Hi sis,

I am not trying to be religious here oh! But a fact of life is a lot happens that are beyond what the eyes can see.

First examine your thoughts, what do you think about yourself? I asked myself one day, and the response I got from my mind was startling, imagine me thinking I am a struggling person, despite the fact that I earn a good salary, and work in a nice place! So I had to sit down and reprpogram my mind to see myself as successful. We all have such limitations in our subconscious! We only need to find them out and root them out! So ask yourself what type of lady are you! Do you see yourself as attractive, someone men fall over themselves to be with, or do you feel you are always rejected, and a struggling type, always looking for love and finding none! So please recreate a new and positive mental image for yourself first. "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he"!
Secondly, ask people around you to describe you, in all sincerity, in fact Jesus once asked his disciples too, " what do the people say about me?". Perhaps there are some habits you need to correct, it could, your body language! Truth is body languages speaks loudly than words. What message do you pass to men? Does it show aggression or hatred, or a sense of superiority or pride? Are you caring? Or are you the type that can only care for a guy only if the guy is your man? Write down people's observation. Most of the time, people see us the way we really are, even though we cannot. Write these nasty habits down and learn to correct them. Finally for point two, learn ro smile! Nothing attracts a guy than that. A smile, caring word and action and show of affection gets a guy more than any other method. Ladies get it wronf when they think flaunting their bodies does the trick, believe me it doesn't get you a husband, just a playboy or randy guy!
Lastly, you may have to start doing what we call positive confessions, start confessing and dreaming positively, and DON"T FORGET TO PRAY!
Wish you the best!

segunjowo:

@ Poster, post your pix for NL member to size u up and, u just might get lucky! lol.
all the best,

c dis guy u want to c weda d chic wor wor

My sister,
as u no get husband now e b like say world don finish, but im pass like that ooooo, just take am easy.
Tell them say u dey pray about am,and u go soon bring am come home, Godb go help you ,u must also look inward,because some ladies want ready made,instead of buildin their home with an average guy.take it easy, forget fruiends wey dey pressure u,wen yawa happen now ,dem go bone u ooo

Don't worry, don't be shy about it, you can tell us here if you are searching or pressured as well

segunjowo:

@ Poster, post your pix for NL member to size u up and, u just might get lucky! lol.
all the best,

poster, take your time dear. The questions never end, but hey better single and still waiting for Mr Right than being unhappily married (which it seems many people are) Next time something like this happens ask the offending party how they'd rate their marriage on a scale of one to ten.


this is the smartest comment ever and the truth.

swaggrbabe:

poster, take your time dear. The questions never end, but hey better single and still waiting for Mr Right than being unhappily married (which it seems many people are) Next time something like this happens ask the offending party how they'd rate their marriage on a scale of one to ten.


this is the smartest comment ever and the truth.

Dumbest comment ever

How do you rate a marriage on scale of one to ten.

@ Poster

Life has its ups and down, so is marriage.

If you keep listening to those negative comments about marriage, then you will remain single for a long time.

As i said earlier you need to make[b] friends, socialize and pray[/b]. You will surely find your match.

Your best advise?

[quote author= seedord247
Hug Transformer 

[/quote][quote]

How far my follow Nigeria,i had bring good thing to you.Free call is here again but only for glo to glo.here is my number 08152046990.

swaggrbabe:

poster, take your time dear. The questions never end, but hey better single and still waiting for Mr Right than being unhappily married (which it seems many people are) Next time something like this happens ask the offending party how they'd rate their marriage on a scale of one to ten.


this is the smartest comment ever and the truth.

Am sure that your still single and going to 50. U just created a perfect excuse to remain single and equally unhappy

@Poster I think Sfactor have said it all

It's not about getting married,but really being married to someone u will spend d rest of ur life wif.Many a woman hav bin pressured like u n ended up jumpin into marriages dat they ended up jumpin out from.Marriage is serious business n shud be ventured into wif serious considerations.Pls,wpteva u do,don't get married cos u're under pressure to,get married cos u wanna.I wish u d best of luck dear.Trust me,dere're lots of married women who wishes they were single cos of d kind of marriage they r into.Take it easy!

.

It's really surprising for a lady over 30 to say she is been pressured and the advise she considers best is to focus on her career and pretend nothing is happening instead of addressing the main issue. She says she is waiting for Mr. Right. My Dear wait oh. Wait, I hope you don't get to menopause.

Lots of men are out there. You can't say you've never had toasters but I feel you have been waiting for the likes of Adenugas, Abiolas e.t.c. The guys on average level are not Mr. Right but let Paddy Adenuga approach you, he will automatically become Mr. Right.

Ladies looking for Rome already built. hissessssss

right man does not always mean Rich Pot Bellied Hunks, with castles built to match their status.
How about easy going, loves the Lord, believes in a bright future, fun to be with and not as judgmental as you; Meldrick?

Meldrick:

She says she is waiting for Mr. Right. My Dear wait oh. Wait, I hope you don't get to menopause.

Lots of men are out there. You can't say you've never had toasters but I feel you have been waiting for the likes of Adenugas, Abiolas e.t.c. The guys on average level are not Mr. Right but let Paddy Adenuga approach you, he will automatically become Mr. Right.

Ladies looking for Rome already built. hissessssss

There are four reasons we get married:
1) For companionship - which generates he love, care, support (emotional and otherwise) etc from spouse - and children
2) For procreation (having children) - which takes care of the need for humans to love and loved (and serves as a dependable support in old age)
3) Support - an offshoot of (1) above. Your spouse understands you and your dreams and helps you get there
4) The Lord, God, said so - the spiritual side of it. And society agrees - which explains the pressure that starts at a certain age.

Just like headache, fever, cold and the likes are not illnesses but symptomatic of ailments in the body which we need to deal with, so also is the pressure from society regarding marriage actually working in our favour reminding us that we need to do something quickly. Vox populi, vox Deus. Marriage, if managed responsibly with maturity is the best institution in the world. Proofs abound.

There are lots of advantages that attend early marriages both for men and women.
For women, as this thread demands, it should be IDEAL to finish having your children at the age of 25. Ideal start? Probably 18 - 20yrs. I do not need to go into the medical, social, emotional and physical advantages. Since the physical is the most noticeable, you'd have noticed that majority of the people who finish early retain their youthful figures including good looking bosoms (I assume we are all adults) which is usually the toast of our esteemed ladies.

Many of us here are being sympathetic to the poster but that's not what she needs nor has she asked for it.
My advice, which is in consonance with what a number of people here have said - and I applaud - is that the poster should go get married.
The age of excessive 'doing guy' and 'posing' is over.
You  are beautiful, I sense it. Don't measure guys by what they are now materially. Believe, as it is written, that 'with God all things are possible'. Settle with one person, then work and pray towards the future of your dreams. That person is, eventually, your Mr. Right. The dream will eventually unfold.

Kudos to tpia* and a host of you who stayed positively pragmatic and not sympathetic. [size=16pt]Sympathy has never solved a problem in this world. Reject it!!![/size]

@ Maedan. Nice post @ your . keep it up baby!

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"poster if you're serious about needing a husband, better get to stepping.

even non-naija women in other countries [including developed ones] arent singing this "im happy to be single" song. They're snapping up the naija guys as fast as they [the dudes] can get off the boat.

swallow your pride and re-evaluate your options.

if you have no plans to ever marry, that's different."

@Tpia
I like the fact that you keep it real all the time

@Singlelife:

Turn to our Lord Jesus Christ. He has the blue -print for your life.
Life without Christ is in Crisis!!!

My sister do not be dismay, for with God ALL things are possible.
If Sarah can conceive at 75yrs, then ur case is a walk-over.

If you re not already born-again, then do urself a favour and sincerely accept Jesus as ur lord and saviour and be qualified for answered prayers.

Remember, God created you in His own image.

God bless you.
BREAKTHROUGH UNLIMITED 2011.

Meldrick:

It's really surprising for a lady over 30 to say she is been pressured and the advise she considers best is to focus on her career and pretend nothing is happening instead of addressing the main issue. She says she is waiting for Mr. Right. My Dear wait oh. Wait, I hope you don't get to menopause.
Lots of men are out there. You can't say you've never had toasters but I feel you have been waiting for the likes of Adenugas, Abiolas e.t.c. The guys on average level are not Mr. Right but let Paddy Adenuga approach you, he will automatically become Mr. Right.

Ladies looking for Rome already built. hissessssss

You know what[b] Single Life [/b] Meldrick and Madam Tpia have given you the best advice thus far but for some odd reason you have rejected them and most bewilderingly accepted the advice of people that say you should continue as you are. Then why did you open this thread in the first place? Do you really want to get married or are you here just whining about the pressures friends and family are putting on you to get married.
Because first and foremost you must desire marriage yourself. Then next you need to position yourself to meet eligible bachelors. That is your sole responsibility inasmuch as you would have prayed and fasted to meet the right husband before going out. This means being caring, kind, respectful, and puttng a smile on your face as much as is possible.

Marriage is a free slave trade that people go in to under pressures like one you are having now, so if you because of that rush into it then be sure of continual endurance, but if it is done out mutual conept.

Well, i reckon the ones advising her to go deaf and dumb, ignore the pressure, focus on her career and looks are merely happy at the fact that they have another partner-in-crime cuz all that is vanity. You are trying to push her into living an old age of boredom and frustration. All she's worked for will go to people who never knew how she got them cuz her kids will be too young to claim anytin(if she ever delivers).

Ladies are soo funny, always want to eat there cake and have it. At over 30, your potential hubby has got to live with the fact that the max you can have is 2kids(if you are not over 35). That is his cross. You are approaching puberty (Plain truth). Dont allow them to deceive you. You have got to set your priorities and realise your career and all those is vanity. Learn to compromise too and get someone who is ready to build a family with you. You aint got so many choices left my dear. Money is secondary when it comes to marriage cuz happiness is what counts for a dude. Any guy who wed's for your money will eventually make your life hell on earth at the end of the day.

1) We need to ask her the number of relationships she's had and how she managed them.

2) We need to know what exactly she wants in a man.

3) We need to clearly define what her priorities are.

4) We need to know if she is truly living a life of reality or fantasy

5) How much is she willing to sacrifice to build her family?

I asked this questions because at the age of 30 and counting, she doesnt really need to be pressurized before getting married. If she's got a good career, workplace and social corporate events are perfect. If she is not, university, college, workplace or church brothers are closer. Her neighbourhood is there if she is pretty. Family friends referral is there if her character is sound. loads of avenues to meet men.

My honest take is, she needs to first fight the demon within her. You need to check and judge yourself. Have you been cocky, over-rated yourself? looking for a fully loaded guy? looking for a spotless guy you can use for public pose? Is your attitude worth sticking with?(i said this cuz no sane man will want to loose a decent lady.Trust me, Its not only about your choice, there choice of a woman too counts).

If you scaled through all this with no fault, then your next line of action should be DELIVERANCE from the spirit of hit & run

Freesia:

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"poster if you're serious about needing a husband, better get to stepping.

even non-naija women in other countries [including developed ones] arent singing this "im happy to be single" song. They're snapping up the naija guys as fast as they [the dudes] can get off the boat.

swallow your pride and re-evaluate your options.

if you have no plans to ever marry, that's different."

@Tpia
I like the fact that you keep it real all the time

For the fact that you are a female, God Bless You a million times. I envy your hubby.

Truth is, if she has got plans to marry, she has to play by the rules. Men too have options, they have wants, not just about you you you cus you are the lady. Career dey deceive dem, you go tay

Pride and Options are a major factor here. 80% positive(dats from my personal experience)

In the same boat with you love, let go and let God. Just put in prayer, leave it up to the Universe, just ask for what you want, you will always get it, but ask wisely.

blakbarbie:

In the same boat with you love, let go and let God. Just put in prayer, leave it up to the Universe, just ask for what you want, you will always get it, but ask wisely.

God sha?

You should be the last person mentioning God in your post.

With your boo-oobis seemingly asking to be let out of your koste onike, you dont have the locus standi to bring up God's name

Stranger,

Ki lo kan e?

Put your trust in God age is just a matter of number. I know someone that is over 36 years and she is getting married. Be faithful to God and don't sell yourself cheap. God has a plan for you all will be well!

fstranger your a slowpoke, take the girls photo down!

kmt

My sister I know how you feel but let me ask you one sincere question, are you not aiming too high or setting your goals  too far  making it very unrealistic. because ladies are funny some times you know like saying I want a rich guy, good looking, tall and maybe from a particular tribe.

If you don't put yourself in all these conditions no matter your looks you will find a man willing to marry you, and  together you build into the future because the truth be say no PERFECT couple it takes time to make things work.

God will provide for you.

@Meldrick @Madam Tpia and @tensor777

If you read @meadan's post without being judgmental you would discover that key elements were mentioned which was why it was considered one of the notable advises considering other post before it.

Reread it:- "improve your physical appearance every single day, In short, work on every aspect of your life"

Go back to the post, it's there. And it is a notable and sound advise.

Tell me what is wrong with Improving yourself every day and working on every aspect of your life every day as you walk towards your goal, marriage or any other thing?

tensor777:

You know what[b] Single Life [/b] Meldrick and Madam Tpia have given you the best advice thus far but for some odd reason you have rejected them and most bewilderingly accepted the advice of people that say you should continue as you are. Then why did you open this thread in the first place? Do you really want to get married or are you here just whining about the pressures friends and family are putting on you to get married.
Because first and foremost you must desire marriage yourself. Then next you need to position yourself to meet eligible bachelors. That is your sole responsibility inasmuch as you would have prayed and fasted to meet the right husband before going out. This means being caring, kind, respectful, and puttng a smile on your face as much as is possible.

@queensmith

What about the recommended resources you promised to post when
you do get back home?

soo sorry love im being lazy! tonight! i promise

Marriage is a continuum not a project,

@ Singlelife
I can detect from your replies that you'd be such a nice and courteous person in real life given how you reply to even some of the posts that have/leave a sour taste in the mouth
Regarding the subject matter, i think the major issue here was morelike misplacement of priorities when you were younger. Please i'm not saying that serving the Lord is not a good thing but you let that take the whole of your attention without realizing the effect on other aspects of your life.Even the same bible says there is time for everything, also i reckon with people advising you to go out and socialize.The story of Ruth in the bible makes an interesting read as she had to position her strategically in Boaz's farm to attract his attention(watch two things in this story-d advice to go out in the field of Boaz came from Naomi her MIL(older woman) secondly she advised to also dress to impress).
I have friends who are passing through this same experience and this is the advice i give as i was even in my midtwenties when i started getting pressures from my relatives particularly my mum. Now ,there are certain things /traits that matter so much to an individual in the most realistic and objective way.Do not compromise on character traits you cannot live with.
You asked questions on the kind of places to go to; go to movies, take yourself out, go to internet dating sites!(yes there is no harm so long as you do it with guided wisdom /common sense afterall d world is a global village now and people have hit gold mines on the internet,e-banking e.t.c)
In addition to all the advice given,learn to love yourself cos it is only then you can extend it to another person! In finality ,note that most good gifts don't come in the package we expect them to be in!
Wishing you the best while praying 4 u for d peace dt superceeds all understanding regardless of the storm!!!