₦airaland Forum

muffins99: -When I was 7, I stayed at a relative's place for the summer holiday. They used to rent 'blue films' and I thought blue film meant the screen was blue instead of black and white. I was always sent to the room but would open the door and peek with one eye...and then thought my relatives knew that I was peeking and decided to change the screen to B&W just to spite me!!!


I've told only half of the story....when school resumed, we had to write an essay which was 'a letter to your penpal' telling him/her what you did during the holidays...yeah, you're right! I wrote that I'd watched blue movie!!!! and all hell broke loose. See me see trouble o. My teacher (understandably) made such a big deal out of it but at that time I didn't understand why. My mum would have heard of it if not for my sister who told a lie to cover up for me o...till today, I'm very careful what I brag about!

muffins99: -When I was 7, I stayed at a relative's place for the summer holiday. They used to rent 'blue films' and I thought blue film meant the screen was blue instead of black and white. I was always sent to the room but would open the door and peek with one eye...and then thought my relatives knew that I was peeking and decided to change the screen to B&W just to spite me!!!


I've told only half of the story....when school resumed, we had to write an essay which was 'a letter to your penpal' telling him/her what you did during the holidays...yeah, you're right! I wrote that I'd watched blue movie!!!! and all hell broke loose. See me see trouble o. My teacher (understandably) made such a big deal out of it but at that time I didn't understand why. My mum would have heard of it if not for my sister who told a lie to cover up for me o...till today, I'm very careful what I brag about!

lol! your school must obviously be a very good school 'cause most of these 'jakande' public schools wouldn't have made so much fuss out of it.

muffins99: No yab me o, please.

-When I was 7, I stayed at a relative's place for the summer holiday. They used to rent 'blue films' and I thought blue film meant the screen was blue instead of black and white. I was always sent to the room but would open the door and peek with one eye...and then thought my relatives knew that I was peeking and decided to change the screen to B&W just to spite me!!!

-My mum had loads of recipie books (cakes, continental, oriental, etc). My sisters and I thought that if our mum was happy with us at that time and if we licked the food we wanted to eat, we would taste it...I never admitted to my sisters that i couldn't taste anything!

-I used to think that whenever birds flew past and I sang a particular song, my nails will turn white...they never did and I always got so vexed.

-I used to think that if you stuck out your hand into the rain, your hand will shrivel up and fall off!! Of course now I know its for health reasons i.e. so that I don't catch a chill/cold.

-I used to think that anyone who sat on top of mortar will grow a big belly...Obviously this was just for hygiene or health reasons.

-I thought if you swallowed chewing gum your stomach will stick together and you will die from agonising pains and hunger

-I used to think ekana Gowon (Gowon's nails) was actually really his nails and I wondered (1) why they were so dark, big and conical in shape (2) why his nails were so sweet, and (3) why there was so much of it and it was always on available to buy

Most of the 'myths' we knew as kids were to instill ethics, and for health and safety reasons (don't catch cold, get pregnant, etc). Obviously, the older generation thought the best way to get kids to obey is to frighten them. However, some of them were just plain silly and were usually the result of childish conjecture by the younger ones.

now, you are the definition of funny!

i heard and believed that Pele while playing in a match he came for in Nigeria, took a shot which hit the bar post and he asked the stadium authorities to measure the goalpost, saying it wasn't the normal size and when they measured it, they realised it wasn't the normal size

There was another fable about Thunder Balogun - that he had a bet with Gordon Banks to score five goals with him (Banks) between the goal post. Gordon Banks caught four of Thunder's penalty kicks and just as Thunder Balogun was running to take the last kick, his wife suddenly shouted "Thunder don't forget your left!" and he changed and used his left leg to take the kick instead of his right (The left leg according to the fable had been "bought" so he was not allowed to use it)and just as Gordon Banks caught the ball, the ball went through him and came out on the other side and broke the net

There was another fable about Pele - Pele wanted to take a penalty kick with Gordon Banks in goal, and because banks was so good, he bent down and untied the lace of one of his boots, and then pretended as if he wanted to take a kick. His left book flew off and the goalkeeper went after the boot thinking the ball had been played. He then used his other leg to kick the ball which sailed into the net - the goalkeeper bought the dummy he sold!

whoever created this fabulous tales deserve to be caned

i remember when i was in secondary school, there was a football match that ended in penanlty shoot-out, one of the penalty takers from my team took a penalty kick with hit the upright bar of the goal-post before going in. I asked him if the kick was deliberate and he said it was and even claimed he had taken several penalty kicks like that (kicks that hit the upright bar before going in). I believed him until many many years later when i realised the 'agbaya' lied to me

PortHarcourtBoy: Omo! Those primary school days, each morning I wan leave house for school, I go turn look the dog and fowl, then for my mind I go say: "Kai, una lucky oh, una no dey go school, me every morning dem go wake me from sleep make I come baf go school"...lol

this is sooo funny!

i used to think babies came from the anus
i wondered why the government cannot print so much money so that everybody would be rich

i used to think the moon was following me when i'm walking at night
i used to wonder why everybody is not moving since we were told in geography that the world is rotating - i wondered how the world can be rotating and those in it are not

my dad's friend had a white wife called joyce, so whenever i saw any white person, i called them (he/she) them joyce i thought every white person is called joyce

i wondered what spoke in the speakers

i wouldn't. Will you? kindly discuss

is it me or is tuface on the backup of the song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_z9c98rEro

@gepheral, if you want your song on the front page, it might be a good idea to send a private email to seun and the music section moderators though many of them are not reasonable but it's worth the try - that apart, i still await your instrumental

when Al Gore completed 8 yrs as Bill Clinton's vice president, he contested the election to replace Bill Clinton and if he had won or rather if the election hadn't been rigged, he would have been US president. Same goes for GEJ. The time he spent as acting president and as Yar'Adua's successor does not count because he wasn't voted for. His tenure started from May 2011

salaksmana: It's not photoshopped, I saw d poster at a town between Ogbomoso @ Ilorin, I was still looking out of the car to be sure of what I'm seeing.

you are a liar! like i stated earlier, this trash should not have made the front page. The site is gradually declining in standard. A simple check online would have revealed that the picture was photoshopped. This the real picture here bearing Abija on the poster and not Obama - and the film is not recent as claimed by the poster. It was released in 2007 !

trash!

it's amazing what kind of trash makes it to the front page nowadays - and who are the morons who are supposed to be the moderators? This so-called poster is not a Nollywood film! it's a photoshopped image which has been circulating on facebook for the past three months. How it suddenly made it on to NL frontpage now, beats my imagination

na wah!

mr gepheral, i enjoyed your music and i asked for an instrumental but you ignored my request - okay oh! it is well

Mr. Akpors' daughter asked her dad:

daughter: Dad there is something my boyfriend said to me that I don't understand"

"What was that?" asked Mr. Akpors.

"He said that I have a beautiful
chassis, two lovely airbags & a fantastic bumper"
...
Mr Akpors replies,
"U tell ur boyfriend that if he opens ur bonnet & pulls out his dipstick to check the oil, I will give him such a service that his engine will knock and his exhaust will fall off".

na real wa!

gepheral, pls can i get the INSTRUMENTAL version of your song ?

FACTS ABOUT THE VIDEO: Just so that you know, the video was produced Produced by Dara McClatchie, Directed by Brian Williams Director of Photography was Simon Walsh. It was shot in South Africa by a production company known as Big Fish Ltd. The man singing in the video is Steve Kekana, a blind South African singer who is sometimes reffered to as 'South Africa's Stevie Wonder'. The song 'I love you Africa' was a remix of one of his old tunes released in the 80s. Kekana was contracted by Coca Cola to be part of their '1 Billion Reasosns to Love Africa' campaign. It was produced by Sounds and Pictures Ltd.

i just listened to the track - nice effort! keep it up

well, mr gepheral, it appears you are not ready to hear the truth. You say you want constructive criticism and yet you criticize someone who is trying to give his opinion. So the question now is, who decides which criticism is constructive? is it you, or the person criticizing? It appears you are only happy to listen to what you want to hear, but moving on from that, i tried downloading your song and i couldn't from both of the links you provided. Something seems to be wrong with the song file. That may explain why nobody has given any comment. You may need to check your file and links again

it's funny how some people suffer from selective hearing/ selecting reading. the advert talked about Western countries are getting financial bailout, how 1 in 5 European players is African. How come you didn't see any of these but all you saw was the last sentence which talks about Africans enjoying Coke?

ol'boy seriously, that picture of yours does not do you any justice! you look like a comedian in that picture with that oversized sunshades of yours - must you wear shades to show that you are a hip-hop artiste? walahi, you no get swag at all

what about 'damiduro'? the biggest hit of 2011?

Exclusive: Obodo says kidnapping an inside job
Posted: 2012-06-11 14:58

Nigeria and Udinese midfielder Christian Obodo is relieved finally to reunite with his family and friends after his kidnapping, but exclusively tells KickOffNigeria.com that it was an 'inside job'.

Obodo was kidnapped on Saturday morning on his way to church at Effurun, near Warri, but rescued on Sunday night around Isoko, on the outskirts of the town.

He spoke exclusively to KickOffNigeria.com for the first time of the entire experience.

"I couldn't believe it. I was on my way to church and I had just parked my car when six boys, very young boys, just came to me and started ordering me to come with them.

"I told them to take it easy, that I would do what they say, and they took me to their car, blindfolded me and drove away. I asked where we were going, and they said Port Harcourt, then Benin, then Asaba.

"Instead, when they took off the blindfold, we were in a forest. That night, I slept on the ground.

"But they were very nice to me. They didn't touch me. They didn't take any of my jewellery or wallet or anything else. We were just talking like old friends. They assured me that nothing would happen to me.

"I even prayed with them.

"Then the next morning, they started to move again. It was later that I discovered that it was because the whole state had been covered by security operatives. They told me all the roads, even the rivers and creeks were being watched by security."

It was during his conversation with the kidnappers that he was told that someone close to him was involved.

"They said it was somebody close to me who set everything up. Someone that I have been helping. They said the person told them I would be in that church by 8am that morning. I couldn't believe it. But they asked how they would know my movement to go and wait for me there. I didn't know what to say."

Most kidnappings take at least a week to resolve, but one day was all it took in this case, and Obodo played his part.

"Five of them left to go and get the money, leaving me with one of them. But he later said we had to leave this place because the area was being monitored. He told me to promise him that I would not shout or run away. I told him I'd been cooperating since they took me and since they had promised to release me that day, I would do what he said.

"When we got to the town, he got a call informing him that two or three of them had been captured.

"I heard the other one telling him to take me back and tie me up in the forest.

"I just want to thank everybody. My family got a lot of calls, a lot of support and we just want to thank everyone"
- Christian Obodo
"At that point, I told myself I wasn't going back into that forest. So I told him that it's possible his people wanted to betray him, that they may have taken the money and run. I asked him to let me call my people to find out if the money had been picked up.

"He agreed, but said he did not have credit on his phone, so we would have to walk back into the village to buy airtime.

"As we were walking back to the village, we saw a group of people sitting around, so we stopped to ask for a recharge card. They said they didn't have it there.

"He now said we should move on to the next place. At that point, I pushed him and started running and screaming that I am Chris Obodo and that they should help.

"The people immediately gathered. Luckily, they also had some vigilante people around, they call them Black Beret, and they came and got me.

"The police were also nearby, because they had been tracking them through the phonecalls. That was when I started crying and giving thanks to God. That is how I got out."

Despite the trauma, Obodo says he has no immediate plans to stop returning home to Warri: "It won't stop me from going to Warri. That is where I have lived all my life. I'm a Warri boy and it's not like I go out anyhow.

"Whenever I come home, I play football, three-a-side, in my compound with my friends, I don't go out clubbing like I used to when I was much younger, so why should I stop coming?"

He did, however, admit that the experience will leave scars.

"When something like this happens, you learn a lot. It opened my eyes to a lot of things."

Obodo said he is grateful for the groundswell of support. "I just want to thank everybody. My family got a lot of calls, a lot of support, and we just want to thank everyone."

The midfielder is now a guest of Delta State governor Emmanuel Uduaghan, who has now ordered round-the-clock security for him for the duration of the player's vacation in Nigeria.

1. making calls at odd hours
2. constant calls, even when they are not been returned
3. monitoring your activities and your whearabout by constant questioning
4. constant nagging
5. regularly brings up discussion about marriage
6. Easy access through her legs
7. Constant and sometimes unscheduled visits to your abode
8. Wants you to meet her pastor (within few weeks of meeting you)
9. Wants you to meet her family (within few weeks of meeting you)
10. Gives in easily to your demands without any questions
11. Showers you with gifts even when you are not reciprocating

i am a christian but i believe having a christian section will
(a) make the religious section non existent
(b) make the christian religion appear smaller - believe it or not, not having a christian section makes christianity BIGGER as it makes the whole nairaland appear like a pro-christian website, having a christian section will only reduce christianity to a 'section' on nairaland - we as christians should be bigger than that - when you know a house belong to you, you don't fight for a room within that house - fighting for a room within a house reduces your influence

This is in response to a question posed on a thread by a lady about a week ago. She was wondering if she would get a husband if she resettled in the US. Well, here are some reasons why our girls find themselves on the shelf perpetually after many years of residing in the white man's land. e maa bami kalo

1. excessive pride - overrated ego and placing too high a premium on themselves
2. inability to submit to a man
3. Being intoxicated by state laws favouring women and as such seeing themselves as demi-god
4. Materialism.
5. Inability to start a life with a struggling man. Loooking fir ready-made products
6. Not been spiritual
7. Lack of societal pressure thereby causing excessive comfort and lack of motivation to seek for a life partner
8. Financial, social comfort which in turn makes them over-confident
9. Psychological comfort - no need to satisfy sexual urge
10. And for the single mothers; excessive bond with their children, thereby using the child to fill the missing gap in their lives
11. Lack of good morals - lack of good home training

i'm suprised it's still in the market - very dangerous for consumption - it works effectively as a detergent and a bleach