Divorce is good,its borin seein d same face of someone u hate,samething I went thru wit my wife I did not only stop makin lov to her,I did not let her c my unclothedness.its not by force to live togeda

Dear lawd! Lol.

dasparrow: ..........And she will find another man. Marraige is to be enjoyed and not endured. I don't know why Nigerians are such wicked people. How are we sure the man she is married to is whom God wanted her to marry? Why are Nigerians such sadists? You want her to raise kids in an unhappy home? what rubbish!

Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured.......love it! Unfortunately not in nigeria. Marriage is the beggining of hell for most!

Sagamite: Look, I am a very, very smart guy. I am extremely intelligent and have a ridiculous level of prescience.

Trust me when I say: You are really going to have a miserable futurein terms relationship.

That is not an insult or provocation, that is a pure fact from the pesonality you exude.

Go and write it down in your diary that that Sagamite told you this on the 12th of April 2012, so you can refer to it when it downs on you in middle age and the future looks dim and non-existent.

Aww fagamite, misery loves company i know but i'm afrain i wont be joining you in dying alone. I know no woman can stand you and your self proclaimed intelligence (gimme a break) but that doesn't make us the same.

I dont need to write anything you say i'm very aware you are full of shit. You note down today as the day you fully realised you are no psychic. This thread isnt about me but i'm loving the celebrity status regardless.

You know you know love me....but i don't do gays!

maasoap: This woman has been cooking for him for the part six years, and probably before they married. He just realised now that her food is not spiced enough. Six good years of sex, he just realised that the woman lacks sexual prowess.

God bless!

Reference: Pardon me ma'am. You said your husband is a pilot and ermm.... drinks a lot. Ermm.... can you tell us exactly what he pilots. Just thinking.... frustrated, drunken pilot, hmm.

Omg! lmao!

davidylan: huh? You seriously believe that? I have an island to sell to you dear.
Infact i would prefer not to have to strain my eyes reading your immature nonsense on threads like this. Pls humor us by moving over to the jokes section. Trust me, i wont follow you there.

Ill do you a better favour and just ignore you from now on

davidylan: Your posts are generally dumb to be honest. Nigerian marriages are not the only ones with weak women who put up with abusive husbands.

Yet here we are, you continuosly quote me ,continuosly try for my attention ,argue my soo called dumb posts and want me to hear you. Is that what you also look for when in a debate? Well done

neyostica: shutup and stop talkin like a 15yr old, the man didnt just change over nite(nobody does), she just needs to figure out the problem and make adjustment, a real woman works on her mariage to make it work not jumpin from one husband to anoda in d name of happiness.

Ooooo ,i see. The man behaving that way is of no fault of his own? But the woman that refuses to take it is the winch?

So you are advocating a man being rude to his wife? Well done. My conversation with you is over. I cannot reconcile with your moronic way of thinking. Good luck with your life.

davidylan: Go right ahead and divorce your own husband my dear. Come back and tell us how that worked for ya and your poor kids. SMH

First thing i always ask my women - if divorce is going to be an option for you going into marriage then lets just shake hands and go our separate ways easily. No point being with a woman who isnt willing to be patient enough to work through normal marital problems.

Why are you here crying again? Why? If you cannot present a valid argument stfu! All this is petty childishness i have no time for!
Im here to give an opinion and listen to alternatives views ,i quite frankly dont give a sh*t what you request from anybody! Mshew.
why dont you go ahead and start insulting your wife when she gets fat and come back to tell us about it eh? Thats a better option mshew

StateOfMind: You guys should quit this immature whining! Give your advise and let the Op select and chose whatever advice suits her.

You keep screaming these people are pro-divorce ,but I hardly see them advocate divorce. Or is divorce the only thing you can infer from standing up for yourself, don't let anyone shatter your self -esteem?? Y'all can't share the same opinion, so please stop all these 'take my advice' don't listen to the others. Its not some sort of competition, is it?. At the end of the day the poster \ observers pick the ones that suit them.

Ps- I'm not new here. Been a guest for years.

God bless you! I dont even know where they read i said she should divorce! i dont even think the ops case is enough for divorce! these people are just soo damned consumed in thier unhappy marriages they throw tantrums at anyone that disagrees! Kilode! if we all had the same mindset this forum wouldnt even exist!

Tgirl4real: wow @ Analytical,

I love your post. It was detailed and well written though I don't agree with a point.

Just wondering . . .how come women don't take their frustrations out on their hubby wen they are stressed from work, kids, chores and a thousand thing that crave their attention? Just wondering o.

I can imagine some do its probably natural. It's not right though and theres no reason anyone should endure it.

People simply need to find other avenues to vent thier fustrations. Certainly not abuse their families!

neyostica: like i said, its either you are a teen or she-devil or stupeed. what makes you think the problem op is having cant be fixed? there was happiness and love before in their relatnshp which can be reignited, she knows her husband better, all she has to do is analize the relatnshp and see where it all went wrong.

There can be happiness and love in a marriage where the husband is rude and abusive? Nigerian style happiness she? The one that involves suffering and smiling. Well done.

She doesnt need to analyse anything ,it went wrong when her husband started to moan. If something was wrong he should simply say and they will resolve it. He's a grown man and not a child, he has lost respect for his wife and thats what needs to be regained. It wont get any better if she's adamant to staying in a situation where she is being treated badly. She recognises her options and is willing to take them. Thats a woman that will truly be happy and not maintain false confidence from the delusion of being in a happy marriage!

So what exactly was the point of your post david? What is the point you are trying to make? What in what i've written did you not get?

Bawss1: There is no man alive with red blood in his veins that will not consider the looks of his wife as very important. So many men have indeed based the choice of their life partners on this quality alone, a fact, though not recommended, that suggests the very high pedestal that this quality is placed. Anybody who says a woman's looks is secondary is being hypocritical. I say this not to encourage the trend of superficiality that results from an exaggerated consideration of physical beauty but I feel it is very necessary that girls and ladies owe it to themselves to maintain a sense of beauty ALWAYS.

This will probably sit with some as being chauvinistic but that's a risk I'm prepared to take.

This has nothing to do with what im saying, nobody wants an ugly partner. You may use it as a basis for choosing your partner ,but if you stake your marriage on it it wont last! Because....guess what her beauty wil not!!
You cannot place the value of anything on looks because it fades! You certainly cannot begin to abuse your wife when nature takes its course!
No red blooded woman wants an ugly husband but they dont go throwing fits when he starts growing grey hair and becomes bald in the middle?
Only the mature should marry, it seems immature men not ready for what marriage is about are the ones getting themselves into a pickle!

Lol, it will be nice if i could see the reason behind bending over backwards to please a man but i can't.

I believe both parties should care enough about each other to make things work. How many women will get married if the husband openly declared his love and affection will only last as long as her good looks? So how is not looking like before now an excuse for a man to be rude to his wife?

This penis worship mentality we got going on makes me feel sick every time.

Lol you ladies are very funny.

What does it profit me if the op follows my advice? Its her life.

Its not actually abt marriage vs divorce, its about happyness vs misery, no body should place their value or happiness on a situation that can very well change, and you shouldnt teach your children that either.
You say breaking the family up, what is being broken? The bond between a miserable wife and her abusive husband? Is that the situation people are soo desperate to save?

Its funny nobody has even said she should divorce him by all means. Its the people that insist she should stay by all means that are busy defending thier stand. Obviously because you all know how senseless the information you are giving is.

If you made sense you won't be soo afraid of these 'cabals' spending every post trying to convince the op.

If anything the 'stick with you horrible husband' club are the ones in horrible marriages, it has become normal and they want to know others are doing it too. Every woman has her priorities we are not all the same.

Its likely the op works out her issues anyways because it doesnt seem that major, but im marvelled at the level of insecure women and men we have here labelling people with alternative views homewreckers. How are we wrecking the home when the husband is the one out there misbehaving? Is he tidying the home in that case? Get over yourselves!

^^ in fact i am overly fed up! People will honestly justify a man killing his wifes confidence because she put on a few pounds. A man placing the very foundation of thier marriage on how she looks. Looks that will always fade!

Its the men that need to fix up! Im sorry but no woman can look beauiful forever! If your husband can only love you when you are pretty its a short term marriage you will get!

neyostica: Smith, will you just shu.t up, what kind of stupeed hapiness will she get if she leaves ha man? do u profit from breakin homes or r u just a she-devil?? I wanna believe u r a teen, odawise u nid to av ur head checked

you are obviously a slowpoke.

a deluded one at that, if a marriage is making one unhappy what does common sense suggest to you? How is staying in a bad marriage going to improve anybodies life? Dont make me laugh please.

The home breaking bs- if anybody is breaking their home it's the husband, i will be encouraging the husbands folly if I insist the op should remain where she is by all means. You may be an advocator of remaining in a miserable home but it's important to some to have dignity! kmt

peaceheartt: My dear, this is not the time to start thinking of divorce, this is the time to work and pray.

Two important statements you made in your post, and based on this, I think u shldnt contemplate divorce,

"I don't want my kids to grow without their father because they are just getting to know him"
your kids still need their father,(especially if they are still very young). taking dem away from their father may affect them negatively for the rest of their lives.

"i know he loves me and i feel something for him"
There is still something there btw u two, he loves you and u feel something for him.

Your marriage need a spark, you have to work at it, prayers would help greatly, but you need to make some physical efforts like taking care of the areas he pointed out, "he complains about everything from my , shoes ,dress to my hair , my food,.......improving in making love"


Marriage is not a bed of roses, we all have our issues and crosses to bear, divorce is not the answer!

I wish you all the best as you take steps to bring back the spark into your marriage!

This advice is best suited for someone who doesn't know what it's like being happy.

I'm only here because my POV is different, you might benefit a little more than hearing most of the posters (with the same mentality) repeat the same thing over and over again. The general song i'm hearing is 'stay in the marriage it's actually not that bad'

I have alot of respect for you because unlike most of the women that come here for help (most of whom their husbands have put them through 10x more torture than yours) you seem to hold yourself in high esteem.
You know what you want, you know you're not getting it, you want the misery of a marriage you're in to end.

The only problem is you havent told us whether your husband feels the same, we don't know if he also wants things to work, or if he's having an affair, if he's being bullied somewhere and bringing the bad attitude home.

You and your husband need to have the pre divorce talk, both of you need to decide whether you want to continue and if you are going to seek counselling to make it work. Unlike what most women here have assumed, It takes more than a desperate women doing everything to please her distant husband to make a marriage work. He may feel exactly the same as you but not want to say, he may be sending you a message through his attitude. It's not normal for a marriage to be devoid of trust.

You need to send the kids somewhere for the weekend and have a lengthy conversation with your husband about the marriage. Tell him how you're feeling, that you're thinking of divorce. That may even force him to straighten up knowing his wife wants to walk. Let him know you still love him and want to make it work but not at the expense of the happiness you once had.
good luck

suscribing, it will be nice to hear from someone that has gone backpacking before. Esp in the uk. Wanna try a different type of travel.
and if there are nigerians living in france i seriously need to hear where you all go!

I know, friends and family can make alot of things seem easy. We begin to question ourselves when it seems we dont get easy things right.
Tbh if we open our eyes wide we'd realise it's not. There are many single 25 yo women out there many single 25yo men. The difference is they do not wear thier singlehood like a disease that cannot be budged!
You have to look at finding the right person as something that will always happen, and focus on enjoying your life rather than eat sleep amd dream husband. Allowing such pettiness to consume you. Do you want to have the children now when you havent finished school??

Mkpakala: my dear this is not something you just wave hand upon.sometimes it is always bigger than what you think.i have a friend who was shot two years ago, and the story had it that the younger brother of his wife shot one of his gang member's uncle in a robbery which the gang member gave out the information and they agreed that they will not kill the man. in the process of the robbery the uncle did not comply with instruction,my friend's wife younger bro mistakenly shot the man, after one year or so they decided to rob my friend the then gang member saw that as opportunity to retaliate his uncle's death shot my friend.the whole story came out when the death of my friend tore the gang apart because his wife younger bro (the black sheep) felt bad that my friend was shot even when the guy gave everything and complied fully with their instruction.

the point is black sheep inlaw can cause a hell lot of havoc which may be irreversible. so think am well before belle go begin dey purge you for beans wey another person chop.

Last time i checked, major crimes were not commited within families. And can you vouch for what every single one of your family member is doing at every point in time? For all one knows thier whole family can be made of criminals. I dont see why it should affect the op. He is not the father?

Its a trivial matter for one to grow hypertension about.

EVery family has a black sheep, im sure there is a less than savoury character within your family. Your girlfriend turned out well and you said for yourself most of her family members are fine. Its rather naiive to want a perfect woman to come from a perfect family. Dont be greedy with fate! lol

And its good you know her family, most dont even get to know the relatives until the drunken drug riddled brother stumbles helplessly onto their doorsteps. Welcome to the family!

It is very very very possible. And even easy gan sef. Britons spend alot of money on food and dining so i wont be suprised if most city workers spend that much on food.

But being prude when it comes to food isnt normal? You've assumed your habits to be normal britons don't spend minimal amounts on food, thats why there is soo much of it. I think the average mean is £5 if i read the last survey correctly. So anything below that will be considered low quality and anything above a luxury.

When I was a student I remember being the only one amongst my friends that cooked. They tend to eat what they see. And order lots of pizza! Some order chinese every blessed day for dinner, that's not extreme at all. Unless you will consider a whole nations diet extreme??