Thank You all for the contribution

@spotmataz
You rock! Thanks for the insight.

spotmataz:


Coping and dealing with the issue is virtually the same and it entails a lot of allies like,

A good Self Esteem and Image,
A Good Carreer,
A good and healthy Beauty Rountine
A Good Relationship With God,
God does not forget his own, a Father always provide for his children and u wont be an exception here,,,always pray and hold on to God's word,,,, If u blive u will have it, ( mind u this is not only as regards to marriage)

Don't be pressurised into marrying just anyone, a lot of marriages are barely together now, many couples put up a front when outside,,,just because they wanted to acquire the "MARRIED" status,

Another thing is that u will need support, some1 to pray with u, encourage u, that u can share your pains, thoughts, fears,,,etc,,with, this will go a long way in helping you keeping your cool, I can go on and on, but if u desire a loving, passionate, fulfilling marriage, then take your time,  a marriage u'll be happy u waited this long for, good men are still out there,,,,,

spotmataz

@tensor777 Thank you for the advise on being proactive and so on. On the contrary, feeling sorry wasn't part of the pressures. Feeling sorry for yourself is proof of your level of understanding who you actually are. Improving every area of your life wasn't too vague to grasp. This thread isn't just about personal pressures. There are many out there who themselves have confessed on this thread of dealing with the same pressures. Like someone noted on the thread, the best books to read are those written by people facing the same challenge. Likewise, Those going through this challenge who read about improving every area of their lives, know exactly what that means to them.

tensor777:

Honestly Single Life I don't know what you  are going on  about. Saying things like improving your appearance and working on every area of your life are far too vague considering the fact that we are dealing here with a highly specific area which YOU raised.
Anyway is this thread about making you feel better about yourself or even making you stop feeling sorry for yourself
My own advice is that you should make haste while the sun still shines, be proactive and friendly to the opposite gender whilst keeping your legs closed until after marriage.
DON'T attempt reading books by single christian sisters but DO read dating and relationship advice books by powerful annointed happily married men and women of God

A woman who has friends must show herself friendly.

Why can't people follow simple instructions?

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Thanks, hot titles, would have to read some of them with an extremely open mind; if you know what I mean. Thanks for taking the time, would hope that you find more during your outing with friends tonight. Cheers

queensmith:


@ post
'why men love bitches' by sherry argov,
this is the only relationship book ive ever read and its simply amazing! its about dating and has a mans perspective on the way women behave. The reason why i recomend the book is because it also gives a 'feel good' approach to single women. The book elevated me, since i realized at the end, dating is simply a game. Plus it will boost you onto the right attitude when you start dating. The last thing you want to do is waste years on one man that will lead you nowhere!

Find a Husband After 35: Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School by rachel greenwald
I havent read this book but the idea is ecstatic!!! WARNING The book is a 101 for women over 35 that DESPERATELY want to be married, in a way it might encourage you to lower your standards to an embarrassingly low potential. Its better to take the overall approach of the book rather than take it word for word, some of my friends found it quite demeaning but i read most women that tried it were married in 18 months. Ill advise it to you sha.

Eat pray love by elizabeth gilbert
I havent read this but its an inspiring story, alot of my friends hate it because they say its [b]condescending [/b]but alot of women believe it to be inspiring. It encourages self centred-ness and self indulgence, not a bad thing in my opinion!

im actually meetin with a few friends tonight ill find out abt some other inspiring books you can read

Ah!  Well said is an understatement.
Wonders will never end.

tlops:

OP what u are experiencing is peer pressure. I think you should be more concerned at having good grades in school now than looking for a boy friend. Dear [b]set your priorities right [/b]if you know what I mean.

Goodluck jonathan to you

Did you take your time to read the entire thread?

venchi:

u need to give your life to Jesus Christ and you will over come all pressure in life and he will give you mr right

Thank You

Akaraoku$:

@ Singlelife
I can detect from your replies that you'd be such a nice and courteous person in real life given how you reply to even some of the posts that have/leave a sour taste in the mouth
Regarding the subject matter, i think the major issue here was morelike misplacement of priorities when you were younger. Please i'm not saying that serving the Lord is not a good thing but you let that take the whole of your attention without realizing the effect on other aspects of your life.Even the same bible says there is time for everything, also i reckon with people advising you to go out and socialize.The story of Ruth in the bible makes an interesting read as she had to position her strategically in Boaz's farm to attract his attention(watch two things in this story-d advice to go out in the field of Boaz came from Naomi her MIL(older woman) secondly she advised to also dress to impress).
I have friends who are passing through this same experience and this is the advice i give as i was even in my midtwenties when i started getting pressures from my relatives particularly my mum. Now ,there are certain things /traits that matter so much to an individual in the most realistic and objective way.Do not compromise on character traits you cannot live with.
You asked questions on the kind of places to go to; go to movies, take yourself out, go to internet dating sites!(yes there is no harm so long as you do it with guided wisdom /common sense afterall d world is a global village now and people have hit gold mines on the internet,e-banking e.t.c)
In addition to all the advice given,learn to love yourself cos it is only then you can extend it to another person! In finality ,note that most good gifts don't come in the package we expect them to be in!
Wishing you the best while praying 4 u for d peace dt superceeds all understanding regardless of the storm!!!

@queensmith

What about the recommended resources you promised to post when
you do get back home?

@Meldrick @Madam Tpia and @tensor777

If you read @meadan's post without being judgmental you would discover that key elements were mentioned which was why it was considered one of the notable advises considering other post before it.

Reread it:- "improve your physical appearance every single day, In short, work on every aspect of your life"

Go back to the post, it's there. And it is a notable and sound advise.

Tell me what is wrong with Improving yourself every day and working on every aspect of your life every day as you walk towards your goal, marriage or any other thing?

tensor777:

You know what[b] Single Life [/b] Meldrick and Madam Tpia have given you the best advice thus far but for some odd reason you have rejected them and most bewilderingly accepted the advice of people that say you should continue as you are. Then why did you open this thread in the first place? Do you really want to get married or are you here just whining about the pressures friends and family are putting on you to get married.
Because first and foremost you must desire marriage yourself. Then next you need to position yourself to meet eligible bachelors. That is your sole responsibility inasmuch as you would have prayed and fasted to meet the right husband before going out. This means being caring, kind, respectful, and puttng a smile on your face as much as is possible.

right man does not always mean Rich Pot Bellied Hunks, with castles built to match their status.
How about easy going, loves the Lord, believes in a bright future, fun to be with and not as judgmental as you; Meldrick?

Meldrick:

She says she is waiting for Mr. Right. My Dear wait oh. Wait, I hope you don't get to menopause.

Lots of men are out there. You can't say you've never had toasters but I feel you have been waiting for the likes of Adenugas, Abiolas e.t.c. The guys on average level are not Mr. Right but let Paddy Adenuga approach you, he will automatically become Mr. Right.

Ladies looking for Rome already built. hissessssss

Your best advise?

[quote author= seedord247
Hug Transformer 

[/quote][quote]

Don't worry, don't be shy about it, you can tell us here if you are searching or pressured as well

segunjowo:

@ Poster, post your pix for NL member to size u up and, u just might get lucky! lol.
all the best,

Heard a lot of GO OUT in this discussion; any advise on where to go? while suggesting, please keep in mind, we are not talking about the "shaye shaye" kind of life. Thanks People

Wow! What wealth of advice, thank you People.

@harakiri  thank you for that note on by @tellwisdom;
not all ladies privileged to experience the prolonged single life spent their early days living "shaye shaye" lives or turning away drop-dead gorgeous looking hunks. To end the speculation @tellwisdom, on the contrary, it has been a quiet life of loving the Lord and being at Church at every workable opportunity.

Thanks queensmith, can't wait to for you to get home to post those books and articles.
By the way queensmith, great conversation you have going there with @Seedord247 and @Bankylan.

queensmith:

@poster ill advise you not to buy any book advising single women written by a man! ive heard of alot of books and articles you can read, when i get home ill post them here.

Dandas:

U had better go and marry now[b] if u see husband[/b],

if you don't see the husband, what do you do? Hang yourself?

Thank you

idugbe:

First of all, you must know that singleness is not a sickness, it's only a phase of life, secondly, there is no age restriction or limit for this stage of one's life. Also, you should know that it is better not to marry than to marry the wrong person. Finally, it is not in the place of a lady to find a husband, according to the scriptures, it is a lady's place to be found, so arm yourself with these truths and relax.
people will put you under pressure, but the question is 'are you under pressure?' Do you really want to settle down now? If yes, then there are a few things you can do.
1. Be busy: get involved in your job, career, biz, etc
2. Be involved in charity work, show someone love not because you want to be paid back, but becaus you really care.
3. Be useful in your local assembly, God is a rewarder (Heb 11:6)
4. Be steadfast in your prayers (Matt 7:7-
5. Be yourself, love yourself, love your life and continue to radiate love. It will come back to you!
6. Wait, watch and wait!

bankylan:

Check me book on amazon or wsicebooks.com or you can order from me directly. The tiitle is HOW TO SURVIVE HEARBREAK AND PROLONGED SINGLENESS.
Lanre

Just checked; didn't find it,

maedan:

single life I'd advise that you focus on your career, create achievements for yourself, improve on your physical appearance every single day. All these things will keep you busy and your mind off your single status. And who knows, someone will get to notice you esp when you have made something of yourself. In short: work on every aspect of your life, marriage may then come before you know it.

Thanks Maedan, that's the "soundest" of advise I've read so far

Hey People, I need help

I'm single, over 30 and under pressure from
Parents, Friends and just about every one around me to get Married.

Haven't met the right guy but still praying to.

My question is this:

How do I deal with the pressures?
How do I cope with the pressures?

I'm really looking for ways to cope with
this and would really appreciate sound advise.

Thanks people