₦airaland Forum

ronkebp:
SAGALULU, this your post too long, haba!!!

Long, interesting and every inch of it is insightful.

queensmith:
There is always adoption, don't understand why women will treat themselves this way, the solution is in a selection of motherless baby homes! take your pick!

And what is new about the social divide?? Oooo the daily mail? Why did i come here! *rolls eyess* probably a whole load of bul crap!

This ediot with her moronic thought process again.

How can you compare lack of ability to produce your own child to adoption.

Solution of a fooool!

Adoption is a last resort, not the solution.

People should help me read this article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2105047/Why-divorced-men-suddenly-catch-They-second-hand-domesticated-grown-scared-commitment.html

Someone try and extract from it anywhere where the women talked about adding anything to the guys in it's life.

It is a typical example of the type's of indoctrination of women in the West that I have been screaming about on NL. It just tells them to take, take, take. There is no give it the philosophy. Men are there to put them on a pedestal, they have to do nothing but they deserve to be on a pedestal. It is ME, ME, ME!

This is how L'Oreals are created in the West.

I don't know what kind of men marry these goats that have nothing to offer! One fcking guarantee is that it will not be me that will settle for such women or even take such women seriously.

I read through the whole thing and I could not find a single thing the woman pointed out they bring to the relationship. But they are talking about some men not being "man enough" or "real men".

tkb417:
Saga how far?

Iwor? O shi wa la'ye yi sha?

Abeg, helep me go and beg Boko Haram about that thing I discussed with you the last time. Dem dey spoil show. No discuss the thing here sha.

cantell:
Still better than your deadbeat father.
Assz kisser!

Stop speaking about your life.

mens dept:
And Complacent people dont use their brains at all, but are willing to go along with the same B.S. that they saw last year.

Go ahead, clap for yourself

Explain to me how it is the same when only about 8 are invited?

Do you know the meaning of a team?

Do you understand the dynamics in a team?

I wait.

afam4eva:
How can he work for a government he termed useless. What does that make him?

How does terming a government useless affect his ability to perform the task he has been given?

[size=18pt]Consumed by baby envy: The new social divide between women struggling in their late 30s to become pregnant and friends who have children[/size]

Karen Veness always thought herself a calm, rational and amiable woman.
But in her early 30s she suddenly became bitter, resentful and mean-spirited towards friends and even to her own sister-in-law.
The depth of her anger, jealousy and hatred took her completely by surprise.

‘I was feeling this really horrible set of emotions and it was a side of me I didn’t think I had - a very black side,’ says Karen, a 45-year-old writer in Nottingham.
‘My anger at the time was palpable. I felt physically sick.’
And the reason for her dramatic personality change? She was suffering from profound fertility envy.
Karen was married and in her early 30s when she discovered that she would struggle to conceive. Knowing she wanted a family, and concerned that her fertility might have been compromised after her appendix burst during her 20s, she went for tests and learned one of her fallopian tubes was damaged.

But as she began her fight against infertility, it seemed that everyone around her was getting pregnant.
Most painful of all, Karen’s sister-in-law announced her pregnancy just as Karen and her husband James were starting IVF.
The prospect that a new child would soon arrive in the family knocked Karen for six.
From then on, Karen avoided contact with the expectant woman. ‘I couldn’t listen to anyone going on about being pregnant,’ she says. ‘I’d have probably told them I hated them or something.’
Her bitterness extended to every woman with a swollen belly who crossed her path. ‘These people had what I thought I’d never have,’ adds Karen. ‘Often I’d just fall into a heap and sob.’
While Karen was shocked by her personality change, her behaviour is by no means unusual. Counsellors who work in the field of infertility say feelings of anger or jealousy towards friends who have had babies are more common than not.
And, as more women leave motherhood until later in life, and consequently struggle to conceive, feelings like Karen’s are becoming increasingly common.

Nearly a fifth of British women are childless at menopause, statistics show -  some by choice but many others by circumstance.
As Karen knows all too well, infertility can leave women feeling excluded from a privileged members-only club. At the same time, invitations to christenings and ultrasound scans posted on Facebook remind them of what they cannot do.
‘When people are diagnosed with an infertility problem, it’s almost as if women with baby bumps or prams start coming out of cracks in the pavement,’ says Diane Arnold, who provides support to women and couples via the Infertility Network UK’s professional advice line for members.
‘You want to be pleased for your friends, but deep down you’re thinking: “Go away with your babies,” ’ she adds.
But the topic of fertility and friendship can be taboo, and women often find their jealousy is compounded by guilt.
‘You feel like such an awful person. You don’t understand how you can feel mean towards someone who’s having a baby, but you do,’ says Karen.
Norah Harding, an infertility counsellor who helps couples through fertility treatment with stress-reduction techniques, agrees the emotions women experience can be multi-layered.
‘On top of feeling envy and a sense of failure as a woman, you can feel doubly bad because you’ve also become a bitter person,’ says Harding, of Reframe Counselling and Psychotherapy.
In surveys, women say infertility is the worst thing that has ever happened to them, even when compared to the death of a loved one, says Harding, who’s noticed an increase in people seeking emotional support around infertility.  ‘When someone else seems to get pregnant easily or accidentally - that can be really difficult to take.’
Karen found herself in that position when a work colleague announced her baby news just after Karen and James had decided to go down the IVF route.
‘I remember she would joke: “My husband only has to look at me and I’m pregnant,” ’ she says. ‘I could have throttled her.’
And when Karen heard her sister-in-law had given birth — just before Karen had eggs implanted after a first cycle of IVF — her response to her husband was: “So what”? She refused to go and see her baby nephew.
Then, there was good news for Karen — her IVF worked first time and she quickly reverted to her bubbly, optimistic self. It was as if a switch had been flipped.

‘I suddenly had the biggest smile and was full of cuddles for babies everywhere,’ says Karen. ‘Overnight, I went from being a recluse to being this happy, generous person who was delighted to see pregnant women or their children.’
When she was a couple of months pregnant, Karen visited her sister-in-law and for the first time met her nephew, by then a few months old.
Karen never discussed her infertility or her envy with her sister-in-law and both sides of the family moved on as if nothing had happened.
Soon, though, the shoe was on the other foot.
To her surprise, Karen conceived her second child, Georgia, naturally not long after the birth of her first daughter, Holly, and she had to break the news of her new pregnancy to a close friend who had failed with IVF.
‘She was shell-shocked. She couldn’t hug me.
She found it really hard to deal with,’ says Karen, whose daughters are now aged 13 and 12.

Fortunately, her friend did eventually have a baby herself and the relationship survived the infertility rollercoaster.
But things aren’t always so straightforward. Becky Bramall, a 26-year-old social worker from Hull, lost a friendship completely due to infertility.
Becky and her husband Mike spent two years trying to conceive naturally before finding out they both had infertility issues.
‘My close friend already had a child but that wasn’t a big problem,’ she says. ‘I didn’t mind being around children - it was pregnant women I struggled with.’
Then, one morning, Becky’s friend texted her to say she was pregnant again. ‘I was devastated,’ she says.
‘She already had a little girl. I knew then it was going to be too hard for me to continue with that friendship.’
As her friend’s pregnancy progressed, Becky found it increasingly hard to see her stomach growing or to look at her scan pictures. She gradually withdrew, not responding to messages.
‘I found myself getting increasingly upset and it just made it so hard every month when I got my period,’ says Becky, who eventually stopped seeing her friend altogether after about five months.
‘She did contact me not long after her daughter was born and asked if she’d done anything wrong. I explained to her that it wasn’t personal — I just couldn’t be around pregnant women. I just felt numb.’
Becky and her husband did finally conceive, through IVF, and now they have a three-month-old son, Finley.
After Finley’s birth, her friend congratulated her via Facebook, but the two haven’t spoken.
Becky thinks that friendship is over for good and she still struggles with feelings of bitterness.
‘People think that once you’ve had a child, all the pain goes away. But it doesn’t,’ she explains.

‘I look at my brother and sister-in-law who have two children who are close together in age and I think, we’re never going to have another child without it being a massive procedure.
'The anger and frustration that we can’t just have what everyone else seems to get so easily is still there.’
And things can be just as difficult on the other side of the fence. In a poll of 354 women conducted by the pregnancy and parenting website BabyCentre.co.uk, 86 per cent of women said they felt guilty when telling friends who were trying to conceive that they were pregnant.
While every woman deals with things differently, Norah Harding says some friendships may need to be ‘parked’ if one party is struggling to conceive, to be picked up again later when things have been resolved or feelings are less raw.
‘If you feel like people are walking on eggshells around you, that doesn’t help either,’ she says. ‘When you’re struggling with a sense of hopelessness, you’re very sensitive to imagined or intended slights.’
Sometimes friendships are never quite the same again.
One 41-year-old mother-of-two, who says the issue is so sensitive she doesn’t want to be named, explains she’s struggled for years with a friend she made at university 20 years ago, who has unexplained infertility issues.

‘She’s been awful to be around,’ says the part-time teacher from London. ‘She’ll invite my husband and me to a barbecue and then add the comment: “Please don’t bring your children,” which makes it hard for us to go.
‘She tries to airbrush my children out of my life - she is always trying to organise weekends away with “the girls” which are almost impossible as we all have children.
‘I feel very angry that because of her reaction to her infertility, I always have to tiptoe around the subject of children.
‘I do try to be understanding and have changed the way we socialise to try to deal with the problem, suggesting we meet for weekday lunches when I’m not with my children. I have even thought about dropping the friendship. But, then, what kind of friend would I be?’
Experts say the best solution to fertility jealousy is to talk openly about what’s going on.
‘Women who experience fertility problems need to give themselves a break and be kind to themselves,’ says Anya Sizer, support co-ordinator at the London Women’s Clinic.

‘Feeling envious at a baby shower or fed up of seeing pregnant women doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a human being.’
But talking about fertility jealousy can be difficult even for the closest of friends.
Clare Axworthy, 32, and Julia Shields, 33, have been good friends since they met through work at a publishing company in 2005.
But, a few years ago, their relationship was threatened by infertility. Both women began trying for a second child around the same time — their first children were only nine months apart.
Julia became pregnant straight away and instantly told Clare, assuming the same would happen to her. But Clare went on to struggle for a year.
They continued to work side-by-side, but the relationship changed as Julia’s pregnancy progressed.
‘Julia was such a brilliant friend, but seeing her every day with her big belly was so hard,’ says Clare. ‘I felt that it wasn’t fair. Her body was a physical reminder of what I couldn’t do.’
At one point Julia, now a full-time mother from North Somerset, tried to talk to Clare about her pregnancy but she clammed up, denying that there was anything wrong.
‘I couldn’t say to a really good friend that I couldn’t hang out with her because I felt bitter, jealous and insecure,’ says Clare, who lives in London with her husband.
Clare did eventually conceive, just as Julia’s baby was born, and both women went on to have a third child. Clare says they both agree their friendship is as strong as ever now, but she admits things could have been very different.
‘Had I not got pregnant again, I’m not sure how I’d have dealt with it, and I might have cut her off a bit,’ she says.
‘I think it would have been really difficult for us to stay such close friends.’
Sadly, there are an increasing number of women in Britain who know just how that feels.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2102376/Baby-envy-The-new-social-divide.html

Let this baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastard reetarded mooron shut up!

What is an insult is the fact fucktards like him put a criminal like Audu forward as ACN governorship candidate despite having already looted the state and was facing a court case.

Arsewipe! I hope he faces a miserable, painful death.

afam4eva:
Ribadu is a shameless pig. How could he work with a government that he sooo castigated when he was a presidential candidate under ACN. Our politicians never cease to surprise us. They're all the same irrespective of party affiliation. They're all pigs.

So he can not take a position to improve a nation because he has castigated the government the people chose?

Stop chatting shyt!

I don't know anything about Okorocha or what he is doing but my gut feeling tells me he has good intentions especially considering his popularity in the elections.

But based on the 2 points in this thread, I have a feeling he is not that competent. He is probably one of those typical one-man business owners without knowledge and track record of strategic thinking or best practice application. Such people just throw money at the first good thing that comes to their mind.

In my opinion, I don't see the sense in dishing our N100K to every Tom, Obinna and Nwachukwu when you can invest the same money in upgrading the infrastructure of the university and tell them to go for free. Does the university even have sufficient and quality hostels? Does it have 24 hours light? Does it have enough classrooms? Does it have a top library, maybe an online one? etc why not invest the money on such project directly and make it an institution worth going to.

Then the one of suspending pay of people you suspect of doing wrong in public service is just laughable. It demonstrates the mentality of the average Nigerian in Nigeria is major league fcked! In my world, they will be filmed by state TV handcuffed and carried by policemen one by one without their legs touching the floor from their offices to a Black Maria van.

Okorocha, good intentions, limited competence!

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=872140.msg10214544#msg10214544 date=1329468433]What type of roads?!

Take pictures and show me?!

Amaechi in Rivers state is constructing roads with underground drainage systems. INFACT no road in rivers State, be it street, lane, close or express would be commisioned if it does not have a drainage system that empties out into another and leads to the rivers.

I hope its not just the usual tarr and go roads that he is building. This one its taking him 4 months to finish. [/quote]Now that is what we call delivery with brains.

It is one thing to have ideas, it is another to deliver it with brains.

cantell:
Nah. The bad jawline and the funky face was a dead giveaway.
It's definitely you.

This is coming from someone that looks like an armed robber?

mens dept:
You like the list?

I guess you guys will never change. Thank goodness there are some black folks out there (Zambia) that take one thing or the other serious.

If this news is true (this sorrowful list), then Keshi is business as usual. After not qualifying for Nations Cup you'd think we would rebuild for once in our miserable current state of affairs as a Nation, but no, we are still those of the Nigga.Area

Congrats

torres2:
Why FATKUBU this time this guy has failed, leave him 4 his destiny. I will never forget that match, s/a, 2010, once in a life time, o my grandmother that never played before we score that goal.

Intelligent people don't use their emotions to make decisions, they mainly use their brains.

queensmith:
^^*vomits*

Obviously the rod and the brains is not available to girls of your class. Not even if all women in the world was like you.

If all women in the world were like you, I will rather copy moremi and DIY. The only difference is, unlike him, I will have something significant to hold.

Thank God there are many beautiful women in the world though.

moremi2008:
That's not what we just heard oh! Marathon on top 1.5in? You've been smoking that ish again. Don't you have GMAT remedial classes to attend? Or dumpsters to thoroughly investigate?

Cretin, they love my rod and brains. Girls don't go for daft guys like you, go DIY.

queensmith:
it amuses me to see you sulk like this, i find it amusing.

carry on id[i]i[/i]ot!

It makes me ecstatic to see everyone left, right and centre attack you and say the same thing to your Obese arse. That is:

You have a vile character upon your ugliness.

I am beginning to think you are not mentally balanced (like Becomerich and cap28) because someone can not be these wrong from head to toe.

Muki Muki and Colin Udoh seem to have missed out that Victor Moses was also invited.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17064050

And I am also seeing a Kalu Uche in the Home based list. Don't know if that is a different guy.

queensmith:
who said anything about medical schoolmoron?

Shut up, cretin!

White men or Black men will not want your Obese arse. No fcking loyalty can save you from that.

queensmith:
@saga's post, that bunch of hypocritical racist bull poo should be added to a thread titled the dumbest i've ever heard! mshew!
what a whole load da crap! i cant get over how silly you sound. dear lawd almighty- black men date white women because they have swagger? they are strong? o spare me the arrogant bull crap PUHLEEEEZE!

Without being racist, let me tell you. The reason most interracial couples are blackmen/whitewomen is because black men are the least loyal of all races, they are least respecting of black woman. and only black men use the women as an excuse for their life failures.
Unfortunately when it comes to black women, the sentiment isn't reciprocated. I would have stated white men actually do find black women attractive but that will just be speculation I have no time to prove. Nevertheless the women serve the men with undeserved loyalty, and that is why they don't tend to date other men.
and if i was to be racist, i will say it's because black men are easy, and will date anything in skirt.

Dayo, your having a laugh arent u? Your having a joke? your going to compare DAILY COMPULSORY activities to the odd hypothetical one? SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? I cant indulge the argument it's a foolish one. If a man will compare mowing the lawn (something i'm sure most of them don't even do!) to strenious things women find themselves doing every day, like cooking for 5 hours. Then I don't see the point.

talking like every man is a mechanic or knows a damn thing about electrical appliances, mshew, men are not needed for anything around the home. Any woman that says otherwise is as slow as the men that drive their wives as slaves.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you "Dr".

What utter idoicy and a whole bunch of poohuna!

This one will pass Medical School as "Doctor"?

Yeah right! Only in the same medical school as fstranger. (i.e. the one that does not exist)

jamace:
1. I used "he" because he was part of the security forces.
2. How casual is casual?
3. How can he refuse order from his superior for not having the right gear when the gear is not available in the inventory of the NPF? (It seems you are completely oblivious of the state of equipment in our security forces). If you have not done reconnaissance, how do you determine what it is and how to go about defusing or disposing it? {?}. I can't just imagine how many bags will be shot at in a day. LWKMD.
 4.   Your comment shocked me. Why are you talking of equipment that does not exist in NPF inventory?

Bros, you dey naija at all?  oh! sorry o, the bobo dey LONDON. No wonderrrrr!!!

1. That is why it was dubious. Efan Ekoku was also part of the team but I will not call him a hero and defend the assertion by saying he was the one that won us ANC except I was trying to be sneaky and defend a weak point.
2. If I saw him even wear a motor-bike helmet and holding a metal shield, I would say he was at least behaving like someone aware of the risk even if it would not save him.
3. I am yet to be convinced no bomb apparel exists in the NPF. You are making an uninformed assumption as far as I am concerned. Reconnaissance is going to have an observation, not going to open a bomb package. In the UK, if you are not sure what is in it and there is no safe way to find out, they BLOW it up. Why couldn't they blow it up or even shoot it? It will be better to shoot 100 bags a day than have your leg blown 100 metres away. I lie?
4. As I said, not yet convinced. Assumption!

moremi2008:
It's a bit tragic that you're wasting your beauty and talent with Shagamumu. The poor boy can't even get into Wharton! He's not worth it. Come roll with me, I'll show the the world and all its glory.

Just continue [i]w[/i]anking because women will never want the earth-worm between your legs.

You can keep on hating that sexy women like Busy-body are always calling me over for weekend marathons.

hbabe:
Nothing to be sorry about. You will be surprised to learn where his strength lies.
We all have our strength and weaknesses.
Things will change.
I plan to draw out a schedule over the weekend so we know who does what. He cannot cook to save his life so cooking still comes to me but I intend to teach him how to make basic meals.

I hope you used my Ferrari analogy for him?

I hope you told him you were a Ferrari that needs to be handled with care?

It helps with the clarity.

jamace:
1. Are you saying the police man is not a security officer?
2. How is he supposed to approach the suspected object? Running, hopping, crawling, rolling or what?
3. How are you sure he was not detailed for the task by his superior? And for your information, you don't just shoot at a bag you don't know the content, merely on suspicion and inside a town for that matter. If the police do, then, the whole country will be like a war zone, causing more fear among the citizens.
4. If there was no danger to lives, why should the material be suspected in the first place?

1. You used "he", which was a dubious attempt to over-credit him to back a weak point. That is as dubious as saying Efan Ekoku is the hero that won Nigerian the 1994 ANC.
2. Approach it cautiously, with fear, otherwise do not approach it at all. You don't think it is senseless to approach a suspected bomb casually like if you are made of steel?
3. We don't know what happened but if he was detailed, he should refuse without the right gear (although I know Nigeria is different). He can refuse based on no gear or not being qualified. If he was qualified, I am sure he would not approach the package like that because anyone qualified knows bombs can be detonated remotely and will not think it is safe to approach for reconnaissance. Why can't you just shoot at a bag? How will shooting at a bag "inside a town" turn the country to a place "like a war zone"?
4. You don't get it. The situation was under control until he went there. The package was identified. The place was evacuated. Everything was safe until he went there. It was not a danger to anyone, so no need to rush like a fooool to go and check it without the right equipment or at least some precaution. That was not heroic, that was foolish.

jamace:
To conclude, I don't think the policeman wanted to show heroism but only responded to the call of duty, with or without necessary equipment which is the situation with the security forces in Nigeria.
Bros, let's leave the issue like that. It has happened and it has happened. It is a professional hazard. May his soul rest in peace.

P.S: Please, help campaign for our security men to be properly equipped. The Nigerian security forces are determined to perform.

He foolishly and casually went about his call of duty. There is nothing heroic about him.

The place had been cleared. The immediate danger of injury to anyone was minimised virtually to zero. Evident in the fact he was the only one injured when the thing exploded.

Just a little bit of brain work and planning and maybe he would be here alive without one hand and his two legs (but is not dead).