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Business / Re: What Is The Exchange Rate For Payoneer Card ATM Withdrawal This Jan 2018 by Sokere8: 11:38am On Oct 31, 2018
What is the rate for withdrawing pounds...
Romance / Eleven Reasons Why He Hasn't Proposed To You by Sokere8: 3:25pm On Nov 04, 2017
You get along well, you feel there is something between you and you could be more than just friends. And yet he has not asked you to go out with him. You love him and can't wait to be his girlfriend. Would you like to know why he still keeps you on the friends zone despite being single?

Here are the top 10 reasons why men do not take the first step!

1) He's waiting for YOU to take the first step

He may like you a lot but be shy, introverted or scared to tell you anything. Maybe he does not know how to approach you. It is also possible (do not laugh) that he never invited a woman to go out with him. Whenever you're near him, he hopes you grab him by his tie and kiss him savagely.

2) He does not want to propose until he's absolutely, 100% sure you'll say yes

He restrains himself until he has received enough signs from you to assure him that you will say yes. He's the kind of guy who dissects and analyzes all the things you say and do. What did you mean when you said "you should go eat"? "What if someone like me asked you out would you accept?"

3) He is afraid of ruining your friendship

You are good friends, and he is afraid that by asking you to go out with him, he might ruin everything that is between you.

4) He is coming out of a serious relationship

He adores you, but there are rivers of melancholy flowing in his veins. This type of guy is still recovering from his last relationship and he is not yet ready to retry the adventure with another. Give him time to heal.

5) He's not sure he wants to go out with you

He knows you like him, but he has not decided yet whether he really wants to go out with you. He's the guy who gives you the impression that everything is fine with you and that things will change soon ... then he disappears. For one reason or another, it's hard to know if he wants to go out with you.

Continue reading @
Jobs/Vacancies / List Of Successful Youwin Connect Applicants by Sokere8: 4:41pm On Oct 25, 2017
YouWiN! Connect is a multimedia enterprise education initiative of the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) which aims to support young entrepreneurs as they PLAN, START and GROW their businesses. YouWiN! Connect seeks to promote entrepreneurship as a viable career option for young Nigerians which in turn will create wealth and job.

The three(3) central objectives of the program is to:

1)Yearly capacity building of 55,500 budding young entrepreneurs.
2)Nuture ideas and innovation from young entrepreneurial participants from Universities, Polytechnics, Technical colleges, and other post-Secondary institutions in Nigeria.
3)Increase firm growth by 20% and employment by participating MSMEs in Nigeria
4)Target growth in the Agriculture/Agro-processing, Construction, ICT, Fashion, Manufacturing and Retail sectors
5)Encourage expansion, specialization and spin-offs of existing businesses in Nigeria
6)Enable young entrepreneurs to access a wide business professional network and improve their visibility

YouWin connect list of successful applicants has been uploaded on our website. If you applied, you can check for your name on YouWin connect list. If you didn’t but know someone who did, you can check for their names on the YouWin connect list. Check for your name by clicking on the file bearing your region.

Click here to see the list
Jobs/Vacancies / Graduate Accountant Vacancy At Ventoven- Apply Now by Sokere8: 1:59pm On Oct 12, 2017
Ventoven is a shared services employer, centered on supplying tremendous Human aid services, Procurement, IT guide and Accounting offerings.
We are recruiting to fill the position below:

Job Position: Accountant

Job Location: Abuja

Job Description

We are looking to engage an enthusiastic and detailed oriented Accountant who will be responsible for providing timely, proactive and relevant financial and accounts support to his/her direct line manager and within the organization. He/She will also be responsible for;

Preparation of monthly payroll
Mailing of Monthly Payslips
Preparation of General Journals
Carry out monthly Bank reconciliation
Reconcile all Current Accounts between Companies
Enter adjusting entries as may be approved by the supervisor.
Create a database with appropriate description of all monthly bank statements for ease of access
Reconciliation of Receipts issued with Invoices
Carry out daily posting of all transactions into the ledger
Back up General Ledger
Extract debtors accounts and initiate monthly circularisation of debtors
Maintain shelves where files are kept on monthly basis and arranged according to Bank and cash and other purposes to aid easy retrieval and replacement, and carry out regular review of the filing systems (both physical and electronic) for decency, rearranging the files where necessary
Assist in the preparation of monthly and annual financial reports
Reconcile information in the Payroll Ledger with that of HR.
See Also :Customer Care Representative Needed at Juan Industries

Skills & Requirements

0-3 Years relevant experience
A Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting, Commerce or any other business related fields from a reputable tertiary institution.
Other relevant postgraduate degree or professional certification will be an advantage.
Affiliation of relevant profession bodies will also be an added advantage.
Knowledge Skills & Experience:

Excellent understanding of accounting best practices – with experience in a Petty cash Management.
Knowledge and experience of corporate culture
Must have the ability to act quickly and pragmatically under pressure to priorities and resolve issues.
Strong business ethics and high level of integrity.

Functional Competencies:

Outstanding competencies in using Microsoft Word, Excel and Power Point.
Knowledge and experience in Accounts and Accounting.
Must be highly organized with extraordinary attention to detail.
Must demonstrate ability to work excellently with minimal supervision.

To apply visit http://www.kepvine.com/graduate-accountant-vacancy-at-ventoven-apply-now/
Business / How To Make A Minimum Of 100K In A Day Just By Using Your Phone by Sokere8: 4:08pm On Oct 04, 2017
Are you among those seeking for a legit means to make money? When I say money I mean quick, easy and stressless money. If you are , then I think you are very privileged to be reading this timely post.

Internet business is the fastest growing business in this century. Did you know that some internet marketers make over a million naira daily from Google, Facebook, Instagram and many other platforms. Meanwhile, you could be among the ignorant ones who just visit the internet with your little data and leave penniless when you have exhausted your data.

Be wise! Wake up from your sleep and slumber and top up your earnings just by spending few hours with your phone. Before I tell you how you can make easy money I would first mention three things that can prevent you from benefiting from this opportunity. They are;

Unbelief :
Yes! We live in a part of the world where so many people have been possessed with an evil spirit called unbelief. For some, even when you show them a proof, they will still doubt you. Check out those people who doubt alot, they are usually poor. Yes! The worst part is even when they have nothing to lose, they would still doubt. Unfortunately, some of them wake up to the truth when it's too late. That shouldn't be your case.

Previous Bad Experience :
Holding on to previous bad experiences can make you tag every new opportunity as bad. Yes! You may have been scammed online before but my dear, if you give up or you decide to say everything online business is a scam, then you might end up preventing yourself from achieving success. Always be willing to try again and again. That's the achievers attitude

Laziness :
Online business pays real good but I must tell you that it is not for lazy people. If you are lazy you will end up getting peanuts as earnings but if you are hardworking, you will end up getting uncountable bank alerts. If I may ask you, what has laziness benefited you so far? Nothing right?

The aim of this post is to introduce you to a website that pays you just for typing in numbers. Yes! Although, there many websites that you would work for but at the end of the day, your money would just be accumulated in their system without you being able to cash out. I know of those sites. But this particular website pays you instantly as soon as you reach your target. Yes!!

Let me give you three reasons why you need to get over your doubts , believe it's real and give it a try.

1)First, you are not going to invest a dine. Yes! Your one kobo won't enter the system instead you stand a chance of getting hundreds of thousands if you invest your time to work for it.

2) Withdrawing your money is very easy as you can either receive via western union, Pay Pal, your bank account or your bitcoin wallet.

3) All you have to do is sign up to the website, and start earning from typing four digits numbers that appear on your dashboard.

4)You don't need a laptop, with your phone, you are good to go. As soon as you earn up to $150 which is possible in few hours, then you are eligible to click on the "Withdraw button " Then just like "magic"you will get the credit alert that would make you smile.

Continue reading
Jobs/Vacancies / Employment Vacancy you don't want to miss. Apply Now! by Sokere8: 2:48pm On Sep 18, 2017
Akwa Ibom State College of Education, Afaha Nsit, established on 11th October, 1990 by the Military Governor, Wing Commander Idongesit Okon Nkanga. The Science and Technology oriented College of Education is affiliated to University of Uyo.

Are you a fresh graduate? Do you have a passion for lecturing? This could be an opportunity to get that dream job of yours. Applications are invited from suitably qualified candidates for the positions below:

Assistant Lecturer (Early Childhood Care Education)
Lecturer Assistant (Adult and Non-Formal Education)
Assistant Lecturer (Integrated Science)
Assistant Lecturer (Physical and Health Education)
Assistant Lecturer (Chemistry)
Lecturer Assistant (Technical Education)
Assistant Lecturer (Home Economics)
Assistant Lecturer (Curriculum and Teaching)
Assistant Lecturer (Educational Foundation)
Assistant Lecturer (Social Studies)
Lecturer Assistant (Economics)
Assistant Lecturer (Nigerian Languages)
Assistant Lecturer (English)

Location: Akwa Ibom
Specialization: Teaching
Industry: Education Services
Job Type: Fulltime
Candidates for the above post should possess at least a Second Class degree in the area of study and specialization as stated above and must show evidence of teaching qualification.

For application procedure, visit http://www.kepvine.com/graduate-assistant-lecturers-needed-apply-now/
Education / Secrets Of Post Utme Examination No One Has Ever Told You. by Sokere8: 6:14am On Sep 13, 2017
Did you write Jamb? Are you among those that just can’t wait to gain admission into the university? Have you written Post UTME or about to write? Whatever category you fall into, kindly read this post to the end and learn the secret of Post Utme.

1) Read and Study:
People always say that gaining admission into the university is based on having the right connection and for this reason, people with low scores gain admission while those with high scores are told to try again next year. This isn’t completely true. People with high scores still gain admission on merit basis. That is why you need to study very hard to get those scores. If your scores are far above the cut off mark, then your admission is certain. That’s a secret of Post Utme.

2) Revise:
Going to an examination hall without revising what you have read is not good as some things read might escape your memory. Take some time to revise with past questions. Meanwhile, I would like to state that some of the past questions and answers sold by those campus hustlers actually have wrong answers. So you should take your time to cross check the answers so you don’t end up stocking your brain with wrong answers. That’s the second secret of Post Utme.

3) Travelling:
My third secret of Post Utme is about the challenges one might face while traveling for the examination. Most of us had selected schools located in states far away from our homes. Meanwhile, you might not have any friend or relative staying in that state so getting a free accommodation becomes a problem. Due to distance and accommodation issues some persons had missed writing their examination.

Let me tell you how to handle this situation. If you would be travelling to a new state, ensure you travel at least two days before your exam day. Yes! In previous years, some persons who travelled the night to the exam day, were not able to meet up with the examination because they got stuck by traffic and couldn’t meet up the examination scheduled time.

Ensure to travel and arrive at the school premises before the exam day. You can take out time to familiarize with your exam hall location so you won’t be among those who would be stranded on the morning of the examination. Don’t get yourself into such mess.

4) Accommodation:
If you have money you can lodge in a close by hotel but if you don’t have then you need to be careful of where you would be spending the night especially the young gals. On arriving the campus premises, you would meet existing male students who would offer to accommodate you for a day or two. Those guys deceive young girls into staying with them. They end up raping and killing some of their victims. So no matter how smart you think you are, think twice before you accept a free accommodation offer from a stranger.

If you don’t have any friend or relative in that state, I would advise that you identify with a religious group and they would assist you in getting a place to stay. Also you can go to the school authorized hostels, and definitely you would see a place or two to lay your head over there.

Click here to continue reading

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Jobs/Vacancies / Goodnews For N-power Volunteers by Sokere8: 12:34am On Sep 04, 2017
N-Power 2016/2017 successful applicants, Rivers State branch, were surprised today as they finally received notifications regarding to their device collections. Prior to the notification, some volunteers had given up on ever getting this device. This is because they were made to wait for over nine months before its arrival.

Some of their counterparts in Lagos and Abuja had successfully collected their device last month while those in other states are patiently waiting for their turn. Note that this device is a customized computer device which would be used for training the N-Power volunteers. The main aim is to create an e-learning platform for every applicant.

Different brands of the computer device was made available. This include; Tecno, Samsung, Afrione, Floss signature and Brian Pads. In order to make the distribution easy, the volunteers were placed in two batches. Only those in the first batch have received text messages regarding to device collection. Meanwhile for other Rivers State volunteers yet to receive a collection notification, they have been advised to patiently wait for their turn.

For collection requirements, visit http://www.soniasblog.com/2017/09/goodnews-for-n-power-volunteers.html

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Jobs/Vacancies / Emotel Global Job Interview Dates by Sokere8: 4:37pm On Sep 03, 2017
This is to direct and inform the Rivers State shortlisted Emotel global applicants that their online screening exercise has been scheduled to commence on 14th of September and would run till 24 September, 2017.

All shortlisted applicants will have their TEST online at afrosky.com. The applicants are required to sign up at afrosky.com. Those who have not verified their names are also required to go to the afrosky.com to check their names if shortlisted or not. All shortlisted applicants will be contacted through mail or phone for their TEST.

You are advised to carefully read the instruction page on our website or call support line 07051775675 anytime.

Applicants are further advised in their own interest not to give any form of gratification or inducement to any person or group of persons to assist them on this Empowerment Scheme. Everything is free of charge, and we do not request applicants to pay any fee, nor instructing any group or individual to request for any fee from our applicants for any reason.

In line with this directive, all applicants are expected to embark on the partner website, afrosky.com where further information and directive will be circulated. We only cancel usage of facebook due to numbers of frauds on this purposes. Applicants should be wise and not to provide their details to anyone requesting them that they will talk to us on their behalf. We are available on phone and to answer all questions with our account (Emotel Global Oil Ltd) on Afrosky.co

For guidance on how to follow the interview process visit
Education / Re: I Passed Through Hell Fire To Become a Medical Doctor by Sokere8: 9:22pm On Aug 26, 2017
People like you would recognize lies to be truth and vice versa. If you don't have anything to say why not scroll and pass than to comment.
Education / I Passed Through Hell Fire To Become a Medical Doctor by Sokere8: 3:13pm On Aug 26, 2017
My name is Dr Ewere Thompson Nosa. I am from the Southern part of Nigeria. I woke up this morning feeling fresh and blessed. I was reminiscing on how I got to this point in life. This is the same guy that was suicidal some years back. Looking at how far I have gone I felt like sharing the story of my life. I hope you get inspired after reading.

Growing up as a child, I was passionate about going to the university. I had dreams of becoming a medical doctor so while in high school, I just couldn’t wait to get done and move to the university. I can recall that when I told my friends back then that I wanted to be a medical doctor, they had laughed at me. As a child, I knew that to become a medical doctor I needed to be intelligent and financially buoyant. Well, I was intelligent and for the finance, I believed my dad was capable of sponsoring me.

Unfortunately, in 2009 after I had completed high school, I lost my precious dad to the cold hands of death. His death was a big blow to my family as everything changed. Yes! Things became really tough for us. I had written JAMB same year so while waiting for an admission into the university, I started up a little shop on the streets where I was repairing phones. Being young, I faced a lot of reproach, rejection and bullying from the streets hoodlums. Sometimes, they would beat me up and collect my money. I can remember a day that some cultist beat me up at my work place because I didn't fix their phone to their specification.

I also faced a lot of disappointments even from my loved ones. Well, that same year, I was fortunate to be granted an admission to study Medicine and Surgery in the University of Port Harcourt. When I received my offer letter I was overjoyed. But when I remembered that I had lost my dad who was supposed to pay my fees, I started crying. Well, God actually provided my fees and I was able to move to school.

I started my first year in medical school in January 2010. I had to travel over 1000 kilometres to Rivers State. A place I knew no one. I got to Uniport without having a place to lay my head and I wasn't having enough money to rent an apartment off campus. Meanwhile the school’s hostel allocation list was yet to be released. So I formed a team with my dear friend, Edafe, and guess what we did? We broke into one of the locked hostels and started staying there.

A week later some guys who once resided there came back from holidays. When they saw us there, they threw away our belongings and sent us back to the streets. I had to separate from Edafe for a while just to look for another place to stay. I begged several persons to accommodate me but none accepted. Later on I met a good Samaritan who accepted to help. He only accepted to keep my luggage while I looked for somewhere else to sleep.

I was happy anyways. So I decided to be sleeping in class rooms. I used to keep my paste, tooth brush, powder, small towel, sponge and soap all in my school bag. In the morning I would go to the nearby hostel to freshen up before going to my friend’s hostel to dress up.

I did this for about 2 weeks until one day the good guy asked me to remove my big bag because it was occupying a considerable portion of his small cubicle. That was how I moved out not knowing where I was taking my luggage to.

I met a senior colleague of mine, when he saw me he was surprised that I had emaciated within few weeks of school resumption. I narrated my challenges to him so he accepted to keep my luggage in his hostel. He even offered to allow me sleep in his cubicle, I was so delighted.

Unfortunately his younger brother who stayed in the same small room with him was not happy to receive me in. I didn’t blame him though as the place was too small for 3 persons to occupy. I begged them to help me keep my luggage then I was sleeping in the classroom.

Two weeks later, they released a list of students that were allocated bed space. Guess what? My name wasn’t among because I wasn’t an indigene. I was so disappointed. With my last cash I had to buy a bed space from one Man O War guy. After which I felt my loitering phase was over. But do you know what happened thereafter? When I was about moving in, I found out the bed space was actually sold to two persons. When I and Edafe confronted the guy who sold the bed space to us, he stood up against us and even beat us up.

We were so helpless. We couldn’t fight back. Who were we to fight a Man O War guy? We were nobody. Meanwhile, the second guy that bought the bed space was another tyrant. In order to avoid having issues with him I decided to sleep and live in the classrooms in Abuja campus while my luggage was kept in that hostel. It wasn't easy as I spent the whole of my first year sleeping and living in classrooms. I had to endure the cold weather and the mosquitoes bites.

Click here to read my full experience in my journey to becoming a medical doctor.

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Romance / How To Identify True Love by Sokere8: 9:08am On Aug 25, 2017
What is love? Love is a choice to commit to helping, respecting and caring for another. Love is willingly taking up a responsibility to love, cherish and sacrifice selflessly for the betterment of another person not minding if the person deserves it or not.  It is an everlasting commitment.                

Lust on the other hand, is a thought or a strong feeling you conceive to do something immoral.  It is a desire to benefit from the other person. It is usually propelled by what we see or perceive about the individual. This could be the beauty, intelligence, character, abilities, status quo, or money.

Below are some contrasting features between love and lust.

1. Lust is ignited with the flames of sexual passion. It burns off and dies as soon as it is gratified. When it speaks, it focuses on sensuality, carnality and worldly passion. However, love can't be burnt by fire instead it glows in it. Unlike lust, love language only edifies and improves life.

2. Lust is impatient and could lead to premarital or extramarital sex. I know of a married man who cheated on his wife with the reason that she just gave birth and couldn't have sex with him. Meanwhile he wasn't ready to wait for her recovery so he used his ex girlfriend to relieve his urge at that time. He was caught and the marriage was ruined. But love is patient and respects vows of commitment.

3. Lust can thrive for long but cannot sufficiently build a long lasting relationship. However, true love is the best foundation for any successful relationship once it’s exclusively mutual.

4. Lust deafens and blinds you to the possible consequences of your actions. It separates you from God and isolates you from good friends. Love makes your life better, it makes you get closer to God and help you build meaningful relationship amongst friends, families and associates.

5. Lust makes you confused and indecisive “I love him but he beats me”, “I love him, I don’t want to lose him but he’s harsh, rude, proud and so on”. That's confusion. It affects your sense of judgment and you will end up making mistakes.

6. You lose NOTHING in love even if the relationship doesn’t lead to marriage but in lust, you lose either something or many things. When lust is over you  feel USED by the other person.

Continue reading here >>>


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Romance / Re: 'okibe Olivia Aborted My Child'- Husband To Lady Who Regreted Her Marriage Speak by Sokere8: 11:17am On Aug 23, 2017
"electronic money? " chei!! Meaning say na atm d guy be so I need to slot in my card to withdraw
Family / Diary Of An Abused Woman. by Sokere8: 11:05am On Aug 23, 2017
My name is Mrs Cecelia, I am in my early fifties. I have been married for 3 decades and I would like to share my marriage experience so far.

As a teenager I had lots of hope and dreams about how my marriage would be. I had wished for a fairy tale love story with a happy ending but my love story was different from what I had wanted.

I grew up from a lovely home where my dad loved and adorned my mum and his kids. He could sacrifice anything for us. My mum was a petty trader while my dad was a shoe maker.  He was hardworking and never neglected his responsibilities. Back in the 70s he had trained us with his meagre income. My dad was the perfect example of the kind of man I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I got a husband who was completely opposite.

When I brought the man I married to our house, my family refused to accept him. They told me that men from my husband's tribe are wicked, selfish and don't care for their families. They begged me not to marry him but I didn't listen. My husband had portrayed to be caring, loving and humble but all that was before I married him. The truth is if I could have another chance I would prefer to be single than to be in this kind of marriage.

How did it all start?

I attended college in a different state. While in school, I concentrated on my academics and never had a lover. When I was 24 years, I met this guy, Philip, who was from that locality where I schooled. I can’t even recall how I fell for him. He was my first love and the feelings were intense. 

They say “love is blind” but blind love can actually ruin a person’s life. Philip wasn’t educated nor rich. He had no secured job nor a house. He was just managing with unskilled jobs. When we started dating, my love for him made me to start fending for his needs. While he was a bachelor he would ask me for money for his feeding and I didn't mind assisting him. I was believing that things would change. But guess what? I have been providing for him for over 20 years now.

Financial Issues:

After we got married we were fortunate to get a job in the ministry. My salary was higher than his and this made him abandon every family responsibility to me. At month end he would spend up all his earnings and resort to begging me money for his transportation to work. I was taking care of the feeding, clothing, shelter and education of my 5 children.

For all my kids, he never assisted me during pregnancy neither was he around during their delivery. He always fixed his travel to the village during my delivery week just so he won't be available to pay the hospital bills. Buying baby's diapers and food was a problem. We would have to fight before he brings out the money. So each time I didn't have strength for a fight, I wouldn't bother asking for money for baby's food.

Like I said earlier he spends up his salary before month end so he would always borrow from me. It got to a point that he insisted that I must submit my salary to him every month end. I accepted in order for peace to reign but peace didn't reign.

Each time I needed money from my salary, I would have to give a detailed explanation of what I needed the money for before a dine was given to me. The worst part was that he was using my money to drink and womanize so before a month ends there would be no money left and we would have to struggle to feed.

In order to survive, I started doing petty trading. I sold meat pie, cake, sweets etc. My kids were also hawking on the streets after school just so we could provide our daily bread.

Trust Issues:

Although my husband was the first man I lay with, he still found it difficult to trust me. On several occasions I was accused of unfaithfulness. He was fond of cooking up stories against me. He accused me of dating my colleagues, pastors, church members and every other person. On several occasions after getting me pregnant he would deny being responsible.

The reason why he was always accusing me was because he was a chronic cheat. He cheated with every woman he met. Ranging from our neighbors, his colleagues, clients, married and single women.

He would bring those women to our house each time I was away to work. I caught him severally and fought with him but he never changed. Instead he became worse by the day. It got to a point that I didn’t care anymore. As my kids started growing up he stopped bringing the women to our house but took them to other places.

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Religion / Journey To An Unknown Destination by Sokere8: 8:10pm On Aug 21, 2017
Chichi woke up that morning and prepared to travel to her home town. Her father had just finished building a lovely house for all his children so he invited them to come and see the mansion.

That morning she and her siblings boarded a bus which was going to their home town. The first few hours of the journey were smooth not until they entered a path of gallops and potholes. All the passengers started complaining and laying curses on the government for the bad road.
Amidst their complaints they saw a road sign board in front stating “To avoid the gallops and potholes, take the diversion on your right.” A peep into this new route, the road was well-constructed, no sight of gallops and it looked so beautiful. Although neither passengers nor driver knew where the route would lead to but instead of traveling on the known path that has all the gallops and potholes, they decided to join the beautiful unknown route. 

After covering a distance of 359 kms they were yet to see a building nor any returning vehicle. Later, they saw a building in front, felt happy and hoped to see someone they would ask for a direction.
Unfortunately, when they got to that spot some strange men attacked them, took away all their belongings and their bus. They left all the passengers stranded and helpless on the road. 

While they were there, a lady walked passed them, when they tried to ask her a question, she couldn’t understand them because she spoke a different language.

After sitting on the road for a long while with no sight of a helper, they all decided to start trekking forward. Finally, they reached an odd-looking town. Some of the people living there had a very cheerful look while others had a worrisome look.

One unique thing about this place was the abundance of beautiful houses, cars, clothes and plenty of food. Drinking and dancing was the norm. Everyone living there acted so busy with one assignment or the other. On arrival, some of the passengers became so distracted with what they saw and decided to settle there. They joined the people of the town to have fun and forgot they were going somewhere else.

The town was ruled by a bad king who frequently killed his people and condemned their soul. All the glittering things there were fake and alongside its inhabitants, the town was set to be destroyed someday. 

Unlike others, Chichi persevered in finding a way back to the former path. She constantly envisaged the mansion her dad built and knew it was better than what she saw in that town. One day she met an angel who took her by the hand and directed her back to the previous track. So she continued her journey to her hometown. When she arrived, a great host of men welcomed and congratulated her for making it. 

This fiction depicts the life of man. God made man and put him on a path that was supposed to take him to paradise but the deceitfulness of the devil made him sin and brought him onto a different path.

Many people live their life not knowing where they are headed, some have lost focus of their destination, while others have settled down for the sweet food and pleasures in the city. The enemy’s plan is to prevent them from seeing their mansion in heaven. He also hinders them from fulfilling their predestined responsibility.

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Romance / Even With My Cute Looks, She Still Said "No" by Sokere8: 1:56pm On Aug 18, 2017
One of the desires of humans is to be accepted, especially when such adds something positive to one’s life. The feeling is exceptionally daring and comforting. Thus, it will be okay to make a conclusion that rejection is dreadfully despised by people who tend to be rejected in one way or the other.

A common similarity amongst humans in regards to rejection is this; both the poor, rich, beautiful, and successful people have, and still encounter rejection in one way or the other. In fact rejection is encouraged to be embraced as a positive feedback in areas of inventories, marketing, art, and other profession as contrary to the view that it is a negative reaction. It is said to be a great part of the heroic story of great men all over the world.

Just like any other person, I have had my share of rejection. I was rejected on three consecutive times when I applied for an admission into college. At some point I'd concluded that no school was going to accept me or maybe I was a failure, but the score sheets were my only consolation. Mama's words encouraged me and in the fourth year I had offers from four colleges that I had to make a choice. After graduation getting a good job was yet another adventure that only with time, determination and resilience did I surmount.

I was also rejected in relationship as my best friend in college suddenly cut off our communication without any explanation. I felt bad because at least I deserved an explanation to know if I'd offended her, it was my first experience so taking it to heart was the thing to do. Yes it didn’t save a thorn, she left without a reason.

Rejection, whether in relationship, at work, by family, acquaintances, friends, strangers or any other field, is something that either make us or break us as emotional being. The way we approach it determines greatly our smiles or frown. Although it comes with an unpleasant feeling that could seem insurmountable, but as a champion you should not let it get to you.

How do you handle a rejection? The reality is that rejection is part of life. There will be times when your applications for a position, your request for a leave, your ideas for change, request for assistance, or your love will be rejected by someone somewhere. It is better that you accept this rejection as a part of life and learn how to bounce back and try again.

Facts about Rejection
1) Rejection will make you feel bitter and sad for a while. This is because you are a human being with emotions.

2) Sometimes being rejected does not mean you are not good enough, but rather that the person has not noticed what you have to offer.

3) Being rejected gives you more time to improve yourself and explore all the options that will come to you. Rejection usually opens better doors and opportunities for a person on the long run.

Steps in Handling Rejection

1) Take a deep breath and accept that you were rejected. Inner peace begins the moment you decide not to let another person or event control your emotions. Yes! You were jilted. Your proposal was refused. No big deal! It’s part of life so accept it in good faith.

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Religion / Will You Wait Or Rush? by Sokere8: 6:06pm On Aug 15, 2017
One of the most challenging decisions in life is deciding to wait for anything you desperately need. 

In some cases, there are no shortcuts to getting what we need so we just have to wait till whenever it gets to our turn. But in other cases there could be an alternative means to getting it faster.

These alternatives are sometimes  not morally acceptable but impatient people still go for it since it takes them to their desired destination.      

Some of the things one could wait for in life are; success, promotion, marriage, children, good job, health, miracle, etc. The devil loves it when we are in waiting period, so he could come and give us counterfeit alternatives which when we accept, it could end up ruining our lives and relationship with God.

Today,  I will like to share the story of a young woman named Jessica who ruined her marriage due to impatience.

Jessica was fortunate to be married to a cute and loving husband, named Fred. They both got married immediately she graduated from the university. The joy of the marriage was intact not until after two years of no child bearing. Suddenly people started gossiping and questions started rolling in.

Although Fred wasn’t bothered but his wife became excessively  worried about their inability to have a child. She ran series of tests and was told her womb was perfectly okay.  While she was busy worrying over becoming a mother, the devil came and gave her an idea.

During her school days she dated one playboy called Charles. Although she loved him, she had left him to marry her husband when she realized he wasn’t a husband material. Two years after her marriage she decided to call him.

“Hello! It’s me Jessica” She said

“Jessica? Sorry I don’t remember u “ He replied from the other end

“The Jessica you dated in school, have you forgotten her so soon?”

“ Is it the one that got married some years back?” He asked

“Exactly! So how are you doing?’  She asked

They both discussed for a long period  then booked to meet up that weekend. When it was weekend, she lied to her husband that she was going for a church retreat to pray and fast for God’s blessings. 

Her husband permitted her then off she went to see her ex-lover. It was a fun and sex filled weekend for her so when it was Sunday she felt like not going back home but she just had to.

One month down the lane, she was pregnant. Yea! Pregnant with her ex lover’s child. She rushed to her husband and broke the news and he was so happy thinking he was going to be a father. 

Nine months came and she went into the labor ward with high hopes of seeing her baby later on. Unfortunately her baby was still born. When she was told that her baby died, she cried and felt like she had actually returned to her starting point. She felt life had punished her for cheating then she vowed never to try it again.

A year later, she missed her period. It was a big surprise to know that she finally got pregnant for her husband. Everyone rejoiced and they started preparing for the baby’s arrival.

On one of her ante natal days, she ran a test for HIV and tested positive. She was shocked to see the result because the last screening she did during her wedding preparation, was negative. Her husband was called for screening and he also tested positive. 

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Religion / Will He Ever Answer My Prayers? by Sokere8: 5:33am On Aug 14, 2017
God is a sovereign spirit being who is always there to listen and grant our requests. When we make a request to our earthly parents, first, they examine the necessity of our demand, before it is either granted, postpone or cancelled. This is same with God. He answers all our prayers just that the answer may not come the way we expected it.

Today, let’s look at the different forms God answers our prayers.

1)  “Yes!”    

“Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and you will see it fulfilled.”                    Mark 11:24

It is normal to expect a “yes” answer to all our requests.  Faith makes us believe before we see the manifestation of the answer. Getting a “yes” answer makes the heart joyful. God loves us so each time we ask for something good, He never fails in granting our heart desires.

Also, perseverance in our prayers goes a long way in facilitating our answer. If you show seriousness about what you want it could soften the heart of the King to grant your request speedily.

2) “No!”

   “You ask, and you do not receive, because you ask badly, in order to satisfy your passions!” James 4.3

There was a day I was using a scissors to cut some clothes, my two years old niece saw me and wanted to collect the scissors, probably because she thought it was some toy. I always gave her things to play with but I refused to give her the scissors. She must have thought in her little mind that I hated her not knowing that I was only shielding her from hurting herself.

When we ask for something from God, we assume what we want is good for us. But most times what we want might not be good for us. God, being an omniscience might decide not to grant our request. He knows exactly what is best for us. He knows very well that in granting certain prayers, there would be harmful consequences on our lives, or that of others, in the medium or long term.

It could be a particular country you want to relocate to and you have prayed about it but the visa processing keeps bouncing. God may not want you to go there because of possible dangers He sees in the future over there. He could also have a better place or plan for your life. But most of us would prefer to whine about our unsuccessful attempts instead of depending on God for the fulfilment of His purpose in our lives.

Another aspect that people hate to get a “No” is in the area of marriage. Probably because one had already fallen deeply in love with their partner, so when God says “NO!” they find it difficult to obey. There are huge consequences that follow every disobedience and great blessings for every obedience. It is good to always accept His “No” response while we wait for His direction. 

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Romance / Reasons Why Men Leave The Women They Love by Sokere8: 7:53pm On Aug 10, 2017
Women are known to fall easily in love when compared with men. For men, It takes courage to fall in love. This is because of his fear of being rejected. When a man falls in love there are some attitudes from the woman that might make him leave her  while still in love with her.

Let’s see some of them.

1)      Nagging
Men hate it when a woman nags and complains a lot. They prefer when you tell them softly what you want, but when you nag, it actually pisses them off. When the nagging becomes too much, he might start avoiding the woman. He could go to work and stay all day. He only returns home to sleep. Some women nag even at night thereby make him restless. 

2)    Success
A man wouldn’t be happy with a woman whose success has made her unsubmissive to him. Her success could make her to always be busy and have less time for her man. Also, some men develop low self-esteem when the woman earns more than them. This could also make him leave.

3)   Comparison

If there is anything that men hate, it is to be compared with an ex or with another person. If you constantly compare them with your ex then it means that you are still thinking about your ex and wish you were still him. Take a break from the comparison. If there is anything he isn’t doing right, let him know about it without comparing him with any other person. 

4) Over dependent.

One thing that makes a man happy is when his partner is not completely depending on him to provide all her needs. No one wants to have a liability for a partner. Meeting him for every single need can be annoying. There are some women that were empowered financially by their partner to start a business but they failed in the business maintenance and had to go back to depending on their man to meet their every single need. Don’t be over dependent on him. At least sometimes you should also pay his own bills.

5)  Criticism

When a woman constantly criticize everything the man does, it hurts. Irrespective of how he behaves, if a woman refuses to accept her man the way he is and decides to criticize his nature and actions daily, it becomes  a turn off for the man. 

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Romance / I Was Deceived By Her Pictures.. by Sokere8: 10:43pm On Aug 09, 2017
Am I the only one who has gone through a guy’s social media pictures and wished I was dating him? I have also looked at some beautiful pictures of some ladies and wished they were mine. Lol! Have you ever chatted with strangers and after you have become close to them, you get to find out that they were imposters.

During my university days, I had a male lodge mate, John. He met a girl on 2go social network and they got talking. They chatted for months and during this period they exchanged pictures. In all her pictures she looked very beautiful and he was even bragging of her beauty to his friends. They were also talking on phone and suddenly they had fallen in love.

They booked to meet up and he sent her money for transportation. He told his friends that his internet lover was coming over so we were expecting her. John cleaned his room, bought everything he felt she might be needing and waited for her arrival. He was to meet up with her at the bus stop and bring her to his house. When she arrived, he wore his best cloth, sprayed his best perfume and off to the bus stop he went to see her.

Being conversant with the premises he stayed at a place where he would see her first. Then he called her while looking around to recognize her. She had told him the color of dress she was wearing.  He saw a lady who stood some distance from him. She looked older than the person in the pictures and she also had a knocked knee. On recognizing her to be the person he had come to pick, he turned back and left without letting her to see him. He felt disappointed because the cute person in the pictures he saw wasn't cute in reality.

A female Facebook friend of mine once wrote;
“If you send me a hi and I don’t reply you, it’s possible that I have gone through your profile and seen your pictures that look far below my standards. If you ever want me to chat with you, make sure you have cute classy pictures.”

This got me thinking. Does our social media profile determine if we are successful or losers. Are you aware that most of those beautiful pictures you see have actually gone through filtering and photo shopping? There are those who hire clothes to wear and snap pictures then they post it on social media just to attract those lustful eyes. Some people who fell for some of these fake people and went ahead to meet up with them, were disappointed. Some even met their doom as they were either raped, kidnapped or killed.

Who have you been texting? That calm looking guy you see on Instagram could be a heartless person. He could also be a broke nigga. Whose text have you been ignoring? That shabby looking person you have been ignoring could have a good heart and be rich too. Maybe he is not a social media freak who would post his accomplishment on the internet. That pretty 16 years old looking girl could be your mother’s age mate in reality. There is a great need to always apply caution while making friends online. You should also guard your heart safely so you don’t end up falling in love with the pictures of a dead man/woman.

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Romance / I Don't Want To Fall" by Sokere8: 4:05pm On Aug 08, 2017
When a child is born, he learns to sit, crawl, stand and walk. Each of this stage comes with its own difficulty. While learning to walk, a child falls down on several occasions, but after each fall, he still rises up to take another step. At such a tender age, the child knows that no matter the pain felt from a fall, he should always try to take another step because if he continues to sit, he would be unable to walk and play like his peers. That’s the never give up attitude.

Some years ago during my National Youth Service in my home country, I watched a pageantry in the camp and a contestant actually inspired me. The contest was for big, bold and beautiful categories. Ladies who were proud of their shape and sizes walked about the run way, psychedelically with cheerful smiles, expressing and displaying their aura and charms. 

Then came this contestant, she was very beautiful, fat and huge. She wore a high heel that was either not her match or faulted. As she cat walked down the run way smiling to the audience, she missed her step and like a huge elephant, landed on the ground. Immediately, she got up, not minding the laughing audience, she resumed her steps but yet she fell again the 2nd time. It was humorous and the audience wouldn't stop laughing at her.

She stood up again and continued, waving and smiling as she went and stood on her spot among the other contestants. Initially she felt tensed and I believe she also felt she had lost out on the competition. But she didn’t let those thoughts get to her. On the following rounds of the competition, she did excellently well without any fidgeting and at the end of the competition, she emerged the 1st runner up against all the odds.

Many people are stagnant today because they feel that they might fall on taking a step. If you fall, would you be the first person to fall? No! So what’s the big deal? Inexperience can make a person fall. Also, experience doesn’t make you immune to falling. We all have ideas and dreams which we need to achieve and each time we take a step we find ourselves falling. Failing in whatever you do doesn’t mean that your idea was not valid or that your dream was not big enough. Failure simply means that there is something to learn or another way to go. 

It shouldn’t be about not falling, but about the direction you fall to. If you must fall, fall forward. Falling forward takes you a step closer to your destination but falling backward takes you to a position you had previously passed. Also, if you fall forward, with the support of your hands it would be easier for you to stand up and forge ahead.  

Below are some inspiring quotes from successful men.
1) “First, everybody will fail at something at some point, so you better get used to it. Second, if you never fail, take that as a sign that you're not really trying. And third, at the end of the day, failure will help you figure out what path you want to be on.” Denzel Washington

2)  “Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, or an hour, or a day, or even a year; but eventually it will subside, and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it will last forever.” (Lance Armstrong)

3) “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” (Marianne Williamson)

4) “You have to believe something different can happen. He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right.” (Henry Ford)

5) “Don’t ever let somebody tell you…you can’t do something. Not even me. All right? You got a dream. You gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period!” (Will Smith)

6)  “Don’t cry to give up. Cry to keep going. Don’t cry to quit! You already in pain, you already hurt! Get a reward from it!” (Eric Thomas)

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Romance / Could This Be Love? by Sokere8: 10:25am On Aug 08, 2017
Most opposite things in life are separated by a thin line. For example, lie and truth, life and death, good and bad, love and lust, sadness and happiness, friends and enemies.

Today I want to talk about the thin line between love and lust. But before that please take a second to answer these questions. What is love and lust?
Which one of them is the foundation of your relationship? How sure are you about your answer?
Is there truly a difference between love and lust?

I know love to be unconditional and lust to be conditional (inclined strictly on self benefits). Now, is there anyway you will be dating a person and not look out for your self benefits? Of course everyone does look out for self benefits which could either be in sexual, monetary, fame, or companionship form.

I guess you have heard comments like " I love him because he keeps me company" , "I love him because he is cute" , " I love him because he gives me money and fame".
The " because " in those statements contradicts the love. Love is unconditional so if there's a " because " in your love then I don't think you're in love. Lol!! Well, majority of the love we see are actually lust disguised as love. Only few practice true love.

The other day, I bumped into Miss A who was actually preparing for her wedding. So I asked her why she was marrying her man. She said it was because she loved him. I was like " What makes you feel you love him?"
"I know I love him because I have strong feelings for him " she replied.

Hmmmmm! Love isn’t a feeling because feelings don’t last; can be easily changed and blown away. Feelings are like weeds, they grow on unwanted places and it's usually your choice to either uproot it or nurture them. When you water them with care and attention they blossom and that becomes the beginning of a "love" story. Next season another weed (feeling) might grow and start striving for nutrients (affection) with the existing weed. That's when you would hear someone say they are in "love" with two or more people and cheating sets in.

What then is love? Love is a choice to commit to helping, respecting and caring for another. Love is willingly taking up a responsibility to love, cherish and sacrifice selflessly for the betterment of another person not minding if the person deserves it or not. It is an everlasting commitment.

Lust on the other hand, is a thought or a strong feeling you conceive to do something immoral. It is a desire to benefit from the other person. It is usually propelled by what we see or perceive about the individual. This could be the beauty, intelligence, character, abilities, status quo, or money.

Below are some contrasting features between love and lust.

1. Lust is ignited with the flames of sexual passion. It burns off and dies as soon as it is gratified. When it speaks, it focuses on sensuality, carnality and worldly passion. However, love can't be burnt by fire instead it glows in it. Unlike lust, love language only edifies and improves life.

2. Lust is impatient and could lead to premarital or extramarital sex. I know of a married man who cheated on his wife with the reason that she just gave birth and couldn't have sex with him. Meanwhile he wasn't ready to wait for her recovery so he used his ex girlfriend to relieve his urge at that time. He was caught and the marriage was ruined. But love is patient and respects vows of commitment.

3. Lust can thrive for long but cannot sufficiently build a long lasting relationship. However, true love is the best foundation for any successful relationship once it’s exclusively mutual.

4. Lust deafens and blinds you to the possible consequences of your actions. It separates you from God and isolates you from good friends. Love makes your life better, it makes you get closer to God and help you build meaningful relationship amongst friends, families and associates.

5. Lust makes you confused and indecisive “I love him but he beats me”, “I love him, I don’t want to lose him but he’s harsh, rude, proud and so on”. That's confusion. It affects your sense of judgment and you will end up making mistakes.

6. You lose NOTHING in love even if the relationship doesn’t lead to marriage but in lust, you lose either something or many things. When lust is over you feel USED by the other person.

7. Lust manipulates, controls, bounds you to your insatiable emotions and leaves you with guilt but love is gentle, kind and makes you free.

8. Lust is selfish and ungrateful. Even if you feed it with your last blood it would still want more. This is why you would see some lusting partners walking away from a relationship even after the other partner has sacrificed all that he or she has just to satisfy the lusting partner . But love is contented and grateful. In love, little is seen as much.

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Romance / Is My Love A Crime by Sokere8: 10:36pm On Aug 07, 2017
Love is an unexplainable intense feeling that arouses in an individual. It could make a person’s sense of judgement to differ from what the society considers acceptable. One of the “barriers” that love has had to face over time is the issue of age difference. In today’s discussion, we would be reviewing the perspective of some individuals regarding to the acceptable age difference between couples. What age difference is too much and shouldn’t be overlooked? What age difference is okay? And what age difference can be managed?

In the olden days, most men married very young girls. It was more like a tradition and the reason was that they needed someone younger to take care of them in their old age. While the woman would be taken care by her children in her old age. This actually resulted to many young girls becoming widows even from a tender age. As time went on, civilization came and women started going to school. This actually reduced the rate of early marriage.

Gradually a new trend came in. It was marriage between people of same age or little age difference. The society accepted this and it has been the core basis for judgement. In recent times, marriages between older women and younger boys took over. So far, many questions have been raised regarding to the acceptability of such marriages. Although some people termed it to be a marriage based on money not love. But how sure are they about the foundation of such marriages?

Let’s look at the reviews of some individuals regarding to love and age.

“I am 16 years old and I am in love with a 48 years old man. My family had put a ban on my contact with him.” Jennie

“I went out with a 21- year old boy for six months. I am 38. At first my parents didn't approve but little by little they realized that I had a lot in common with him” Phoebe

“I am 45 years old and I am in love with a 14 years old. The love existing between us is real and reciprocal” Collins

“I am 35, he's 55 yet the love between us is strong and we want it to last long. I don't think that age difference should be an obstacle from the moment we see in the person the magic that drives the love passion in us.” Mercy

“I had dated younger girls and it didn’t work out. They were not serious so I had to go for an older woman. I am 25 and she’s 38 and we have been together for a year. I must confess that she’s being the best thing that happened to me” Vincent

“I dated a younger woman but couldn’t put up with her immaturity so we broke up. I prefer mature and serious ladies” Kenneth

“I got married when I was 16 and he was 45 years. He had just lost his wife so I married him. It was a hell of a marriage as he constantly reminded me that he was old enough to be my father. It was a marriage of slavery but I was able to leave when I was 24 years.” Sandra

Marriage is a life time business. When you marry you expect to find happiness in your home. Let’s assume that you have got two options to pick regarding to a spouse. The first option has less than 10 years age difference but your compatibility with that person is poor. While the second has got over 20 years difference but your compatibility is perfect. Who would you go for?

Now there is the issue of “What would people say if I marry her/him?” Let’s see some response on that regards.
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Romance / When The Sex Becomes Sour, What Do You Do? by Sokere8: 9:09pm On Aug 06, 2017
When two people are attracted to each other, they fall in love and possibly get married. Sometimes, in the first few months of the marriage, the sex is usually good but as time goes by, sexual activities tend to drop. It could drop so badly that sex becomes a history in that home even when they are still sharing a roof.

People marry for different reasons other than sex so in such homes when the sex is no more they still live peacefully and go about the business of caring for their children. In other homes, when the sex is gone, the joy in marriage goes with it.

Most people are not able to admit how they truly feel about staying in a sexless or sour sex marriage. This is because they feel people may not truly understand them. These victims end up living a depressed and caged life, wishing they could have the opportunity to explore once more like they did when they were younger.

I recently carried out a study on the possible factors that contribute to killing sexual activities between married couples and I found a lot of them. Some of the factors are just naturally inevitable so if we eventually encounter them in our marriages we need to be ready to either treat or manage it while our marriage continues to glow. Below are reasons why some marriages face sex challenges.

1) Differences in Libido:
Last year we had a patient that came for counseling. The love making sessions in her marriage were gone. I listened to her as she narrated.

"When I first met my husband, I fell in love with him and within a short period, we got married. While we were dating he wasn’t really a sex freak so we didn’t really have sex often. Before I got married, I was in a relationship with a guy who was only concerned about the sexual pleasure he got from making love to me. So when I met my husband, who was loving, caring and didn’t really ask for much sex, I felt I had met the right one.

After we got married I noticed that he hardly initiated sex so I felt he was cheating but he wasn't. Sometimes when I tried to seduce him, he would come up with one excuse or the other. Then I felt maybe I wasn’t doing it right. I took my time to learn different sex styles still he wasn’t really showing much interest. His job was off town but he always had 1 week in every month to spend with his family. During his free time he would hang out with the family but when it's time for lovemaking, he would say he's busy.

Ten years into the marriage, lovemaking was gradually fading. We stayed for a year without having sex and I couldn’t take it anymore. After a visit to a urologist, he was diagnosed with a very low level of testosterone which was responsible for his low libido. What annoyed me was that he wasn't bothered about his situation and refused taking medication."

The differences in sexual desire between partners actually act as a problem in a marriage. Despite the fact that we are supposed to cope in order to suit our partner’s desire, there is a point when a partner just can’t take it anymore. Feelings of anger, bitterness, betrayal, painful past relationship, chronic stress, fatigue, money or child related problems can lead to low libido.

2) Lack of Communication/Emotional Intimacy:
Communication is the key to solving most issues in the family but unfortunately, in most homes, there’s little or no communication between the couples. Poor communication will prevent a partner from expressing what he/she finds appalling or desiring in their sexual life. It could be an odor that rebuffs or style that a partner enjoys greatly but instead of telling the partner he/she might just completely lose the interest of having sex with their spouse.

Emotional intimacy has to do with knowing your spouse well enough as to understand even their silence. Love making between two emotionally intimate individuals is actually a pleasurable experience. Some married couples who are emotionally intimate with outsiders find it difficult to completely release themselves to their spouses during lovemaking. This attitude can affect the sex life of the couple.

3) Presence of Disease:
When a partner develops a terminal disease and suffers from constant body pains, his mindset would be focused on how to recover. In some cases, love making might still be present but this is dependent on how severe the health condition is. The presence of a communicable disease can bring fear into the heart of the other spouse who would not want to become infected thereby reducing the frequency of lovemaking between the couple.

A lady narrated to me why she stopped having sex with her husband. They had been married for five years with no child. Her husband was a womanizer who constantly infected her with different sexually transmitted infections. Her steady treatment for these diseases made it impossible for her to get pregnant. Each time she released herself for unprotected love making she was always scared of catching another infection. Meanwhile, the husband had decided not to be faithful so they could completely treat the infections and focus on making a baby. The cheating, infections, and barrenness took away the spark in the marriage.

4) Painful sexual intercourse experience:
A lady came to the hospital where I work and was crying bitterly. She complained of being raped by her husband on different occasions. The husband takes drugs and each time he returns, he pounces on her like she was some prostitute who is also on drugs. She complained of severe pains from the sexual intercourse due to his brutality. When the husband was called for counseling, he said he didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. Besides she was his wife and should be strong enough to take whatever he’s got to offer. He said he has asked her to join him in taking drugs so she would be fierce in love making but she had refused. Hmmmm! At this point, the sex in the marriage became sour for her and instead of enjoying love making she was enduring it with tears.

5) Problem with Erection:
It could be very frustrating when a couple is eager to explore but erectile dysfunction becomes a barrier. That moment when you have done all the pre-intimacy and expecting the main thing then a weak or no erection becomes a barrier. It leaves the wife angry and the husband becomes embarrassed.

Erectile dysfunction can result due to heart diseases, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, etc. In the case of stress related dysfunction, the wife can help by making the husband focus less on his worries. But when the dysfunction lasts for long, it becomes a problem in the marriage.

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Romance / I Was Warned But I Didn't Listen by Sokere8: 7:21pm On Aug 06, 2017
I grew up in a godly home where we daily studied the scriptures at home and in church fellowships. I was basically the church girl. My primary and secondary school days were lovely as I went to a christian school from home and my parents were always there to guide and protect me.
They scrutinized all the friends I made and each time my mum suspected a bad company she would tell me to cut off immediately. Although at a point I didn’t like her control over me but I couldn’t do anything about it.

When I got into the university, everything was different. I had freedom. The freedom I had sought for a very long time. Mind you, this freedom wasn’t the freedom to live a wild life because I wasn’t ready for such lifestyle. The freedom was to be in charge of my affairs. School was fun and interesting as I successfully passed all my courses with distinction. I was basically doing okay. 

My love story started when I was in my third year in the university. On that faithful day, I was waiting along the road for a commercial vehicle. Suddenly this fancy car drove and stopped in front of me and a cute looking driver asked me to hop in. Initially, I was scared because I hardly took lifts from strangers. But he assured me that he meant no harm so I entered. He introduced himself as Jerry and told me he worked with some construction company. Even a blind man would have seen how classy he looked. Before he dropped me off, he requested for my phone number which I gave to him before waving him bye.

When I got to my room that day I was just thinking about him and wished he called so I could get his own phone number. He didn’t call me until after two days. When he finally called, we spoke like friends and he requested to meet up with me which I accepted.

The following day he picked me up and took me to an expensive restaurant. While we were there, he asked me to be his girlfriend which I accepted without thinking twice. When I got home that day, I had a burden in my spirit that I had made a wrong decision in accepting to date him. After all, I barely knew him so why did I accept dating him? Immediately I shoved off the thoughts.

During our dating period I noticed Jerry’s lifestyle was so different from mine. Unlike me, he was very wayward. He hardly went to church nor believed in God. To him, the only thing that matters in life is money and more money. He was a hardworking guy so I thought his money was solely from the investments he had. His family members were not in any way different from him. They were stinkingly wealthy. 

We dated for six months before he asked me to marry him. At first, I didn’t know if I was to accept his proposal or not. I knew that marrying him would mean dumping my lifestyle to join his. I knew my parents and pastors wouldn’t accept that I marry him. But I also knew that I was in love with him. So much in love. I was confused. That weekend I went home and told my mum about him. The first question she asked me was “Is he born again?” I looked at her and didn't know how to tell her that he wasn’t anything close to a Christian talk more of  “born again. " My mum admonished me that if he’s not a child of God , I should stay away from him. 

Well, I decided to pray about it.  I prayed and prayed for a sign from above regarding if I should marry Jerry or not. I got no answer. Just that a verse of the scripture constantly rang in my head “Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers "

I assured myself that I was going to convert him. Then one night, I had a dream. In that dream, I was at home, when some stranger brought a parcel for me. The parcel was neatly decorated with fine colors. I was so eager to open it then a voice asked me to throw away the parcel without opening it. I didn’t listen to that voice. I joyfully opened the parcel and guess what I saw inside? Plenty of worms and snakes  Jeez!

I immediately threw it on the floor and ran away.  As I ran, those snakes chased me so I woke up feeling scared. When I called my pastor and told him the dream, he said the interpretation meant that I shouldn't marry Jerry. I believed him and made up my mind to reject the marriage proposal. Little did I know that the devil was plotting another scheme for my life.

On the supposed breakup day, Jerry requested that I joined him to the club. I had never been to a a night club before. He wooed me into accepting his offer then brought a skimpy beautiful dress for me to wear. Although, I was uncomfortable in the dress but I  had to wear it to make him happy. At the club, he drank, danced and smoked. He offered me little alcohol which I took and became intoxicated. 

The following morning I found myself naked on the same bed with him. When I asked him what had happened, he just laughed and told me it was nice deflowering me.  Gosh! I was sad. He had taken advantage of my drunken state. When I screamed at him, he said “Common baby, I am going to be your husband, so what’s the big deal?” “Besides, I was drunk too so it's not entirely my fault. "

I was angry because I had vowed to keep my flower till my wedding night. I broke up with him that day before I left. He called me severally and apologized. He told me how much he missed me and of course I missed him too. He promised that he would turn into a better person as soon as we are married. Meanwhile my family's consent was pending so I was confused. 

Four weeks after the club incident, I found out that I was pregnant. That was another challenge and a big one at that. I prayed to God for direction but I never got an answer just that a little voice inside my soul was constantly saying “No!No!.

See full story here >>>>>>>>

Romance / I can kill for him. He's my Obsession. by Sokere8: 2:30pm On Aug 06, 2017
Love is a beautiful feeling that comes along with care, attention, sacrifice and lots more. Love feeling should be placed on check to avoid it from becoming an obsession.

A love obsession is a state of total dependence on someone. The obsessive lover holds firmly to their partner and is unable to accept rejection. He loves, cares, calls, protects, buys gifts, spends time with his partner but he does all these excessively. Obsession is actually a mental disorder that is caused by either low self-esteem, low confidence, fear, loneliness and bad past experiences.
Sometimes a relationships kicks off with love then suddenly a partner might start showing symptoms of obsession. How do you know when the love has graduated to obsession?

When a partner starts making comments like “I love you more than my own life” “If you ever leave me, I would die” “Without you I am nothing”. There is need to monitor such person. I know a guy who stabs himself each time the girlfriend threatens to leave him. That’s a case of neurosis.

Addiction to love is doubly harmful because it affects not only the couple but it hits even harder the one who must live with it. Before you probably started dating, you were free. No one snooped around your phone to check who you are chatting with. No one monitored how many of your friends you visited nor how long you spent there.

But since you met this guy, each time you  are away from the house he calls you in minutes interval to know your whereabouts like you were some baby. I am not saying that is wrong to check up on a person but when it is done out of fear, mistrust and jealousy then it becomes a problem.

Characteristics of an obsessive lover
1) They are usually over possessive. A partner is seen as a personal belonging that shouldn’t be tampered by an outsider. They can prevent their partner from associating with people.

2) They are jealous of everything and constantly face crises due to jealousy.

3) They fear that their partner might cheat so they constantly monitor their partner. 

4) They are overprotective even over unnecessary things. 

5) They can sacrifice everything just to make their partner happy.

6) They cry, worry and nag over insignificant things. This is due to insecurity feeling.          

7) They are very weak and could be suicidal.

Do you have an obsessive partner? If yes, this is what you should do.

1) Constantly reassure him that you love him as much as he loves you.

2) You can calmly discuss how you would like him to give you some space so you can live you own life.

3) Tell him that life shouldn’t be just about the both of you and there is need that you people interact with others.

4) In cases of his overprotective attitude you can explain that you can take care of yourself so he should minimize his protecting attitude.

Are you an obsessive partner? If yes, you need to work on yourself by taking the following steps.

1) First, you are an adult so you should be independent and able to control your emotions and behaviors. When you notice that you have started depending your happiness and sanity on your partner’s conduct or misconduct, you should immediately take a break.

2) Do not harass your partner all the time by sending him emails or text messages. If he is not near you, avoid asking him at all times what he is doing, where he is or with whom he is. This shows a lack of confidence in the person and a sign of uncontrolled jealousy.

3) Instead of restricting your partner from associating with other people, you should work on your insecurity feeling. Also, keep in mind that no matter what you do, some partners will not give you the attention you are looking for. 

Read the full article at>>>>>>>>

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Literature / Let It Go by Sokere8: 1:59am On Aug 06, 2017
Life is not a complete bed of roses that is why we encounter misfortunes that could break our heart into pieces and make us wish we were never born. Some inevitable things in life are making mistakes, failure, death, losing a love one, betrayal, etc. Your life shouldn’t stop after a break up, loss, betrayal or separation. It is normal to cry and feel bad when something unpleasing happens to us but we shouldn’t get stuck in the page of crying, worrying, mourning, regretting, and bitterness which would deprive us the present and future happiness.                       

With the increasing rate of suicide, depression and anxiety, you are to guard your heart against harboring hurtful thoughts of yesterday. Whether it is emotional (friendship, love, children, etc.) or professional (project, evolution,responsibilities, etc.) we all have something in common: concerns, fears and worries. 

Some people fear the repetition of a misfortune of the past. I have a girlfriend who was abandoned at the altar on her wedding day. This incident affected her immensely as she completely withdrew from people. She had this feeling that she wasn’t good enough for anyone since the one she loved rejected her. She was living in depression and anxiety. Later on some suitors came around but she rejected them because she was scared that they might still leave her on the altar like the last person did. She was living in her fears which deprived her from becoming happy again. It took time and counseling before she finally decided to let go and embrace a new found love who brought her so much happiness than she ever imagined.

You need to know that no past situation will ever happen twice exactly in the same way. Of course, I may have to suffer a second loss, mistake, rejection etc….but why deprive myself of present happiness by thinking of future misfortune? 

It is good to want to make love last, to keep a friendship, to save to buy a house, to finish a doctoral thesis, to want to be pregnant, to wish to find the man of your dream or to wish that your husband ceases to drink or your wife stops cheating ... But when this obstinacy becomes obsessive, when our whole existence is invaded by this fixed idea to the point where we no longer appreciate life and those around us, we have to go to the obvious and realize that “ What can’t be changed should be accepted whole heartedly. ” If you choose to continuously worry yourself over any situation, you could fall ill, sink into depression or even be tempted to commit suicide.We must therefore cut off all ties with the past and live in the present.

Forgiving and letting go doesn’t mean you are weak.  It means you are strong enough to open and enjoy the next page of your life. To let go is to accept the limits and stop fighting for something that is dead. It is integrity and freedom. 

The rule to follow in letting go is the burial rule. Yes! we must definitely mourn the old relationship, loss or failure! But do not continuously water those thoughts if not it would grow up and choke you. Bury those thoughts, leave that relationship in tatters where it is: in the cemetery of the ruptures, with a beautiful epitaph if necessary.  Don’t replay the hurt, disappointment nor rejection incident. Press the end button then say to yourselves: "It’s time to move on to something else."

I often hear people say “I can’t forget about that ugly experience no matter how hard I try”. Or “I can’t forget him because I loved him so much.” The brain stores any information you feed it with. So it has the capacity of forgetting any incident. Not like you would have amnesia but when you have chosen to let go, and you send that command to your brain, gradually you would notice improvements and the memories won’t hurt as much as it did at first. You must move on and not go back because ahead lies better love, opportunities, possibilities, potentials, hopes, and success. Obviously, it is much easier to say than to realize. But remember that "Where there is a will, there's a way."

The true letting go is to continue being happy to live even if we do not have what we desire. The true letting go is to take pleasure in my life as it is now. The real letting go is to trust life and believe that life would do us good. It is to desire something and not to worry about it.

Letting go is leaving the control to Him that is higher and stronger than us. That is to say: "Ok, I admit that I do not know how to handle this situation." "Ok, God, I'll leave you the reins of my life." And of course, God can never fail. Beautiful soul, that revenge you are plotting, that failure, that wrong marriage, that death of a loved one, that betrayal, that unreciprocated love, LET IT GO! Live your life and always be happy.

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Religion / Make You No Fear!!! by Sokere8: 4:39pm On Aug 05, 2017
It’s the dawn of a new beautiful day
But you just can’t see it
Lying on that sick bed
Battling to save your breathe
The doctor said “Your internal organs are damaged”
So your days are numbered
You have cried and cried
Wishing for a miracle
Mr. Patient
I have a message for you
Fear not! 

Your bank statement is zero
You have bills and debts unpaid
And like a mouse hide from the cat
You hide each time 
The man you owe come knocking
The last time he caught you
You had promised to pay the next day
It over 3 months
But your next day is yet to come
Mr Debtor
I have a message for you
Fear not!

Since recession paid you a visit
Your children have been malnourished
Yesterday you bought five loaves
And prayed it multiplied
So they can feed on it for five months.
But the bread wasn’t enough
To serve as dinner
When they said they needed more
You said
“Na night food, manage am”
“Tomorrow I go buy chicken”

With one eye closed they slept
Waiting for tomorrow to come
And even before cock crew
They woke up and asked
“Daddy shey we go chop chicken today?’
You didn’t know what to say to them
But deep inside you knew
You couldn’t even afford another five loaf of bread.
Mr Bread winner
I have a message for you
Fear not!

You clocked 36 years this year
Still single and waiting
The fear of menopause is engulfing you
And you desperately need a man
You dated Ken for seven years
He promised to marry you
With each passing year
He refused to pop the question
Finally, this year he walked down the aisle
Holding the arms a new beautiful a lady
Someone he just met 5 months ago.

For the many years you spent with him
He should have given you a certificate
But he left you without a valedictory speech
He left without a goodbye
Hey! Miss Single
I have a message for you
Fear Not!

Fear not, 
Says the Lord of Host
For I see thy pains
I know you by your name
And I have chosen to bless thee
You have value in my eyes and I love you.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
Although you walk through the valley and shadow of death

Fear not for I will protect you
I will lighten thy dark path
So you won’t stumble and fall
Before me, all your heavy burdens
Are weightless like chaff
I will command the wind to blow away your sorrow
Fear not!

I know your past failures, present situation and future hopes
Say to me what you want
And I will grant you all your hear desires
I will restore all that you have lost
If you have faith that never shiver

Fear not
For I have spoken
And all your limitations are broken
Soon those that mocked you will celebrate you
So rise up now! 
And start living like a champion you are.

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Romance / 10 Things To Do When Your Heart Is Broken by Sokere8: 4:05pm On Aug 05, 2017
In our daily interaction with people, we are prone to be hurt. The offender could do it intentionally or unintentionally. What matters is our reaction after we have been hurt. How can we forgive those who have disappointed, wounded or betrayed us? Is revenge the best option?

Forgiving someone is one of the most difficult things to do. However, it is necessary to learn to forgive in order to rebuild one's relationship with another person or simply to forget the past and move on. The unforgiving feeling is natural but not advisable since it causes more pain to the victim. Holding on to resentment can cause depression and harm to your future relationships with others.

Let’s take a look at some steps to take in forgiving a person.

Trying to deny the fact that you were hurt would do no good to your psyche. Yes! You were hurt, you made a mistake, accept it. You were jilted after all your sacrifices. You lost a dear one to the hands of death. Whatever might be the case, to overcome it you must first recognize its existence. The past does not disappear and it would be impossible to forget the past. Accepting the past is the first step to take in your journey of forgiving your past.

Some people believe it is impossible to forgive. But the truth is, irrespective of the crime, it is possible to forgive. To forgive requires a conscious and active decision to let negativity go. When you forgive a person, it is you who would benefit most from the decision. So you have to decide not to suffer in depression and choose to forgive

Don’t try to hide the anger you have against the person. Release it! Cry and scream. If you feel like hitting, hit a punching ball. It will make you feel better. Release all the negative emotions and be free. If you hold back the tears and anger, they would simmer and cause you more pains.
Remember that you do not do it to relieve the conscience of the other or to approve what he has done. You do it to give you the chance to heal and move on.

It is not good to make hasty conclusion before hearing from the offender. Talk to the person and try to see reasons why he did what he did. After listening, do not react too quickly, to avoid saying something you will regret later. Take some time to digest what you have learnt before taking action. If it was someone close to you that hurt you, think about the good times you shared with the person, be compassionate and realize that as humans we are prone to err.

You need to sit down and analyze the situation. Did the person intentionally hurt you? Was he remorseful? Was the situation inevitable? Irrespective of the answers you get, you need to accept that whether the person was wrong or not, what has happened has happened. The important thing is moving on and that is what you should work on.

Talking to someone goes a long way in easing off the weight. Talk to a friend, a family member or a therapist. They can lend you an attentive ear and a shoulder to cry on. Express your point of view and listen as they counsel you.

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