₦airaland Forum

GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!
Everton has finally broken the dead luck with a nice tap in from R.LUKAKU. It's Everton 1-0 Crystal Palace. Im watching the review of Everton matcch against Crystal Palace.
*** LoL. Those Liverpool fans don dey fear. ***

Thanks man! I will start eating my pineapple with its peel on.
**somehow**

When I want to live my next life. Im going to mars.

Post your site link here. I want to know how it looks like.

Scyllapatron: @op - any parable of a naked man and woman in a swimming pool? pls share..

AlfaSeltzer: Waiting for the parable of the 7 prostitutess and their big membered clients.

what are you two doing in religious section of this site?

Good luck to QPR https://www.nairaland.com/1912033/parable-three-market-women

The Kingdom of God is liken unto three market women who went to the market to buy goods. The first went to the market and bought all her goods and return to the bus-stop where the bus will pick her up. The second went likewise and on getting to the seller, she started gossiping and discussing earthly matters. While the third went also and bought her goods, and on getting to the bustop, she remembered that she had forgotten to buy some other goods, so she went back to the market. Finally the bus arrived and pick up the first market woman, but the other market women were left behind. The first woman is liken to a believer who have focused his mind on heaven. The second is liken to a fellow who after coming to the world, mixed up with the world and forgot about his Creator and about returning home. The third is liken to a believer whom after recieving Christ, got pulled back by earthly desires. Remember Jesus' word in Luk 9:62 "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God". Will you be ready and well prepared when Jesus comes back? How have you been preparing for eternity?

The Kingdom of God is liken unto three market women who went to the market to buy goods. The first went to the market and bought all her goods and return to the bus-stop where the bus will pick her. The second went likewise and on getting to the seller, she started gossiping and discussing earthly matters. While the third went also and bought her goods, and on getting to the bustop, she remembered that she had forgotten to buy some other goods, so she went back to the market. Finally the bus arrived and pick up the first market woman, but the other market women were left behind. Will you be ready and well prepared when Jesus comes back? How have you been preparing for eternity?

At last, it made fp*******
Part of this post are real because iv watched an American fried Cockroach for dinner.
**Man walks into a restaurant.**
Man: give me a plate of cokroach and two frogs.
Waiter: at your service sir!

Are we making Bean cake?

Akpors went to a software store, on spotting a brightly coloured software disc with inscription Mozilla Firefox 4.0 . Akpors said to himself ' Nna men this war film na die' .Akpors called the attendant ' Plz o my son, do you have the season one and two of this movie?' The attendant fainted.

Akpors went to a software store, on spotting a brightly coloured software disc with inscription Mozilla Firefox 4.0 . Akpors said to himself ' Nna men this war film na die' .Akpors called the attendant ' Plz o my son, do you have the season one and two of this movie?' The attendant fainted.

How many tablet of water melon seed must i chew?

Sunday is special and rice is special. So you should eat a special food on a special day.

I hate am pass mango

More Assist to Fabregars more Goals to Costa

poiZon: abeg who score for mancity?

Sir Aguero and Ma Di michelis

If i hear! Chelsea will win by 3goals to 1goal

Chai! He remain small, i for make FP

Sorry o! Its just scamming things.
ROCKET
Nigerians scamming since 1960

NOTE: you can now like and unlike your post.
We are now working on the who like my post feature.

A GIVING THAT PINCHES:
What shall I render unto the LORD for all His benefits towards me? -Pslm 116:12.
It is a good thing to give back to God who first gave us what we possess. Many believers are fond of giving to God the least, less and rotten part of what God has giving them. While others do their giving with frowness and anger to God. This is a case of Cain and Abel. Cain's attitude towards his offering was very bad but Abel was accepted. If your person has been rejected by God, your offerings can never be accepted. But the King replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it, I will not sacrifice unto the Lord burnt offerings that cost me nothing."- 2Sam 24:24a. This was the word of King David when he was told to offer up sacrifice unto the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite. Araunah insist on giving King David the threshing floor and sacrificial animal for free which he rejected. Unlike King David, many would have jumped on that offer and end up giving to God what cost them nothing, hoping to receive from him again. Stop deceiving yourself! God is not a begger. He only wants to know if you can surrender everything He has giving you to Him just like father Abraham did, when he offered up Isaac. Another person who made an offering that pinch in the bible was the poor widow whom Jesus talked about (Luk21:3-4). While the rich did thier giving out of there riches, this poor widow gave all his life savings to God. No wonder Jesus talked about her. "But who am I and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generous as this? Everything comes from you, and we have giving you only what comes from your hand" -1Chro29:14. Nothing we possess in life is ours. All were giving to us by God. Hence no man should hold back what God has first giving him from God. Does your giving pinch? God bless you.

LIKE AND SHARE PLSSS

Hmmm
###To Be Modified###
Ok! Ehm, wetin make I post self?
**picks up his shoe, dusted it and walks out**
###Modified###

I just saw your thread today. Im sorry for not replying as soon as possible. But if you have not solve the problem. Simply open the thread where you quote me with the attatched ad logo. Using operamini on ur phone redownload the logo by clicking "Page information > Download images". The size will be reduced to 16kb

Uhhmmm!

hummerwise: @op, will add dis 2 it.

Mukeyna2: .

Haha! Those space bookers.

NEWS FLASH:
The wildlife reserve have estimated that there will be an extinction of tigers before 2020 due to hunters hunting for tigers skin.

AMERICAN REACTIONS:
JOSH: I heard this on CNN last night
BEN: WTF!
DERBIE: I love tigers. God pls don't let them go into extinction.
KATE: Stupid hunters
MARK: The wildlife Reserves should work harder and stop this mess.
DRAKE: Those F**king hunters will die in my arms!


NIGERIA REACTIONS:

BOLA: And you call this a news. Mtcheeeew!
CHUKS: Money is involved
GARBA: **crossing Third Mainland Bridge while dancing Azonto**
CHIDINMA: Pishure or i don bliv it!
MOSES: Abeg who get blackberry charger for here?
EMMA: The hunters must be stopped and arrested
HOPE: Visit www.nairaland.com for the latest mtn 500gb cheat
JAMIU: Let the government do somthing about this quickly oh.
JOSHUA: GEJ till 2050!
APKAN: Im suspecting the forest in Sambisa.
ERNEST: ......space booked.....
SUSAN: story for the gods
BOSE: What is Tiger?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We will be preparing noodles.
I Like Golden Penny noodles (The new goat flavour) so you can choose your own noodles.

Get a working stove (if you dont have one, you can use firewood)
pour 1gallon of kerosene
"Aghhrr! I dont need to tell you guys how to prepare your stove na. Abeg!"
Ok boil a bucket of water in your pot then add 1pack of your favourite noodles then leave for 30minutes to dry the water. While waiting for it to dry you can sit down and be playing with matches or any kitchen gadgets. When it finally gets dry add your seasoning. Walah! You've just succeded in becoming a good cook. Note That: You can add a little red oil for smooth swimming through your throat. You can also spice it with Bitterleaf or Ugwu.



Posted By: The Latest Cook in Town

My favourite memory verses are:

But who am I and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generous as this? Everything comes from you, and we have giving you only what comes from your hand" -1Chro29:14

Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Malachi 3:8

Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matt 11:28

Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thyne Holy Spirit from me. Pslm51:11

No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God" -Luk9:62



POST YOURS!

FLESH AT WORK:
Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak -Matt26:41.
Most often, I find it difficult to say my prayers whenever I get back from work. My thoughts become divided. All what I hav'nt been thinking before going on my kneels to pray, will start coming out of my mind. One of such prayers goes like this: "Dear father I thank You for today (tomorrow I have to add SEO plugins to my website), I thank You for my family (I will need to wash my clothes before going to work tomorrow), I thank You for my business (I wonder why Chelsea didn't play Eden Hazard last night). AHHHGRRR! Why am I praying and thinking other things! God help me." Such prayers cannot go beyond your house top; if it tries to, it will be pulled down by the earth's gravitational force. "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish" -Gal5:17. Whenever the flesh is in control of the life of a believer, it will always do something to distract your Spirit. Sometimes when you are reading a chapter of a bible, you fall asleep easily than when you are reading a thousand page novel. That's the flesh at work! No wonder Jesus Christ's desciples could'nt pray with Him for one hour (Matt26:40). They all fell asleep. "So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God" -Rom8:8. If you are the type who abandon prayer times for television; going to church for party; reading the bible for newspaper etc. Know that you are walking in the flesh. And there is nothing you are going to receive from God. "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God -Rom8:14. Ask for the fullness of the Holy Spirit today. God bless you.

Your sins have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear you -Isa39:2.
Zacchaeus was a tax collector - a chief tax collector. All tax collectors of their times were found as sinners. Because of the devious means in which they collect money from innocent people. On one faithful day, when Jesus was passing through Jericho, Zacchaeus sought to know who Jesus was but could not because of his short stature. Many so called believers of this recent times are like this short man. Our sins have made us so short that we cannot see God's presence neither are we able to hear from Him. Many believers are fond of complaining saying: "I've been born again for several years now, but i haven't receive any answers to my prayers". Check yourself! Inspite of his short stature, Zacchaeus still try harder to see Him but could not because of the crowd. So are believers today, after accepting Jesus into their lives, they are drawn back by the cares of this life. "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God" -Luk9:62. Some after going through different challenges they give up easily without making any effort to overcome it. But unlike Zacchaeus, he never gave up until he found Jesus. The bible said 'he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree'. And finally he found Jesus Christ. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, "Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today i must stay at your house" -Luk19:5. If Zacchaeus could find Jesus inspite of many difficulty, then there is no excuse for you for not finding God's presence and not Knowing who He is. All you need do is to forsake your sins and depart from worldly living. God bless you.