₦airaland Forum

cruzita:
at least she told u her mind instead of deceiving u.u should be grateful .all u have to do is to show her more love and make her believe u are better and more worthy of her than her ex.my opinion

more love bawo? abeg dude shld come and take t/fare and go on a journey jare
guyman, dnt even try to force it or impress her. give her space and let her decide for herself. shikena!!!

u and dat ur gf are obviously babies.........and some hungry pastors/prophet use dat avenue to mislead and confuse gullible ones.
op, look on d bright side thou, dat ur gf mother is all shades of sorcery and ogbanje. find babe go front.

Fabulousb36:
Hello ppl, I came across dis lounge n I'm willing to share. Being an introvert its not something I'm happy about. first, I can't make frnds or keep the ones dat come around me. ppl judge d outside me a lot, they say I'm a snub, rude n dat I feel dat I'm better Dan odas just coz I keep to myself a lot. I envy my extrovert

bestie often coz of d way she make n keep frnds... ppl luv her. most of my frnds, I got from her. Second, d stage fright part is anoda wahala. I have successfully messed up all my part seminars in sch and now I have my project to defend, I pray dat goes well. Finally, most of u sound very comfortable wit urself but I'm not, I really don't lik pushing ppl away. I envy extroverts nd I keep asking how dey put up wit so many frnds. I feel lonely sometimes. Even when I hang out with my extrovert frnds, I don't seem to fit in. I try hard to communicate nd den I giv up... Back to snubby. Its good knowing dat dia are ppl out there lik me nd are very comfortable wit themselves. * hopeful*

good morning.........being comfortable with ursef is a conscious decision u have to make, it doesnt just happen. secondly, d grass always look greener at d oda side. until u work in d shoes of extrovert b4 u realise they too have dere own fears and worries. welcum here!!!

people say communication is key in relationships but i have noticed most of us can't handle honest/ no-holds barred conversations..........little wonder dere are loads of secrets coming out after marriage.

MRBrownJ:
@Samfigo1
there is nothing wrong with the question you asked and, unless she was a virgin when you met her, i dont see why she should make a big deal out of it.

here is the msg you should send her:" [b]i asked you a simple question that was bothering my mind, and you jumped on your high horses and left, while talking NONSENSE! i believe in HONESTY and therefore if i want to ask you a question then i dont see why i shouldnt. i am sorry if the question offended you but i want/hope i can express myself with you FULLY, without having to second guess myself. i dont know what type of r/ship you want us to build here but i do sincerely hope that the day you want to ask me ANY question, you do so regardless of how i may feel. i dont have a crystal ball to know if you have ever done such a thing, and since this is important (to me), i want to make sure about it, and get this out the way, from the get go.

btw: many good women have had abortions after being raped by evil men, while others did so because of the ill circumstances they found themselves into... who am i to judge them? i wont, but i certainly want to be aware, AND decide, if i want to be with such person or not, because having a family is important to me, and many women have damaged womb due to the quack/charlatans that perform these illegal abortions.[/b] "

see ehn, BABA GOD blessing no go pass u by.

RockMaxi:

You are not being sincere a bit. The wife was the first to break a mutual agreement on the basis of self desire and fulfilment yet will not see to the upkeep of the house. Do you need to be told that the husband went out of his way first to get a maid. A responsible wife will not allow her husband to do that.

Your final assertion reveals a lot to desiring less of people who still think in this way.

GOD bless u bro, y are the female folks deliberately jumping d part of d wife agreeing to something and breaking it? (ladies will agree to anything just to get married anyway) it just goes to show dat we are hypocrite and onli see wat we want to see. but having said that, they shld either come to a common ground or go dere ways.

i think it depends, some men are nt even rili responsible when togeda nt to talk of wen seperated or divorced. also, some men take out d anger on d children which is nt rite.

Mzflexydeeva:
you welcome dear

wetin u chop remain? Na pounded yam i want o, i don tire for rice.

DEllaluv:
Enough rice inside my tummy now

Shegxi, no b zombie r/ship o, dia s more understanding, and it's so so nice wen d partner is just a bit extroverted. So far dts d best, and much more enjoyable, u just b urself

well if dat works for u, all well and good. I dn't tink it will work for me sha. Merry xmas

zeanslim:
You must really had an extroverted best experience LOL

yea.....she used to push me alot though i was very uncomfortable at dat time, i have come to know dose things are for my own good and i appreciate it.

Merry xmas babe

Mzflexydeeva:
Merry Christmas

zeanslim:
What do you mean ? ..
is your Gf or you an extrovert ?

i dnt tink i will survive dating an introvert as i am one myself except d connection is so strong. I dnt want a "zombie" r/ship.

If u dnt call........dere is no way we are even going to d next level. Flash as u want, i wnt call u.

DEllaluv:
Exactly,pure rest of mind

lol.....u and zeanslim are just jonzing

The best decision any man can make in his lifetime is to ensure dat he does nt allow society determine his lifestyle/choices. Every problem arises as a result of deviation from dis simple sentence.

DEllaluv:
I do wonder o,I believe tns will work out fyn dt day as regards dancing,cos its definitely gonna be wu I'm comfortable with

u are contradicting ursef ma'am. Are u saying u weren't comfortable wit ur ex?

Ezechinwa:
Mehn... Let me start by saying "You killed it brov", that post says it all... Sir indeed there are few wise people on Nairaland, and am honored to quote one of them!!! Merry christmas and Happy new year in advance

merry christmas broda.......may 2016 bring us good tidings!!!

This is a non issue.....it is natural. It is called law of seperation and association. If u become a billonaire today, ur circles of friends wuld automatically change whether u like it or nt. Yorubas will say "20 kids cannot play 2geda for 20years". People will come into ur life and some will go, just make sure ur friendship benefits u at wateva point u have dem in ur life.

Tradition and religion.........limiting people since 1846bc. Rubbish!!!
For those shouting parents, so orphans no dey marry abi? Africans have bn making mockery of education, intelligence and common sense since time immemorial.
Last bullet------- u are limited by ur belief system and d choices u make.

DEllaluv:
D;
True, dia are ppl I'm comfortable with,cos I can dance and talk freely in the presence of dose few, but once outside or around many ppl, no matter how hard I try my body will never conform with my mind..... Don't know how to explain it

lols......so u mean u can twerk very well when u guys are alone. Have u ever thought wat ur gonna do on ur wedding day?

Olarewajub:
Was he aware of your personality?

wait o.......wat if he was aware? Am i missing somthing? He was her bf for a reason. Even as introverted as u mite be, dere are som people u are just comfortable wit. I guess mayb she can't dance sha

Jimbiz:
I am so glad to know a page that describe me exist. Please I need help, I find it difficult to relate with the opp gender,I enjoy keeping to myself and watching movies alone, sometimes I feel lonely and to make matters worst I easily get jealous.
I need help so fast, I want to be able to stand out. Please any one in the house help me.

just develop ursef more and people will find u. Bt d jealous part, dats a weakness on ur side and nt cos ur introverted. U shld work on it and u will be fyn.

Dynamite02:
Yeah its true! We can say "Forming had to get" when the lady already likes the guy and wants to stress him (guys form had to get too..... some make yanga pass tolo-tolo sef) ....but its not applicable in every situation esp. when the person involved is not just interested.
Discernment will help one identify which is which

discernment is d word!!!

misspicy:
it is even adviceable for a lady to be approachable by been friendly,smiling and welcoming
but all this should be done to everybody she comes across does that mean she wants to date them all?

giving a green light goes beyond been friendly and No am not gonna make that mistake now that am wiser because once bitten twice shy

so in d end, u are contented with onli d guys dat comes ur way rather dan someone dat u will prefer? Afta all has bn said, u ladies are d one still short-changing ursefs and most ladies still take d attitude into r/ships.

misspicy:
did you see that part @the bolded?you even added a laughing smiley....
it means any Lady will feel pained at that because that laughing smiley a mocking laugh from you to the person involved
if any reason should be given for breakup I don't think that should be a point,it shows the girl is desperate etc more reason why ladies still find it difficult to ask any man out,because not all relationships will end in marriage.

i undastand u miss. Am just saying if we stopped trying because we failed once, den we will never make headway. And never ask any guy out even when u like him, but by all means be friendly, dats d least u can do.
The truth is i will gladly approach a lady dat smiles and seems friendly dan d one otherwise. We are very hypocritical in dis part of d world.

misspicy:
did you see that part @the bolded?you even added a laughing smiley....
it means any Lady will feel pained at that because that laughing smiley a mocking laugh from you to the person involved
if any reason should be given for breakup I don't think that should be a point,it shows the girl is desperate etc more reason why ladies still find it difficult to ask any man out,because not all relationships will end in marriage.

i undastand u miss. Am just saying if we stopped trying because we failed once, den we will never make headway. And never ask any guy out even when u like him, but by all means be friendly, dats d least u can do.
The truth is i will gladly approach a lady dat smiles and seems friendly dan d one otherwise.

misspicy:
the excuse she asked me out was used,did you get that part at all?

yeah bad girls gets the good guys therefore we all have learned to be bad as long as we end up with that innocent guy someday

so it is d excuse dat is paining u . See ehn, people will give d most silliest reason when they have bn caught doing wrong, guys and gurls alike so dat shldn't surprise u and it shld nt also stop u from going for wat u want.

Dynamite02:
@op you used the word "DESIRE", why would a lady desire something and still not look for a way to get it? A simple smile can pass the message across
,creating avenues to spend time with the person too can help ...there are so many ways one can do it, it is called seduction and there is creativity in seduction. Men are hunters by nature..ladies are seductive by nature.
Those ladies who "play had to get"(if u choose to use that word/see it that way) seriously lack the DESIRE you mentioned,they are not interested or are too distracted to notice e.g the shulammite maiden already has someone and king solomon was just wasting his time wooing her.
Its is possible for someone not to be interested initially and the interested party will have to give the uninterested a reason to be interested...... i.e the art of conviction,it can either be shortened or prolonged depending on ones convincing power( and peeps begin to label this as "playing hard to get".......its normal and natural)

madam, u made sense if this is d true picture of things and reality. Unfortunately, it is nt entirely true. D point is, ladies have bn program(africans) to "stress" d dude even when they like him from d get go and dat is forming hard to get. In d end sha, everybody shld define wat works for him/her.

misspicy:
lemme tell you a story



so in my early dating years,there was this cool guy in my hood,very handsome and gentle,so I had a crush on him,I started showing it,I gave him attention,we became close,he saw the signs and we started dating,later on the guy cheated and then when his friends confronted him on my behave,he made them realise I asked him out,he never wanted the relationship...lmao
all in all,I was blamed

u said it all in ur first line "in ur early dating days". Wait lemme ask, if he has asked u out, and he still cheated, wuld it have bn less painful? Conversely, if he asked u out and he wanted to cheat, he wuld still have cheated.
U know dere is this commonly assumed theory dat d bad gurls(nt bad bad bt bad as in gurls who know dere game) ends of wit d good guys, y do u tink it is so? D ansa lies in wat d op has written.

phatasschick:
Exactly! You are on point. They will tag you DESPERADO ( desperate). Some will call you CHEAP

u ladies are still nt getting d point, no one is saying ask us out. But when u like someone, make ursef aprroachable, dat is nt d time to form hard and serious. I actually undastand d fears of ladies but life is to short to onli settle for onli d stuff dat comes our way. Sometimes, we need to prepare and go grab wat we want.

Olarewajub:
Oh i see, no disappointment expected. How do you do this, can i say you are being care free?

care free is nt d right word, of course am very careful. Anybody dat want to disappoint will disappoint whether u worry or nt. Dere are rili no hard and fast rule to it. Just be careful, know ur standards den simply hope for d best.