₦airaland Forum

Chaoga:
@ Sisikill
Who told you i am participating? I got my job.

@ Sisikill again, I am not sounding harsh but could be blunt sometimes.

Jeebus!!! Typical Naija Mindset at work here. Someone tries to help, the first thing you think is "What? He’s not requesting the tongue of my first born child in return! It's got to be a scam".

Why is that. . . I wonder? Is it because people are used to having to crawl on glass, walk on hot coals, lick and suck away on someone's shalanga water soaked shoes, give their right arm, leg and left ear as jara, sell their grandmothers and her friend is she happens to be visiting grandma that day . . . to get help? What. . . if someone isn't asking for a pint of your anemic blood then it's got to be fake, right?

Whoa! What a sad, sad, sad way to live life. . . I imagine it must be terribly bothersome to walk around all day with a butcher knife in your purse for quick chopping access, just incase you meet someone who is willing to help you in exchange for your pinky. . . the left one. Have I said what a sad way to live? Well it bears repeating. . . it is a sad, sad way to live.

Is there a possibility that ideas can be culled from script sent in? Abso-freaking-lutely! This, my skeptic-name calling friend is the risk attached to a Business like this. Every business has its risks and if we all sat back twiddling our thumbs because we’re oh so afraid of being used or losing then nothing will ever get done.

Nothing ventured, Nothing gained. . . you ever heard of that? Won’t be surprised if you haven’t, after all you are here with your job having self, telling people not to venture. I suppose it’s the innate need in the mediocre to try to convince others to join their club, I hear it makes ‘em feel better about themselves. So, I was going to ask you…why if you have no intention of submitting anything, do you care about this but I think I answered my question. . . the mediocre club joining thingy I mean.

Well best of luck in your little safe cocoon and make sure you don’t speak too loudly. . . you don’t know who is lurking ready to steal the words you utter and use it for their own personal gain. The rest of us will go out there and take risks, so at the end of the day. . . we don’t look back and kick ourselves for opportunities lost.

Oh man! Now I feel bad for all the things I’ve said. . . okay, I’ll give you something in return. You are allowed to come back here and tell us “I told you so”. . . that makes you smile doesn’t it? I knew it would! I hear people like you. . . people who are quick to discourage others from taking chances I mean, sure looooove to say “I told you so”. There you have it and listen, there’s no limit to how many times you can say it, okay? Have ya self a ball!!!

Hmmmm, where is the fine print?

I gotta read it first before I answer the question.

Chaoga:
Scammer!!!! So if thousands of nairalanders here write you the story, It's only one person you will give 25,000, what about others who cracked there brain to write you the story? they got nothing?? or what about those whose stories are not what you expect but almost, you will definitely make use of them, still they too get nothing? only the winner get the money
I go see how many people go fall for this sha!

Jeebus! A little harsh, no?

Here's a radical idea. . . If you don't want to participate - DON'T!!! Shocking? I know!!! It's amazing how many people don't know they can do that, that they have the power, that the choice is theirs.

StephenP:
Wow Sisi, you literary blew me away. Awesome story . . . hope that dude put a restraining order on your ass.

LMAO! I can assure you sir. . . I'll gladly drink a bottle of arsenic, wipe mouth and say "Hmmm, Yummy yum, more please" before I put myself in a situation where a guy has to get a restraining order on me. No Siree Bob!!

Thanks.

onyinye2:
Oh no questioning Sisi if you are the guy in her story too?

Hehehehe. . . that's right!

Life Changing Moment - The Storyteller Telleth

Every life is a story.

Every story has a beginning. Some stories start with “once upon a time” others start from the end and work backwards, some start off with a wise saying, some stories are told in rhythms and some in rhymes, some in units of time and some where time does not exist. No matter how they start, all stories need a storyteller.

Saturday May 10th 2006

6am
The loud, jarring ring didn’t wake her up; it was hard to be awoken if one was not asleep in the first place. She didn’t get off the bed, instead she waited. It took all she had but she waited, it seemed like forever but she waited. She wasn’t disappointed; her mom came to woke her. It was what she wanted, for her mother to help her start this glorious day, for her mother to be the first person she saw, just like when she was born. They hugged and cried and laughed and jumped. . . Well the daughter jumped with glee while the mother watched smiling. At her mother’s urging, she headed for the bathroom to get ready. Four years of hard work and she was finally graduating. 

The moment her life will change.

7:15am
She bounded down the stairs, her purse, shoes and graduation gown in her hands. She had less than 45 minutes to be get to school. All graduates were expected at 8. In the living room, she stopped; trying to make out which of the three guys sprawled on the living room floor was her brother. She smiled when she heard his snore, crossing over the other two. . .  a cousin and a friend, she shook him awake. It was time, she told him when he groaned that it was too early. After protesting for another 30 secs, he slowly got up. . . upset to be awoken so early or at least pretending to. She saw through him and laughed. He grinned, he could never be mad at her, especially not today. She looked stunning, he thought,  in the beautiful outfit she had bought two days ago, she glowed and his heart swelled, He was proud of her.  Even though he was three years younger than her 25, he always felt protective of her. She pulled him by the arm and led him to the garage. She got into the passenger’s side, he the driver’s side. They played the first to buckle up game their mother had taught them when they were kids. . . she won and he grouse that her win was unfair, he wasn’t  fully awake, thus not on his A game, she scoffed and wished him better luck next time. 10 mins later they were driving on the highway, hip hop blasting, and both singing along.

8:05
She ran into the hall to find her friends and classmates. There were shouts and whoops, crying and laughing, hugs and pats, there was joy, happiness. . . all adding up to a very bittersweet moment. They listened as professors, Deans and chancellors give their little pep talks, advice and warnings. They tried not to laugh when the president, known to stutter when emotions got the better of him, attempted to sing the School song, they awwwed when his wife joined him.

9:45am
15 mins until the ceremony began, excitement was in the air. They all line up according to their various departments. Some stretched their necks to see if their family was already seated in the hall, she didn’t have to. She had seen her brother looking spiffy in his suit. . . she’d tease him about that later, leading their mother, grandmother and various family members to their assigned seats. She had waved even though she knew he probably won’t tell her apart from all the other graduates.

11:00am
After half listening to the four long boring speeches, the moment came. The moment they called each graduate by name and family members watched with pride as they walked up the stage shook the hands of the dean, the president and the diploma presenters. Her turn came and she tried not to laugh out loud when she heard her brother shouting at the top of his voice. After receiving her diploma, she turned to face the audience; she saw her mom, her aunt and grandma wiping tears, her uncle waving behind the camera he held, her brother, her boyfriend, her cousin and a family friend doing the human wave. This time, she didn’t hold back, she laughed out loud, waved at them with her diploma as she walked up off the stage.

12pm
She stood between her mother and grandmother, holding bouquets of flowers and balloons with “Congratulations Graduate” printed on them as her uncle took pictures. She took pictures with her boyfriend, she took pictures with her friends, she took pictures with her brother, the camera caught them in a moment where he grabbed her graduation hat donned it and she looked up at him, her mouth open.

2:30pm
The restaurant was a beehive of activity. Family and friends joined in celebration, excitement was in the air. She flittered from one table to the other receiving congratulations, prayers and well wishes. She ate off other people’s plate and drank from her boyfriend’s cup. She played food tennis with her brother and apologized when her mother admonished.  She sought privacy in the bathroom, when she spoke to her father on the phone, he was sorry he couldn’t be there. . . she understood, divorce and location distanced them.  She smiled when she stepped out of the bathroom to find her boyfriend waiting for her. He opened his arms and she went into them, over his shoulder she saw her brother, she wiggled her fingers to let him know she was fine. He nodded and left them alone.


7pm
She walked down the stairs, this time in Jeans and a blouse. They had celebrated with the grownups, now it was time to have young people’s fun. She went to the living room to find her mother, grandmother and aunts chatting while music played in the background. She joined them, sitting on the arms of her mother’s chair. She laughed indulgently when her grandmother told her it was time for marriage and baby and high-fived her aunt when she scoffed and said no, it was time to travel and see the world. She kissed her mother on the cheek when she heard her boyfriend call that it was time to go.

10pm
Seven of them walked into the club, they had just come from eating dinner at the most expensive restaurant downtown. The price of dinner added up to 3 months salary of a minimum wager but they didn’t care because it was worth it. Now it was time to burn it all off on the dance floor. She did the cha cha slide, she did the electric slide, she did the Macarena, she did the jig, she did the chicken dance; she did the grasshopper hop. She slowed dance with her boyfriend and hid her face in his neck when he told her how much he loved her and how proud he was of her. She kicked it gangstar style with her brother and punched playfully when he told her she danced just like she threw. . . like a girl.

Sunday May 11th, 2006

3:45am

She was in accident that took her life and might send her brother to prison for a period no less than 7years.  Involuntary man slaughter was the charge, his crime drunk driving. The forensic experts said she lived for 3 minutes after being thrown out of the car, when it skidded, flipped over 3 times before hitting a tree.  3 people in the car, one died, 2 escaped unscathed, they had been wearing their seatbelts.
Her boyfriend saw it all happen from the car he was driving with the other clubbers. She was tired, she had told him in the parking lot of the club. . . she’d ride home with her brother instead of going with him to dropped their other friends at home. “See you in a few” she had called out after kissing him, just before getting into the back seat of her brother’s car.

5:05am
The loud jarring ring didn’t wake her up, it was hard to be awoken when one never went to sleep. She got off the bed and headed to the source. They stood out there, 2 cops and her daughter’s boyfriend. 
“We’re sorry Ma’am” they began
“She’s gone” the boy she already thought of as a son said before breaking down on the front steps of the house she had brought up her two children. 

This was the moment her life changed.

Every life is a story

Every story has an end. No matter how it starts, we always hope for a happy ending. As much as I’d like to give you one, I can’t because in this story isn’t mine to change, I am just the storyteller.

ibkaye:
@sisi
Na gode!

Yours is also cool too

Thanks

Tee hee, I had to modify my message!

LadyT:
You are gifted Sisi.

Thanks

onyinye2:
@Lady T

Gurlie, that was HOT!!!
I literally screamed when i read it was the guy's mother
I was like "NO wait Dont Do It"
Oh goodness i loved it.

I laughed out loud coz I tried to imagine what I would do, I'll just pretend that I am in a Drama class and they wanted us to act out a real life scenarios coz they wanted to see real emotions and I'll just bone my face and ask the waiter to bring me coffee.

Awww, Nagode Yarwa na!!!

Love your new siggy

Muji n Ki, ya na kiran ki.

Yana che ina mata na? Ina Ibkaye?

Tee hee hee, Thanks!

I've told all my siblings, my cousins, my friends, my. . . my everybody that the day they hear I tell a guy "Please I'll do whatever you want, tell me what you want" they have my permission to take me out back and shoot my brains out. LMAO! God forbid bad thing, I don't have what you want? Okay. . . better luck next time. Buh-bye!

Possessive Lover: Love Defined

“Tell me you love me”
“I love you”
“Say it like you mean it”
“I love you”
“Do you mean it?”
“I do”

The tears! Ye gods, the tears. . . hate the tears; can’t stand ‘em. I can’t understand the need for it. It’s just words, words are not supposed to have the same effect from like say getting hit with over the head with a baseball bat. . . well, maybe not a baseball bat over the head but something less death causing but painful.

I wait for the tears to stop. . . just ride it out I tell myself. It’s going to stop eventually, I mean, it has to, right? I’ve never heard of anyone crying none stop and I know that’s the kind of thing that will make headline, just like that girl from last year who couldn’t stop hiccupping, now that was just all sorts of weird!

The tears stop! Okay, I understand loving and being loved in return is special, I know there are people out there desperately searching for what I have. . . .believe me I do. I just don’t think if these people knew exactly what love does to you, they’d be seeking it out. Love makes. . . turns you into something. . . someone completely different. I imagine with love, it feels like an out of body experience, where you watching two people. . . you and the other person but it isn’t you because you are outside of it looking in and. . . and you don’t know you anymore because that’s not you. Ughhhh! Love makes you so fucking confused.

“What do want to do tonight?”
“I doesn’t matter. . . anything YOU want”

Do you see what I’m saying? Suddenly this adult person, who under normal circumstances should be making decisions, becomes the most indecisive person. Love makes you lose yourself.

“You know what. . . Let’s do something you want to do for a change”
“I don’t know. . . I’ll do whatever you pick”
“Jesus fuc. . . "
“What? Are you. . . are you mad at me?”
“I’m not. I’m not!” deep breath “I just want you. . . us to do something you’ll enjoy”
“But I enjoy doing anything you. . .
“No!” pause “Listen to me baby, I. . . never mind. I guess we’ll just stay in”

Now the feeling of guilt kicks in. . . you’ve done something to upset the other person. You don’t mean to but guess whatit happens. That’s another thing about love, no matter what you do, people still get hurt. There is this carefulness, walking on egg shells around the other person that I find really annoying.

“I love you so much! I can’t imagine my life without you. I always ask myself how I managed all those years not having you”
“We didn’t know each other all those yes”
“I know that! I’m just saying you are my world. How suddenly everything makes sense”
“Baby. . . I can’t be your. . . “
“But you are! Sometimes, I lie awake watching you sleep, your chest going up and down and your heart pumping away, the source of your life and I wish I was in you. . . your heart.”

Okay I don’t need to tell you how bleeped up that sounds right? You have to be really bleeped in the head not to see how sick that is. . . but wrapped up in love, it comes out sweet, doesn’t it? All hail the power of love.


“Baby, don’t say things like that”
“But it’s true. You know what else I wish for?”
“Wha. . . What?”
“Sometimes I wish everyone around us will just disappear. My friends, your friends, our parent, everyone”
“Wh. . . why would you want them to disappear?”
“So we can be alone together, no one to interrupt us. I hate it when you have to leave. I can’t bear for you to be out of my sight. You know when you’re not with me, I almost feel like. . . like I can’t breath.”
“You can’t brea. . . “
“That’s why I follow you”
“What?!!”
“Yeah, I drive behind you. Like, yesterday when you. . .
“You followed. . . you follow me?
“Yeah. . .”
“Are you fucking cra. . . Why would you do that?”
“I love you”

Love it makes okay to say sick bullshit, it justifies wrongest of all wrongs

“ I. . . I don’t think I can do this anymore”
“Do what?
“This. . . this whole thing. Do you hear yourself? Do you know how bleeped up you sound?”
“I. . . I don’t understand”

No surprise there! In addition to becoming a mindless zombie, acting like a brainless brat, Love makes the simplest things sound like advanced Physics.

“Tell me what you mean”

Advance, Advanced Physics

“This makes no sense to me”

Super, Duper Advanced Physics.

“I’m saying it’s over”
“No!”

Oh God, here comes the tears. . . at least this time there is a valid reason for it.

“I’m sorry”
“You just said you loved me! You said it right here. . . “
“I can’t . .”
“Tell me what to do. I can change. I will change. I will be anything you want me to be, just don’t leave me please!”

Alright, let’s pause for a moment and think this through. From the moment you are born, your goal is to be your own person. That’s why when you were 2, you screamed “No, I’ll do it myself” at your mother when she tried to correct the shoes you wore wrongly. It’s why at 10, you made sure your dad added an extra headlight on the roof of the cardboard car he built for you. Sure, it made no sense but you stood your ground “This is what I want daddy” you asserted when he tried to change your mind. Remember the college decision? The ‘rents wanted you to go their Alma Mata but you wanted something else and you fought for it. Every single decision, every single step was leading to the moment when you can finally stand tall and proudly declare “I am my own person”. . . .then you fall in love and everything else goes poof! How lovely love is, don’t you agree?

“I do anything for you. Is there someone else?”
“No! This has nothing to. . . let go of me!”
“Please, baby please. . . I’ll die without you”
“Stop it! Just stop it!
“I’ll be anything for you, just tell me what, Please! I love you! We’re meant to be together forever. We are soul mates, you belong to me”
“Jesus! Let go of me! You are fucking INSANE!”

And there it is. . . Love defined! Love is insanity!

“Oh my God!”

I have to get out of this dark abyss or I’ll end up doing something. . . something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life.

“What have I done? What. . . What am I doing?!”

I release him immediately and take a step back, looking like someone coming back from an out the body experience. He grabs his shoes, socks shirts, pants. . . removing all the traces of himself from my life, obviously eager to get as far away as possible from the raving, possessive and jealous lunatic I have become. . . in the name of love.

“Stay the Bleep away from me or I’ll have you arrested” He walks out and slams the door.

Naked, I sit on the edge of the bed, my heart racing. . . he will never know what a huge favor he just did me.