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"You don call am?" Kenny quired as i returned.
"Yes, i don call am, in fact he dey come now now."
"Oya na, make we dey drink dey wait for am." Kenny suggested.
"Oooouch... This drink dey hot." Kenny pointed out, as he gulped a mouthful from cup.
"Gerrroooout! You be womane." I mocked.
I picked up the second cup to have the taste of wine, God this drink was more like a hot water down the throat, but i never raise any complaint in-order not to alert Kenny who i have mocked initially concerning the same circumstances.
"Sweet heart, would'nt you like to have a taste?" Kenny said with a flawless English adressing Nkasi,i guess the Royal Porche have started speaking for him.
"No, never mind." She responded.
"Akor, you don land?"Kenny greeted the incoming Akor in a typical Nigeria way.
"See drink ooo." I said offering Akor the drinking cup after exchanging greeting with him for the second time.
"Aaaah, na Royal?" Akor demacated as he picked the bottle.
"Yes you sabi am before?" Kenny quired.
"Yes na, Royal na my drink na." Akor replied as he gulped down the drink.
"Akor e be like say this thing no dey hot you for throat?" i wanted to know.
I have been watching the Edo boy gulping the drink as if it's Juice or something like that, when am struggling with any mouthful gulp i made.
"Hian, Hot kwa? E no dey hot me ooo."He replied.
"Guy i no dey drink again ooo." Kenny announced.
"Hahahahaha, you no be man, just this small thing you take, you don tire." Akor mocked.
"No be say i don tire, it's just that i no dey for drinking mood today."Akor defended.
"Okay i don hear." Akor concluded as Kenny retired to bed with her girlfriend.
After all my efforts trying to take in more gulps failed abortive, as it seems like the drink is getting more hotter on any gulp, i decided to resign, leaving almost half of the drink to Akor.
"Hahahahaha, you too don tire?" Akor mocked.
"No, i never tire i just want make you dey enjoy yourself." I spewed a fat lie.
"Hahahahaha, iffa hear."Akor said as he continue mocking us.
After some minutes, i realise that the drink is coming on me slowly, so i decided to lie on the floor, since Kenny and her girl have already occupied the bed.
Akor on the other hand was sitting on our only plastic backchair, spewing all kind of trashs, telling us how he went to drinking competition of Seven bottles Royal Porche, and how he won it after emptying seven bottles of the drinks.
Kenny and her girlfriend have engange in bird discussion,that kind lovers discussion wich is don by wispering, it took them so far that they don't even take note of what is happening in the room.
So am only left with the drunk talkertive Akor, after being fed up by his fat lies wich he kept on throwing at me.
I decide to force sleep on my self, i close my two ears with my hands and shut my eyes so tight, praying for sleep to swipe me off from Parrot Akor, and it did.
"Was still on the middle of the sleep when i heard.
"Patatatatatata." a liquid like thing on me.
"Kenny rain they fall?" I quired still in the middle of sleep.
"Kutty you be mumu ooo, see Akor they piss for your body ooo."Kenny alarmed.
"Chisos! Akor why nao?" I asked jumping up only to see Akor standing with his pant down, and preek at hand peeing down.
"You dey mad, no be outside i dey dey piss? Abi u don dey sleep for bush."He responded.
I felt like throwing him Superman punches, but i don't dare do that to a proffessional mechanic like Akor, not only when he is drunk.
Yes, Akor is the kind of person whose drink made stronger and also madder(if there is a word like that).
I just left outside to clean up, as Kenny and Nkasi kept laughing at me, while Akor is busy raging that i should'nt lie on the bush side next time.
Imagine! Big Gobe...

Lolaabokoku:
Present sir!

welcome ma...

"Kutty you don come back?" Kenny asked me when i returned from Rose's house, meeting her and her girl lying on the bed playing love birds.
"No, I still dey there." I gave him the best answer.
"Kutty welcome oo" Nkasi greeted me with a wink.
"Wetin this girl dey insunuate self? She wan make i do her iranu or what?"i asked my self inwardly, as i respond her greetings.
"I took of my clothe and head to the pot to do the needful.
"Kutty you go fit go buy wine outside make we take dey ball as night don reach?" Kenny asked as i finished eating.
"Yes na, i fit wey the money make i go?"
"Take, buy Royal Porche, na 500 them dey sell am." He said offering me money.
"You don be the oga now wey i be your errand boy abi? God dey" I dare not say it out, or i else will forget buying the drink.
On my way returning from where i went to buy the drink, i sighted one lady before me,from the back view only, i concluded that the front view will be a great pleasure to behold.
I instantly increased my step with a bide to meet the girl or perhaph collect her number.
"Helo pretty lady." I greeted when i approach her.
"Hi, how may i help you?"
"Please my i know your name?" I asked.
"Okay am Caro, urs?" She gave typical nigerian respond.
She was indeed Caro, very beautiful with an accurate frame supported with gigantic Manchester(Boobs) and Nickiminiajic(Lol) Barca(Butt), at that point, i began singing popular Nigerian pop star hit Track "Caro" by Wizkid.
"Caro ur body neccesary... Caro cary history... Caro dey make my head dey bend... Blablablabla..."i have instantly forgeted that i am in conversation with someone, her tap brought me back to face the reality.
"Helo Mr, you have'nt tell me you name." She said.
"My name... Eeeerm... my name is..."
"Oh my God, am i forgeting my name because of Ukwu(waist) or what?" i asked my self, as i stood there stammering trying to remember my name.
As luck will have it, i finally remembered it.
"My name is Kutty, and i live down that side." I indicated pointing my finger to the direction.
"Do you live around here?"i further asked.
"Yes, i lives behind that Central Mosque over there." She pointed her finger to the direction.
"Eeeerm... Caro, hope you want mind me having your number?" I requested.
"I don't give out my number like that, do you have BB so i can give you my Pin?" She responded.
"BB ke? Wey i no see money buy new casing change my Nokia c3?" I asked inwardly.
"Yes, i have but my BB have started hanging recently, was still at the working place, and the repairer said it will take him about two weeks to be done with the work." I fired gigantic lie.
"I would'nt like to wait for such long before being it touch with you, kindly give me your number please." I added.
"07062545544, you can reach me anytime." she called out her number to me, as we parts way.
"Guys, i don land ooo." I barged into the room without knocking only to see Kenny playing with her girl's boobs.
"Kutty you don dey craze ni? U no fit knock again ba?" Kenny fired stupid question at me.
"Make better thunder fire you, shey i go knock before i enter the room wey me and you dey pay house rent because of this your worwor babe?" I dare not say it out, if i don't want mortal combat to ensue between us.
"I dey sorry, i no no say una don enta Indian mood." I said laughing, and they laughed too.
"See cup ooo." Nkasi said offering two cups.
"Make we call Akor nao, make he come join us." I suggested.
"You sure say, he don return from work?" Kenny quired.
"Yes, he don return, i saw light through im curtain when i dey return." i assured.
"Okay, go call him nao." Mastek Kenny sent me again.

[b]Helo my Gud people of Litteraturelanders, as flow1759 tori don dey finish, i no want make una stop to dey laff, datz why i invited all of una make una come follow my thread and continue lauqhin...
KUTTY AND THE GHETTO, IS THE STORY YOU WOULD'NT REGRET FOLLOWING.
I hereby invite dis ppl,(even those dat snubbed my initial invitation).
ABEG, NA GOD I TAKE BEG UN, MAKE UNA NO JUST READ AND GO, YOUR COMMENTS IS ALL I CRAVES FOR, WETHER APPRECIATION OR CRITICSM.
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specialguest(f), Ojiematthewgg, Whizkay(m), Graphy(f),
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michaelmo11:
Nice story, bro... I finally commented. But cross-check what you type before submission.. Thumbs up rounakid.

lol... Tnx plz always comment... Dnt be a stinqy reader....

Ajibo111:
passing by...............

*flaqs him down* wait Keke carry me go polling centre, make i qo draw souls for my man flw1759. *touqs out*

lizbethy:
wow! u got me laughing with dis story of urs,truth be told you've got a intresting writeup

tnx sweerie, prepare to lauqh more, jux help me invite readers...

After eating the delicious meal Plantain and beans prepared by Nkasi, i went outside to take some cool airs.
One thing that i like about Nkasi, is about her great command of dish setup.
She is the kind of woman who can snatch another lady's husband with just ordinary cooking, all she have to do is just to convice the man to eat the food, after that which he will sent his present wife packing.
"Wetin dey smell like this self?" I asked my self as i sitted on the Guava Tree on our compound.
A rheotrical question indeed.
"Why this mama Nkechi go dey pour beans water here?"I asked no one particulary.
As the odour emanating from the place, became unbearable, i decided to went inside and join Kenny and his girl on their discussion.
"Nkasi you sabi cook ooo." I complimented, trying to hit out topic.
"Thanks." she replied.
"I know say when Kenny marry you, na this kind thing he go dey enjoy." I furthermore, shining my 32(teeth).
Kenny give me one deadly look with frown, i just smiled.
I futhermore tried raising numerous topics, but anyone i bring on, just fade off like wet candle, while the continue there separate discussion between only two them.
This really got me pissed off, i angrily rise up from the bed and made for our wardrope with a thought of leaving them and taking a stroll.
"Kutty where you dey go?" Kenny quired.
"I dey go heaven" I gave him the best answer.
"Hahahaha, you sure say they go gree you enter? Anyway greet my Grandfather for me when you reached." He respond laughing hard with her girl.
"You dey mad, i tell you say na Hell i dey go, wey u dey ask me make i greet your Grandfather?"I tried being rude.
He just laughed it off as i head to the exit.
I went to Tony's house direct, on reaching there, i was informed of his absence then i left his place, a few thought running on my mind on where next to.
Yes! Rose, thats the best place, Rose my crush, the girl i have known for so long now, but i have'nt yet summoned courage to express my emotional feeling to her.
Albeit, i have started going to her place, i have also known that she have friendzone me.
I bring out my phone to notify her of my visitation, but something in me advised me against it, knowing fully well that she will request me to get her something, and am not with enough money at the moment, even at home.
Yes, that is Rose for you, she is type of lady that can be best described as Golddigger, all she want is just money.
Once she founds out that you are Maga, thats the end.
I knocked when i reached her house.
"Yes, who is there, come in?" Comes a beautiful voice from inside.
"Kutty, it was you? You did'nt even notify me of your visitation."She quired.
"Yes, i just want to take you by suprise." I responded smilling.
"Idiot you want person wey gon spend for you dis evening." I nearly said.
"You can have a sit." She offered, as i get sitted.
"Ooow, am farmished, i have'nt cook since i returned from school."Comes Rose.
That is one thing i hate about this girl, she was expecting me to ask her why, or perhaph give her money to buy something.
I just chuckled trying to eradicate the topic.
"Eeehen, when are you people taking una semester exam sef?" I mistakenly asked an Ss3 Student, all in the quest to clear topic.
I tried many more to raise a topic, but when i gave up was when she stuffed her ear with eardrum, listening to music.
"This girl wicked ooo," I murmured within me.
Was there for over one hour, not that i don't want to leave, but because of the fresh laps and boob she exposed for me to see.
"Omo God dey try wella ooo." I said within me, admiring her sexy laps and boobs since she is only putting on Bumpshot and Showbreast singlet as blouse.
"My John Thomas instantly starts rising up.
"C'mon you no go dey well." I cautioned it within me but he never heed.
Was still feasting my eyes, when i heard a knock.
A dark tall guy on Red shot and black polo enters the room.
Rose immediately rose up to giv him a hug.
I suppose he was her boyfriend, or so i thought.
"Kutty, please, i would be going out now, why don't you stand, lemme lead you towards the gate." She offered politely.
"Eeeeerm... Am about to go self." I tried covering my shame.
"Okay, good, stand lemme lead you out." She said.
"Never mind, you can start preparing so i don't waste your time, i can see my self through." I responded.
I tries standing but my John Thomas would'nt agree.
"Cha! Konji na bastard ooo." I mummured.
I thinked of what to do, and finally decide to adapt a new step, i stood up and brought my two legs together, adaptin a new wonderful step.
"Bros, why you dey walk like that na?" The visitor asked.
"Nothing, na so i dey walk when i dey happy." I responded as i head to exit.
Copyright© - Presley Kutty.

Typing...

Wow! Nice... Cc: ishilove obinoscopy mynd