₦airaland Forum

One Mr Ifeanyi Kenneth Okpoko, whose wife abandoned him for one of the pastors in Winners’ Chapel, has written a save my soul letter to Bishop David Oyedepo, Founder and General Overseer of the church.

According to the complainant, his banker wife, an area manager in an old generation bank, jilted him and went on to marry one Rev. Kelvin Ugwuoke who is a pastor at Winners’ chapel.

In a letter dated 13 November, 2014 titled Case of Adultery, Snatching of my Wife and Secret Marriage Engagement, Okpoko claimed that the Pastor in question secretly took his wife to Dubai and wedded her.

According to Okpoko, he legally married Blessing according to the marriage act and when he later discovered she had married Ugwuoke, also a banker, in Dubai and confronted her with some photographs, she moved to Ugwuoke’s home at Prime Water View Estate, Flat 8 in Lekki.

He said he married Blessing in 2001, adding that the marriage broke up in April 2013 when Blessing lied to him that she was going to Dubai for her banking job only for Ugwuoke to wed her secretly there.

He further said that when she returned from Dubai, her behavior totally changed, as she started picking quarrels all the time until information about the marriage and photographs got to him.

Saw this video yesterday, tiz cool

I mowed the lawn yesterday, and after that I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the beer facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with and answer to that.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and her is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child". On the other hand, you'll never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!.

Well...I rest my case. Time for another Beer; "Origin" while waiting for your opinion.

I always knew they was som'in special bout the Late Gaddafi

After reading you post, what comes to my mind is R-Kelly's piece; "Same Girl"

Ever had of HYPO BLEACH? If no, walk to any kiosk and ask of it. Then use a cotton bud to apply it on your lips. Smh!

chamboy:
nigga u b clown ooo, u just made my Grandma laugh

Tell her I miss her!

HrtBrkSteve:
Oya bro, talk na. Pipo wan hear u biko

chamboy:
analysis pls

pacesetter939:
Please, do a breakdown of your analysis.

Repositioning of the Economy
Implementation of Human Rights
Improved security Infrastructures
Transport especially Aviation
Improved Health sector as was noticed during the Ebola Epidemic
Job Creation; some ministries, commissions and departments called for applications TWICE this year
Etc.

If she's the only girl remaining, I'll turn a Priest!

6/10

And Seun follows like a fly, huh?

Bloody "TURN-ON" its is!
E.G. Sitting on a table with lotta friends and my girl grabs my "tennis" under the table but keeps a "holy" innocent face; HELL YEAH its a TURN-ON for me.

Hey kiddo, u haven't proved to her that u're relevant, that's why she has never called nor texted u. Forget the sex for now, wha u should focus on is trying to make her see that u're relevant, besides I believe u should stop the freebies; pocket money and the likes AH for two good years, little wonder she never initiates contact.

Point is if u show too much interest in a girl, she takes u fo granted.

Aha!!!! e-hate!

Could pass as a double tho

priscaoge:
I resemble person wey u know from school?

Proper Nigerian; answering a kwesion with another!

......

......

...

Sitting in the office today I came across a report written by a colleague of mine on the just concluded opening ceremony of the Akwa-Ibom State International Stadium; perusing further I noticed him make an entry about notifying "CONTROL" of a potential terrorist dressed in a lady's attire; reading further I notice that the reason was that through his S.scope he spotted a fully bearded individual dressed like a woman, and being the agent(a spotter) in charge of the sector made a request, asking the closest UC to move close for further observation only to discover that the suspect is in fact a bearded lady! Seeing this topic on FP made me recall the incident... We have ladies who in-fact have beards.


Culled from a forum.

Horlufemi:
All will die.

Except E

I actually prefer male teachers when it comes to subjects like Geometry, Arithmetic n The sorts, but I listen n concentrate more in literature subjects wen a lady is lecturing

Tomorrow never ends

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful

 “And proclaim the pilgrimage among humankind…” (Quran 22:26-27)

  “Those who perform Hajj and the Umrah are the guests of Allah. If they ask Him for something, He will grant it to them; if they call upon Him then He will answer them; if they intercede (for others), their intercession will be accepted; if they remain quiet, then He will begin to speak to them; for every dirham which they spend (on their trip to Hajj), they will receive one million dirhams in return” - Prophet Muhammad

“EVEN after 13 centuries, the Prophet’s spiritual presence is almost as alive here as it was then,” according to Muhammad Asad.

   When Muhammad Asad, the Austrian Jew who converted to Islam in 1926, made these comments, it was sequel to the spiritual-social impacts the Hajj exercise had wrought on him. But his experience is qualitatively different from that of Malcom X. Malcom is one Muslim who saw the light of Islam through his Hajj in April 1964. As a former member and speaker for the Nation of Islam, a black spiritual and nationalist movement, he believed that the white man was the devil and the black man was superior. He left the Nation of Islam in March 1964, travelled to Makkah for the Hajj and was completely transformed by the experience. The Hajj exercise changed Malcom X’s perspective to life. He ceased to be a racialist forever. He eventually chose the name Hajj Malik al-Shabbaz. His memoir on his experience in Hajj is highly germane. He wrote as follows:

  “There were tens of thousands of pilgrims from all over the world. They were of all colours, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had led me to believe never could exist between the white and the non-white.” 

  “You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to rearrange much of my thought patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfold. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.” 

  “During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass and slept in the same bed (or on the same rug)-while praying to the same God with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of the blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the actions and in the deeds of the “white” Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana. We are truly all the same-brothers. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.”

  But the significance of the Hajj exercise goes beyond the social-spiritual. Rather, the Hajj is sui generis in the way it has been structured by the Almighty and practiced by His apostle such that while the pilgrim is involved with the spiritual, she is celebrating the historical, while the pilgrim is engrossed in the historical he is engaged in the eschatological, while the pilgrims are immersed in the physical they are calling attention to the geographical. 

  Or how else do we explain the rites of the tawaf in the oldest house on earth, the Kaaba. The Kaaba, you should bear in mind, is located in Makkah. Whereas the Makkah is the epicenter of the world, the Ummul Qurah (the mother of all villages in the Quranic phraseology), the Kaaba, which is located inside the city of Makkah, actually occupies the center of the epicenter. The black stone inside the Kaaba is located, we are told by exegetes, at that point which corresponds to the spot where al-Arsh, the magnificent seat of Allah’s authority is located in the heavens.

   In other words, while the pilgrims are seen on earth circumambulating the black stone inside the Kaaba, while their voices are heard as they say “Labayka Allahuma labayk, - I have answered your call (O! Almighty), their eulogy of the Divine, their circuit round the Kaaba directly corresponds to the circuit of the angels round the inimitable and the indescribable throne of the Almighty. But that is not all.  

   Consider the Ihram, the white garment that pilgrims adorn for the Hajj exercise. These are two loose and unsewn garments the pilgrim put on for the hajj exercise. There is nothing like this on earth. The garments are a leveler-with it the mighty is reminded of the inconsequential nature of his status with the Almighty; the lowly is reminded that as far as He is concerned, the best of all is the most pious.

  What about the Tawaf round the Kaaba? This exemplifies the unity of our humanity as a direct manifestation of the unity of our origin and equally the direct manifestation of the unity of our Creator. Circumambulating the Kaaba, therefore, calls attention to the necessity for us as humans to constantly make the Almighty the centre of our activity; that no authority should orbit the space of our existence aside from Him.

   Now my reference to the iconic way in which the hajj fuses the historical with the spiritual and the manner in which the physical is seized upon by the Divine to become spiritual, I have in mind the experience of the wife of Prophet Ibrahim, Hajar and her son, Ismail. 

  I refer to Hajar’s search for water for her son in the then barren and hungry land of Makkah. While motherly love and care in Hajar was pushing her to run between the hills of Safa and Marwa, little did she know that she was actually being given an opportunity to partake of Divine redemption of humanity. Her search for water for Ismail, the Prophet, became a metaphor for humans’ search for the Almighty; the way Zam-Zam zoomed out from under the feet of her son, Ismail, became a signifier for the inexplicable ways by which despair can be turned to hope.

Written By Afis A. Oladosu

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful

 “And proclaim the pilgrimage among humankind…” (Quran 22:26-27)

  “Those who perform Hajj and the Umrah are the guests of Allah. If they ask Him for something, He will grant it to them; if they call upon Him then He will answer them; if they intercede (for others), their intercession will be accepted; if they remain quiet, then He will begin to speak to them; for every dirham which they spend (on their trip to Hajj), they will receive one million dirhams in return” - Prophet Muhammad

“EVEN after 13 centuries, the Prophet’s spiritual presence is almost as alive here as it was then,” according to Muhammad Asad.

   When Muhammad Asad, the Austrian Jew who converted to Islam in 1926, made these comments, it was sequel to the spiritual-social impacts the Hajj exercise had wrought on him. But his experience is qualitatively different from that of Malcom X. Malcom is one Muslim who saw the light of Islam through his Hajj in April 1964. As a former member and speaker for the Nation of Islam, a black spiritual and nationalist movement, he believed that the white man was the devil and the black man was superior. He left the Nation of Islam in March 1964, travelled to Makkah for the Hajj and was completely transformed by the experience. The Hajj exercise changed Malcom X’s perspective to life. He ceased to be a racialist forever. He eventually chose the name Hajj Malik al-Shabbaz. His memoir on his experience in Hajj is highly germane. He wrote as follows:

  “There were tens of thousands of pilgrims from all over the world. They were of all colours, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had led me to believe never could exist between the white and the non-white.” 

  “You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to rearrange much of my thought patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfold. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.” 

  “During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass and slept in the same bed (or on the same rug)-while praying to the same God with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of the blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the actions and in the deeds of the “white” Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana. We are truly all the same-brothers. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.”

  But the significance of the Hajj exercise goes beyond the social-spiritual. Rather, the Hajj is sui generis in the way it has been structured by the Almighty and practiced by His apostle such that while the pilgrim is involved with the spiritual, she is celebrating the historical, while the pilgrim is engrossed in the historical he is engaged in the eschatological, while the pilgrims are immersed in the physical they are calling attention to the geographical. 

  Or how else do we explain the rites of the tawaf in the oldest house on earth, the Kaaba. The Kaaba, you should bear in mind, is located in Makkah. Whereas the Makkah is the epicenter of the world, the Ummul Qurah (the mother of all villages in the Quranic phraseology), the Kaaba, which is located inside the city of Makkah, actually occupies the center of the epicenter. The black stone inside the Kaaba is located, we are told by exegetes, at that point which corresponds to the spot where al-Arsh, the magnificent seat of Allah’s authority is located in the heavens.

   In other words, while the pilgrims are seen on earth circumambulating the black stone inside the Kaaba, while their voices are heard as they say “Labayka Allahuma labayk, - I have answered your call (O! Almighty), their eulogy of the Divine, their circuit round the Kaaba directly corresponds to the circuit of the angels round the inimitable and the indescribable throne of the Almighty. But that is not all.  

   Consider the Ihram, the white garment that pilgrims adorn for the Hajj exercise. These are two loose and unsewn garments the pilgrim put on for the hajj exercise. There is nothing like this on earth. The garments are a leveler-with it the mighty is reminded of the inconsequential nature of his status with the Almighty; the lowly is reminded that as far as He is concerned, the best of all is the most pious.

  What about the Tawaf round the Kaaba? This exemplifies the unity of our humanity as a direct manifestation of the unity of our origin and equally the direct manifestation of the unity of our Creator. Circumambulating the Kaaba, therefore, calls attention to the necessity for us as humans to constantly make the Almighty the centre of our activity; that no authority should orbit the space of our existence aside from Him.

   Now my reference to the iconic way in which the hajj fuses the historical with the spiritual and the manner in which the physical is seized upon by the Divine to become spiritual, I have in mind the experience of the wife of Prophet Ibrahim, Hajar and her son, Ismail. 

  I refer to Hajar’s search for water for her son in the then barren and hungry land of Makkah. While motherly love and care in Hajar was pushing her to run between the hills of Safa and Marwa, little did she know that she was actually being given an opportunity to partake of Divine redemption of humanity. Her search for water for Ismail, the Prophet, became a metaphor for humans’ search for the Almighty; the way Zam-Zam zoomed out from under the feet of her son, Ismail, became a signifier for the inexplicable ways by which despair can be turned to hope.
Written By Afis A. Oladosu

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful

 “And proclaim the pilgrimage among humankind…” (Quran 22:26-27)

  “Those who perform Hajj and the Umrah are the guests of Allah. If they ask Him for something, He will grant it to them; if they call upon Him then He will answer them; if they intercede (for others), their intercession will be accepted; if they remain quiet, then He will begin to speak to them; for every dirham which they spend (on their trip to Hajj), they will receive one million dirhams in return” - Prophet Muhammad

“EVEN after 13 centuries, the Prophet’s spiritual presence is almost as alive here as it was then,” according to Muhammad Asad.

   When Muhammad Asad, the Austrian Jew who converted to Islam in 1926, made these comments, it was sequel to the spiritual-social impacts the Hajj exercise had wrought on him. But his experience is qualitatively different from that of Malcom X. Malcom is one Muslim who saw the light of Islam through his Hajj in April 1964. As a former member and speaker for the Nation of Islam, a black spiritual and nationalist movement, he believed that the white man was the devil and the black man was superior. He left the Nation of Islam in March 1964, travelled to Makkah for the Hajj and was completely transformed by the experience. The Hajj exercise changed Malcom X’s perspective to life. He ceased to be a racialist forever. He eventually chose the name Hajj Malik al-Shabbaz. His memoir on his experience in Hajj is highly germane. He wrote as follows:

  “There were tens of thousands of pilgrims from all over the world. They were of all colours, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had led me to believe never could exist between the white and the non-white.” 

  “You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to rearrange much of my thought patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfold. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.” 

  “During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass and slept in the same bed (or on the same rug)-while praying to the same God with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of the blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the actions and in the deeds of the “white” Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana. We are truly all the same-brothers. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.”

  But the significance of the Hajj exercise goes beyond the social-spiritual. Rather, the Hajj is sui generis in the way it has been structured by the Almighty and practiced by His apostle such that while the pilgrim is involved with the spiritual, she is celebrating the historical, while the pilgrim is engrossed in the historical he is engaged in the eschatological, while the pilgrims are immersed in the physical they are calling attention to the geographical. 

  Or how else do we explain the rites of the tawaf in the oldest house on earth, the Kaaba. The Kaaba, you should bear in mind, is located in Makkah. Whereas the Makkah is the epicenter of the world, the Ummul Qurah (the mother of all villages in the Quranic phraseology), the Kaaba, which is located inside the city of Makkah, actually occupies the center of the epicenter. The black stone inside the Kaaba is located, we are told by exegetes, at that point which corresponds to the spot where al-Arsh, the magnificent seat of Allah’s authority is located in the heavens.

   In other words, while the pilgrims are seen on earth circumambulating the black stone inside the Kaaba, while their voices are heard as they say “Labayka Allahuma labayk, - I have answered your call (O! Almighty), their eulogy of the Divine, their circuit round the Kaaba directly corresponds to the circuit of the angels round the inimitable and the indescribable throne of the Almighty. But that is not all.  

   Consider the Ihram, the white garment that pilgrims adorn for the Hajj exercise. These are two loose and unsewn garments the pilgrim put on for the hajj exercise. There is nothing like this on earth. The garments are a leveler-with it the mighty is reminded of the inconsequential nature of his status with the Almighty; the lowly is reminded that as far as He is concerned, the best of all is the most pious.

  What about the Tawaf round the Kaaba? This exemplifies the unity of our humanity as a direct manifestation of the unity of our origin and equally the direct manifestation of the unity of our Creator. Circumambulating the Kaaba, therefore, calls attention to the necessity for us as humans to constantly make the Almighty the centre of our activity; that no authority should orbit the space of our existence aside from Him.

   Now my reference to the iconic way in which the hajj fuses the historical with the spiritual and the manner in which the physical is seized upon by the Divine to become spiritual, I have in mind the experience of the wife of Prophet Ibrahim, Hajar and her son, Ismail. 

  I refer to Hajar’s search for water for her son in the then barren and hungry land of Makkah. While motherly love and care in Hajar was pushing her to run between the hills of Safa and Marwa, little did she know that she was actually being given an opportunity to partake of Divine redemption of humanity. Her search for water for Ismail, the Prophet, became a metaphor for humans’ search for the Almighty; the way Zam-Zam zoomed out from under the feet of her son, Ismail, became a signifier for the inexplicable ways by which despair can be turned to hope.

Nairaland got geniuses; want em to crack this one ...

You are relocating to some new town due to a hurricane devastating your former residence, driving past a bus stop in the new town you see three people who have missed the bus; One, an old woman who is in a critical condition and needs to be in a hospital; Two, your best friend(who took a bullet for you back then and saved your life) on his way for an interview on d same route as the old lady's hospital; Three, the woman you always dreamed of meeting. What do you do as your car can only carry one passenger?

Interesting

Came across these and decided to share, add yours...

No one know wha will happen next.

But I think this will make FP