₦airaland Forum

Emrich:
After my expectations were shattered and I ended up with nothing after the relationship I invested money and time ended in 2014, I have sworn not to date again till I'm 36 and I don't care if I treat a girl right or not. And any girl that must receive my attention (money excluded of course), will be giving me something in return. Don't care if she thinks she is benefiting or not.

When someone maintains a selfish attitude towards life ( regardless of whether he/she's justified or not ), he/she tends to attract more selfish- minded persons into his/her affairs, not 'cos of any Law of Karma or Law of Retribution, but 'cos by maintaining that attitude, he/she develops an affinity with people who have similar mentality & play the game with him/her. He/she wonders why people around him/her are so mean; not realizing that it is what permeates his/her consciousness that relates to the experiences he/she is having.

Emrich:
After my expectations were shattered and I ended up with nothing after the relationship I invested money and time ended in 2014, I have sworn not to date again till I'm 36 and I don't care if I treat a girl right or not. And any girl that must receive my attention (money excluded of course), will be giving me something in return. Don't care if she thinks she is benefiting or not.

Hmmm!
One girl has disappointed & hardened your heart as a result of which you've now decided to treat any girl that way. It's sad that you related with the wrong type.
One thing I know is that, if one gives "more of himself than one can reasonably afford" with the sole aim of expecting something in return, in most cases he meets with disappointed - irrespective of the beneficiary being male or female. Not all people are loyal.

firstEVA:
my right hand is feeling unusually flexible today, I will really need a face for about a dozen slaps to release some tension, so where are you at the moment?

At your service!
I'm submitting myself with the clear understanding that'll in no way overstep the boundaries of your BF, as my role is for special duties.

ROZZAYY:
U came late I've given out all d slaps alredy

Glad to hear that. All that matters is that you've satisfactorily given that inner urge expression.

firstEVA:
I think I got as much eulogy as I got criticism in that thread.

True!

ROZZAYY:
Spreads flying mat. My own question be say y dis xmas dey do me to slap some guys.
Anyone want slap come here.

At ur service Ma'am.

How I wish firstEVA is around to witness how I am being slapped by her fellow female.
A thread she opened recently on the subject of male hypocrisy & a female in authority slapping her subordinate guy brought her under harsh attack & criticism by fellow men. Come see attack! I was peeping & ROFL......

firstEVA:
Hmmmmm you and op I don't know who I should slap

How I wish I receive the slap on their behalf.
Wouldn't be more fun if you explore exercising your authority & dominant nature over a willing subject, "occasionally" ?

LordReed:
Not yet but the day we derive the capacity to do it ours may be an object lesson for how not to use technology. Unless of course we put aside the nepotism and pull him down syndrome first (not to mention corruption and the host of other ills plaguing us).

I concur!

PRINCEHPXP:
d males benefit alot from dis tin called frnds wit benefit

It all depends. You, the male can make the female benefit a lot too. Just that most of us males are too self-centered.

LordReed:
The darkside of technology. Once a tech exists its almost inevitable somebody will use it for wrong, even the "good guys".

It's rather disturbing!
Mankind is in a situation where our knowledge & abilities far outstrips our moral & ethical development. This is seen in action everywhere - from cloning of plants to cloning of animals, from outer-space exploration to Bio-warfare, & so on & so forth

@ OP, thanks for sharing.
" Forewarned is Fore-armed ".

musicwriter:
Nothing can be done without mathematics!

It's the language of science.

Thanx!

@ firstEVA, slyowokoya, & Evina,
Season's greetings!
Wishing you all, joyous & prosperous new year!

gracile:
tickling works too
tickling works more..

Please, tell me/us more! Kindly expatiate.

# a humble student learning.

ireneony:
am good at it, but when i nag am also good at it.
.........

Hmmm! Both ways!
So, how do you feel, deep down, when you're applying the silent treatment & you notice that the guy is confused & upset?

Hmmmmh!
Some of these facts appear to be so novel & sensational that publicising them would cause a lot of public panic & outcry.
Even here on earth, there're some clandestine experiments being carried out in some laboratories.

(the experiments on the subject of your "moniker" is a case in point. Thank God it has been banned. But who knows........)

@ OP.
From around 1960 to 1988, the Soviets, after extensive research work, made series of attempts to explore Mars. Their efforts resulted in massive failure & some partial successes. Although, needless to say, they incurred heavy loses in terms of money, time & labour, they, however, tumbled on some startling facts about the "Red Planet", Mars, most of which were kept as classified information.
Later, their outer-space program was mainly geared toward the exploration of the planet Venus, which appeared to be comparatively successful.

@OP.
The information & your moniker.
I don't know which one is more thought- provoking!

I understand that the Russians have more information about the planet Mars than any Country.

@ OP.
Your friend's case is not as spectacular as the one I cited. At any rate, what I'll strongly advise him is to:
1) First & foremost, banish all thoughts of fear from himself.
2) Keep an open mind. As time goes on & more incidences unfold, it will be easier to see things in their proper perspective.
Thanx for sharing.

In the winter of 1967, telephones began to play up in one Sigmund Adam's law firm office in Rosenheim, South Germany. Even though no one turned out to be on the line, sometimes all the phones in the practice will ring at once. The office manager complained to the telephone company who then sent some engineers & experts from the Post Office to put things right. They installed a meter to monitor every call but it did nothing to sort out the problem. Rather, the meter showed that dozens of calls were being registered from telephones which the office staff swore on oath were not being used at the times shown on the print-out. As telephone bill rose, & temper mounted, other office equipment began to behave strangely - fluorescent tubes repeatedly twisted themselves out of their socket, light bulbs exploded, pictures rotated on the walls, the electricity supply fluctuated alarmingly. Yet the experts - telephone engineers, electricians & the team of eminent physicists - could find no reason whatsoever for the phenomenon, which had been witnessed by not less than 40 trustworthy people. Finally Dr. Hans Bender was called in to assist in the investigation. Dr. Bender & his colleagues were immediately able to diagnose the cause of the trouble & picked out the source with little difficulty, for they have come across cases like that many times before. He noticed that the phenomenon seemed to flourish in the presence of a 19-yr-old clerk called Annemarie Schneider. Everytime she was away from the office there was peace, but when she was there, the strange event began again. Many poltergeist cases seem to focus on one young person- who may be unhappy & frustrated at the time - as the centre of focus. He or she may not be conscious of it, in most cases.
2) Another possible cause is "Electronic Voice Phenomenon". ( You may google for more info on that)

What To do:-

(to be cont'd)

Possible Causes:
Granted that your story is TRUE.
1) One possible cause may be, either the work of the subconscious mind of an individual around, or the work of the "collective subconscious" mind of those around - a form of "poltergeist" outbreak.
My earlier questions (pardon me) were aimed at narrowing down many possible causes - since your story is not detailed enough to answer some pertinent questions. However, I don't want to bother you with endless questions. Besides, there might have been vital details & some occurrences in the past but probably because their nature appeared to be too mundane, they're likely to have escaped your friend's notice.
Incidences like this one hardly happen in isolation.
For example, ( to be cont'd)

bishopjoe02:
he is married and lives with his wife.
he is a happy and stable guy

Is there any adolescent child living with them?
Also, has he never experienced any "odd" incident before?

@OP, may I inquire:
1) How old your friend is?
2) (a) What emotional state was he just before the incident started?
(b) Whether he is passing through any emotional crisis?
3) Whether he is living alone, or cohabiting with others & what are their respective ages?
4) Whether he has ever experienced any out-of-the-ordinary phenomenon before?

firstEVA:
lol. I like your analysis but knowing that the attention is being shared with someone else is heartrending.

Yes but by now the bad feeling would have turned into something like " insecurity". You've actually shifted ground through your feeling. & the more he succeeds in making you understand him deeper & deeper, the more the quality of your feeling will change & the more you'll find yourselves striking some sort of compromise.

firstEVA:
it's different for the men. Men what sex (most of the time), women want money, care, attention. You see

Yes. I can imagine how demanding & tasking it would be to serve the role of giving you "attention" alone! - what it would take for a man to soothe you, amidst incessant naggings, after you've spent a stressful day when you've lost a protracted contentious case ( considering how personal you can take up matters, at times). Certainly it'll require a man with above average patience, sacrifice, endurance & skill. And yet, after willingly subjecting himself to such strenuous servitude solely to soothen & please you without any favour from you in return, you nevertheless feel bad when he eases some of his tensions with another lady - tension resulting partly from serving you indefatigably.
Can you now see the broader picture?

firstEVA:
*sighs*
....................... she will still feel bad though as women are naturally possessive.
......................

Hmmmm!
This is exactly the point I was trying to arrive at!
When a lady is exercising the liberty of having affairs with more than one boyfriend while, at the same time, denying her boyfriend, overtly or covertly ( through her attitude towards him ) , the right to equally have an affair with another girl, she's seen to be over- possessive.
What fascinates me here is the fact that you know & acknowledge that (some) women are naturally possessive. Under certain circumstances, though, you tend to be over-possessive. Some of the major frictions that develop when you're relating with us(men) could be traced to that. (Pardon my slip of tongue)
( The nature of being possessive is not limited to females, though. There're some men too who are!)


By the way, there are some cultures where it is considered "normal" for a girl to have more than one boyfriend from whom she'ld eventually choose one to marry.
Our changing values.......

emilyone:
Na wah for some men sha

But at 65 blokos never shrink ni

emilyone:
most of those who engage in this unholy act are those who are not happy in their marriage but have no choice but to stay put,..........

Shrink ke
At 65y.o., the average man is still having strong sexual drive. Comparatively, the average nigerian woman's ability to cope with the sexual demands of her husband becomes progressively inadequate, after menopause - as a matter of fact, some women even consider it as a taboo to be having sex with their husband after menopause.
Now, having regard to the fact that sex, for majority of men, is an essential need, at 65yrs old, most men whose wives are non-chalant towards sex will find themselves compelled to seek for an outlet to satisfy that need, to maintain their emotional balance.
This is a fact that some women, particularly those who marry their age-mates early in life, are so ignorant of, until much later in life when issues similar OP's story rear their ugly heads.
I believe that even if OP did not take back the house-maid, her hubby'll ruthlessly seek for means of satisfying the urge boiling within him elsewhere , nevertheless

firstEVA:
it's different for the men. Men what sex (most of the time), women want money, care, attention. You see

Let me put it in another way, for the sake of clarity :
Here's a guy who does not have issue about his girlfriend having more than one boyfriend. She makes him understand that each is playing different role. She has also resolved that she'll not allow him sex until after they've married.
To satisfy his sexual "need", he took an additional girlfriend as a playpartner ( or whatever name you choose to call her ).
Why does she feel bad about him having an affair with his playpartner?
What kind of thought crosses her mind that generates the bad feeling?
( Pardon my curiosity. It is a fact that when we see a situation from a different perspective our feeling also changes accordingly ).