₦airaland Forum

PaperLace:
She better do the Usain Bolt outta his life.
The fact that she has even stayed in such company for 3yrs says a lot about her and her principles. Well, it's never too late.

If she doesn't do the needed now, the next time she'll be creating a complain thread as a Mrs, I trust Nairalanders...they'll first ask her if she didn't notice the signs (of course she did).

Then they'll tell her to manage, pray for him, talk to him when he's in a good mood ,wear red pant and bra, f.uck him till he forgets his state of origin and be very submissive.

If symptoms persist after 2wks, repeat the dosage above.
Remember, divorce isn't an option.

wash, rinse, repeat

lets see if they have the nerves to proceed.

....and the macabre dance begins

this is clearly the hand of Esau but the voice of jacob.

i am pained everyday that i live in a country full of daft and gullible people who don't know how dumb and naive they are.

francollimasso:
Vacancy for web Developer/programmer:
Are you a creative thinker that loves to be on the cutting edge, solving problems though technology and design? Do you believe that digital technology has the power to make the world more connected and informed.
send a mail to: rahmanalade@gmail.com

do you have any preferred technology stack and tools like python, java, php or ruby.

if i were u i will follow the steps below since you are targeting Cyber Security.

1. start with basic networking (probably N+) and system admin (linux with shell scripting) at the same time. This will definitely take you time to gain proficiency (probably through out your schooling period).

2. Go for the Bsc. there is no short cut to success in life as practicals should be based on sound theory.

3. After graduation, follow up with certifications in ethical hacking and cyber security.

Number 1 will introduce you to practicals but you will need a lot of self study to improve. number 2 will provide you sound theory to understand what you are doing and why you need to do them. 3 will tell the world your competencies and expertise.

NB: becoming an IT pro takes years of study and practice. so by the time you graduate in 4/5 years, you will be ready for the market.

talk2hb1:
There are shortage of competent developer in Nigeria, not in PHP alone. Either occuppied, or over booked

so you are implying that market is booming and me i dey here i never get work!

continue........

dayhawk:
The description was good initially. its unfortunate to inform
you but Nigerian programmers are ridiculously lazy.
we removed node.js on purpose .
i would also love to say , you dont qualify to be nutty if
you dont meet the requirement or if you simply arent interested .

we hired 4 people initial from our first post now only One
was retained.
all couldnt get very basic tasks accomplished.

my 2 cents.
its heart breaking to say but buhari is not the problem ,
there are great jobs everywhere but people
simply dont want to put in work.

The millennial's are way too lazy.

Programmers are meant to be lazy. that is why there are so many libraries and frameworks to encourage our laziness.
One of my Mentor used to tell me, Don't Reinvent the wheel.
Get Used to it

FreeSpirited:
There seem to be a force that drives the universe. Different religions ascribe certain name, story, myth and legend to this force just to claim political authority of this force.
This force seems to operate on some set of universal laws, most of which are mystery to humans.
There's probably a God, he's not the way the religious describe him to be, at least not entirely. Religion is just a pathway that seem to describe how to get to this God. In the end, we usually end up experiencing the God our mind is able to paint and fathom

It does not seem like a force, THERE ARE FORCES DRIVING THE MULTIVERSE. the verse we exist is not uni but multi. There are dimensions our senses (our antennas) cannot detect because of its limited range.

Our ears detect vibrations at certain range of frequencies and our eyes detect vibrations at another range of frequencies. Even our brains work at certain frequencies which are yet to be discovered.

Mankind is seeking to connect with this forces controlling the multiverse and work its way to the ultimate force where we can reconnect back to our source of power that transcend the physical realm (dimension).

Zoharariel:

Acidosis:
I learnt that the opinion of the majority mostly result to disaster. A case in point is the decision of the majority to install a NEPA bill holder. We all suffered the consequence of that mal-decision.




Whenever you're confused, seek the opinion of the majority, and do the opposite.

learning when to flow with the tide and when not to may be the deal breaker.

zohorariel, appleyard, nairaminted

Come and see the end of terrorist affiliates worldwide.

Zoharariel:
Assad & Putin be like...He who laugh last, laughs longest

Abeg help post that who will go picture

Kunleforreal:
Happy weekend to everybody

are u still buying dead laptops?

i have an old dv9000 with dead video IC but am down in the south, how do we talk

Cokwologu:
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate your response.. though I have read about vogue pay and gtpay, but I will go through the others tomorrow morning.. which one would u recommend for me that is a bit cheaper but more durable and works well?

voguepay.com and simplepay.ng top the list but you can go to their sites to check and compare the commission rates both collect. both are third party which means they are middlemen. they serve mostly individual and small business merchants who can't afford the big boys below or maybe testing the waters, hence their requirements are low compared to the broses below.

They major payment gateways in Nigeria are interswitchng.com and unifiedpaymentsnigeria.com but both are expensive to setup but very reliable. interswitch handles mastercard (it seems they are mastercard clearing house in Naija) and their own verve card while unifiedpayments serves same purpose for visa card. Both requires you to be corporate body before they can give you access to their services at exhorbitant setup cost. you can get their commission rates at their sites.

i can't recommend any for now, just do your due diligence and pick the one that will serve your needs.

NIGHTMAREOO7:
Lmao
Maybe d gal is showing how deep she can take d cassava

sign language ni

MrMoRitz:
Thanks everyone for your concerns...i am trying to stay calm and just ignore him...we have done everything for him and considering, he is a grown up, i think it is high time he should fend for himself also..
i will quietly take my mum away from him and just live him all alone until he adds some value...i think this is the best way for now..dont even know what to think anymore...

this is good. Just leave him to grow up

for a client based in Nigeria and traffic mostly targeted at Nigerians, international gateways are out of consideration. i have not used all of them but check out voguepay.com, simplepay.com, gtpay and i think zenith bank provides a gateway too. a guy wrote a blog article about payment gateways in naija but i can't remember the address. i think google should help you there.

op so you use closures and anonymous function finish the life of those utilities.

Maybe you are trying to show us that functions are FIRST CLASS OBJECTS in JS.

###Just pitying the nuts that will maintain and extend those gibberish.###

panafrican:
Might be very hard to find someone fitting in those shoes.

why not make him life president since there is no worthy successor. OR he should probably go with the shoes so that a factory fitted one will be bought for the next person.

hey don't be so quick. rejoice not yet for they are staging a comeback

cstr19:
You are joking right?
no be only arab numerals.
Go and tell saudi-arabia to use their numerals to build their own fighter jets instead of pressuring the US for more F-16s.
And no, the US did not steal NAZI tech. Some of their best tech minds immigrated to the US just like it still happens today.
Why do you think the US created the visa lottery system?
There is no stealing here.
The US is the one creating the viable environment and doing the heavy funding of ground-breaking science and tech research.
China just copies it cheaply. [s]Even Russia is scared of selling to china[/s].

Russia is not scared of selling to China. Russia was china's major weapon supplier (specifically tanks, jets and missiles) before and during the cold war before China started manufacturing weapons. moreover Moscow just deliver some battalions of S-400 system to Beijing recently.

cstr17:
The Zombie here is you.
Deluded folks who believe a barely second world Russia can stand up to America in real terms.
A zombie is a deluded mofo like you who believes Russia will in any realm of thought wipe the US out in 45 minutes.
Bloody dreamers.
Anyway, I would soon leave this forum for you deluded Naija Russians to take over and delude yourselves to stupor.

pls dont mind some dissidents here, just hang around, we enjoy the fun and moreover don't take things personal here. it will do you lots of good

errrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmm seunny.4 be careful. that is very rude of you

Solowande:
at least my day don break, u still dey sleep

how can a person who is still sleeping greet u good morning?

Solowande:
Introvert

shey na now ur dey break.

sex and sexual topics give people natural highness that drugs and weed can't offer.

Freshkidavid:
True. I see you as a learned person. Maybe you and I could work together.

You could write articles too you know.

As an aspiring writer/historian, try as much as possible to be objective and let your readers draw conclusion from your writings. Just present your findings and let the readers analyze and interpret. you need to upgrade your skills to write unbiased narrations and expositions to gain credibility and respect from the literary world.

this narration is one of the most biased and opinionated write up i have ever read.

announcing your intention to fight when your opponent is relaxing, preparing for your head.

Lucasbalo:
Calm down my Ijebu friend. I am enjoying in my paradise ( Ikeja Country Mansion) right now with all my crew. Will be jumping back into action soon after the big Birthday bash for my old Prince.

funny dudes

Appleyard:
Oh. So, the original Hollande Hollandia milk of France has now join the list of the "exiting" diablos. That's right. How great the cosmic order must have loved Assad and Vladirmirovic OgheneDonaldo Putin Yeah! First, it was Cameron that said "Assad must go!" But today, himself is gone-kicked out by Brexit . Then, Erdogan said Assad must go, but today, he has landed himself and Turkey in a pitiable uncompromising postion, such that makes him to be neither for Assad nor against Assad - courtesy of the Russian presence in Syria.
Hillary Clinton said Assad must go, but today, she is the one that got kicked out by the people in the elections, and even in the ongoing recounts, she is still losing. (Thanks to the Cosmic Order).
Merkel said, "Assad must go", but today, she is singing a different tune while staring at possible defeat in upcoming party elections, amidst increasing unpopularity caused by the "rapefugees" violence.
The whole kingdom of Satan Arabia led by the house of Saud said, Assad must go, and consequently today, they are introducing Austerity Measures to tackle financial difficulties after spending billions on sponsoring terrorism in Syria, with nothing to show for it-courtesy of the Russian intervention.

Its like the Cosmic has opened a vengeful channel against all enemies of Assad and Syria unity, with all the major players experiencing one form of misfortune or the other. The only exception being Russia-the chief enforcer of the cosmic orderliness of events and directives.... Now, America got Trump to deal with.....while Hollande is tearfully eyeing the exit doors, even as Putin is busy cutting deals right, left and centre.....

Truly, Karma must be bad!.........

yes they will come in one way and scatter in seven ways.

their whole scheme has fallen like pack of cards courtesy of lord Putin the Great. they took their counsel but not from Putin for the lord say to my lord, sit here till i make all thy enemies your footstool.

in few years time, it will settle down with python, ruby, php and even old perl. they will all play together as brothers