₦airaland Forum

Toyatc:
Wow! Congratulations sir and to God be all the glory.

I have been following this thread for years now (can't remember how many years now). The thread has stirred different kinds of emotion within me all along and i have also learnt a lot, but i never commented. I guess this good news of your marriage is the climax of it (for now.....lol) for me and so i had to break forth into joyous mood for you guys.

God bless you sir...........oh, He already blessed you nah . I'm so overjoyed here. E be like say i happy pass you sef........

Congratulations again and again and again.

Thanks everyone. I'm honored and deeply touched by all the encouragement and prayers.

Sorry all for the silence. A lot was going on. However, I'm pleased to inform everyone that Olori and I got married today August 11 2016. It's been a very long journey for both of us and also since this thread began. Just like all good stories, they finally come to an end and this is the end of one story and the beginning of another.

Heartfelt appreciation to those that made this thread so wonderful. It was a special project that still endures. From Olori and I.............. God bless you all!!!!!!

joyAA:
@Mr Seru...he does factor me in, he listens to my advice and yes, I believe in him.
I believe this is the reason for courtship, so we can make each other better, I'm still watching for improvements tho he's trying...

That's the reason for being together. As long as both of you believe in each other, your relationship can only grow stronger. Nobody said relationships/marriage is easy. It's garbage in, garbage out. The harder you work and sacrifice for it, the more you get out of it (with the right person of course). The Lord will grant you wisdom and His favor. Best of luck.

@tearoses

I dey Kampe. Thanks for the thoughts for your brother, I pray all is well with you and yours.

@ayoolagoke & subomioluwa.

How are you guys doing? I know you're struggling with a lot of emotions that can be overpowering and overwhelming. It's like that. I wish I could tell you that there is a quick fix or remedy that makes the pain go away. However, there isn't. But it does get easier. Trust me, it does.....with time. And it all depends on you! Only you determine when you continue with life and embark on your journey of healing. For some, it's a very long journey. For some, it's short. Too many factors determine that. The most important thing is what happens next. It took me 11 years to finally be on the path to begin a new journey with someone new. Sometimes, you feel like you're betraying your true love by even thinking of another person. Don't feel that way. That chapter of your lives is officially closed now. It's painful to accept, but that's the hard truth. There is someone out there that God has ordained to wipe the tears from your eyes and make you feel alive again. How soon it happens is up to you. Take your time and be prayerful. This terrible time in your lives shall pass. For me, it's Olori. Yours shall come. Grieve and move on.

If you need to contact me, write me @ tropicalincognito@yahoo.com. A lot of people have tried to get in touch with me.....you can contact me on that email also. Remain blessed.

salsera:
I think I need a drink now.

Serubawon I thought NL tsunami carry you go.

Good to hear from you and the family.

My sister, for where? Na responsibilities and life in general o. Hope your family is fine. Thanks for the concern for your brother.

@joyAA. Read your story and have a few questions. Does he factor you into the equation when he takes these decisions? Does he listen to your advice and finally......do you believe in him? If he's making these decisions unilaterally without any consideration for how it affects you as a person and his mate, then you have some serious thinking to do with yourself and some serious talking to do with him. No matter what financial decision I take, I run it by Olori because I'm not perfect and she offers perspectives that I sometimes overlook. Obviously, you think the world of him, but that doesn't ensure the survival of your relationship if both of you are not on the same page when it comes to making (not just financial decisions), but all decisions.

Hope it works out.

sello555:
@serubawon@RTFM@subomioluwa,hope u guys are good,bin a while. I trust God is at work.

.

Yes, it's been quite a while. New job description at work; studying for exams and juggling family life has really taken up my time. Presently, I have my former in-laws and future in-laws in town for the summer and that alone is really driving me nuts. Updates are on their way as soon as I have time to make them. Things are good. Oloris daughter's recovery has been gradual, but there is still a long way to go. Having brain surgery means things are not the same as they used to be and she is going through therapy and rehab. We put things on hold because of that and want her to be more stable before we go ahead with our plans. Hope everyone is doing well. @RTFM & subomioluwa, drop by and let us know how things are with both of you. I'm sure people are concerned and want to know how you are faring. With God, Nothing Shall Be Impossible.

@RTFM, SubomiOluwa.

Just checking in on you guys to see how you're doing. Holler back at us and let us know you're ok.

greatgod2012:
To all others that are also bereaved, may God continue to comfort you. It's not easy i know, it's over a year that my brother lost his wife, the kids have been with me since then, but my brother still weep almost everyday, not easy to be consoled at all, even though the kids barely knows what is happening. Honestly, it's not easy, may God continue to comfort them.
I don't want to question God, but i really don't know why this death issue is not only about old people, it's heart wrenching to see one's loved ones, still young with good and lovely dreams just vanish into the hand of death just like that. May God please forgive me for this, i'm just human afterall, thinking aloud.

That's just the way life is. The good with the bad. But just the way we thank God when good things happen, we should also be thankful when bad things happen......especially when we see no reason to be thankful. There's always a reason to thank God. Nobody wishes for bad things, but they will happen at one time or another. The story of Job is very encouraging to me. He lost EVERYTHING, but God restored him beyond what he had initially. It's difficult to understand or even accept, but in my opinion, it makes passing through tribulations a lot more bearable.

kenny987:
Hmmm! I'm at a loss for words, I'm even more marvelled at the faith and 'die-hard' trust in God depicted on this thread while going through harrowing experiences. May the Lord Himself strengthen u all who have lost beloved partners n parents. He has promised to be with us till the end of time, never said there'd be no fire bt that He'll be with us in that fire so that we're not consumed.
I've learned great lessons here...

God bless you all who mourn and are still mourning,, thanks for sharing your lives, experiences n pains. God bless your beautiful kids n comfort u all.

I am encouraged, after having started reading this entire thread from 5'30am till now(1.36pm), and I know that God has plans for me...I now know I can heal and be stronger cos though I'm nt married, I've felt d 'pain' of love...2ice I've loved deeply and had it thrown back in my face...I've shed bitter tears but like d proverbial Phoenix, I choose to rise out of the ashes and be alive cos if nothing else, I've learned that love is worth it all....I will love again and be loved right back! God knows I hurt but because of His mercy n love, I am whole...

I can see by your story that you are passing through a painful experience. The Yoruba people have a saying "Only the person wearing the shoe, knows where it pinches". By experience, i have learned that when you share an experience, your audience shares your pain and lessens the burden on your heart. Sharing can also be a painful experience, but it is also the beginning of the healing process. I'm sure the thread would like to hear your story if you are willing to share. Take your time.

Make I go find Analytical jare.

oluite:
@Uncle Seru
Please Don't mind the devil,its what I call last minute gragra.He so hates happy ending but its a happy beginning already. Olori's daughter will get stronger and then the wedding.
Where is Mr analytical? He has a good and deep way with words.
Stay blessed everyone.

My sister, we all know that the bigger the trial, the greater the testimony. The Devil likes to shakara, but God has the final say. Thanks and God bless you.

hadidej:
@Serubawon.... I actually saw this link today. Read the 1st to 4th or so pages den went to the last. Was curious abt u actually. Im not a widow. Actually in a happy marriage. The devil is a liar. And I pray for strenght for pple dat ve lost dere spouses. Im happy u fine. I lost my daddy in 2005 and foryears I couldnt even enter a Church without crying. He was 1 in a milkion. Sad u lost someone u loved so much. Have u remarried? How are your lovely kids?

Thanks for the encouragement. It's almost unbelievable, but this December will be the 10th year anniversary of my late wife's demise and I still look at this thread and can't believe how time has passed. I'm not married yet, but will be soon IJN. My kids are doing great. My daughter just joined the ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corp) of the US Airforce and I'm truly grateful to my father in heaven for His favor and mercies on my kids and I. A few years ago, I would never have envisaged myself being positive about anything. However, here I am encouraging others and it's all by God's grace. My girl (a teen now), wants to be a gynaecologist and my son wants to be a pilot and they kind of have their lives mapped out. I pray God favors them and shows mercy.

To those that are bereaved, it is only for a season. However, the decisions you make now will determine how the rest of your lives will be. That's why I want you to depend on Him that will never betray or turn His back on you and yours. I'm giving thanks today and so will you. Just give it time.

@SubomiOluwa.

I was in church all day and didn't have time to check my mails. I got in and saw your contribution and it is truly heart wrenching. First of all, accept my deepest condolences. I've said this many times: you can be comforted by a million people, but it doesn't comfort you in the least. Only God almighty can do that and He will. I'm a living testimony to that truth....even though it seems like an impossible dream right now.

I would implore you to continue to visit this forum as much as you can. Pouring out the contents of your grieving heart does heal gradually. It takes time and it takes a lot of patience.

One very important thing you have to realize right now is that your 3 children need you even more than ever right now and your catering to their every need will form part of your healing process and making you a wonderful dad to them. You mentioned something very important.... You give God the thanks even in your pain and trust me when I say that God knows that and He is also moving on your behalf. He will never leave you nor forsake you and He will be with you right there in the storm.

I am with you in prayers and the day will come when you will look back on this period in your life and be truly thankful. It might sound like I'm rambling on, but that day will come. When my late wife passed on, my daughter was only 4 and my son was 2. They don't remember her and that is a blessing on its own. All they know is me and my family have been very supportive. Now, my daughter is 14 and my son is 12 and that terrible day is only like a bad nightmare to me. I still cherish her memories, but for the sake of my children and my sanity, i had to move on. It took me awhile to do that, but the Lord saw me though. He will see you through in Jesus' name. My sincere regards to your kids. Hold them tight and never let them out of your sight. They will bring you joy and happiness for the rest of your life. Be strong.

RTFM: Apologies sir, I missed that. I am in Switzerland. Thanks for the offer of a chat. That you would make the offer in the light of all you are going through is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. I have spent the last few weeks talking about her to her family and friends, for now, at least for a short while, I want to just remember her, in happiness and joy and perhaps keep some of those memories to myself. I know it does not make sense but I don’t feel as if I want to talk to anyone just yet.
Allow me to explain, since I got back from Germany, I have spent my evenings after work reading the letters we wrote to each other when we were courting. It will take me a good couple of weeks to go through them. It is my special time, a private time, I switch off the phones have a small glass of brandy and remember her with love and gratitude to God for what I had.
I will definitely get in touch soon. I have so many questions for you.
Thank you so much, God bless you.

I fully understand. As I said, take as much time as you want. I just want you to know that if and when that time comes, I'm available. Take it one day at a time. The Lord will definitely see you through.

@RTFM STILL WAITING ON YOUR REPLY SIR. PLEASE TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED.

Joy4mi: Also help me bless the living God who has continually be with me and my hubby. Manifesting himself in our ministry,home in everything we have. For restoring our lost glory n for where he is taking us too.

Remember I told everyone about the land someone bought for us, well we have completed the building of our house,the church of God is moving forward and God blessed my home with a beautiful baby girl(Jolayemi). Haallleluyahhh
This year is my year of restoration.

Tanx for everything, may the source of your joy never run dry.

Sorry for the long post.

This is wonderful news. No. the post is not long, but extremely encouraging. Thank you so much for sharing. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. May the Lord grant her long life, His mercies and everlasting favor. I'm so happy for you and I bless God for His mercies in your life. Thank you once again.

RTFM: Thank you salsera and serubawon. It's still hard, it's still a struggle but I get up everyday and try to soldier on. One day at a time...

If it's ok with you, I would be happy to receive your number and give you a call. Talking also helps a lot. However, that is completely up to you and if you feel otherwise, I would completely understand. What country are you in by the way?

salsera: I was just about to ask how you were doing RTFM?

It will get better...let yourself grieve

You are always welcome to write here

@serubawon
Greetings

My sista from anoda moda. How na? Hope things are pretty good. I'm here continuously thanking the almighty Father o.

RTFM: I took a couple of weeks off to visit my wife's grave and also visit with her family and friends in Germany.
It was a bittersweet experience. In the course of our marriage, we had been there together several times and to see the same sites, walk the same routes all on my own, was almost too much to bear.
It has been therapeutic to talk and share with her friends and family, as we reminisced we laughed and cried and were thankful. She brought us all together, Europeans and myself from Africa. It was good to see my wife through the eyes of others and I am so thankful for that.
I still miss her so much but the overwhelming aching pain in my heart is slowly being replaced with a measure of gratitude for the time we had together and the love we shared. I came so close to packing it all in. Life had lost all meaning and I failed to see the point of my existence.
Its better now but I am not yet where I need to be. For the last 17 years, I lived for her and worked to build a better life for us both as she did for me. All I know is how to be husband as we were together for the greater part of my adult life. Without someone to share things with, life has been without colour, taste or flavour. I have been trying to pick up the pieces but it is so difficult. At the moment all I can concentrate on is work. I have let everything else slide. I have important documents and administrative tasks related to her demise to complete but just can't bring myself to do them. Maybe it makes things less real and less final. I don't know. It is my hope that by writing my thoughts here. I will be able to find it inside me to cross this hurdle. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity. To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm looking for or what I want. This post is rather narcissistic and I apologize for that. I think I better stop now.

Allow yourself to grieve. It's a truly painful process, but you need to pass through it. Your psyche gradually adapts and accepts your present circumstances and then prepares you to gradually move on. Don't rush anything. One day at a time. Feel free to put your thoughts down when the need arises, it helps. The Lord will see you through.

Oh boy, you people crack me up!

lamdec: I have been a veryyyyyyy longgggggg silent follower of this thread
@uncle serubawon,@RTFM and @opeolukoya, I don't know if you guys are christains but I have this scripture of the bible for you 2cor chap 1 vs 3-4
Blessed be God, even the father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the father of mercies and the God of all comfort.
Who comfort us in all our tribulations,that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble,by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God.


That's all my prayer for you,that God almighty himself will be your comfort, I am deeply sorry for all you are going through.

Thank you. That's very deep and I truly understand the meaning of every word.

ihedinobi2: May Grace be multiplied to you, sir. May you find the Wisdom and strength to bring joy out of pain in your trials.

Amen!!!!

sello555: @serubawon,welcome,missed your posts,God will perfect your daughter's healing and will once more bring laughter to you and your family,tell olori to be strong!

Thank you. I sincerely appreciate it.

hbpeze: r u remarried

Not yet. But soon.

naijababe: Howdy roomies, how y'all doing? Saw all your shout-out and mentions but was not in the right frame of mind. I am finally feeling up to posting. Lost my mum exactly a week today, had no idea I could ever feel anything that painful, 5hit hurts like hell but I'm finally coming to terms it.

Accept my heartfelt condolences. That's a very painful experience. I pray the Lord will give you the grace and strength to forge ahead.

ihedinobi2: So very true. Thank you for this thread, sir.

We thank God for His grace on this thread. If not for His grace, the thread would have died off a long time ago.

Hmmmm. Compliments to the room. Madam CC. Been a while? Hows Life?

RTFM: Thank you MARKone, bellong and Caracta.
It really is difficult to find solace or comfort.
It has been seven weeks now and the pain is still intense.
Unfortunately, we moved from the UK to Switzerland three years ago and I have no family or close friends around.
I had family members come over to attend my wife's burial in Germany where she was born but of course, for them life goes on.
Be strong and move on ? That may be too soon. I feel numb and empty and life has lost it's meaning.
Trying to express myself here helps.
I appreciate your kind words.

RTFM, you wrote that's it's just been several weeks since it happened and I wish to my heart that I could tell you that the pain just disappears. Unfortunately, it doesn't. It will take time. How long? I have no idea. There will be days that seem like nothing could cheer you up. Those days will pass. When you do experience them, I hope you will remember my words and know that it won't last long.

Another important thing (and I learned a lot from what friends on this thread told me), you will have to move on (and that will happen when the time is right). Sometimes, in moving on, you will feel that you're betraying her and her memory and that is only normal. I felt the same way (for a looooong time too). Allow yourself to mourn and grieve, but don't let it eat you up. I can't say too much because it's way too early for you.

Most importantly, let God heal you. In all my pain then, I never stopped thanking God for her life (especially when I didn't feel like thanking Him). He understands you more than you know yourself and if you let Him, He will guide you through this process. Please don't bottle up your pain. It's like poison that eats you from the inside out. You will survive this and even though it sounds crazy, you will be grateful for a lot of things in the future. Stay strong.

Hmmmmmm. Tgirl, where you dey sef? I need to get in touch with all my peeps.

olu4life: How did I even stumble on dis thread?! Spent 2hrs reading from page 1 to 34. Damn... Mr Seru,God b wit u and ur family. God will surely perfect d healing of ur step daughter. All da best bro. One love

Thank you bro. It's prayers like yours that have sustained me since I started this thread. Now, it's time to pass it on to others that need it even more.