₦airaland Forum

[quote author=born_to_be_gr8t]OP if u are gona take any advice,pls use a guys' advice,cos na only men knw hw men dey think...take a womans advice at ur own detriment jus straff d babe nd free her abeg.[/quote]I don't think that will be a good idea either... Thanks still.

Dyt: Don't touch her o
Na trap
If u chop u must vomit o
Jst ignore all her passes

Seriously, jst ontroduce both of them to eachother
She wld change
We ladies don't like to b put below another
Try it

Thanks so much; I'd definitely try this out.

[quote author=born_to_be_gr8t] broda i second ur motion[/quote]I would want to believe that's one of the things she wants, she's been humming marriage to my ears and I know that I cannot afford to get close to her.

Dyt: Are u sure u don't touch her when she comes?

Call ur woman, introduce them, say swt words to ur woman, kiss her, do all sorts and after this if she no gree go then I dunno o

i've never touched her before... Thanks though.

Dear readers, this is a serious issue and I consider it above me because I'm lost.
I met a girl about 6 years ago; and I really liked her and loved her at the same time. I asked her out then and she 'agreed partially' but all through that period, it was a living hell for me because she would remind me that we weren't dating but would always expect the best from me. She treated me badly then, like I didn't matter, probably because her phone was always brimming with callers, of which all are guys.

Fast forward to late 2012...

All through the years, I was in pain and I couldn't think straight. It did take me a lot of time to get over her. Until late last year... She started frquenting my house, even when I'm not around. She played nice to my mum and younger sister just to get closer to them. After discovering her motive, her stylishly told her I have a lady I'm about getting married to, which is true, just to ward her off. Surprisingly, she didn't step away from me, rather, she moved closer than ever. I got irritated by her presence that I'd call my fiance just to make her know I'm taken but she wouldn't bulge still.
She still frequents my house, believing I'll change my mind and accept her but I can't because I don't love her anymore. I don't want her close to me and I don't want to sound rude.
I really need advise on this.

People, after noticing and battling with their flaws, comfort themselves as a new year emerges, promising not to do some things they do in other to turn a new leaf. Do you believe just by saying you won't do something you don't like doing will stop it? Does it really work? Do you actually believe in New Year resolutions?

[quote author=Licensed-2-Kill]Almost funny i almost laughed[/quote]Hehehehehehehe! It's still funny to me that I haven't stopped laughing!!

Below are quotes of past leaders, politicians and high profile personalities in Nigeria.

1. We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook to Nigeria - Information Minister, Laraban Maku.

2. You press men, you always say there are no minerals in Kano, we have Coca-Cola, Fants, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite - Bakin Zuwo.

3. Foreign Investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria - GEJ

4. I will water your school and fire your school - Orji Uzor Kalu.

5. Nigerians don't panic, terrorist attack is everywhere; maybe it's our turn - GEJ.

6. I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide - Dame Patience Jonathan.

7. I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is =N=850,000 - Atiku Abubakar.

8. Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria - Umuro Dikko.

9. Telephone is not meant for the poor - David Mark.

10. The worth of a child born and bred in Nigeria cannot be compared to that of the United States - Yakubu Gowon.

11. School is not meant for the poor, only for the rich - Ikedi Ikiri Ohakim.

12. At 50, Britain was still battling with King Arthur and the Knights of the round table. So Nigeria is not doing too badly - Allyson Diezeani Madueke.

13. Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election - Former President, Olusegun Obasanjo.

14. The corp members were destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny - Mallam Isa Yaguda, Governor, Bauchi State.

15. On behalf of =N=20Million Naira, I donate my family - Dame Patience Jonathan.

16. We, the PDP did not win this election. I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result - Chris Uba.

17. I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment - Dame Patience Jonathan.

18. I can see camera people are everywhere, are they going to televise us alive? - Dame Patience Jonathan.

#ICan'tFitLaugh#

Upon seeing this thread most NLers would say Ronaldo de Lima is better than the stylish Cristiano Ronaldo, while the rest, probably die hard fans of CR7 will say he is far better than 'the original Ronaldo'
Ronaldo de Lima, as everyone knows, is the first to pop into the picture. One of the most feared striker of the game, followed by CR7 who not only silenced critics over the years but has found solace in breaking records year in, year out with his incredible abilities and even earned BBC's title of 'The Most Complete footballer'
In a period of 19 years, De Lima pulled 365 goals (amazing, right?) while the stylish Ronaldo racked up a total of 407 goals within 11 years.
Without sentiments and with constructive argument(s), which of these two do you think is the best Ronaldo?

@op, you made a mistake along the line. You ought to have asked for a redefinition before marriage. You see, I'm close to getting married and I had the same problem that it was difficult to let go. I believe confrontations would work at this point. Betterstill, you two should go see a marriage counsellor, that should work as well. And as a man, I can tell you that the best way to show your grieviances is after you excite him in bed; that should get to him if he respects you at all. People don't change in marriage, they only enhance what they were before marriage. Just try to avoid picking fights with him in order no to chase him to the myster lady. You deserve to be happy as a lady. In my case, nobody asked me to stop, I was matured enough to think it has got to stop. Good luck!

I saw this funny post on FB and I felt like sharing it...

1. Don't ask him for money.
2. Stop asking him for money.
3. Forget about money.
4. Give him money.
5. Believe you don't need money.

... Say it would work, can girls really stick to this?

Baby mama: You make 60k a month probably living in a "face me I shoot you " and you wan marry?
Chai
Women don suffer
Do you know how much SMA gold costs
Diaper Nko?

Either face me I shoot you or face me I slap you, I'm sure one of the criteria the OP didn't include is a woman who can see beyond her nose. Every great man starts small. The Scriptures even said do not despise days of little beginnings. He's not requesting for a 'chicken and chips' lady and may I add that the OP will in a way save ahead of rainy days. I'm sure you'll find that special someone bro. Sha don't forget to call me when you're set.

Baby mama: You make 60k a month probably living in a "face me I shoot you " and you wan marry?
Chai
Women don suffer
Do you know how much SMA gold costs
Diaper Nko?

Either face me I shoot you or face me I slap you, I'm sure one of the criteria the OP didn't include is a woman who can see beyond her nose. Every great man starts small. The Scriptures even said do not despise days of little beginnings. He's not requesting for a 'chicken and chips' lady and may I add that the OP will in a way save ahead of rainy days. I'm sure you'll find that special someone bro. Sha don't forget to call me when you're set.

andymofia: People like you will marry someone someone who snores like a Harley Davidson's engine and be like... 'oh, my partner's snoring is melodical, it helps me fall asleep fast". smh

Hehehehehehehehehehe! Music to my ears kind of snore.


#LAFFS#

The purpose of this thread is for NLers to put up what their perfect Christmas gift would be.

Erhm...

Starting with me, mine would be a fat bank account.
.
.
.
.
What would yours be?

As a young child, I listened to funny stories of how young boys above puberty are disturbed by sperm builds, probably in their scrotal sac and how their parents would take these young boys to prostitutes to 'get' some of the fluid from their system.
This isn't a cook-up story because it stopped being funny and scare filled my thoughts, even as a teenager. Mom told me a similar story and that it happened to her friend's child, and then the stories kept on coming from different sources.
It even caused me to open up to sex shortly after the controversial teenagehood phase passed.

Is there really such thing and does it really cause parents to ward off their son(s) to prostitutes after being told by a 'medical doctor' that such is the only know solution?

How did it these start?

1. Why are the children of this present day not told the folktales and folklores we were told at nights as children?

2. When did we take to publicizing and uploading our sex lives on social media just for massive comments and likes?

3. Whatever happened to the respect we once had for our skins that has caused us to tattoo every decent part of it?

4. Whatever happened to the black, shiny Nigerian ladies that once roamed the nation? (you can hardly see any black lady around these days. Thanks to diverse creams, all our ladies have turned white).

5. Whatever happened to the once loving, protective Nigerians who valued their lives more than money?

6. We said MJ was insane but most Nigerians practically bathe themselves to become the trendiest MJ in town. Where did we go wrong?

7. Whatever happened to the didactic songs we once listened to as kids from artistes such as Mike Okri, C. Igbokwe, Onyeka Owenu et al?

8. What happened to the Adam & Eve instruction that saw the emergency of 'Ada & Eve'(LEZ) and
'Adam and Steve'(GAYS) syndrome?

9. Why do our ladies lose their most prized asset for gadgets that won't be in-vogue in 5 years time?

10. Why does almost every fair guy I come across have pink lips? Is it that they are addicted to OK pop sweets or the local 'BALEWA' candy we ate as kids?

11. Why has sex come to be a 'bonus' of every 'sane' relationship today?

12. When was the last time our parents sat us down to teach us morals?

13. What happened to the strength in our diversified society and the respect for the religion of others?

14. How on earth does a 5 year old boy know that there is a haven which lies in between the legs of a 3 year old girl?

15. Where did we go wrong or are we losing our minds?

ajas baba: AND pls is snoring a diseases.


just answer that first and i will tell you what i think.

I'd say snoring is a defect and not a disease; it is a disorder.

For some, snoring is like a second name, while it may not be their fault for this; they (snorers) hardly know they do so and most of them tend to argue they didn't snore all through the night, leaving their victims, oh sorry, those who sleep close to them to suffer (listen) the unrehearsed orchestra over the night.

Since love can conquer all things, can love cause you to marry someone who snores?

For those who missed the gist yesterday, here is a lowdown of the round of 16 draw:


1. CHELSEA vs GALATASARY (Drogba would hope to make a massive comeback against his former manager and club)

2. BARCELONA vs MAN CITY (this is definitely one match nobody would love to miss. Yaya Toure gets to come back to the Camp Nou)

3. ARSENAL vs BAYERN MUNICH (Probably the most tricky fixture. Almost everyone is saying Arsenal is already out of the competition for being drawn against the title defenders)

4. SHALKE 04 vs REAL MADRID (my own way of saying a walk over for the Spanish Giants)

5. MAN UNITED vs OLYMPIAKOS (Quite a fair draw for Man United but I still believe it's a tricky draw, considering Man U's shaky form)

6. PSG vs BAYER LEVERKUSEN (Ibrahimovic and his side would need a massive display against the German side. It is an even match up)

7. AC MILAN vs ATHLETICO MADRID (I'd rather keep mute on this)

8. DORTMUND vs ZENIT (I guess the Germans have what seems to be the easiest opponent in the round of 16 stage)

What do you think?

On sunday, CR 7 made a mark in his hometown, Madeira, when he opened his much announced cum awaited museum, which includes all his accolades, trophies such as golden boots, pichichis among others and pictures of his glory days. According to him, it is a way of giving back to his hometown and helping the small town generate funds. Funniest of all, there is another Ronaldo in the museum; a Ronaldo made from wax!

I came across this beautiful piece via a picture message and I felt like sharing this with everyone:



1. Listen without interrupting (Prov 18).
2. Speak without accusing (James 1:19)
3. Give without sparing (Prov 21:26)
4. Pray without ceasing (Col 1:9)
5. Answer without arguing (Prov 17:1)
6. Share without pretending (Eph 4:15)
7. Enjoy without complaint (Philpns 2:14)
8. Trust without wavering (I Cor 13:7)
9. Forgive without punishing (Col 3:13)
10. Promise without forgetting (Prov 13:12).

I was chatting with a friend sometimes ago. We just started the chat on that faithful day when she asked 'How are you?'. I could remember responding with 'I'm fine, I bless God'. She immediately replied with 'Can we really bless the Lord?'.

The lady in question is of the Catholic faith and her question echoed in my mind for a long while. While I have my reservations, I'd like to ask others, 'Can we really BLESS the Lord?'

I'll ask him to let the job go; afterall, having one's life is better than losing it all for the sake of a job with no security. The Western world might ask their authorities to swing into action in putting an end to incessant threats. Should he lose his life, Etisalat may only compensate his family then life goes on, another person ends up filling the void. No job is worth dying for, not in this part of the continent, and not in this part of world.

[quote author=Lil'knight]Celestial is an heavenly created church, d word itself means heavenly!!!
Jst lyk oda churches, celestial is nt created by an individual or any human, it spiritually descended to earth and since den it has been spreading worldwide. What makes pple criticize d church is ntn buh simply because of d doctrine, and dis isn't right cos d lyks of oda churches lyk catholic, anglican do av....comment reserved[/quote]Abegi jare, the church itself has been bastardized, abused and reformed by wolves with chameleon clothing. *I won't say anything further* ONE QUESTION ABEG: Can anyone cite a passage in the scriptures where a deliverance session was performed using a cane or weapon so as to chase the 'baddo' in a man?

psalmdave: Wats your advice for teeth.....wen brushing with close up and sensodyne hasnt helped

For the teeth, I'l suggest you take a very hot pepper soup before brushing; keep it in the mouth for 5-7 mins, do not swallow. Then spit out after 5-7 mins and use acid and iron sponge to scrub the teeth. It works like magic. Don't thank me, it's the least I could do for a brother.

psalmdave: Wats your advice for teeth.....wen brushing with close up and sensodyne hasnt helped

For the teeth, I'l suggest you take a very hot pepper soup before brushing; keep it in the mouth for 5-7 mins, do not swallow. Then spit out after 5-7 mins and use acid and iron sponge to scrub the teeth. It works like magic. Don't thank me, it's the least I could do for a brother.

fijiano202: guy sometimes it may taste and smells like a fish but may end-up been a snake ooo,no Give bad advice oo

who told you snake tastes like fish? Truth be told, it tastes like chicken, mehn! Don't give bad advice to someone who wants to give a bad advice. Gbam!