Zeinymira:
Two weeks on,
Taofeeqah
Ramadan is finally here and I am no longer feeling melancholy about it, although I would say I am nervous because its been years I fasted. Also, it's the month of blessings and I am anxious to have all the reward therein. I want this Ramadan to be the turning point of my life, its been years I prayed for anything at all and I heard this month had one special night of Destiny that comes with abundance blessings. So I want it all!
My parents are not left out in the fervor of Ramadan. They planned every activities they intend to engage in from Day one till the last day of Ramadan. My mom volunteered to be part of the cooking committee at the central mosque, she's a retiree caterer who once owned a mini restaurant before she sold it and decided to stay at home as a senior citizen who needed to reduce stress. I learnt for the past five years, mom has been writing book about her life's journey (I wondered what could be so interesting in her life anyway) and together with dad they invested their retirement money in real estate and large scale farming.
There's still friction between me and my parents, there has always been friction anyway and I guess it will be that way forever. Because I do not know them and I can say its vice versa. Who they were when I was a child is completely different from who they are now. Strange then, strangier now.
With all their plans that excluded me and made me realize that Dad planned to move into the mosque till the end of the blessed month, which means I will be all alone by myself because wherever my dad goes my mom goes too and i am not excted about the prospect of being left alone. I would have tag along with mom's cooking committee but I dread that mosque. I don't desire to be in the same breathing space with Kawthar and whoever that must have heard the rumor about our fight and my ugly past. But I intend to have the best Ramadan, so I set out to look for Musa maybe he can help a newbie like me have the best of this holy month. It was long after morning prayer when I got to the mosque. I knew it would be scanty and I can make do with lesser people.
"As salaam alaykum" I greeted from the female side
"Wa alaykum salaam" he answered
"It's me Taofeeqah, I want to talk to you"
A minute silence. Then came the loud chuckle which I rolled my eyes at because nothing was funny then he said
"the fighter"
"Really?" I said rolling my eyes again
"the runaway hajia" he said
"OK, enough with the name-calling. Can we talk?" I asked
"I'm all ears" was his reply
But then I am still at the female side with this big board barrier between us. I have never had a communication with someone we are not staring at each other's faces. This is so strange! I wondered if it's another Islamic principle.
"You're not saying anything?" he ask
"I don't know. I'm not comfortable talking with this big barrier between us. I have never communicated that way before. Would we go to hell fire if we talk face to face?"
And then he started laughing like mad. The laughter was wide and loud like that of a crowd. But I was certain he was alone, maybe not.
"I guess not. Come to the male side please" he said
I got to the male side I saw him sitting on a plastic chair behind a plastic table with two other brothers at his side. I groaned in embarrassment because they laughed at me. After exchanging greetings with them, Musa ask me if I am comfortable talking in their presence, before I could reply the brothers moved to the farther end of the mosque.
"How have you been?" he asks
"Alhamdulillah. How about you?"
"Fine, thanks to Allah"
"Ramadan is starting next tomorrow, I don't know anything about it except fasting. I am certain it is more than that. I will like you to tell me what I can do to earn rewards and have the best Ramadan" I said
"Ramadan involves you fasting from dawn to sunset, staying away from fighting, backbiting, lying, using bad languages and every bad qualities. Do your best to get rid of bad intentions and avoid sinning. Do plenty sadaaqah(charity) discretely of course, read the holy Qur'an, pray each solaat at the right time, do dhikr(remembrance of Allah), perform tahjjud and you will be rewarded bountifully in shaa Allah. All these good deeds will boost your spiritual life and help you to adopt good habits. Remember, ask forgiveness and all the goodness you desire in this life and thereafter. I hope I am not boring you?" he asks
"Of course not. I think I can do all these except the reading of Qur'an. I don't know how to" I says
"You can read the English version. After Ramadan inshaa Allah we will fix it. Any more questions?"
"No, thank you very much"
"You're welcome ukhti" he said smiling at me".

Zeinymira:
Taofeeqah




It's been 2 weeks I talked to my Aunt Tola and followed her advice. It wasn't easy finding my energy back, getting over my obsessional thoughts of Neemah and my ex, doing daily things like bathing, eating, brushing my teeth, finding and holding on to a purpose. Yeah, doing tasbih helped(at least I sleep peacefully for hours while doing it), but I took it a step further by performing ablution and praying solat five times daily, reciting the names of Allah and I try to memorize the Quranic verses which is very difficult for me because while growing up I never learned to recite the Qur'an. I only knew short surahs like Fathia, Ikhlas, and Al-Kawthar offhand and its boring repeating them every solah. When I'm not obsessing over the prepared speech I planned to say to my ex and Neemah whenever our path cross which could be 5 years, 10 years or maybe in hell, whenever I see them I will ask;
"Why were you so selfish?"

"When did you stop caring about my feelings?"

"When did you stop respecting me?"

Truth is, I think I will never get them off my mind, so I have accepted to live with it. If time truly heals all wound, maybe mine too would heal. Yeah, I was saying when I'm not obsessing over my ex and Neemah, I always listen to the adhan of a close by mosque.

The reciter voice is so beautiful that I found myself repeating the adhan after him. And once I'm done with solat, I mimick him smiling to myself in bed, sometimes while eating or doing anything. Listening to him became an obsession so much so that I went to the mosque one evening to see who the reciter was.

I got to the mosque, it was almost time for Maghreb, I entered the female side, performed ablution before I went to the male side watching out for the reciter. Was it an old man? What would he look like? His voice was full of life, filled with love for his creator, would he be a young man. What if he's just a boy? This thoughts were chasing themselves in my mind.

Then I saw him. He wore a black jalamiah with a leather slippers. He was tall, broad chested, chocolate. He was so fine. I couldn't see his face clearly but his physique was so beautiful and I watched openmouthed, drooling. I didn't know I spoke out loud my thought "He's so cute".

And I heard the laughter right behind me. The sound was so familiar I didn't want to believe it was the she devil I knew way back in secondary school. The one I thought was a friend. The one who spread rumors about me.

I turned around and it was Kawthar with that annoying smirk. If you think time change cruel people, then you thought wrong. Fine, time had added to her beauty but she is still one insensitive stupid cruel fool.
" Hello" I hear her say

I ignore her and continuing walking towards the female side. But she wouldn't let me, I hear her footsteps behind me.

"What do you want?" I ask

"From you? I saw you as I was about to enter the mosque. I wanted to see if it was really you in a mosque. It's shocking considering I know your history, you don't let a man be. You're always over them, that was why you got expelled. And to think you are about to start that with the Amir, really? Time hasn't change you. I have to warn the ladies about you" then she begins to laugh hysterically.

That. Is. It.

With my old instinct kicking in, I raise my hand and smack her twice on her face. The sound echoes throughout the mosque. The Amir turn and people came out of the ablution center towards us. She grabs her face while staring at me in complete silence.

I watch her steps towards me "You slut! How dare you! You....." she begins, and I raise my hand again for round three.

That's when the Amir stands between us and the other people grab me. I fight against their hold to get her because I really want to claw her eyes out. While trying to maneuver my restless body out of their hold, an elderly woman drags her towards the ablution center.

My anger climbs to a 100° recognizing the faces of the people holding me. Three out of them were my secondary school mates who knew my story.

"Are you OK?" The Amir asks

I nodded.

"Can we talk about this after we are done praying?" An elderly man said

I nodded again.

We all went back to the mosque, someone advise me to perform ablution again which I did. Slowly, I could feel the anger ebbed away. I did all my best to focus on the prayer. I slipped many times replaying the scenes in my mind but eventually I focused.

Afterwards, I felt stupid and awkward with the glances thrown at me. I wondered what my explanation would be. This is so messed up. I'm embarrassed to say the least. I thought about leaving the mosque and heading home but that will be so disrespectful, it will only confirm whatever they are thinking about me. I was still in thought when one of the sisters informed me that Imam Hussein is waiting for me outside. I got there, I saw the elderly man (I presumed him to be the Imam Hussein), the Amir, another sister and Kawthar who was crying like a newborn.

"As salaam alaykum sister" the Amir says

"Wa alaykum salaam" I answer

"Kawthar hasn't said much about whatever happened. But whatever it is please forgive each other. Bottling things up inside is very unhealthy for you psychologically and spiritually. Islam teaches us about forgiveness and it is a good quality we should hold onto. And fighting in the mosque isn't nice. Its bad. This is the house of Allah, please respect it and do not do it again" the Imam Hussein pleaded

I was about to apologize when a man came shouting at me "What gave you the right to slap my wife!"

This is so messed up.

Kawthar cried louder seeing her hero.

"Brother Jamaldeen, we are trying to settle this amicably. Please calm down" the Amir pleaded

"Who's she by the way? How can you come here and slap my own wife?"

"We heard your wife call her a slut" the silent sister said.

This is so messed up.

Kawthar does what she does best and chimes in "I'm really sorry I said that. I happened to know her and her reputation back in secondary school and so I caught her ogling and saying dirty words about how the Amir looks. That was during the adhan, can you imagine"

Because earning a death sentence for strangling the idiot is not an option, I pray a bomb goes off in this specific mosque killing us all.

I just turn around sucking in air into my empty lungs. I am not looking forward to a breakdown in front of this people. Especially not in the presence of Kawthar. But with my luck lately, it seems inevitable so I kept on moving.

"Are you fine?" The Amr asks

"Yes" I say while speed-walking towards home.

We reach the T-junction and I stop. I feel its best to have it out here rather than at home with me enduring my parents disapproval looks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks

I'm not sure what there is to talk about. Somehow it all pours out anyway.

"Kawthar spilled my beans anyway. Girl was young and abused in school but no one believed her. The story was turned against her. Girl reputation was ruined, she got expelled because she was always fighting her mean colleagues. Now, girl met the one person that started the rumour about her in school and she threatened to do that again. Girl was mad and slapped her. Did you get all of that?"

He is quiet for a moment and then he says "I'm sorry"

"Uh, please I do not need the sympathy. It was a long time ago" but the tears streaming down my face says otherwise.

"It's OK. Stop crying. It's just life trials. Trust me, this things only happens here on Earth" he says

"Thank you"

Probably feeling the awkwardness in the air, he changes the subject.

"My name is Musa Adefemi. People here call me the Amir" he says

"I thought Amir is your name" I say smiling

"It's not. Amir means a leader" he says grinning

"I actually came to the mosque to see the man who calls the adhan. Also, to ask for assistance with reading the Qur'an"

"Why do you want to see the man who cals for prayer?" Musa asks

"I was just curious, his voice is beautiful and it has a calming effects on me. I saw you and I said you are cute, that is the dirty thing Kawthar said I said about you".

At this point he is laughing like crazy.

I wondered what was funny.

"I think your first lesson in Islam will be to learn to lower your gaze. It's not wrong to admire the quality that another human possess but you have to becareful of envy and lust. Admiring a quality an opposite sex possess is good but you have to be cautious. Just say Ma sha Allah when you hear me call for prayer. Concerning learning Qur'an recitation, we do that in the masjid after asr except on Frifays. You're welcome to join. Please do not stay away from the masjid. I will talk to brother Jamaldeen and his wife.
As salaam alaykum"

"Wa alaykum salaam. Thank you very much" I give him the goodbye head nod and turn to trek to my house.

I'm totally fine, I'm a big girl. No sadness in my heart, I can handle this. So I don't understand why I got into my room crying like a five year old who lost her toy.

KevUnique:
Ina Son wannan Story. You did well dear. Keep improving and growing. You are goot to go. #Welovestories #novels #literature