...

Context is everything in this case, and should be treated in isolation, not general.

1. The writer (wife) did not suggest that the man is irresponsible. He takes care of his family. He takes care of the hefty bills, while she does the feeding.

2. Hefty bills means school fees, car maintenance, extended family responsibilities, house rent, home maintenance, children wares and clothings etc. These don't come cheap.

3. With the above responsibilities, he found it hard investing in a property; not because he deliberately did not want to.

4. Even when he can't meet up, the wife still don't help out, because she feels if she doesn't help out, the money would come out somehow. How the poor man has been keeping up is none of her business.

5. Wifey builds a 5 bedroom bungalow and furnished to taste. With 2 living rooms. This is beyond, "I saved up...". A rough cost evaluation is between 6 - 10million minimum. And this definitely wasn't built in 1 or 2 years. Yet you have a responsible husband struggling to pay for school fees.

If the man was an irresponsible husband and father, the above analysis would've changed totally. But this is a man who is committed to the well being of his family, irrespective of his inability to meet up with the property investment.

There's absolutely no wisdom in what the woman has done.

Thank God for your Secondary school knowledge. While you're right about the outcome, the result and interpretation is however based on probability. This means that, for each conception by your parents, there's always a 50% chance for the child to be AA and another 50% chance for the child to be AS.

What I'm saying invariably is that they can actually have five children and all of them will be AA or AS. The odds are per child and not for all the children they have.

If I am to analyse your write-up, you were mainly enraged or should I say pissed off because she became rude IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS and you broke off the relationship because it was IN PRESENCE OF YOUR PALS. While I'm yet to hear your ex-girlfriend's side of the story, I suspect there is no smoke without fire. Women are often what you make of them, especially at a relatively young age. I envisage that if all she did were not in front of your friends, the situation would've turned out differently.

Have you ever asked yourself why she changed all of a sudden?

Check yourself bro. Not because of this one relationship, but for others to come.

richdaflux:


Thanks.
I'm sure members would like to have an idea what we went through.

DW initially did HSG, Hormonal assay (had low progesterone and slightly high prolactin levels), used Fertilaid for women, Folic acid and Clomid, while i went through the disappointment of LSC. I used Fertilaid for men, Addyzoa, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Chinese Magnetic cup, honey, stopped placing laptop on my laps. Outcome was all negative.

Series of tests and disappointments followed. In fact, Fertilaid for men made my count decrease, while HSG made DW's cycle all over the place.

But recently, we were on fasting as declared by our church, and some spiritual revelations were made, plus we also tried an herbal composition for DW and myself. I was given drugs for Anti-Bacteria and LSC, while she was given some form of toxic flusher and cycle regulator.

After DW finished taking hers, her cycle went to 26 days consistently for 2 cycles, before our BFP, while i'm yet to go for any testing since then, and i don't think i will go.

We give God the glory, because without His support, drugs won't work, and we praise God for fighting our battles for us.

Keypoint: Some infertility issues are spiritual, treat as same.

Shalom

I feel it's always nice to come back to where it all started from. November 4th, DW put to bed and delivered a baby girl.

As you've always prayed... It ended in praises to the Almighty.

ogologoamu:

“I will not make any other comment or answer any question in respect to the allegation and various civil and criminal cases pending in the law court. [b]More especially, when the Senator has already been arraigned in court in respect of these matters. [/b]I decided to appear before this Senate committee on the allegations out of the high respect I have for the Senate and my penchant for the rule of law.

I love the above paragraph and indeed the bold part. Since we've made it a duty not to read, I will help out. I don't care about the IGP, his affiliations, what he is suspected of or what not, but I'm particularly impressed by Nigerians beginning to fight for their rights. The Senate is losing its bite and if they are not careful by acting like hungry dogs all the time, no one will take them serious again. Leadership is by example. When your past haunts you, there's often no where to hide, even if you're a senator

Thank you everyone for the wishes. Straight to my secondhand BS. I know this doesn't come often. Anyway, here it goes...

We TTCed for about a year and half before God answered our prayers. Details of that is in my previous posts on TTC thread. If you haven't gone through a conscious delay in conception, especially, first conception that leads to childbirth, you are unlikely to grasp what TTC couples go through.

The bfp came when we least expected it. In fact, confirming it at the test center was adrenaline x1000. Eventually, we did and got our joy. As a husband, my DW's pregnancy journey was a uphill task o. She had MS from day 1 till the end. Her food itinerary was basically eba and fufu, as nothing she ate stayed long enough in her stomach to be considered as food. She also had heart burn, where she constantly needed to take mistmag to suppress it. For this reason, she ate very low peppery diets all through. In fact, her main soups were ogbono and ewedu. Each time we go out to eat something different, I always have to lick out her meat before she eats, since the vendors usually cook their meat with the main soup.

At a point, she had haemorrhoids. Did sitz baths to ease the pain she was going through. Then during the 6th month or there about, she had suspected appendicitis, which was taken care of through bombardment of antibiotics and as God would have it, the pain subsided, and she didn't complain about it, even till date.

As the pregnancy progressed, i could sense she was tired of the pregnancy and at the same time scared, especially at the tail end. She lost her mucus plug unknown to her. I was about having my bath after she was done with hers when I saw a huge "kelebe" on the floor. Asked if she "ha kelebe" in the bathroom, she said No. Anyway, that was how the mucus plug came off. Note that she had been having contractions since the 38th week. This progressed and the intensity equally increased, but never to the point where doctors call active labour. Her dilation was stuck at 2cm when we noticed she had started leaking. At first we thought it was urine, since she urinated on per second billing. This was our undoing, as we ought to have reported the issue. We were expecting a burst, but I guess hers was the type that trickles. The leakage increased, and had to inform the gynae, who in turn asked us to report immediately we notice any form of leakage. Anyway, I told him we've been experiencing the leakage for about 2days, whereas, truthfully, it has gone on for about 2weeks, that is since 38weeks.

Remember the fear I told you about, even at this point, she still wanted to go back home, while hoping the doctor will discharge her asap. Do I mention she worked till the Friday she was admitted? Unfortunately for her, gynae gave us two options, induction or Caesarean. He also advised that considering the size of the baby and my wife's body frame, the induction might be unsuccessful, which could eventually lead to an emergency CS. This I felt why allow my wife suffer twice, if induction fails. As per baby weight, the weight gain was astronomical, just last week, she was only 2.8kg , this week the baby became 3.7kg, and just two days after, it was discovered to have risen to 3.9kg.

We decided to have the surgery done, but the transition from her leaving with the nurses to the delivery room till when she was wheeled back to the ward was the longest minutes of my life. Perhaps, I would've requested to go in with them, but I sincerely don't know what my reactions would be. I hope I would've even allowed the doctor touch her. While waiting, I understood what it meant to be going up and down, as seen in the movies, while checking every entrance point. Trust me, I was not a boss on this day.

Sucour finally came when our daughter was brought in and being cleaned up, but believe me, my wife's condition was equally important, (don't wanna say "more important), so no rest yet. Minutes later, wifey was wheeled in still unconscious. I was happy, but unlike many fathers, the happiness was a short one, as all I could see were a huge responsibility given to us by God, which we cannot fail in, while He supports us.

The paediatrician came in later to announce to us that our delay in reporting to the hospital might have caused sepsis for the baby, and would stay for 10 days. However, baby looks very healthy, eats well, not pale and very active. Anyways, blood samples have been taken, and until the results comes out, we are considering going home with her, as soon as DW is discharged.

Birth Alert

My wife put to bed this morning, say 1hr ago via Caesarean.
Mummy and daughter are doing great.
Thanks for your support through and through.
3.85kg after 40 weeks

Took a while to reply, but i was able to complete the programme alongside the job successfully without any extensions.

Thanks all.

LholarB:
I really can't believe my BabyGirl aint here yet,today happens to be my EDD and at 40 weeks already.Baby kicking very well,heartbeat still very perfect.

Had a VE today and Doc said she ain't fully head down on my pelvis yet @40 weeks ,I have being sad and moody since I got the news.

And my Doc said induction is not even going to work at all at this moment,so he advised I stay for 1 more week instead of the Extra 5 days(hospital policy) but if anything happens before then,i should come to the hospital.And if nothing happens by then,it will be CS.

Am so paranoid and tired,Even my DH too(sorry we are first timers). We have both being opened to whatever Birth plan I will be having right from Day one tho but it's just sad that after all these months of a stressfree pregnancy,it's now getting scary at the time we least expert it but I know the Devil can only try but can't prevail.

Hopefully, I Get a miracle before my Extra 1 week ends,or I jejely carry myself to go and do an elective CS cos honestly,am tired..my tired is crying

#teamNovember.

Same here with wifey. I'm so tired, as though i'm the one carrying the pregnancy. The connection with my daughter, while in the womb is awesome. Can't wait to hold her in my arms.

She lost her plug this morning tho, and have been having contractions since two weeks now. Doc says he has to wait until we are at most 41+3 weeks before starting with induction. I pray she delivers soon, cos the baby's weight is going on the high side already (3.67kg), especially when she weighed only 2.8kg 2 weeks ago.

DW is in her 36th week. She is so eager to pop soon, considering her November edd might be wrong, while taking into account our baby girl's growth progression, acrobatic display and strength, including the radiologist's prediction. We might port to October.

My sister is already ecstatic, having two boys already and she was born in October herself.

Wimning01 your contact is absent. State location and price for TV

Been wanting to park my trailer here for a while now since porting from TTC thread, on behalf of DW.

We will be in our 3rd trimester come 4th Aug. And edd is scheduled to be Nov 3rd. Baby gender is pointing towards XX, but we are still waiting on a second gender scan check, just to be sure.

I troway salute to the community of Hebrew women.

I thought some are of the belief that Igbo women cannot/don't cheat, that its only Yoruba women that do I hate stereotypes.

Towerofgrace:


Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations darling, Richdaflux shey you see the testimony, like Orney said na only inner eyes wey GTC mamas know a faint bfp when seen.
Regards to wifey

Respect to all the mamas here. I swear i didnt see anything. God bless y'all. Beautiful community right here.

Zino89:
Sabi mamas abeg na bfp or Bfn . I have been having sore nipple and I took a test dis morning

Sorry ma, this looks like just the control line, or is there a second line i'm not seeing ?? Maybe i need my glasses sha. All the same, positive thoughts always

tollahni:



Sure

If that's the case, I would advise that you try and see things from your husband's perspective and reach a compromise. If you had said "No", then it would have been tricky, but your answer in the affirmative signifies that you might regret your decision of one child later on in life, especially when the job is no longer there or when you later have ample time on your hands. Unfortunately, it might be too late due to your biological clock.

Think it through, this may just save you a later agony or your husband's resentment in the near future. Yes! Your job is stressful, but you'll always find a way, if you try. May God give you the wisdom to sail through.

Shalom.

It's selfish to blame the woman for not wanting to have another child, having jointly agreed early in their relationship not to have more than one.

That being said, I think the way forward is to reach a compromise, talk it through, and if the husband is reading, sir, you can't force her against her wish. Try to cajole her to see reasons why you have a change of heart and work towards a common goal.

One question for Tolani, would you have another child if your job and limited time isn't a barrier?

I think what happened between 2face and black is that, Yes! 2face encroached into Black's intellectual property(ies), but Black doesn't have any legal backing to challenge it(them). 2face knows this, and he is going to win this case

Some talk to see if i can connect.

I will never wish sub-fertility for my enemy. Its so energy zapping. The mind is constantly all over the place. Sometimes (when we were still TCCing), i would just be depressed for no just cause. DW usually takes the negative effect of my mood swings. It was devastating to say the least. HMM... some say, oh! try and get your mind off it (as if its that easy). I wish i could take my mind off it then, but how? Colleagues at work will never stop talking about their LOs, especially those that got married after us. Male fertility drugs like Addyzoa, Fertilaid for men, Vit E, Vit C, Manix etc. only increased my libido. I won't lie sha o, the only benefit i got for TTC was the easy access to kpekus anytime, and the drugs made my (you know) rock hard. I enjoyed that aspect of TTC. Apart from that, nothing else jare!!!

Trying to analyze how we pulled through, is probably an effort in futility, cos, so many experiments by doctors and the incessant reminders by family and friends was breaking. I couldn't make an innocent call to someone i haven't spoken to in a while, without the fellow raising baby gists. It was such a low for my family. Should i also mention the spontaneous burst of tears by DW.

However, I feel the herbs we took before BFP played a role, because it was the only different thing we did during that period. There was an herbal fair in Abeokuta towards the end of last year till early this year, which we decided to attend. You know, I was quite skeptical before meeting with the herbal man. Paid 15k for his herbs. Took them religiously and coupled with the special prayers and instructions given in church, we kept faith. During the course of the medication, truth be told, DW's cycle became regular and no longer scanty. This was an issue we battled for months, after HSG without result. Even Almighty OvaBoost + Fertilaid for women couldn't do anything. For the first time in a long while, she mentioned a characteristic discharge, which pointed to ovulation, and led to the BFP.

God said Amen to our efforts finally.

When we complain about our leaders, know they came from a family. The fact remains that our value system is in the doldrums. The quality of parents today isn't what it should be, to the extent that some parents actually need some growing up to do themselves before thinking of raising a child.

Mister, before I wish you a happy married life, know that donating sperm doesn't make you a man, husband or father. This journey you've began takes a whole lot and remember you're just a guardian of the child before your creator.

HML

I don't really blame the FIL. Maybe he noticed some ample time on your hands and felt he should pinch out of it, Howbeit, more frequently.

What if you guys don't stay in the same city? Or you can't afford to come as often.

See, families must know when to draw the line. The father is in his 70s and I believe has fulfilled his destiny. He should not help you spend yours and your family's.

This is some of the areas maturity and being the head of the family comes to play, and not by just having a penis.

If I were you, I would have subtly rejected the offer on the spot, except you have so much time to waste on frivolous visits and chitchats.

Ball is in your court.

afagha:

congratulations, God bless you and your lo.

Thanks.
I'm sure members would like to have an idea what we went through.

DW initially did HSG, Hormonal assay (had low progesterone and slightly high prolactin levels), used Fertilaid for women, Folic acid and Clomid, while i went through the disappointment of LSC. I used Fertilaid for men, Addyzoa, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Chinese Magnetic cup, honey, stopped placing laptop on my laps. Outcome was all negative.

Series of tests and disappointments followed. In fact, Fertilaid for men made my count decrease, while HSG made DW's cycle all over the place.

But recently, we were on fasting as declared by our church, and some spiritual revelations were made, plus we also tried an herbal composition for DW and myself. I was given drugs for Anti-Bacteria and LSC, while she was given some form of toxic flusher and cycle regulator.

After DW finished taking hers, her cycle went to 26 days consistently for 2 cycles, before our BFP, while i'm yet to go for any testing since then, and i don't think i will go.

We give God the glory, because without His support, drugs won't work, and we praise God for fighting our battles for us.

Keypoint: Some infertility issues are spiritual, treat as same.

Shalom

There is a silent rave of discrimination against TTC couples. The society has made it a duty to monitor every newly wed and somewhat question why they are without a child after, lets say, 1 year after marriage. We too dey poke our noses everywhere.

The most attacked is the female gender, who is often at the receiving end of family, friends, colleagues and enemies. Must everyone plan to have children immediately after marriage A friend decided with his wife to stay off child bearing until after two years, for personal reasons.

We really need to mind our business in this country/continent, and if you really care and want to show concern/solidarity, there are ways to do it, without appearing like a wolf in sheep's clothing. In fact, personally, i prefer people not discussing the issue with me, except i invite you myself.

Shikena!

On a positive note...
We have been TTCing for about 16-17months now without result. Yesterday, we found out we are preggers, 5 weeks+. We couldn't go through the uncertainty of urine testing, so we went for blood straight; even that was done with so much anxiety/fear. Only those going through sub-fertility will understand the disappointment they go through every month, every freaking month!!!

May God answer our prayers. If you're TTCing without result, trust me, i understand perfectly what you are going through. God is the maker of babies, cos in this journey, i have realised, doctors have got no answer for infertility, they just guess/try, while draining their patients' pockets.

If you got pregnant with ease, you need to do serious thanksgiving, because you've got no idea what emotional, psychological stress you just avoided. And trust me, it has nothing to do with your virginity or how well you serve God, lets just say it's the favour of God.

We bless the Lord for a new dawn in my family.

Rita is just awesome! an all round talent, but seeing a supposed forerunner when she was just a greenhorn and saying "you're RMD right?? " says a lot about her.
Trust typical wafarian, he restored her to factory settings immediately, although, not necessarily "Uncle RMD", but that's still not out of place for a start.

Despite our exposure,we should learn not to throw away our cultural ideologies.
and i'm sure there are more of her around.

You never ready...

Everybody wants to drive a car by all means. If dem give you 200k car now, and you start spending an average of 20k per week on the car, you will say ur village people are on your case abi?

Good thinking. Very timely topic.
As Africans, reproduction is a MUST!, but it shouldn't be!! Just as we've been clamouring that marriage isn't a must, reproduction also, shouldn't be.

There's pressure all around married couples to reproduce in earnest, as if they are the rulers of their lives. While it's an awesome step for some, its a thing of plan and choice for others. I've seen couples who, after marriage, decided to wait for months, years, before deciding to finally start child bearing. Its their choice and the society must learn to respect it.

alatbaba1:


Even GEJ pays before months end too max 29th of d month. December 2012 GEJ paid 18th. It's still manageable. Last year he paid Dec salary on 22. During Salah he paid before Salah too. But Oga babu didn't pay before dis year Salah definitely he will never pay before xmas. Change has really come. God help us all

Like i said, "maybe it only affected my institution". For example, last year Dec's salary was paid beyond mid January 2015.

alatbaba1:
Not all fed worker have been paid. Military pers hv nt been paid. I'm nt a fan of pdp but. Since this new administration came on board salaries has been so inconsistence. Before during ya'adua's time salaries are been paid on 23rd or latest 25th of every month, during xmass perion salaries was paid 18th December. During Oga jona it was paid around 26th and latest 29th of every month. But uncle baba body language. Salaries come as wen d president feel like he should pay. They lied on change of power, Nigeria is broke, crude oil nt marketable, increment in salary, Single treasury account. Now Donno d lie they are gonna come up wit. At d beginning we thought we military will enjoy dis govt. Bu reverse is the case. Dis govt has nt done anything spectacular since dey came on board. It's just noise and lies they share. Nigeria is a failed state.

You are on point with Yar'Adua's administration, but not GEJ's. Well, maybe it only affected my institution.

Don't be quick to call someone a liar, just because we're on a faceless forum.

I've made my own sincere contribution, whether you believe it or not.

Again, salaries were delayed during GEJ's tenure! That people didn't talk about it, doesnt mean it wasn't an issue.

Pappymason2:



You are lying


You are not a federal civil servant to say this nonsense lie.

If salaries where delayed under GEJ then why was there never any thread on salary delays and or payments during GEJ?


The delays are new to real civil servants and it all began when this Govt was sworn in.


Propaganda will not put food on the table.