₦airaland Forum

Hello Christiana

@Ynot


Good night

@Chika4real


A lot of times, the types of women who stay in these kinds of relationships for a long time are women who have no one to turn to and the man who batters them is all that they have. That man may not be worth anything but for now and for a long time he has been all that the woman knows. The man is like a negative addiction, he has been her way of life for a long time and so he has been a survival tool for this woman, he is all she knows In the battered womans mind, that is what she thinks and feels.

She is being physically, mentally and emotionally abused. She feels like she deserves it because the man tells her she is useless, ugly, fat etc. and no man in his right mind would want to be with her. This is what he wants the woman he batters to believe. You see, even though he beats her, he is the only man who is stupid enough to be with her, this is what he metally conveys to the woman he batters.

For a woman who has no family or close friends to turn to for help, she can really begin to believe that all this man say's is true and her self esteem will crumble. Women like this will only accept outside help if someone steps in and offers them some hands on help like a place to stay, help with finding a job or relocating to another job to stay away from the man who beats her. They will not accept outside help if they don't see the outside help as a for sure thing. In other words a for sure way out of the abusive relationship.

@Shango


What are you up to? I have been observing your nairaland activity so I see what you have been doing. I think you are looking for my picture, would that be correct?

@Reverand


How are you today?

Gemmie

I am 35 years old, i have a university degree and a job. I don't need anyone to hold my hand. I am in a position both financially and emotionally to raise a child on my own. However, I don't want my child to not know who its father is. I want to be able to tell the child who its father is and the circumstances.

We are both living in Korea at the moment and have been dating for a year.

What is going to happen in the future if the child goes looking for his father. My boyfriend is indicating that if his family and wife found out then he would be left with nothing, no family, no money etc (completely ousted from his village). Is this really what can happen. In my county people get divorced, move on, stay together through problems etc. they family sticks by them and supports them. He is indicating that this is impossible.

Who cares about the future, you only been dating this man for a year and already you are pregnant, you should have been concerned with the future before you spread your legs unprotected from disease and un planned pregnancy. It seems like you are more concerned with your boy friend telling the truth about his family disowning him because of you.

He is lying to you and he never truly cared for you in the first place. He played you of of some over seas convenient sex. If you want to have the baby, more than likely you will be raising it on your own. It seems though that you are the type that will tolerate continuing a relationship with this man although he already has a wife and children, as long as he acknowledges his child with you.

It's seems like you are mostly concerned with him taking a chance with losing his family behind you and the one year relationship you guys had. That will never happen, he is not going sacrifice his wife and family of many years for you and your baby. If you have the baby, get ready to be on your own. I also suggest you stop seeing this man if you intend to have him to yourself.

@Fynewaka


Do you feel guilty that she is your friends sister or that you know that you are sexually active with many women and you don't intend to settle down with your friends sister? Also, you know your friend knows about you and how many women you are with, you know he would not like a man like you taking advantage of his sister. Is this why you feel guilty? If you really want help with your guilt problem, let's be honest hear about what your guilt really stems from. The woman didn't seduce you, she could not make you do something you did not want to already do. She probably heard that you are good at what you do and she wanted to try you for her self? But getting back to your guilt, what do you really feel your guilt stems from?

@Cutedoc

Don't let go just yet. It sounds like to me, you really don't know what is going on with you and this girl. [b]A closed mouth will not get fed. [/b]You need to tell this girl you would like to have a talk with her. If she agrees to talk to you, you need to let her know how much you like her and you need to let her know that you have future intentions for her. Then you wait for her to respond. If she still acts casual about everything, then you ask her how she feels about you? Pay close attention to this girl during conversation, she seems hard to figure out. From your description of this girls attitude, she sounds like either she is the type to wait for a man to come after her or she is the type that does not have a clue when someone really likes her. Either way, you won't know unless you ask.

If you don't ask, you will be stuck wondering.

If you do ask, at least you will know the outcome and then you can move on with life.

What could be worse, to never know or to know and then have an idea about what to do next?