₦airaland Forum

RocksQueen: Tnx for all the advise on the retroverted uterus. Please who knows where I can go to 'set' my womb in Lagos?

I was referred to a lady but opted not to go because the person dat referred me later complained that the lady wasn't able to sort her out.

@Arlington...nice of u to stop by. Pls do so more often so that u can give advice to those of us still waiting.We may have questions that you would have just the ryt answer to.

@Nikky...pls we are rejoicing with u cos we walked the path together..so u can come in to answer questions cos who better dan sum1 who knows where we've all been?

Please all who have been blessed, u may have answers to our questions..so don't be strangers oooo
I dunno how it can be insensitive here...I know out there people say stuff or go on and on and on that hurt a bit!

On a lighter note, has anyone ever said anytin insensitive to you all?Like what?

For me,I can write a book! For example

*'am tired of getting pregnant too quickly,na wa for me and my husband, what of u sef..how far?' (yeah rub it in)

*'my baby is the most beautiful baby in the world, u what are u waiting for' (for my Daddy in heaven)

*'u know am pregnant, I was too tired to hear ur greeting (once am pregnant, I'll be too tired to even see u!)

*'if u are SURE u wanna be preggie den tell ur dh make im hit u wella,cos na him dey slack',(!?!)

*'tnx for inviting me for lunch,by the way are you pregnant?' (No I want to poison u cos am not pregnant yet!Mtscheuw rubbish of no category! Lol!)(This last question was asked by a pregnant friend when I asked her to stop by for snacks on my birthday...I didn't respond she didn't come friendship suspended until further notice!!)

*'you dey 4kup o! You neva still carry belle till now?I don born my 4th child already u still dey there'

Who can top these?

@ Rockqueen nope Rockmommy you can say that again! Mine is colleagues at work and it goes goes thus, come babe wetin u and hubby dey wait for abi honey moon never finish? or In fact your hubby no be sharp shooter una still dey phock for fun
Then each time my mum calls me and i'm sounding tired prolly as a result of exhaustion from house chores the next thing that follows in thick igbo accent would be{Nne nkea olu gi na 'ada otua idigo ime ) Pleaaaseeeee!!
Then my mum-inlaw this was past sunday she came around; My daughter u people should be preparing the other room for the baby
I know in all of these, most of them mean it in a good way without realizing it puts undue pressure on the woman.
I have decided to start seeing the glass as half full because i know God who started the good work in my life is able to complete it.
BTW i made my 1st post on this thread yesterday and AF just showed her ugly face this morning i'm so sad..... I know it is well, once i have life i have my next cycle to try again . Peace!!

I'm tapping into the anointing of all preggys on this thread while believing God for my own BFP IJN!!! My AF will not show tomorrow till after nine months IJN !!!!! AMEN!!!

Hi Peeps, i think it is better for people to email nairalandcharity@gmail.com to request for account details instead of posting their email addresses here as scammers might also capitalize on it and send you fake account numbers. It happened to me before ....Good job guys this goes to show we are one family despite the tribal,religious and social orientations! I remember the case of Menek, the young man nairalanders set up a pharmacy business for!!
One love...

What a funny post but true....another one that cracks me up { everyman or anybody driving an SUV is a big man }

Hello Fruitful Ladies! Ive been a silent follower of this thread and i'm amazed at the level of encouragement and strength you guys draw from each other!
I'm also in the waiting game! I know that OUR redeemer liveth. I've been married for 9 months and yet to conceive. I had a mymectomy in January this year and has commenced ttc(May) as my Gynae advised. We made a conscious effort last month (May).However, i still harbour fears due to my doc's comments post ops that my right tube looked like its blocked and stuck under my navel but he had to free it while the left one seems ok but that i would a HSG to know the true picture . I have been scheduled for hystesonogaphy 18th Jun and HSG 20 Jun which falls within my CD12. AF is suppossed to show tomorrow but i've not really been having signs of it like i used to in the past. I hope and pray it does not appear till after nine months...
This is not an easy road to walk but i believe with God we will all rejoice one day & soon!!
Spraying baby dust everywhere....

Please i'm intrested in getting this car for my Papa! If you can go for N200k cashdown by tomorrow morning before 10:00am? Pls contact me on ryke200@yahoo.com
tks

@ OP Please hang in there! Every rshp comes with its own challenges and like some posters said your wifey might be under pressure as well and may have voiced out the comparison out of frustration. At times women say things they don't mean, dont be hard on her especially when you know this is someone that has stood and still standing by you through hard times.
You come across as a responsible hard working man; keep focused and in due season God will make the lines falll into pleasant places for you both...
In retrospect, i remember when myself and hubby were starting, it was'nt a walk in the park but today our story has changed and things have improved a great deal. The only small issue being that my job makes me travel a lot the reason i'm awake till this time cos im not within our base now working off station
I work in telco and i know there is recruitment on going for CCE as we are tryna expand the CC, since you've done call centre job in UK you can send your cv to ryke200@yahoo.com for CC job to start from on full time basis if you re interested as you could get an opportunity for job rotation in other units as well. God's speed

@ Opokonwa: Sis-Skills has said it all! Nobody is saying their partners are perfect but this shows how accepting we are of our mates despite all that!Simply put" Loving an imperfect person perfectly" and trust me its a beautiful thing when you are with the right one.
Have you ever wondered why alot of men and women seem to add weight or look fresher as soon as they get married? I'm a perfect example, i used to be a size 8 now i'm a 12 and there is nothing i'm eating as a married woman that i was not eating while single...lol

opokonwa: Nigerians are not doing badly in this marriage thing

We've been together for three years and married for 8 months From the time i met him till now, i'm convinced God gave me the perfect specimen for me ONLY. With all his faults which mine of course dwarfs we love us to bits! We both feel very miserable each time we have a misunderstanding and make up is always sweeeeeeet! We are learning everyday in our marriage journey and God has been sooo good to us! I love you loads UTOBIM...like someone said earlier, we may not like the same TV shows, sometimes u abandon your News channels, NatGeo etc to watch Guiliana & Bill with me! Even when u bought 2 TVs to enable us enjoy our seperate viewing u still derive joy in cuddling and watching my programme in expense of urs that most times we end up watching TV together all that mattered was the company!
If there is marriage in heaven, i'd sure say YES to u again and again!

I'm on board Arikair now! Putting my phone off! Thanks shushu for caring! Bless u

omo jeje: @ poster. What your husband is doing is called EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Pure and simple. Google that phrase and educate yourself. The truth of the matter is that his behavior is very deliberate. You are not crazy. I know right now that you have a gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of your stomach because you feel you may have made a mistake in marrying this person who suddenly seems like a stranger. Let that feeling be your warning system. Do not try to suppresss that feeling and don't let anyone help you suppress it by convincing you that you are in a "normal" marriage and that you just have to work out the hiccups. You need to buck up my sister and face the situation at hand. People whose husbands beat the living day lights out of them.....this is how they started o!

If you don't know, know it now- your husband in his heart of hearts has always been like this. He just hid it from you. If he didn't hide it, OBVIOUSLY, you would not have married him. He is a smart man after all. He is also a cruel, emotionally cold man. Of course in a few days he will apologize to you and come up with all sorts of excuses about why he did what he is doing. He will slyly place the blame on you (honey, you know I love you more than anyone else in this world. You are the only one who can make me so angry that I begin to act like a mad person). Things will only get worse if you do not put your foot down. In his mind he is now showing you his true colors because he believes that since you are now married, you are his and you can not "go anywhere". You are stuck with him. He can do whatever he wants and you will have no choice but to put up with it.

1) let him know that you will not tolerate being disrespected in public or in private. It is a good thing that you told him you will not allow him to slap you. Make sure it is just not mouth o. Action must follow the words. No 2nd chances when it comes to physical abuse.

2) do not let him convince you to keep your concerns to yourself. Bring in a sensible, neutral 3rd party who can be a witness to your concerns early on and give sensible advise to the 2 of you. If not, these people will be the 1st people to ask you why you did not involve them later o. Again, do NOT listen to the people who advise you to keep your marriage matters between the 2 of you. This is not the normal husband/wife adjusting to marriage o.

3) do not get pregnant yet o. Having children will not change him. On the contrary, it cements his thoughts about you having no choice but to put up with him. Only have children with this kind of person when he has demonstrated over many months that he is willing to change.

4) swallow your pride and tell your family that you fear all is not well. In case of incasities, they will hopefully always have your back.

5) above all, always have your guard up with him. He is a skilled manipulator (after all, he manipulated you over months to get you into the position you are in now). Be ready to defend yourself. NEVER back down. Let him know that he is not the only one who can change after marriage. Become more assertive and stand up for yourself against false or unreasonable accusations or demands. People like him always look for good and kind people to try this kind of nonsense with. So for you own sake better show him that you are no more the nice, good and kind girl that will apologize to him even when he is the person in the wrong.

Normal men have a conscience and would react with profuse apology or change in behavior if they know that they are the one in the wrong and yet their wife is the one apologizing. The fact that your husband was not moved is a BIG clue (amongst several other clues in you story).

Emotional abuse is rife in Nigeria but that does not mean you should put up with it. A lot of people are used to being emotionally abused so they will tell you they don't know what you are complaining about, because it is normal to them. But they are not the one living with your husband- you are. So my advice to you is - DO YOU. We can all give you advice, tell you our experiences but at the end of the day, it's your life. You need to decide what you want out of you life with cards on you have on the table.

A word is enough for the wise. I was in your position 12yrs ago. If I knew what I know now, I would have handled my life differently. I have still come out on top sha because God does not sleep but I could have saved myself from unnecessary heart ache and emotional anguish.

@ Omojeje: I've gone thru ur post but trust me my hubby is very far from any of the stuffs you mentioned!I'm an outspoken person and doesn't one bit surpress me from showing my emotions. Like a said earlier,we had a lenghty convo and I understand what he wants now. I SCOLLED at him (on the street early morning like 6:30am n it was drizzling n street was kinda lonely) when he was insisting I come home with him. He took offence cos of my public outburst that atleast I shld have followed him home to vent my anger as I wanted! He feared why I acted like that and senses that I cld do it again and prolly in the daylight.Also I cld caution or vent when I feel he's wrong if its both of us at home and that I disrespected him by doing that on the street. He also apologised for saying he was gonna slap me and did not mean it! I have done something wrong to him in the past(I ate some kinda stuff I shd'nt eat cos of my health and I lied to him abt it)) that actually deserved a slap but he simply walked away! I know from the depth of my heart that hubby did not mean the slap stuff but I want him to STOP using such violent expressions now before the children start coming. He also explained it was his way of telling me how pissed he was at that moment! In all na just small matter wey start frm wife looking out for hubby who was running his tech stuff and giving unsolicited advice lol as I know quite well doesn't like it! Na I'm take style turn to quarel and my ego did not allow me to sort it out that same night before it now translated into the long silence which was hurting me and I had to seek help!there had also been times I've thrown unneccessary tantrums n he calms things down even when he is fully aware I'm the one in the wrongIn conclusion, I can't trade him for the world cos I know God made his SPEC just for me! We have such a great rship and both of us are not ready to sacrifice it at the altar of EGO. I have stooped and I have conquered ...peace!!

For those implying this is Jenny sooooo wrong! I was frustrated cos I didn't know who to talk to hence I put it up on NL. Incidentally Jenny was the person to respond as God would have!
@Jenny: yea I will go back thursday instead of friday! Wld sure make-up with kpekuson when AF goes home!
@Analytical: you were soooo right my hubby is like you interms he doesn't wanna involve me on tech stuffs but sometimes I come up with creative ideas which he uses when his own has failed ! Lol but y are MEN like dat? In fact sometime agohe bought some techy stuff he was trying to fix I noticed he was having difficulty then I joined him in observing the catalogue an idea came to my head which he applied and it worked! But he was furious and beating himself up that night! Meanwhile I later discovered he was googling how to fix it b4 I stepped in...lol! He's such a lovely guy in/out but his sturborness atimes chei....tks 4 ur contribution too as I would be looking 4 u whenever I want to pick out d mind of man!
Thanks so much all! This experience has taught me that really REAL people come here with REAL issues but most times we see some members either attacking or mocking them! This is one big family now for me! Many thanks peeps and much love!

@ Jenny: Update: I called him and we had 1hr discussion over the phone about the incident and we have both trashed things out.His anger was that he was calling me to get back home and i was talking back and saying in hash tone +public" leave me alone to go to work i have meeting" i apologised profusely and told him i had written an attestation letter that no matter how angry i am that i would never show any form of emotional outburst in the public,i'd sign it and put a date! He bursted out and started laughing! i also mentioned the verbal aggression bit of saying i will SLAP u, and his response was that it was a way of telling him that he's pissed and i said we would include it in the attestation that bioth of us would sign. at that point, i broke down again and started crying, i reminded him we both made decision to get married, hence he should not involve my dad as he threatened.And as u advised Jenny, i also made him understand that is left to both of to build this our beautiful r/ship and a spark of bitterness by d devil to destroy it! Alas he sobered and apologised too and promised me he would find another expression/code only too of us understand to use whenever he's angry with me!
@Ify: I never said it in that way, it was rather more of concern and sofly said but he misinterpreted it as ITK i know what i'm doing, meanwhile he was shooking d thing back inside ooo before my comment Yea he is the Lord of the manor i've decided to lay very low and let him have his way ,then win him back and jejeyly mould him like u said
@ CC/Analytical thanks for your contribution, i've called and we've made up, going fowardi would never let the sun go down on my anger again NEVER!
@ALL: For those crucifying JK on nairaland, it would shock you to know she's such an ANGEL! she's very much instrumental to the speedy reconciliation as she called me and we spoke for almost 30mins over the phone while she was advising me and it worked! Take time to understand her perspectives most times before u judge her! I love you sister and many thanks for being ther for me! please i'm still expecting your sms.
Godbless you all and may he always enrich us with his wisdom on this marital journey as the devil is seriously at work these last days to destroy marriages! Thanks y'all once again

@ Moremi, if i tell you what i call my hubby "i treat him like a king as addresses him same"
@Jenny my phone no is eagerly waiting for your call.Tks

@ Jenny: I ve been crying since i woke up like 2am till now! Please is there a way you can text me your number let me call you plssss! You seem to naturally get the drift i'm down and broken..sobbs

Incidentally, hubby does not have much friends hence hardly hangs out most weekends we are together at home chilling or we are out together doing onething or the other. Its a dicey one for me, as the real question here is that iwant us to trash this issue out as quickly as possible, we are not talking to each other now. The morning i travelled, i just dropped a note for him on the bed stating" i'd be working in our PH office from tuesday to friday" Tuesday evening by COB he sent text saying"confirm if i should come pick you" and i replied "dont come"
He has not called/text/bbm till now

@ Jenny: You just said it is and thanks soooo much for your contribution! I Love my baby

I LOVE MY BABY!!!!!!!! THATS MY BABY!!!