₦airaland Forum

LadyT:
That was fantastic! SISI!

Thank you!

ayobase:
let the competition begins.
In or Out?

I am sooo in, I fear It's gonna lead me out.

Dear Seun,
As much as I hate to be one of those who rub other people’s mistakes in their faces, I can not pass up this opportunity because yours is waaaaay to big for me not to do any rubbing. Seun, my friend. . . You went about this contest in a wrong way, you see you did it the way a Good, Honest Guy will. Wrong! Wrong! Huge Mistake!. Don't feel bad though, this is called a beginner's Mistake and to ensure you don't fall into that pithole again, I am here to help you. 

Next time you decide to do a contest like this apply the following

1) All Participants MUST pay an entry fee – Now you are thinking “What? Is she in Sane?”.  Ah but I am not, my movie making friend, I am not . . . at least not this morning.  According to the [b]“Scammer’s Guide for Dummies”, [/b]this works wonders. It’s all psychology really, you see deep down, we all want to be part of something and the exlusivier it is the more our inner peacock feathers spread. ENRTY FEE gives the illusion that they are part of something special, people who can afford the fee now can look down at those who can’t and say “Hmphhh” and before you can say “Hells Bells”, your inbox will be flooded with Script and let’s not even talk about your bank account. . . I’ll just say “Kaaaaching! .

Your mistake, which I won’t really fault you for was making this a free for all, come Tom, come Dick, Come Harry and make sure you all bring your friends, their friends, and their friends friends kinda thing. ^{*Shakes head sadly*} This has got people going  “What the. . . me? A whole of me Unilag English graduate will be submitting something with some Shukuranatu from Ilu okoko weere, who barely made it out of Primary school? This guy is not serious, it must be a scam”. Everybody wants to feel special Seun, why won’t you make ‘em feel special? Why?!! 



2) All Participant must Pay a Reading Fee – "Whooooo, now she’s pushing it” That’s what you are thinking abi? I hope not oh because it means you did not digest rule #1. . . yep, this rule also ties into the “Special Feeling”. Participants see this and think “Reading fee, ke? Ah it must be a some extra-ordinary reader who will be reading my script” and then they feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I won’t go much into this because it is basically the same psyche as #1 at work here.



3) All Participants must submit HARD COPIES, Soft Copies will not be accepted – You don’t need to give a reason why soft copies won’t be accepted. . . quite frankly, there isn’t really a reason but they don’t know that. What they think instead is this all the hard work they have to do to submit a Hard Copy – Print, Bind, stuff into envelope, go to post office, stand in line, buy stamp, lick stamp, stamp envelop, mail envelope, walk back home. . . all this wahala instead of a simple click of the button helps them reconcile their Mental “Good Things Come from Hard Work” Account. . . do you get?


4) Make up a Mysterious Production Company – People know you! That’s it for this rule. Okay, Okay I will explain further, you know that Yoruba Proverb. . . .the one where they say something about it is at home people don’t respect person and outside something, something, yep that one. People read your contest and they go “This Seun? Abeg forget that one. When is the next Kola nut man coming by?” See, no respect for what you can do because they know you. Next Time, form a Company and if formation isn’t your forte, I’m here, I’ll help so sai so sai. Right off the top of my head. . . IMPOSTURE VITUAL STUDIOS, DE CEIT MEGA PRODUCTIONS, something with a good ring. What you are in this case is a liason between the company and the people. . . nothing more, nothing less. Don’t ever act like you are gaining from this, Nigerians don’t like that, some would forfeit a 2million contract if they know you are gonna get 10% of that. Don’t ask me why, it’s people tend to focus more on what someone else will gain from something instead of what they will gain.

Anyhoo, seeing as [b]“Scammers Guide For Dummies” [/b]isn’t a real book and I’m just making things on fly, I gotta stop now because the more I think about it, the more I believe I can actually turn to this into a real book and I don’t wanna give it all away. I ain’t no dummy.

Oh I forgot, just for the heck of it, add a few nonsensical rules like –

Scripts must be written on plain white paper (Duh!),
Scripts must be numbered (Double Duh),
Scripts must be written in English (Triple Duh!).

Since you are a good guy, I’m sure you are thinking “This is not right, I can’t do this, it’s almost fraudlike!” but Seun you gotta, that’s the only way to save yourself the hassle of being called a scammer, this is the only way people will take you seriously and seriously, don’t worry about being a lone ranger, you will be in good company.

Here’s a link to websites for Screenplay contests

http://www.google.com/Top/Arts/Writers_Resources/Contests/Screenwriting/

Please don't thank me, why are we here if we can't help one another? However if you insist, I've been trying to get my hands on The X-Files DVD for awhile now, so you can . . .  you know.

Sincerely,
Sisikill. 

Rotflmaopimp!

Seriously Seun, come and move this thread now? Haba, can't you see what it's causing?

Abi do I have to go the Naija route of bribing top officials to get things done?

Please hurry! For the sake of our great Nation.

Lmao. . . Yeah, okay. Didn't see the bigger picture before but now I know what's at stake here, I totally see it now, I do! I do!

Jeebus! Where is Seun ooooh! Abi How many times do I have to write proposal to move a small thread from book section to Poetry section?

Ah! I tire oh

StephenP:
Thanks but like I said before, I don't want no money for the story. . . it's free. You can go ahead and use the story if no one else writes anything (highly unlikely though).

Thank you for restoring my faith.

Honestly, thank you. Don't worry if you don't understand.

tpia:
is it just me, or are most of the literary efforts in this section, mainly about graphic sex?

hey, I'm not trying to douse anyone's fire here, but occasionally its okay to exercise and experiment with a wider variety of subject matter, imo.

Could also be related to the age demographic, I guess.

Lol, yeah sometimes it does seem that way I guess it's easier to write about it, since it's everywhere. Personally I prefer exploring the dark side of humanity. Speaking of dark side, this poem is actually about Murder but you know what, you have brought up an interesting point with the Sex aspect. . . it proves that there are indeed sexual elements to murder which means Nanaboi has done an amazing job.

Bravo! Nanaboi. . . well, I don't need to tell you I absolutely love it! Even moreso thanks to Tpia

I was hoping the thread will be moved by now so we can discuss it some more but it doesn't look like Seun or one of the Mods will get to it today, so what the hey. . . I say let's have it out right here, right now.

Will be back!

Rotflmao!!!

Chicken/King Kong - Nice use of of. . . can't remember the word again. Gah!!


You know that Chariots of Fire theme, ta ta na na ta ta na na na, it was the perfect backdrop to the scene.

Thanks alot for that image.


More! More! More!

Chaoga:
@Sisikill
You've done a great job, so you wrote all that for me? Probably you will be the winner of that 25,000 Naira if you start writing now

You really think I have a chance of winning? Do you? Really? Awwww, honestly, you are too kind! I'll get right on it and if Seun allows, I'll dedicate it to none other than YOU, mon ami. My Inspiration, my muse, the ink in my pen, the paper in my book, the. . . the erasing stuff in my eraser!

Thanks Luv.

Nanaboi
Goodness! I am more than honored that you'd seek my amatuer opinion on this, honestly. . . you have no idea and I'll be more than happy to give it, as soon as Seun or the mods move it to the poem section, that way some people's nerves will be calmed.

My God, one would think a donated organ has been misfiled and someone's life hangs on the balance with the reaction over a poem being posted on another part of the literature section. I was on the Romance section earlier and some guy started a thread on how he can't get his Pe/nis to go down, a topic clearly meant for the sexuality section and no one had a melt down. You know what else, the guy knew he was posting in the wrong place because he started off with "On the SEXUALITY thread, a guy was talking about. . . . " yet I did not see heads exploding over it.

I'm sure I need not tell you to ignore the put downs or mocking of your work. . . apart from the fact that it is just childish pettiness at play here, please also understand that OCD. . . no matter how weird the focus of the obsession, is still a disease. Some go nut if bathroom towels are not hung according to size, shapes and/or color, some freak out if they walk into a room and shoes aren't properly lined against the wall and according to sizes, and for others, it takes seeing a poem in the novel section to throw a wrench into their day. Like I said, OCD is OCD is OCD.

I'm going to flagged your thread and asked Seun to move it. . . hopefully he does it ASAP, I wouldn't want some innocent bystander's blood on both our hands should someone go on a rampage because this wasn't corrected as quickly as possible.