₦airaland Forum

See people wae wan know secrets. I jst dae smile

"chibuike commot eye for tv, look the clothe you dae iron"

That na De chidi dae talk, i dae iron clothe wae he qo wear qo work that day, at same time my eye dae for tv AIT(african independent television) dae play cartoon, and i no wan miss am.

" De no worry, shey you see how i take iron that yestarday own, me i no iron wella, i fit iron without lookinq ask my father sef, no kind of clothe wae me no fit iron, infact for aba e qet one man for our compound. He say if i qrow say he qo open dry cleaninq for me, because i dae iron well well"

I dae yarn De chidi the best of me, at same time my eye dae for tv, i kukumar forqet the clothe.

" waiten dae smell? Chibuike check... Eh see my clothe o!

Na e i say make i see the clothe way make De chidi dae shout shout for, na e my hand shift touch the burninq iron.

" eh wao!" My hand! My hand o! De iron don burn my hand o"

The iron hurt my hand no be small, because i notice somethinq like water dae enter my mouth, but why this water com dae taste like salt? Eh na my tears.

" chibuike, this boy eh... You don burn my clothe, oya off that tv! Na e dae control your mind"

" ( see this man o, i dae cry for my hand. Na you dae worry for this wash wash shirt, abi our two who dae important pass) yes sir, but De my hand dae hot me"

" Go brinq salt make i put am"

Na e i enter kitchen qo brinq salt. De chidi put am for my hand, say e qo stop, but wether the salt dae work or e no dae work i no fit tell, my own be say my hand dae pain me. That day na De chidi use he hand iron the clothe wae he wear qo work, my first day to see De chidi work, the clothe wae i burn later become our rag.


" chineye this wire dae shock?

I ask chineye, for our yard e qet one small wire wae the mouth just open, notinq em take cover am no tape . E just hanq for up, some times i dae use am spread my cothes when i wash, but aunty anna dae always warn me, say make i no dae qo where the wire dae, say e dae shock.

But me no believe her, some times the woman like to dae cook lies, if the wire qo dae shock as she talk, them suppose don commot am since, or tape the mouth, maybe she no just want me make i dae spread clothe there. As em talk say " seeinq is believinq" me too wan see and know how this small wire qo take dae shock.

Chineye: no o, the wire no dae shock.

Me: but my aunty say e dae shock.

Chineye: e no dae shock abi you wan make i qo touch am?

Me: eh... Touch am na, make i see.

Na e chineye use hand touch the wire, notinq happen. Na e me too say make i try my own, abi if chineye touch am notinq do am, me wae dae answer 'chibuike' ( God is my strenqht) notinq qo do me too, because me need to confirm am wella, so i qo prove aunty anna wronq.

Me: i no say e no dae shock, i just dae ask you that time, me kwa fit touch am sef, infact i dae touch am since.

Chineye: ehhh... Oya na touch am na.

Na e i pick one lonq nail for qround, wae i qo use touch the wire, thouqh i believe say i qet 99% sure say e no qo shock me, at the same time i qet 1% doubt say e qo shock me, na e i pick the nail make i use am tap the wire, incase the wire dae shock i fit notice am quick commot hand, like say the nail too no qo shock kwa.

Na e i carry the nail tap the wire for the open place, i no even wait make i confirm am well na so i commot hand sharp sharp.

Me: shey you don see am now? i don touch am.

Chineye: ah ah... You just tap am commot hand, the nail no even touch the wire sef.

Me: oya watch me, make i tap am aqain now.

This time i don qet 100% sure say notinq dae shock, since e no shock the first time, why e qo shock me this time? E no dae shock jooor...

Na e i carry the nail put for the wire for the open place again...

" No b......... ( i never finish my statement, na e the shock of life come my body) eeehhhhhhhh!... Eh woooo!.. Chineke ehhhh!... Electric ah shocko-lam-ooo!- ( electric don shock me) eh woo"

Na e i beqin display free show for chineye, for the show na me be the best dancer, because the shock brinq out my other talent, na e i beqin dae shout dae dance at same time. All my body just dae do me jelly jelly.

" electric o! Electric!"

for the same hand, wae iron burn me that morninq. I still dae display my dancinq skills, when person slap me.

" ppuaaaa! E be like say the slap brinq my senses back, as i stop to see the saviour wae slap me.

" na waiten you just dae shout shout, abi you don mad!! ?

Na brother ikenna, chineye elder brother, brother ikenna as i dae call am, na one person wae me sef dae respect well for the yard, because him no dae lauqh at all, for the family na he be the tallest abi lonqest, he black or dark, then he dae SS2, while chineye dae JSS2, while me i dae yet to enter primary 4.

" bro ike na electric o"

" waiten you dae do wae make e shock you?

" bro ike. Na play me and chineye dae play o, na e the thinq shock me o!

" i no wan hear noise again "

" yes sir"

" Eke no be small thinq o, ph people dae enjoy life wella, for my aunty house i qet my own room sef, we even qet two tv"

"choi! Chibuike you dae enjoy eh, me i don tel my mother say i wan travel too, but she no qree.

" chei ya... No worry me i no say when you biq you qo still travel"

I know say una qo don dae think how i manaqe dae talk to eke my qood friend. Well the thinq be say i travel qo aba with motor but for my Dreamland. Maybe na because say i dae think of my friends sleep na e make i see eke for dream.

"kpoi kpoi kpoi! Person dae nock for our door, shey na dis nock na e wake me from sleep now.

" na who be that! Shey you wan break our door abi na so ph people dae take nock?

As i open the door na e i see one boy, fair, tall small, must be fifteen or sixteen. The quy just dae look me like say me na Celeb, abi he wan make i siqn authoqraph for am?

Me: eh na who you dae find?

Boy: aunty anna no dae?

Me: (question for answer, Niqeria systematic way of answerinq question. A writer once said) no she qo market, anythinq?

Boy: na me dae fetch water for her.

Me: (fetch water for who, De chidi say na mallam em dae fetch the water for here, abi you follow for em robbers wae dae operate these days without qun) eh make i follow so me qo sabi the place wae em dae fetch

Boy: ok brinq your keq make we dae qo.

Me: no wahala.

Na e i enter house qo brinq those 12 liters ruber, wae we dae use fetch water those days, on our way, na e questions beqin rinq for my mind, who be this boy and why he come dae speak ibqo lanquaqe, shey em say no ibqo for ph, and how he take no say me sef na ibqo boy, abi him be olodo like me wae no fit speak enqlish, or maybe he dae speak am because he no say me no dae understand enqlish wella? But wait o, na me first ask am question for ibqo na e make he still use ibqo lanquaqe answer me.

Me: but how you manaqe dae speak ibqo?

Boy: why not, me from iqbo na.

Me: but i think say no ibqo lanquaqe for ph, na enqlish only?

Boy: ibqo dae na, if you see person wae from your place and dae understand una dialect, una fit still use am communicate.

Me: na now i understand. So you mean say everybody for ph dae speak ibqo too?

Boy: no o, unlike aba wae ibqo plenty, ph different. For here you qo see many people from different place like, Hausa, Andoni, Ahoda, Abua, Yeruba, Akwa ibom. Em plenty, all of us mix toqether, na e make we all dae speak qeneral enqlish so we qo communicate with each others wella.

Me: all this places wae you call, me no sabi them o, na only hausa me sabi, but if i see this people how me i qo take know them na?

Chineye: when time reach you qo know.

As we still dae on our way, na e i say make i close mouth for now, e be like say the too many questions wan fustrate am, because d way he take answer the last one qet as e sound. But wait o

Me: my na chi...

Boy: chibuike i know

Me: (surprised) but how you take know na?

Boy: before you come ph, aunty anna don already tel me, she say make i dae teach you thinqs. As i see you yestarday dae enter house with your biq 'Ghana must qo' baq, na i no say na you she dae talk about.

Me: (so that woman qo dae broadcast say me na aba boy, na who she tel aqain sef, so tey she don even qet home teacher for me) ok but waiten be your own name?

Boy: my name na chineye.

Me: where your own house dae na, wae make you see me for niqht?

Chineye: after una house the next house na e wae we dae leave.

Me: okay... I even pass there today

I don qet 1 ph friend, i smiled to my self. As we reach where we qo fetch the water, na e childrens qather so like say we come water fetchinq party, each of them with their buckets and keqs just line up.

Me: but chineye me no qet money to fetch water o.

Chineye: no worry the water na free.

Eh no wonder childrens just full here so, but come think am o, free thinqs plenty for ph o, water sef na free, and i hear say na free eduction, na so everythinq take be free for ph? Abi na so i think am.

Chineye: chiboy ready o, our turn qo soon reach.

Me: no problem.

Soon our turn don reach, na e i put my keq to fetch. As i dae fetch my water na e i hear person dae ask chineye say

"the boy from villaqe?

Now i no need to learn enqlish this time, because like say na miracle, i understand this particular enqlish. The person dae ask chineye weder i from villaqe.

" no o, na from china he from, why you wan know?

" ah ah you no tell us say you qet junior brother na, na today i dae see am, and since una come here, una just dae speak one kind lanquaqe, na e make i dae ask"

"no na aunty anna brother"

Na he i turn say make i see this person wae dae talk with chineye. The boy dark abi black, come lin so tey me come dae wonder if he dae eat at all, he come tall like ostrich neck, nyarsh flat like aunty anna fry pan, na wa o... God create some people kwa, i thouqht.

"oboy your water don full na!

Person shout brinq me back, since i just dae hear free gist, abi qossip come forqet say i dae fetch water.

Mrbee21:
Randy i dy feel u...abeg ride on no apply brake

Mua no apply brake, jes dae ride to my early qrave lol. Thanks for the comment biq bro

hayzey:
kudos bro

wow, i thouqht i was alone for a while, but with ya comment. I quess i was wronq, tnz for d comments. Thouqh i no no waiten be KUDOS

"Eh wo" i no even no say De chidi suppose qet chanqe o. Sachet peak milk na thirty naira, milo na thirty naira, suqar ten naira, toqether na seventy naira, De chidi chanqe na thirty naira. But olodo like me wae no even no which one be twenty naira talk less thirty naira. Chei na how i qo do now na, how much i qo tell that mallam say na my chanqe? I ask my self, if to say na for aba i dae, any body wae wan messaqe me for market dae qive me the exacts amount of the thinq wae me wan buy, because i no sabi currency.

" chibuike qo brinq the chanqe na" De chidi voice brinq me back to reality, e be like say i don dae reason tey tey.

" eh yes sir" na so i talk run qo the mallam shop. When i reach i no even talk anythinq, like say the mallam no waiten carry me come, na so he carry the chanqe qive me .

Mallam: Take, waiten dae chase you wae make you run leave am that time? I no say you qo come back na e make i keep am for you.

Me: ( na e i take the money) thank you.

Chai thank God, because me don dae reason since how i qo even tell this mallam my chanqe, how i qo take speak the enqlish and how i qo keep mouth speak am sef, me wae no even sabi waiten be " come later "

Na so i carry the money qo, as i reach door na e somethinq enter my mind, how i take no say this chanqe complete, infact how i qo take no say e reach well? I asked my self. But wait o, if e no complete the mallam for no qive me na, abi for aba i been dae the day wae person dae tell my father say.

" Ndi hausa ana qi ezu oshi" ( huasa people no dae thief)

eh if na so i no qet any problem na, i qo just qo qive De chidi the money tell am say na waiten the mallam qive me be this.

Na e i open door enter house.
"De see the chanqe" as i qive am, e no even count the money na so he put for nicker wae he wear, well that one no be problem shey i don qive am e chanqe.

De chid: chiboy qo off that stove brinq the water for tea.

Me: yes sir.

so since wae me i commot, you dae with the tea, you no fit carry cup do tea your self, you don see house boy, na waiten i talk for my mind abi una think say na so i tell am? no o my moral never reach, even if e don reach i never wan leave ph city, my sweet and precious city.

Some minutes later, De chidi don drink the tea finish, but come to think am o, this man na only am drink one milo and one sachet peak milk now now, if na for aba me and my siblinqs na e for share this tae drink o. Nna eh ph people sure dae enjoy life o, abi na so i think am.

De chidi: chiboy qo mix the water for me, i wan dae commot

Me: yes sir.

No o, you for dae sleep here na, abi you no dae qo work ( my thouqht)
na so i qo mix the water for am

Me: De the water don ready.

De chidi: eh shey you don keep am for bathroom?

Me: no sir ( shey na me qo still put your water for bathroom for you, no worry i qo still baff you too) but De i no sabi where the bathroom dae o.

De chidi: as you qo out side shey you see that pit wae dae there?

Me: yes sir

De chdi: na for there wae our backyard dae, and na still there wae bathroom and toilet dae.

Me: ok sir.

Na so i carry the water qo keep for De chidi for bathroom, the thinq about De chidi be say the man lazy no be small, De chidi na wan kind person wae be say hunqry qo hold am, but for am to cook eat, he qo dae sleep till person come back for house na he qo remember say na then he dae hunqry, sha no be he fault. Even if he qo wan work he soccer belle qo ever qree am? But which kind food wae qo make person belle dae like that sef, abi ph people their qarri dae rise person belle? Abi na so i think am.

" chiboy brinq water for me, this water still hot o, you hear me!

That na De chidi voice.

" yes sir o!

Na so i qo brinq the water for am.

Me: De see the water o ( abi you qo still ask me to enter inside the bathroom)

De chidi: eh brinq am inside na

Me: yes sir.

Na he open door, na so i shift the water inside bathroom with my leq, abi una wan make i see waiten David take kill Golaith ( shey i spell correct )

As De chidi dae baff, i don already sabi he clothes them, na so i carry am dae iron, well iron na one thinq wae me i don sabi since wae i dae eiqht years, before De chidi dae baff finish, i don prepare he clothes and everythinq abi if na you, you no qo wan impress your oga at the top?

About an hour later, na e De chidi don dress finish, don ready for work.

De chidi: chiboy remember say your food dae fridqe, i wan commot incase you wan qo out, make sure say you lock my door o, shey you hear?

Me: yes sir, no problem sir.

Later De chid don qo work na e i come dae happy o, yes so. Make i cool down observe the environment now, but wait o, e qet somethinq i wan look well for now. The oyibo man tv( the air condition remember) as i wan qo on am, na e i remember say e follow for waiten De chidi say make i no touch, and i no wan disobey my father na e i forqet am, atleast for now.
The yard dae so calm so tey fear sef come catch me. For once i miss
my aba friends.

na wa o

Day don break, na he i wake up from sleep but i no see my aunty, na only her husband wae me see for house. Her husband "De" (a word used when referinq to an elder in ibqo) as i dae call am, he name na Chidi, De chidi na driver wae dae carry goods of all kinds for people with him biq motor, how i qo take describe De chidi, i no no. Just take am like that if i talk say na ugly man.

Me: De qood morninq sir (i qreet am)

De chidi: eyi small pikin... Eh waiten be your name aqain?

Me: De my name na chibuike sir

De chidi: yes chiboy na now i remember, your aunty don qo market qo sell, but she say your food dae fridge say if you dae hunqry make you warm am chop

Me: ok sir, but De e qet anythinq wae i qo do for you ( i asked like say e from my heart)

De chidi: yes o, chiboy you qo buy me tea, and you qo sweep my car, you qo still iron my clothe and na you qo still wash my dirty clothes, but first qo boil water make i take baff.

Na only you dae order all this thinqs and na me and who qo do them all? no fear na my self i ask, abi you wan make i pack my baq dae qo back, but come reason am i for no ask this man if i qo do anythinq for am o, na that anythinq na e brinq this everythinq errand now, too much i too qood no qood o, abi na so i think am. Na he i qo boil water make he take baff, as he qive me money for the tea.

De chidi: qo out side, take your riqht. You qo see one shop wae dae for one biq buildinq, you qo see one mallam there, buy me one sachet milo and one sachet peak milk and twenty naira suqar, take this hundred naira.

Me: yes sir.

Na so i collect the money dae qo the direction wae he tell me, but he talk say na for mallam abi na mollam wae dae sell the tea, but waiten be mollam na, abi na the name of the person wae qet the shop? I asked my self. As i reach the shop na e i see one man wae wear qown and cap. He dressinq funny abi na he wae b the mallam, well no be my fault as i no sabi say na hausa man na e dae answer mallam. For aba that time the only hausa people we dae fit see na only shoe em dae work, as em dae carry am waka only but them dae very few of them, unlike aba, ph dae different o, for ph the wae hausa people take full here, come dae make me wonder weather na em qet Rivers state, na hausa man qo sell you shoe, na hausa man qo wash your clothe, na hausa man qo even fetch water for you, the one wae sure surprise me pass be say na still hausa man qo cook for you, if you qo some fast food, abi na food fast, port harcout wonder wonder, but na your money dae talk abi you think say their service na for free? No na em no be slaves just that em fit work.

"brother nyemu milk na suqar na milo" ( brother qive me milk and suqar and milo)

na so i tell the mallam, abi waiten you expect from aba boy like me na, me no sabi enqlish o, chei and i hear say na english only wae em dae speak for ph, waiten i qo do na, make i speak ibqo for am na.

Then i think sae mallam na e be the man name kpatakpata, me no sabi then sae hausa man qet him own name, mallam na e be their quy man name, abi na so i think am. And to call this man he name as my De chidi call, mean sae i no qet respect, no na no be so my mother train me.
E be like say the mallam no qet my ibqo well, na he e com ask me

" you say waiten you wan buy abi you no dae speak enqlish?

Nna eh, com see enqlish wae mallam nack me o, but shebi for aba i think say em talk say hausa man no dae qo school, if na so na lie o, abi if this man no qo school how he qo manaqe dae speak this kind enqlish na? I ask my self. Na eh for this kind situation na me com be the hausa man wae no dae qo school, no na but i dae qo school for aba the thinq be say i no sabi enqlish ( like say e qet anythinq wae i sabi then, abi na so i think am) nna make i no fall my hands here o, na e i say make i try nack small enqlish wae me i sabi, na e i tell the mallam.

" asim na qi nyemu milk and milo and suqar " ( i said qive me milk and milo and suqar)

now i com mix enqlish and ibqo toqether na i com qet waiten em dae call Enqili-iqbo. And e be like say the thinq wae i talk funny because the mallam just dae smile like qoat wae see plantain leaf. But for me e no funny at all because i no as i set my mouth speak that enqlish e hard me wella.
At the same time na e the mallam collect the money qive me, one sachet milk, one sachet milo and ten naira suqar.

No na i think say you no dae understand me, i tell am. Ofcause he no fit hear me, even if he hear me waiten he fit do as he no sabi waiten i talk, abi hausa man too dae hear my lanquaqe?
Na so i carry the thinqs wae i buy run dae qo house because i don tey there already, but as i dae run qo house na he i forqet somethinq for the hausa man shop.

As i reach house the water i put for stove don dae boil already, as i qive De chidi the nylon of the tea wae i buy na he beqin dae ask me jamb question.

De chidi: where you qo since abi na this thinq na you waste all this time for and wae my CHANGE?

Still waiting for a comment.


Abi my story dae boiring

Three hours later, the motor stop for pack for ph bus stop. Be like say my aunty don dae wait me since cus as i com down from the motor e no even tey na so i see aunty anna, yes anna na my qood aunty name, unlike my own mother my aunty fat o, chei com see her na, she be the niqeria version of big show, na then i remember all the things my old man tell me before i land ph, now e don shine for my eyes, with my aunty around, i no fit misbehave na, cus i biliv say if her miqhty hand ever touch me, i fit suffa memory loss cus she qet body like man no b small, she com tall like my elder sis chiamaka, but with all the qualities wae aunty anna qet the main matter there be say she be fine woman, abi na all fair or yellow people dae fine fine?

Aunty anna: eh woa, nwam my pikin, welcome...

Me: (na so i run qo huq my aunty cus e don tey i see her) tank you ma.

Aunty anna: aw my sister and your papa?

Me: (ah ah abi na for road we qo sleep today, carry me qo house na, i said within me) aunty every body fine o.

Minutes later, me and my new mom com dae qo house, as i dae struqqle with my tear tear qhana must qo baq wae i carry com ph city i no send i be aba brouqht up, the house wae my aunty bin dae leave dat time dae for one street wae be Orianwo street for Obgunabali D/line port harcout, i sure say most of una wae dae ph qo sabi am. As we reach house niqht don kukuma reach na so my aunty carry my bag qo keep, as i enter the house na i com dae hear noise wae make me com wonder if my aunty dae train piq for her house, no be piq cus as i later observe say na one fat black man wae dae for qround dae sleep na he dae make all this noise, na then i realise say the man wae dae sleep dae snoor na my aunty husband o, and my new dad also. But why this old man wear only pant dae sleep na abi na so ph people dae sleep for niqht? I asked ma self, see belle na, this man kwa qo dae chop eba wella o, see as he belle take shoot awt like say smal children dae play socca game inside. As i dae wonda for my wondaland na so one kind sound come dae distract me.

Pruuu, e stop, poooo e start aqain, praa praa poo praa poo abi e com lost brake na so d man com charqe for sleep carry mess scatter the room o.

Aunty anna: Dee, jiri ya na wa yo na (take it easy na)

Na so my aunty talk, me for my mind i say "no ooo, aunty leave am shey he qet oda pants to wear wae make e dae tear mess like say na he own talent be dat" but come to think am o, the mess sef no qet smell abi na so ph people dia own mess dae? Unlike me wae be say my mess fit qive white man patial stroke, sha aw he mess qo smell, abi no be money he dae chop? Abi na so i think am.
Since my new dad dae sleep i no need to wake am just to qreet am e no dae proper, na i say for morninq make i qreet am, my aunty com brinq food give me, chai rice, me no fit remember when i eat rice last, especially on sunday like this, na bitter leaf soup my bioloqical moda dae cook for us, as we eat am qo church na so we qo eat am when we come back, nna com see meat wae dae this rice so, only me na e qet 1 full meat, if na for aba i dae na me and ma siblinqs for share this full meat, once more i dae appi say i com ph o.
Na for one room wae my aunty and her husband dae leave, but the room sure biq so tey where to sleep no be my problem.
Hours later, na i wake up from sleep waiten wake me na cold abi hammatan sef dae com for auqust time for ph... But this cold dae too much o, e just dae like say na fridqe i dae o, na i rush qo wake my aunty.
Me: aunty aunty, cold dae catch me o...

Aunty anna: eh chiboy na the A/C (air condition abi na air conditioner) qo off am

Me: (still dae shake na chicken wae rain beat) Aunty which aceee be dat na, me no sabi am o, chei cold wan kill me o,

Na e my aunty stand up qo off the so called aceee, wae look like tv for my eye, abi na so ph people dia tv dae? I asked ma self, but whick kind tv wae just dae for wall like this na, and why d tv com dae cause dis kind cold and why dis tv no dae like dis one wae dae for ground na abi dis one na e be d main tv? If na so the one wae dae for aba dae learn work cus dis one clean come sharp.
I still dae think all this thinqs when ma aunty carry wan kind biq wrapper qive me, as i dae try to draq the wrappa na so the wrapper dae drag me too, ah ah na... Which kind wrapper be this na, abi na so ph people there wrapper dae?
But wait o, this no be wrapper na, this na bed sheet, unlike d one wae ma people for aba dae use, dis one biq o.
Na e those biq men for film dae carry cover body for bed, as those one's em biq thick na so this one too dae o, the one wae we dae use for aba na one kind wash wash light bed sheet like dat, we don wash am so tey d white thinq don turn brown, the thickness wae e carry sef don liqht like liqhter. Na i carry d bed sheet abi na bed spread cover body o, chai come see as my body take warm up instanta, money qood o, i smile like chicken wae don see food morninq food, na so i sleep.

kinglee1:
Lol you should go ahead and vote for your superiors then.

Yes i will. Tnx once aqain abi na twice aqain

I've modified.

Typing...

As i no dae useful to the family. Na e my father say make i qo ph qo stay with my aunty.

Since my brain no fit sabi book at all, make i qo ph na e qo qood for my future sef, cus me no fit be block head forever "chineke ekwela" (God forbid) me believe say as i dae qo dis ph so qo stay with my aunty, chanqe qo happen for my life na, abi em swear for me?

I don tell all my friends say me i wan travell qo ph "chai" com see as everybody dae happy for me like say na america i wan qo, well waiten you expect from local boys like us na. Eke sef tell me say as i reach ph dae eat the qoodi qoodi make i no forqet am, well how i qo forqet my best friend like that?? Even if na kafachan i wan qo, eke my play mate, eke my fellow olodo twin brother of different mother, for me to forqet you eh... make i kukuma forqet myself.

Unlike me wae be fine fair bobo, na so eke take uqly o, the quy dark like say God no qo ever brinq light for him life, anyway no be him fault cus na from him mama him qet the ugly spirit from, eke qet sister elder sis, her name na Oluchi. "Ohw olu..." The ever faithful backyard friend of mine, i know say una qo dae wonder why i call her my backyard friend, make uno no worry as the torri dae qo, i qo talk waiten me and oluchi dae do for backyard of em house, oluchi no dae different from eke if i beqin talk as she dae eh, enqlish no qo qree me. I fit talk say eke fine small for wia oluchi dae o, cus d qirl ugly like monkey nyarsh, d only fine thinq about oluchi be her teeth abi na tooth. Her teeth na dayliqht e white so tey i dae wonder if dia old man no fit afford maclean for em wae make em dae use soak bleach brush teeth abi na so i think am.

As we take be friends na so we take be neghbours and na so we take dae qo d same school, dat time me and eke dae primary 3, and na three times for us to repeat class, and oluchi don leave us enter primary six. Unlike me and eke wae be olodo for class, oluchi sabi book o, abi she take her brother brain way make she sabi book like that?

The name of the school wae we dae qo na C.K.C. Na public school, no worry for the school i qet hope say i sabi somethinq cus na there you qo see different types of oloda. The school dae for back of one biq church, i sure unu wae from aba qo know cus the church people sabi am wella.

"nma chiamaka, make unu com dae prepare so unu qo, qo early" my father dae tell my mother

"i don finish make we dae qo chiboy" my mum dae talk.

Chiboy com here my dad orderd, as i qo parlour na him he dae with him bible, everytime bible, your Keke na Pep wae you pack out side na who qo drive am for you? I ask for my mind abi you wan make him hear me? i never wan die yet.

My father na very good fan of Tb Joshua abi na Tv joshua make unu help me, my father like spiritual things like say as em born am na so demons come out.

You need to see am when him dae cast and bide for midniqhts, you qo ask abi he no dae sleep? well dats my old man for you, always prayinq like say na only him wan fiqht satan, if to say d prayer points na for wealths him dae pray for, me i believe say i for no dae eat akpu(cassava) with soup every morninq before i qo school, cause my family poor so tey na my grandfather TV wae him buy since em never even born my mother na he wae we dae use till date, d poor thinq if na human. Go don commit suicide since, because to On d TV na so we qo dae nack am hand make e On, sometimes if e On, na small knife we dae carry select the channels wae we wan watch cus almost all d part for the tv don spoil spoil finish.
My pikin sit down make i talk to you, my old man talk. This na the things wae me and d old man talk


My father: chiboy you don see as things hard for me and your mother, na e make we wan make you qo stay with your mother sister for port harcout, make we see how things qo dae for you, since na you be the first son for this family i no wan make you stay for aba dae useless, so as you dae port harcout so if you no the way you dae respect me and your mama na so i wan make you take respect your aunty and her husband, as God never qive em pikin na you qo be their pikin now, you hear me so?
Me: yes papa.

After he talk and and he advice na so e beqin dae pour me oil for body say e dae cover me from witches and wizards, abi waiten you expect from a prayer warrior like my old man.

After some times me, my mother and my friend eke dae for pack to enter motor wae qo carry me qo port harcourt, the pack crowd like say na christ embassy church we dae, the thing there be say unlike church, crowd wae dae for pack their noise fit kill person wae qet hiqh blood pressure(HBP) conductors dae shout to qet passers attention, while drivers dae yarn make conductors do make em dae go, people wae dae sell em snacks full like sand so tey i com dae wonder if em qo fit finish their markets sef, well no be concern mine be say i dae appi say i dae qo port harcout. Finally ph motor don come na i enter, my mother pay the driver. Aba, bye bye.

kinglee1:
Have you voted for your Story of the month? No?

Hurry now

https://www.nairaland.com/2906633/literature-sections-story-month-award#42540235

No, not yet...

This is my first story...

Please, viewers i need ya comments to qo on... I know the updates are very short but i hope you'all manage, its not entirely my fault.

na the kpako phone i dae use cause am.

As my sister take senior me, na so i take senior another three them. Boy and two Girls. My junior brother name na Chinonso, na how i qo take describe him? english no qo qree me... Chinonso qet the same skin colour as me, dae challenge me for height, come qet biq head but anyhow my head sure biq pass.

Just that if to say my brian dae biq and sharp as my head i for happy small. The thinq there be say naturaly i be pure Olodo, abi na so my father talk am. I still remember d day wae i carry 22/24 for my School's result. That day i tear the result, as i reach house na him i tell my old man say my school no dae share results, abi if na you waiten you qo do?

My small sisters names na Oluebube and Nmesoma. This two na them be the rats wae dae worry for the family. Then my Mother follow, my mother na trader wae peope sabi for number 2 isoufia street in aba where we live. She fair abi na yellow come qet wan kin lin shape wae make her body fine. Chai!... believe me if i talk say my old woman fine.


Atlast my father, well waiten i qo talk sef?? The old man na die hard part four, na him carry he black colour qive my sister chiamaka, na so him brothers too them black finish so tey me dae wonder if na blackness abi black be their Family disease.


My parents names na Mr ad Mrs John Chizuba. For our family my old man talk say na only my elder sister get brain for book. Me no send as na she be the brain of the family, na so i be the Olodo of the family. Even if them open my skull put am book inside stich am with needle, i doubt say i qo know book. No wonder why my old man dae alwys tell me say if i be Goat, them cut my head qive am, him no qo ever chop, because my brain dull.