₦airaland Forum

You can only battle violence with violence and you're about to understand why and how

During the days of my Youth service in Ikere-Ekiti, I remember the story of the landlady of a fellow corper. A female.

This landlady was known to rear goats in her compound and was thriving in the business, until one day during my visit, I noticed that her goats weren't as as many as they used to be. I even took note of the absence of a pregnant goat. I got talking with my female corper friend about my observation and she made me realize that all of her landlady goats have been stolen. Even as I write this, I find that revelation difficult to believe, because "fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me"

Could it be possible for someone to steal another person's goats one after the other without such a person taking action, even if that action means selling the remainder of the unstolen goats?

But my surprise didn't end there. It continued after I asked what steps the landlady have taken to recover the stolen goats and or to stop a repeat of the theft and I was given an outstanding and emotionally triggering reply:
"Nothing. She has forgiven the thief"

Let that sink in. Lol

If you haven't let that sink in, I'll now stimulate you to understand the meaning of this story in the way I understand it.

By forgiving a thief that stole all your goats, even the pregnant ones, without catching such a thief, it means that the landlady has resolved that:

1) She'll never rear goats ever again in that compound with her mindset of forgiveness, because if she does, they'll only be stolen. Remember, the thief is still at large. Meaning a source of her landlady's livelihood (a means of cash and goat meat) have been eliminated because of "forgiveness"

2) It means she have subtly accepted the fact that she is a slave for the total gain of another, which in this case is the thief, the 'rightful owner' of her goats

3) She has an opportunity and responsibility to stop the misery of other goat owners who are likely to be stolen from.

All of this misery was brought about, which includes but isn't limited to, the wrong interpretation of a thoroughly edited Bible which not only seek to put powers in the hands of fraudsters in suits and microphones, but offers no spiritual graduation-- you still put your life on hold and run to your pastors to help you interpret a verse after decades, because your brain and spirit is in the backseat. How's can this unhealthy dependence be called growth?

Jesus taught that we should turn the other cheek when slapped, but how can you turn the other cheek when the first slap was powerful enough to take your life?
How can you turn the other cheek when you're already dead!?

If angels are turning the other cheek when demons attack them, do you think angels would still be existing?
You think they wouldn't have been destroyed and probably gone extinct?

It takes wisdom to discern when to receive love and when to give love. It also takes wisdom to say 'no" when offered that which isn't love

Back to the story ---
And when I offered a solution that this landlady was supposed to follow up the thief with juju-induced temporary madness or a "take broom and sweep the ground till I come" jazz, I was met with resistance like "Christ blood have eradicated the ways of the old...blah blah blah" and I just laughed. People truly perish because of lack of truth

How can you really forgive someone that have wronged you when that person hasn't faced justice or when justice isn't or won't be on the menu?
Imagine remembering an experience when you thought that you've forgiven someone, only to feel that emotional turbulence that immediately turns your mood sour? How's that forgiveness?

Imagine that you wrote an exam and submitted only for someone to cancel out your name and write theirs, claiming full ownership of your answer script which you spend countless "till-day-break" just to read and assimilate prior and write on

Now using the twisted teachings of Jesus on forgiveness by various conmen, let me guess what you'd do in that situation: You'll forgive the examination script thief with a smile on your angry face and wait till next semester to write the course again after an outstanding carryover that drags your GPA to the deepest pit. lol.

Well, goodluck with the misery you brought upon yourself.
Left to me, I'll battle violence with violence.
I'll report the examination thief to from the mid-level ranking to the highest ranking school authority. I'll challenge the script thief to a rewrite just so to prove my claim of script ownership, and after my claim has been found valid, I'll arrest the examination thief script and demand financial payment for the stress and negative emotional turbulence I went through. Only after this error have been justified, will I find the easiness to forgive.

NOW DO YOU SEE? Is that model of forgiveness up there based on stupidity or ass-licking?
Do you see how to properly fight violence with violence? Did you notice that violence doesn't mean bloodshed or jungle justice as most people often misinterpret?

But do not get carried away in the fight for justice that you forget the love of being merciful.
If I had charged #100,000 for damages to that examination script thief and he/she is behind bars after facing school suspension and public disgrace, as well as a carryover in that course, and I'm being approached by the family relatives or the parents to reduce my financial compensation to #40,000
I WILL ACCEPT.

Do you want to know why? First, my examination script is already in my name.
Secondly, I've also wrong a lot of people in this life and my past life that if every one of my creditor comes demanding today, I'll also plead with them to tamper their justice with mercy. I'll give to others what I want to receive from others.

Also, be careful not to allow our quest for justice to slip into revenge. There's no point in beating a dead man.
So, after collecting whatever financial compensation that I can and my examination script is already in my name, there's no need to stalk the examination script thief in a bid to carry out any physical harm on them. There's no point. That'll only be revenge.

This is really deep.

Humans were truly created to be free in a way, if not nobody (both the ex-slaves and the ex-slave masters) would have fought against slavery.
We need to be free if not we'd live a life of depression and addictions

But what exactly is this freedom all about?
I think it includes, but not limited to, freedom from controlled thinking, behavior and expression

womilojublog:
Stay where you are.
I mean that with every ounce of sincerity a person can carry in a sentence. Stay where the morning comes to you gently, where the air has not been monetized, where you eat food that still knows what soil it came from and has not been engineered in a laboratory to survive a shelf life longer than some marriages. Stay where your vegetables are grown by hands you might actually know, where the fruit tastes the way fruit is supposed to taste, where the chicken was not injected with anything that requires a chemistry degree to pronounce. Stay where your body is nourished rather than processed.
Stay where you sleep without the low hum of financial anxiety running beneath every dream. Where a hospital visit does not arrive three weeks later as an invoice that makes your knees buckle. Where illness is something to be treated and recovered from, not a financial catastrophe dressed in medical language. Where you do not have to choose, as millions here genuinely do, between the prescription and the rent. Where insurance is not a labyrinthine industry built on the art of collecting premiums and denying claims, where your access to care does not depend on which plan your employer selected during open enrollment and whether the specialist you need happens to be in-network this particular calendar year.

Stay where the bills do not multiply in the night. Where utilities and healthcare and education and simply existing do not constitute a second job's worth of administrative labour just to maintain. Where you are not one unexpected expense away from a crisis. Where financial stability is not a personality trait attributed only to those disciplined enough to achieve it, while the structural reasons it eludes so many are quietly ignored.
Stay where you are not a demographic. Where you walk into a room and are seen as a person first, entirely, without the half-second recalibration behind someone's eyes that tells you they have already filed you under a category before you have opened your mouth. Where your competence is assumed rather than auditioned for. Where your presence in a space is not treated as a question that needs answering. Where you do not carry, alongside your bag and your keys and your phone, the additional invisible weight of representing your entire race in every interaction, of being the example that either confirms or defies whatever narrative the room already holds about people who look like you. Where you can simply be unremarkable in the most beautiful sense of the word just a person, in a place, living a life, asking nothing more of the world than to be met as a human being.
Stay where your dignity is not a political football. Where the person elected to lead the nation does not wake in the morning and reach for a device to broadcast contempt for people who do not resemble him, worship as he does, or originate from the places he deems acceptable. Where leadership still carries some residual obligation toward all the people, not merely the faithful and the familiar. Where a president is not a brand, a grievance, a performance of dominance conducted daily for an audience that has learned to read cruelty as strength and humiliation as entertainment. Where the highest office does not radiate a particular kind of sanctioned nastiness that gives permission to every smaller cruelty waiting in the wings.
America will seduce you with its mythology before you arrive. It has spent a century and more perfecting that particular art. It will show you the skyline and the possibility and the stories of those who came with nothing and built something, and those stories are real they happened, they happen still, and they matter. But it will not show you what those people carried to get there. It will not show you the years of being overlooked, the accent mocked, the name mispronounced with a carelessness that communicates exactly how much your origin is valued. It will not show you the promotions that went to someone less qualified but more familiar, or the neighborhoods that were never quite made accessible, or the quiet transactions of exclusion that happen every day inside systems that swear on paper they are fair.
It will not show you the loneliness of arriving in a country that wants your labor and your taxes and your energy and your contribution to its greatness narrative, but reserves the right to make you feel, on any given Tuesday, that your belonging here is conditional. Subject to review. Dependent on behavior. Contingent on how well you perform gratitude for being permitted to exist in a place you have just as much right to exist in as anyone who was simply born here by the accident of geography.
There are things America does that nowhere else does quite the same way. There is a particular electricity in certain cities, a creative restlessness, a collision of cultures and ideas that produces something genuinely remarkable. There are people here of extraordinary generosity and conscience and courage, people who have spent their lives pushing this country toward the version of itself it keeps promising to become. There is beauty here, real beauty, in the landscape and in the people and in what becomes possible when the best of this place is actually working.
But you, dreamer you who rise without an alarm because your body is rested, you who eat your breakfast slowly and know exactly where it came from, you who do not dread the end of the month, you who have never had to calculate whether you can afford to be sick, you who walk through your days without the psychic tax of navigating someone else's prejudice you are already living something that millions of Americans are working themselves to exhaustion trying to approximate.
Do not trade that peace for a postcard.
Do not arrive chasing a dream that was always partly fiction, sold most aggressively to people from far away who could not yet see the seams. Do not exchange your organic mornings and your unbothered evenings and your deep, untroubled sleep for a system that will ask everything of you and remind you, periodically and without apology, that you are here on its terms.
You cannot negotiate with a country that is still negotiating with itself about whether everyone in it deserves equal dignity. You cannot charm your way past a president who has made his contempt for people like you a cornerstone of his political identity and a rallying point for those who share it. You cannot out-work structural exclusion or out-smile institutional bias or out-perform the low ceiling that certain systems place over certain heads regardless of what is inside them.
Stay where the food is real. Stay where the air is yours. Stay where your peace has not been disrupted by a nation's unresolved argument about who deserves to belong.
Stay where you are already, quietly, profoundly, completely free.
That is rarer than any American dream.
And it is worth more than most people here will ever be able to tell you, because most of them have never known what it feels like to have it.

womiloju blog

Forgiveness is not justice.

Look for a way to poss all incriminating evidence you have against these people, either here or an a platform that you're sure to get results or views, so their act isn't carried out on another.
If you don't, you'll be a sympathizer to such kind of people

Learn to battle violence with violence

Onewazobia:
Hmmmm, I am not surprised by this because I once had a similar experience in Atan, Ogun State.

One of our staff members was contacted regarding a contract opportunity an international University. However, based on the project requirements presented to him, he knew he would not qualify for the bidding process, so he innocently informed them that he had a boss who could handle the job.

They initially claimed to operate an international company that had just entered Nigeria and already established satellite campuses across the country. According to them, they wanted to begin construction work on their permanent site around Atan, Ogun State.

They requested our CAC certificate, TIN number, directors’ details, IDs, evidence of previous jobs, and information about our manpower capability. The staff member who referred me later asked if he could forward my number to them since the date for interfacing with the school management was approaching. I agreed, not knowing I was walking into a serious mess.

The whole conversation started on 13th December 2025. They contacted us almost every day, requesting one document or information after another. They obtained several company details, including ID cards, claiming they needed to conduct background checks before inviting any contractor.

Unfortunately, I innocently sent everything they requested. However, I was not sending the documents directly to them because there was a third party involved, and I did not want it to appear as though I was bypassing him. Sadly, I failed to properly verify the authenticity of their claims. Hmmm… it is a long story.

Throughout this period, I never personally spoke with them until 2nd February 2026, when they informed our staff member that there would be a physical meeting at the project site on 9th February 2026. That was when I asked him to forward their contact to me and also give them my number.

The first thing I noticed was that their contact preferred chatting instead of calls. I then asked him about his position in the supposed university. He admitted he was not a staff member but a student who claimed to have a good relationship with one of the staff members. According to him, that was how he got the information and decided to contact our staff member to “give it a try.”

Thank God the innocent boy did not go there himself because only God knows what could have happened to him.

Fast forward to 5th February 2026, I contacted their representative to ask for the address and directions to the location. He told me to “come prepared and plan to sleep over.” Immediately, I asked him why I should sleep over. He replied that there would likely be a crowd and that documentation could take more than a day because it was an international university registration process for contractors.

I told him clearly that I would return home the same day and come back if necessary.

On Monday, 9th February 2026, I left my house around 5:00 a.m., to Atan. When I arrived in Atan, I tried calling him, but his number was not connecting. I then dropped a voice note on WhatsApp, after which he instructed me to take another bike to a different location. At that point, I became suspicious.

After he described the location, the bike rider said he did not know anywhere like that around the area. That further strengthened my suspicion. He then started directing the bike rider from one street to another. However, by that point, I had already made up my mind to see the matter to the end. I was no longer interested in the contract itself; I simply wanted to uncover what was going on.

Eventually, he instructed the bike rider to take me to an hospital. On getting there, I met a young boy, probably around 18 years old, wearing a jalabiya and holding a phone and a badly damaged power bank wrapped with plenty of sellotape.

Immediately I got down from the bike, I asked if he was the one waiting for me. He answered yes and said he would take me to an Alfa. I asked, “An Alfa?” and he answered affirmatively.

I immediately requested for his ID card as a staff member of the supposed university. That was when he started talking carelessly. I quickly held him by the waist and insisted that we must go to the police station. He refused.

At that point, it was past 7:00 a.m. I deliberately raised my voice so that people in the community would come outside and witness what was happening. That was one of the reasons I refused to back down.

People gradually started coming out of their houses. I seized his phone and refused to return it until we got to the police station. Later, some community members persuaded me to give him back the phone so he could call the others involved.

They started arriving one after another. I still have videos and pictures from the incident.
The community members questioned them thoroughly. As more men gathered around, it became obvious to everyone that their story was not genuine. However, because those boys lived in the area, many residents were afraid to confront them directly. Some people advised me to quietly leave the place, but I insisted that we must go to the police station.

That was when some misguided youths in the community suddenly turned against me and even started beating me alongside the suspected kidnappers or ritualists — I honestly do not know which they were. Yet, I still managed to hold onto one of them. God truly gave me strength and courage that day.

Eventually, their leader, who they called “Chancellor,” contacted a police officer whom I strongly suspected was connected to them. When the officer arrived, I requested his ID card, and he showed it to me. Even then, I still insisted on taking a separate bike because anybody could print a fake ID card.

Luckily, someone in the community identified him as an actual police officer, so I reluctantly agreed to ride with him.

Before leaving the street, I asked for the phone number of the community chairman, but they refused to provide it. I then begged them to at least tell me the actual name of the street, and immediately I got it, I sent my live Google location to my family.

Hmmmm… Nigeria is truly something else.
When we finally got to the police station, two officers attended to us. Interestingly, they did not take us into the newer building constructed after the ENDSARS protests, but instead into the older office within the same compound.

After a long back-and-forth discussion, the officers asked me what exactly I wanted since no money had been collected from me.

I told them clearly that my insistence on going to the police station was not for personal gain, but simply to play my role as a responsible citizen. I explained that it was now left for the police to conduct proper investigations.

In the end, the police simply instructed them to apologise to me and “be careful about the kind of clients they deal with.”

That was all.

Till today, I still have the chats, pictures, videos, and other evidence from the incident.

Hmm
The morality of continued hardwork is the morality of slaves

Suffering isn't hardwork
https://www.nairaland.com/8603403/moral-continued-hardwork-morality-slaves

That's what's messed up. People compare their standards of sacrificial giving to the story of a man who was murdered by the church leaders, all because his teachings was taking people away from the church buildings.

One is never going to be happy or contented when they set their expectation on something that's unrealistic

Love isn't stupidity. If Jesus came to die for the sins of the world, he would have committed suicide. He wouldn't have waited to be murdered.

fitinwell:
We are not completely saying the same thing,.. your ideology about Christian faith is False, Jesus Christ did not die because he spoke the truth alone , he died so that we can live.. more also His death was Sacrificial emblem for the sins of humanity.

Then Love is selfless, not selfish..

Love exists. It's just that the idea of sacrificial giving has been distorted by religion through religious people who seek love.

Most christians believe that God would send his son to die for the sins they're committing, not knowing that Jesus was murdered like Charlie Kirk or Martin Luther king Jr and co, for speaking the Truth

Sacrificial giving doesn't mean giving at the expense of yourself.

1) One should learn to give something that they can afford to lose, this way, there are no attachments to expectations.

2) Then one should attempt to increase their capacity for loving, not just others, but themselves too. Charity begin at home. One with no love for self cannot love others successfully.

You could go through my posts here on nairaland for more insights, if it is.

fitinwell:
There is nothing called Love in todays world, it's relationship with benefits.

Love is about giving without expecting anything in return, in other word Love is Sacrificial giving.

Love today in Nigeria is focused on out smarting the other party,..

Reasons why you hear young ladies feeling entitled and already cheating with any object.

Morals are dead in this generation.

So Love is just a mirage!

Hi. I understand that the links in my post get too many sometimes, but I felt it's necessary to give you my readers a thorough understanding of my post, to see as I see, hopefully.
I hope the content of this thread brings enlightenment to you, as it did me.

Sexual Attention: The attention given to a woman, particularly during sexual activities with her.

Non-sexual attention: The attention given to a woman that's impartially related to getting sex from her

We begin...


The contents of this post that you're about to read is how I've begun to see relationships, especially sexual relationships.
Most people argue that sexual relationships shouldn't always be about the sex, but for decades now, they've actually failed to define in words, what sexual relationships entails.

I'm here to humbly place at your feet, dear Ladies and Gentlemen, that a sexual relationship is all about Balance.
Balance is needed and also necessary for a continued sexual relationship.

Creation, as I'm learning, happen in pairs. The undivided equilibrium, when disturbed, creates two unique forces: Force X and Force Y.
While force X takes a body out of equilibrium, force Y simultaneously seek to return that body back to equilibrium. Action and reaction are not just equal and opposite, as Newton proposed: they're also simultaneous.

I know this all sounds like rocket science talk but its application into sexual relationships is quite surprisingly insightful, as you'll see for yourself soon.

Imagine these complimentary forces of creation:
Light and Darkness
Heat and Cold
Sun and Moon
Man and Woman
Sexual attention and Non-sexual attention.

Sun is not "less moon", and heat isn't "less cold". They're separate energies.

Nature requires action but demands equilibrium. https://www.nairaland.com/8570219/surprising-importance-balance-creation

If one breathes in, one has to breathe out for the next breathing-in to be successful. Using this analogy, if breathing-in requires its complimentary breathing-out for the next breathing-in to be successful, then sexual attention requires its complimentary non-sexual attention for the next 'sex' to continue successfully.

You want to know why I arrived at this conclusion? It's because you can never continuously have sex with a woman till death do you part!
You'll have to rest at some point, and this period of rest shouldn't be filled with talks about how the next sex style should be or about where the next sex venue will be at. No.
It should be filled with activities that are unrelated to sex – the non-sexual activities that i mentioned earlier.

Breathe-in >> Breathe-out>> Breathe-in>>

Sexual activities>> Non-sexual activities>> Sexual activities>>

So with this insight, you can begin to categorize your partner's chemistry into sexual attention and non-sexual attention.

For the sexual attention part, a woman must hold some basic qualities for her to want a man to bed her.

a) She has to be physically attractive

b) She has to be neat (few men/women find it difficult to enjoy sex with a a partner who has body odor)

c) She has to be willing to learn (pleasurable bedmatics) and be open to being taught, without letting her ego get in the way. (some people's find it uncomfortable learning from someone that's younger than them because they believe that they're wiser because they've managed to escape death for long)

For the non-sexual attention part:

a) She has to be accountable for her actions (be able to think for herself, independent of religion or peer pressure, be able to exercise her freewill in making decisions and is comfortable accepting the consequences of her actions)

b) She has to be inoffensive (mannerly, homely, not nagging)

As you'd notice in the shorter requirements above, I didn't include that a girl should have a PhD, neither should she already be a bed queen, and there's a reason for that, which leads us to the secret to Happiness

1) Want fewer things
https://www.nairaland.com/8626659/want-things-money-buy-not

https://www.nairaland.com/8547306/define-rich-man

2) Get most of your needs met in other relationships!

a) Additions are expensive. If you want a red wine that's sweet, it's so easy to get. But if you want a red 1912 red wine that was made from a particular dead German man who made only 100 bottles in his lifetime, then you had better be ready to apply your time and energy to get it. Lol

If you want a nice pretty girl for a relationship, you can get one easily, as you've seen in the basic qualities of a partner that I outlined above. Same applies to if you want a beautiful caring girl who can cook. But your problem might likely arise when you as a man seek a girl who has the mind of Einstein, is as hardworking like a macho man, has a PhD in particle physics, has a fashion sense of Cardi-B, can play PS5, love to give birth and raise your mighty warrior children, work a high paying job and also find time from her busy schedule to cook your meals how you want them and when you want them and so on.

The 'additions' which we call specification in the partner we'd love to be with are expensive, and we better be sure we can afford such expenses, value wise.

Additions are expensive, and that's why we get disappointed when we don't see all the qualities we seek in a partner that we feel attracted to. Because all these qualities are unrealistic to be found in just one person! The best way to be focused is to know what not to focus on. A bricklayer has no business worrying over what color the house will be painted. Focus on laying bricks first, at least!

Don't expect your girlfriend to play call of duty with you or discuss some boring rocket science or an ever changing Nigeria politics with you. You have your physics lecturer or your guy friends for that!
A girl is definitely going to tell you about the color of nails she plans to get this weekend or about the gossip she heard at work. If you don't have listening ears for that or you expect something other than petty gossip that she brings, being the ever serious minded person that you are, then go date a female rocket scientist or political activist, and hope that such a category of women would want to be with you too.
https://www.nairaland.com/8577305/dont-try-change-people-accept

2) Still on the secret of Happiness, don't give what you can't afford to lose, because I've learnt from my experience and from that of the people around me, that by so doing, it creates attachments to the expectation that you hope to get from your giving, which then leads to tension and hurt, especially when your expectation(s) doesn't come to fruition. And when such category of givers get hurt because their giving wasn't appreciated, even with a simple “thank you”, they lash out and build a wall of defense around themselves, telling themselves that no one will ever see them so vulnerable again. This leads to the birth of Pride in them, a situation where people who are capable of giving and receiving love, prevent themselves from giving and receiving love all because they're scared of getting hurt.
This is the real definition of Pride.

Most men spend their time trying to change a woman to their preference, or to make a woman see them a particular way, by spending or acting in a way that they're not used to yet.
But the theory of “Effortless effort” suggest that attention should be given to those who already want to receive attention from us, and it's up to we men and women to employ our sense of discernment to find out who those people are.

“It is not possible to live a contented life if you want what's impossible” Dr Orion Taraban, Psychacks YouTube channel”

3) Don't do more happy things. Stop what hurts you first. Travelling to Paris for shopping, getting into another sexual relationship or finally landing that contract that you've been chasing might not fill that void in you. Cutting of the people in your life that speak harshly to you and make you feel terrible about yourself might. Or quitting that religion that makes you feel drained through subtle manipulation techniques that you've begun to notice might be nice for your mental health

To ensure that you fill a bottle with ‘clean water’, make sure that the bottle is thoroughly washed, else you risk contamination


Credit: Dr Orion Taraban, Psychacks YouTube channel

Your solution is not efficient

Suicideboy:
Just use a service like vocaroo after all you are not paying for using nl.

What if a voice to text option is made available?
It'll make communication here efficient.
Typing words in this day and age sounds dinosaur to me and those who love efficient living.

Seun:
Thanks for your suggestion. We consider every suggestion very carefully to determine if we can do it and the best way to do it.

Credit:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXLJDX9ZdsQ?si=pJJl6JH7YEn-HePf

Sometimes, we tend to feel this hurt or emotional pain in our lives that no amount of physical possessions can fix.
This pain is like a hole in our soul, which slowly grows, especially when we fill it with square pegs.

Some of the square pegs which some of us try to use to fix this hole in our lives includes, but are not limited to: Relationships, Business/career paths, unproductive use of gadgets and so on.

But what could be the source of this pain in our lives, one would wonder.
Well, here's what I've discovered about this interesting part of life:

This pain or hole we feel in our life isn't because we're doing something and not getting results in our life, but it's also caused because we're doing what we're not supposed to do in our life.
Someone with a passion for music while growing up has no business becoming a Doctor, all because of the pressure from society, friends and family members who judge music as a "a career with no future". Worthy to note is that not every musician sings. Some could have the passion to improve the quality of music beats which studies have shown to be therapeutic, or some could end up in the top sit where they could make legislations that rids the world of songs with the silliest of lyrics. Same with carpentry: one driven with a passion to study woods could end up discovering a unique chemical which when applied to woods, make it more durable and extra-resistant to wear and tear from physical and biological factors, hence reducing hardwork and making unemployment a good thing.
https://www.nairaland.com/8603403/moral-continued-hardwork-morality-slaves

A woman in a relationship with a man who she doesn't love but can take care of her material needs will be unhappy in such a relationship. That's a Friction.
https://www.nairaland.com/8591634/what-wanted-ask-it-shall

Not everyone was destined to become a Dangote. Pay attention to the "Was". (That isn't a tense mistake. We've been throwing reincarnation out the door for ages, but how can we explain the justice and mercy of God without a way for people to redeem their karma?)

Not everyone chasing music was destined to become a Bunra Boy and not every tech enthusiast was destined to become an Elon musk.

Ever seen an inclined plane before? I'll attach a picture to this post so that you can understand something profound I'm going to share here.

An object requires effort to go up the inclined plane. Science calls this effort a "Push" but here's the part where it gets really interesting: That object doesn't require any force to slide down the plane. Such an action requires no effort. Science would love to call this force responsible for bringing an object down the inclined plane a "Pull" but take a look at the picture of the inclined plane I attached and ask yourself:

1) What's making the inclined plane slide down on its own?

2) Was it an effort of man or is it a process that happens without the effort of man?

The answers to these questions, which aren't limited to the ones written here, would slowly pull you to the truth: Effortless Effort. The Taoists refer to Effortless effort as "Wu Wei"

The friction we feel in our lives all along was because the object on the inclined plane wanted to slide down all along, but we wanted it to go up.
Why?
It was all because of our judgement that going down is a bad thing and going up is a good thing. This judgement has delayed our progress individually and collectively as a society.

This tug of war leads to the friction on the inclined plane which then causes heat and translates to emotional pain in our lives, which if not solved, could lead to negative physical effects: Sadism, Loner (Introvert- A Manifestation of pride/ choosing to not be vulnerable because of fear of getting hurt), Loss of appetite, Anger issues, Mood swings and so on.

Wu Wei or Effortless Effort isn't you just folding your hands and waiting for manna to fall from heaven so you can feed. No. It's you applying effort in the direction that life has already planned for you. Not fighting the direction that life has planned for you is also an effort, because Self control is an effort. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be a scarce virtue as it is now in humanity.
That's what makes an effort "effortless"
(Remember the picture of the object on the inclined plane sliding down on its own)

People tend to say " Man proposes and God disposes", especially when situations aren't happening the way they expect it to be, but I respectfully modify that saying to "God propose, then man proposes"

Reality isn't going to work the way we want it to. Reality is going to work the way reality was created to work. This is one of the greatest lessons of life that I've learnt. It's an insight that have considerably reduced suffering in my life. https://www.nairaland.com/8577305/dont-try-change-people-accept

Life truly is simple, but are we humble enough to embrace its simplicity and stop fighting the shadows we create that only hurt us?


credit: https://www.nairaland.com/7940179/clock-ticks-tick-tock

Credit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXLJDX9ZdsQ?si=pJJl6JH7YEn-HePf

This post has been moved to another section.

https://www.nairaland.com/8603403/moral-continued-hardwork-morality-slaves

Here. I believe you will like the content of the link above. Goodluck

inoki247:
Wahala bring anyone we chop...

Just make sure you pick the stone inside that's all..



Na sufferness dey cause all this thing...


That's how people will tell u food from charcoal sweet pass Gas own..

As aw naw..

In schools here in Nigeria, SS3 science students are taught to memorize the first 20-30 chemical elements. They're taught to become independent of the periodic table

SS3 Mathematics students also are encouraged to learn to calculate without a calculator?!

All to what end? What's the point of all these suffering in our schools?

We're still writing formulas on paper in order to calculate a simultaneous equation, when there are calculators that can do these calculations in seconds!
We should as well encourage students to use firewood to cook their food
Gas cylinders should be abandoned.

Using the lens of truth, you'll find out the reasons you gave wasn't why the master was angry with the servant. The Bible as we have today, have been totally edited to make the people who read it, without question, the perfect religious slaves.
For example, there's a difference between lot's wife looking back and Lot's wife turning back.
https://www.nairaland.com/8576436/did-lots-wife-look-back

When one gives conditionally, one expects a reward. Even a thank you can be a reward. Trust me,some people tend to flare up if they do a nice deed for you and you failed to thank them with a "thank you"

Saying a "thank you" is a polite act, but in one's quest to becoming an unconditional giver, one shouldn't expect such as gratification. They joy on the face of the person we've helped should be enough reward in itself. Give what you can afford.

So you see, that master in the bible was portrayed as the divine and wasn't portrayed as a conditional giver.
If truly the master had given unconditionally, then such a master shouldn't have gotten angry because his giving wasn't appreciated by the servant replicating his kind gesture to another.

Truth is simple.

iOYEN:
If you look at the scripture you quoted the story very well, the master was not angry with him because he refuse to clear the man’s debt but because he refused to show mercy like he has been shown mercy.
He could has shown mercy and let his debtor go to pay later, make plan for little return on a weekly or monthly basic like you suggested but he trow the man into the prison, that was what angered the master, that you beg me i forgive you and now your dad tor begged you and you refused to show mercy.

The path of conditional love leads to unconditional love, same way childhood leads to adulthood.
Stagnation in growth leads to suffering.

We don't need jobs. Some jobs should be obsolete by now.
Suffering isn't hardwork. At this day and age of technology, humans should have reduced the time they put into work.

Heck! Unemployment should be a good thing.
https://www.nairaland.com/8603403/moral-continued-hardwork-morality-slaves

My 'bed' breeds ideas?
Really?

SpencerForbes:
I think I need to get your bed because it breeds ideas. I just wish it could produce more money making ideas

There an equilibrium and there are two forces that are birthed when this equilibrium is disturbed: one force to set this equilibrium in motion, and the other to return it to equilibrium.
Pretty simple to understand, right?

Secondly, perfection is a disease of a nation. It's called dry season, but it still rains regardless. This logic, I believe, was what Toph applied and discovered metal bending.

What exactly are the limits of bending, as we've learned from the 'Fictional' avatar series?

Air bending comes with flight as Zaheer exposed. "let go of thy earthly tether. Enter the void. Empty and become wind"

Water bending comes with blood bending and ice creation
Earth bending comes with larvae and metal bending.
Fire bending comes with lightening bending and redirecting, as Zuko, General Iroh and Firelord Ozai showed.

But, here I am, on my bed, in the darkness of time, and a thought dropped in my head: What if water bending could also birth steam bending?

I mean, water bending surely creates ice. What's the possibility of it not creating steam. Remember those two forces birthed of equilibrium that I pointed out earlier?

And I know most of you avatar lovers would think that to create steam, one would need fire bending, but what if that thought could be a misconception, because we all believe that steam is created when water is heated to a certain degree.

But if that were so, that water boils when it's heated or steam is created when hear or fire is applied to water, then why do boiling rings work or electric kettle?
I didn't see a fire switch or outlet on the boiling ring I used years ago.

There's something missing concerning energy generation, especially when applied to making water boil, as we've been taught, and I can feel it.

What do you think?

You're expecting too much from people.
Learn to accept people for who they are, so that you can accept them for what they're not, and also, define what you want from a woman. She's a woman, not a man. Just like you're expecting fire to be cold

I don't need my woman to engage with me in James Webb telescope or other rocket science topics. I have my male friends or Google's AI, Gemini for that!

Goats eat yam and you're not happy. When goats begin to eat humans, you'll still complain

Women, especially the ones still in their femininity, are beautiful creatures. You're projecting too much expectations on them, and that's why you suffer when around them

I hope the contents of this nairaland link below, as well as my other topics, help.
https://www.nairaland.com/8577305/dont-try-change-people-accept#137731499

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a step...
This got me thinking: What if each nairaland user has the option to attach an optimised voice note to their profile, where they introduce themselves, their preferences, what they seek from nairaland site and so on. It could even be a simple 'Hi'
And the voice note should be highly optimised because of storage space on the server side of nairaland.

Heck!
We're even allowed to post pictures of 4mb. Wouldn't a voice note of that capacity be worth it?

Hmm.
If your child tells you that he wants to become a carpenter, would you as a 'loving parent' allow him the freedom to express his passion? ;

What if your daughter tells you that she wants to become a ballet dancer?

I've talked about this concept in the nairaland link below
Truly, choiceless children today become incompetent leaders tomorrow
https://www.nairaland.com/8598916/chimamanda-adichie-case-choiceless-children

Twins were being killed in Calabar. Mary Slessor should have just folded her hands since it was the normal happening even before she arrived Calabar.

Besides, i'm guessing you'd prefer to ride a horse to go to work

meobizy:
Show me which forum online uses this.

This is an idea that I just thought of and it adds flesh to this belief system that I've adopted: Suffering isn't hardwork. The morality of continued hardwork is the morality of slaves
https://www.nairaland.com/8603403/moral-continued-hardwork-morality-slaves

Our forefathers communicated with inks and paper because that's what was made available to them at that time and I believe it'll be a shame for their descendants to continue that dinosaur technology in this current age.

I'm of the opinion that nairaland should have a voice note option, especially for credible account. How the moderators of nairaland determine if an account is credible or not is what I leave to their experience and administration. They've come a long way as a platform and I trust that they are in the best capacity to know what's okay for them and their thousands of users.

And on second thoughts, they could decide to make this functionality available to all users, provided each user can streamline the contents they'd love to pay attention to.

What do you think?

As humans , we need each other and ourselves...to genuinely care for others ehule caring for ourselves, because we can't give what we don't have. How can we attempt to give care to others when we don't even care for ourselves.

If one feels their purpose in life is to be a painter, then their happiness comes when they begin to master the art of using 1000 different colors to paint, instead of just stagnating at using 10 colors. The stagnation was what caused the void in their life, amongst others, that we most times refer to as depression. Funny enough, the medical industry has a drug for depression. They're treating the effects, not the cause, all for money. The greed of mankind.

You could decide this very day to speak with the purest of words, to yourself and to others, and erase every trace of foul language from your mouth. That's growth.

I don't know you better than you know yourself, Hamzaay. Seek to grow. Money IS never an end. It was just a means to an end, as you've begun to understand now.
https://www.nairaland.com/8626659/want-things-money-buy-not


You're quite lucky you know, not having money issues like most of us have. You're one step to finding an activity that you could do that gives you happiness, and not something you do because you need to hustle money for food

Ask yourself, "what's are those activities that i liked while growing that my peer groups and parents told me won't generate money to me?"

What if you could find happiness doing such activities? Those activities that are productive to you and grows you, but you don't do because of a paycheck. That's a Gspot of life, you know

If temptation was really necessary, why did God son, while on earth, taught us to pray to be delivered from it?
That's because temptation isn't necessary.

If temptation isn't necessary to prove a needless point to ourselves as humans, then suffering as a means to prove that we're hardworking and to give ourselves life's purpose isn't also necessary. Do you see it now.