₦airaland Forum

Ajadrage is still here!!!
Seems he does not like his head on his neck, maybe he'll prefer it in my refrigerator.

Akola
whats up? Good to have you back at least till Christmas

Meanwhile whats all this about AG in heaven? Who let him in there?

rexfx2:
d tussle of tryin 2 be the last 2 post!

And you are?

What tossle

Neither . . . he developed an operating system - A software

What is a software?

It may be possible that there exist a trust problem in the relationship hence the question about email passwords. If either party is truly guiltless then the simple thing would be to submit the password and lay the issue to rest.

Once again I emphasize that you hide things only if you HAVE to hide them. If you are clean then there's NO reason to fret about your email.

almondjoy:
Come oh? Somze----What kind of people are your uncle and aunt? Are they invalids or are you adopted and made power of attorney over their estates to have all these privileges? Or did you cast a spell on them to have all these passwords? Why so much trust in you?

Simple . . . I have proved my self trustworthy.

almondjoy:
People like you are to be feared. You sound very controlling. You must sign all the checks in your matrimonial home and demand e-mail account passwords? You are the only one that needs breaks or holidays from "marital stress". You sound so young and naive.

I never made all these claims my dear. Please do not put any words in my mouth.
I NEVER said I sign all the cheques . . . I said I sign MY cheque. Who signs your cheque abeg?
I never said I am the only one that is in need of breaks or holidays. As a matter of fact the holiday reference was meant for her since you so claimed her email was her ONLY getaway joint.
Na wa o, how do you read sef?

I highlighted a word in your post up there. You may want to stick to points and leave out personal attacks dear . . . not good for your health

almondjoy:
Instead of cultivating trust and discussing personal differences like adults, you go snooping around e-mails? Like you said--then what?

Why can't we have the two of them? Why can't we have the discussion and the email?
And why must reading your wife's email (of which she gave you the password) be termed snooping around?

Moondust
whattup

mamaput
I'm sorry about your marriage . . .
He may read some . . . . I see

og2711:
The truth is that who insists on finding a quarrel will eventually make one up when he does not find one.

The point of Email sharing is not to create problems it is to enable an open environment where trust is emphasized. There are a couple of ways a relationship can find quarrels so this is totally baseless . . . sorry

og2711:
I am a man and i know there is totally nothing to be gained in reading your spouses emails. The key word is trust. If you trust her, you should probably be able to ask her whatever you think you'll see in those emails.

Yes there is something gained - Open environment, sharing, increased trust, less secrets etc. If there is trust then email password should not be a problem should it? She should give it up to even prove that there lies no hidden skeletons

og2711:
Another point is [b]"what is the aim of having her password?"[/b]There is no need doing all the James bond. Okay, if you really find out she was cheating through her emails, what next? Will you feel pleased with yourself and go to the bank? Of course not, you will still feel just as bad as if you had walked in and found them doing it on your matrimonial bed.

There are lots of aims . . . emphasis on LOTS
I do not understand your cheating analogy please explain. So because you dont want to see something bad in the mail you should let things be hidden?

og2711:
Another poster had already said that "there are some things that are honestly not relevant to your marriage" not because they don't concern your husband, but because they concern other people. For instance, a patient confiding in a doctor or a psychiatrist does not expect him/her to go home and use his problems as pillow talk. There are actually laws prohibiting that!!!! Till you die, there will always be things that your husband will not know about your family, take it or leave it.

This case is totally different and involves privacy laws. It has nothing to do with the issue what so ever. There are a lot of things that are "not relevant in relationships" but we do them nonetheless and its helps it. Unless you can so prove that you do only relevant things in yours or in any others you once again are shooting at nothing.

og2711:
And lastly, for the simple reason that not all people are the same. Some need a greater degree of privacy than others and as respect is so important in any relationship, you must learn to respect whatever your spouse feels. Some husbands/ wives could be insensitive enough to bring up certain issues after a few drinks at a family function and then you'll know to keep your mouth shut.

Oga let me make this simple. Two people are sharing the lives together till death, one asks the other please can I have your email password? What should be the reply? NO er er . . . I need my privacy?
Absolute Rubbish.

Like I have said earlier, emails and passwords are no big a deal unless access to it is denied then eyebrows will be most definitely raised.

Guys thanks its Starcomms EVDO for me then.

Canada is as cold as the North Pole . . . if it aint classified as that already and the place far no be small.

Its peaceful though and it's easier to get its Visa than US', but again I thought Finland was peaceful till the school shooting incident

Er . . . I do not want to sound offensive or derogatory but you need to step up on your spiritual life - prayer, worship, bible study, lifestyle et al.

It gives you the needed weapons needed in these spiritual battles.

Another thing you may have is fear . . . the greater one is in you already so you have nothing to fear.

It's advisable to share it in your Cell meeting or your group meeting so others can pray with you as well.

Mail me or buzz me so we can talk further

mamaput:
more like a little bit too much of the truth.

Anyway you did not answer my question

mamaput:
if my husband dose not have it then there is something wrong.

What do you mean here?

Do you accept that your husband can read your mails or not?

Anywhere

my precious
better walk wit a bullet proof vest
i hear its raining bullets over there

mamaput:
somze its not about having it or not having it.
its about asking for it.
if my husband dose not have it then there is something wrong.
there is no trust.

You kinda confused me here . . .
I understand you have a problem with your husband asking for it but what do you mean by the highlighted?

mamaput:
But there is nothing like a snopping husband.

Well there is certainly a problem of trust in that kind of relationship, i wonder what or who caused that.

mamaput:
Once when my kid was 2 years old i hrard the father asking her were i go with her , if i meet other men etc.
Well that day i told him to his face if i bbring a lover home there is nothing he can do about it apart from going.
so when you find the so called lover what next.

This is a lil bit too much of info dont you think?

here

Welcome

tkb417:
@LLM Durham
this guy, you want all of us to post our resume in here, ull run ooo, nice one though. Good school.

Thought I was the only one that noticed it . . . did not want to be too direct

I have made a post

Carlosein
Very well said

almondjoy:
Hmmmmmmmm! The one you left at the altar? She is happily married now while you are still single running after "Neyo"--in Nairaland!!!

I was just in Neyo for the money, but now i'm back

almondjoy:
What are you thinking? Transparency is transparency---email or bank account. Share and share alike. What is the difference. Is it not hiding something too? Not trying to start any wars here but to let you know that that "transparency" law is for the birds!

Oh? It is okay for a man to hide his earnings while rummaging through his wife's e-mail eh? What is the difference please. No trust?

Big difference, this is CASH $$$ not just some silly email account where she's allowed to flirt.

almondjoy:
Because women understand the need to have a "private haven" from it all when things are not so rosy! You guys can hang out in bars and what have you. But a married woman's "recreational" environment is very limited. Then the only one area you might have control, the man wants to come there too?

This generalization is hasty and false.
I need not bother to debunk this claim
Or according to your theory ALL guys hang out in bars and all while women have nothing except their emails. Absolute RUBBISH!!!

almondjoy:
Yes! Forget about asking her about it because she will need moments of sanity from you sometimes where you cannot tell her what to do. If you cannot share your bank account details--don't bother asking for her "password". Like your uncle and his wife have only one e-mail account" How many people in this day and age have less than 3 e-mail accounts. Who is fooling who?

What the heck do you want with her password anyway? That is too much control I may say. The next thing you will ask for your son's or daughter's or sister's or brother's. It is irrelevant!

Bank accounts are different from ordinary email passwords but if she wants my statements she can as well have it, it's still me that signs the cheques not her.

My Aunt has about 2 email account and an Internet Bank account . . . I have ALL those passwords.

My Uncle may have more than 2 email accounts . . . I have his business email account password.

Asking for password is not an issue until when she refuses to give it up, then eye brows will definitely be raised.

Moments of sanity is what I need from her not the other way around . . . besides have you heard of holidays?

mamaput:
But why even ask for the password.
if it has come to that stage then who is the problem with.
i do not know why people cannot understand do not read my mails.
The same thing with letters.
it is free for me not to show my husband my letters, or to read only a part to him.
If i feel that he will go behind my back to read them, i will start hiding them

Are you married?

I notice that the married females have a slightly different view on the subject. I guess I have to forget about asking my wife about her password
But I have seen where this works without any issues . . . my Uncle has the password but he does not go there unless she wants to show him stuff . . . maybe thats the difference

Anyway nothing wrong in letting your husband know your password . . . what is marriage for anyway?

Ok, fine you are a princess . . . anything you want to believe

Which girls wey i dey toast again? Abeg no be me

Anyways you neva answer me . . . how body?

almondjoy:
I do not know why it is mostly the men here that have a problem with this e-mail business after having more than one girlfriend or wife here, there and everywhere. Is this not a sign of joblessness?

You just want to start a war don't you, madam take am easy o

Meanwhile whatever happened to Babeelove . . . just thinking

Now the problem with bank statements got me thinking. Is Email to the females the equivalent of what a Bank account is to the males? . . . just thinking

Ok bro, just be slow to reply then

princess?
where is she

Oh Acid its just you
Hello girl where've you been?

tkb417
I noticed you have changed a lot from your posts, you're beginning to sound like some other folk up in manU thread.

Take it easy, try your possible best to keep it clean.

nwando:
Almond don't mind these unmarried folks.

BabyOsisi, that was unnecessary na
Just cause we're unmarried does not mean we cant air views on marriage issues, we'll all get married one day . . . I think

Anyway I understood your view point but I have a slight concern - Why would a wife not give her husband her email password if asked? What possible excuse can she offer? Privacy? Is that a good enough excuse for someone she's spending her life with.

This is even email o not bank account statements and all that. I wonder what the woman would say when it comes to that.

seun
well thats a good question, but experience from my Aunt and my Uncle tells me that because they share passwords and all, there's no need for either of them to check the mails unless either party brought something up.

Openess . . . sorry for my language . . . brings trust. Trusts removes the need to constantly monitor . . . surveillance may be a better word here . . . the other party's activities. I can tell you that my uncle stays out late, travels alone and stuff but even I trust him so much that I know he will not as much as look at another woman.

Like I said any woman that has nothing to hide in her email wont make a big deal out of it and soon both parties wont even bother about emails anymore.

Dude marry her before I will

Na wa o,

Chelsea wont kill me abeg

There is nothing wrong in viewing your wife's mail. If she has noting to hide it should not be an issue.

My closest Aunt and her husband are like that. They share passwords, pick up each others calls and stuff. I even have all my aunts passwords. Even her internet bank account. I have her husband's business mail password.

When I get married I want to be able to share anything with my spouse. It's really not a big deal. If your wife has nothing to hide she will so easily give you her mail.