₦airaland Forum

Ezeama400:
http://saharareporters.com/2021/01/29/many-houses-vehicles-burnt-midnight-attack-ibadan

Who counted the hoodlums?..

Righteousness2:
What a mean way to end a young soul.

Gun men shoot!!
Gun men Kidnap!!
Gun men kill!!
This has become the new normal in the Land.

Men and Brethren in all these Killings, Bloodshed and Abductions, my greatest concern is about our place in Eternity.

In all you Do, Be Eternity Concious.
Live every moment with the Conciousness of your Eternity.
Make Eternity your Top Pirioty.

Eternal life in Heaven is only Possible with a Genuie Relationship with JESUS Christ.

I don't steal I don't kill I don't have evil intentions towards another. I have stopped fornication, I go to church whenever my work permits, I read the Bible at least ones a day. My brother, is it sufficient for a beautiful afterlife? I'm curious.

Ishilove:
Lovely thread.

God has blessed me with a heart like rubber band. Even in the face of difficulties i always find strength to stay positive. I remember, ten years ago, when my mum lay in my hands gasping for breath and battling with death, I felt a certain kind of detachment and calm because I had this unshakable faith that my mum would live. I called my sister, and on hearing the sound of my mother gasping in the background, she immediately burst into tears. That is only when tears came to my eyes too. I cried because my sister cried.

That's me. I become depressed when my loved ones are sad. I am depressed when I can't make the ones I care about happy. I am depressed when I feel like I can do more for others but am unable to because of circumstances. 80% of what I aim for in life is geared to making my family happy because I live for them. Without them I am a leaf blown by the wind. Without them I will lay down, close my eyes and not open them until I fade away to nothingness. My deepest fear in life is losing any of them, and that is what depresses me the most. The thought alone fills me with a horror so intense that I want to pull my hair and scream.

However, as T. S Elliot wrote, 'life you may evade, death you shall not.' I recognise the ultimate denouement of every man, but I also recognise that we cannot live immersed in thoughts of our failures or fear of things going wrong, or in depression that nothing is going according to your best laid plans. Biblical Job remarked in despair "that which I feared the most has come upon me!", so kukuma live life to the fullest. Take your failures, disappointment, heartaches, inadequacies to the jungle gym of life and use them as weights to build up your muscles.

We were created to learn and each experience should be a lesson, whether good or bad. It's hard, but chin up! Las las we go dey alright.

Thanks for this, for 5months now all I think about is how everything can stop existing, I come here most times to find solace and what will give me hope... I don't see need to exist but too scared to die. Does that make me selfish. I don't even care about anything anymore. Everything just falling apart . Thanks for this ishi

Life

Is this the present problem of the country?

Slimsly100:
Guy cool down o. As I nor die for year 2013 nor heartbreak fit shake me again o. I went home for IT when it happened. Funny thing was that the person I called sister was the reason for the breakup and the guy acted like he was under a spell, never gave me a chance to explain myself(though he later found out the truth, regretted and wanted to come back). But though I still had strong feeling for him I made up my mind to let him go.
Omo! Even my mum felt my pains. My little nephew of 5 then would look at me and say aunty are you crying because of your baby? I wonder what he knew then. I went back to school looking so thin me that wasn't fat before. Abeg matter long.
Try pick yourself up, mingle with people always to avoid depression.
It wasn't easy but I did it and survived it.
It is well

Thank you very much... I really appreciate alot..

CaraJewel:
this is not the answer............I don't need her answer,,rather I need yours....
would you really?

Yes.

PeachtreeReside:
Take it a day at a time.
You will be fine eventually.

Don't indulge in negative activities.

Thanks alot

grossintel:
The first thing you need to do is recognise you miss her, don't deny it. Don't avoid it, think about it and smile, cry if you need to, it's going to help you heal.
Now you might be tempted to call her every now and then just like you used to, this is the difficult part, you need to stop calling her. It's going to make you feel worse, I don't suggest you delete her number, but keep postponing the calls, like if you're tempted to call her in the morning, tell yourself you need to get to work first then you'll call her. When you get to work, tell yourself you'll call her during your break, just keep posting the call till you eventually do in a couple of days.
You'll notice you no longer have things to talk about when you eventually do after sometime, this is the healing process. Give yourself time, don't rush into another relationship, don't distract yourself with someone else cause you'll regret this move.
That project you've been positing for years, that skill you've always wanted to learn but don't have the energy and time, this is the best time to learn it. The idea is to keep yourself busy at this time, when you get to this stage I'm sure you're already feeling better.
Forgetting a relationship of this kind is not easy, infact you can't forget it! Ave been there, it's been 6 years we separated, I'm married now to someone I really love. But have I forgotten her? No! I still call her sometimes, she's married now with kids, but I have absolutely zero feelings for her now, infact if she was single and I was single I'll never option to date her anymore cause ave seen better and far more beautiful women, such is life bro. There is always someone better out there, that's a fact you need to accept.

Thank you very much

placeofallure:
Sure there is. We may think we have the best and so do not desire anything else until that supposedly best is taken away forcefully just for our eyes to open and see the vast expanse of stupendously beáutiful blessings lying in front of us.

I've never been heartbroken in relationships but I know it can be disappointing. You just have to take heart bro and brace up for the next challenge. You will meet your own.

While waiting for your own, do a self appraisal. Are there things she complains about that are genuinely negative? Work on making yourself a better person such that any lady will feel in luck to be dating you. Good luck.

Thank you alot

Maobichek:
Why? Why?? Why what did you see in the other girl that she doesn't have? Were you in a no-sex relationship with her that made you cheat on her? Does she give you sex only when you buy her a gift or give her money? My brother, sex is not everything, as you said earlier that she is understanding type, that is a great features not just sex. it's quite unfortunate that majority of our girls believe that sex is the only and most important thing a man want from them. You have really lost something good but don't kill yourself OK, Avoid staying alone and engage in things that makes you happy. Since the relationship is over, be bold and delete her pictures and numbers from your phone and your house. send me a mail or send me your number so that we can talk or chat privately, thank you and take care, you will be fine OK.

There is nothing I will say now that justify what I did.. I really don't know why and what made me.. but it was never premeditated... It happened and I regret it so much

Nkiruka35:
Sure there is happiness else where, i felt dis way wen d man i cherish most left me i felt d world have come to an end, i felt i couldn't go on with life anymore but with time everything started going off my mind
All you need now is time tho is not really easy but u wil be fine believe me
I understand how you feel but definitely you wil fine

Thank you I am grateful.. I will give time the chance to do the healing. It's not easy

ursullalinda:
Funny enough she might also be hurt but playing tough girl......I love your personality for accepting your flaws......don't listen to anyone that advises you to cheat more and don't regret your saying the truth either.......as u said we are all humans.......if she is matured enough to handle your flaws she will come back but before then you need your life back......go get it.......enough of the self pity......some people have really advised you well so do the needful......you will come out better and stronger.

Thank you very much for this... I have really received a lot of advices.. I'm thankful to you all. I pray we come back here to give a testimony of how life turns out. Put me in your prayers

CaraJewel:
want to ask
if she was the one that cheated,would you still be there?

Asked her same and she said she knows I would forgive n let go. But how come mine is dis hard

Tab4kids:
Let me tell you a story. I hope it helps.

So I just starting serving when i met him, not long after we started dating, I really fell in love with him. Some months after a very minute misunderstanding came up and the guy threatened to dump my as$. Come and see crying and beggin. He ghosted me for like 2 months. I couldn’t just imagine what my life would be without him. Those ‘little misunderstanding ‘ quarrels and ghosting didn’t just stop it, it continued and I would always beg or he would just come back after ghosting me and I would accept. This guy has ghosted me for a whole year before.

I was wounding myself and I didn’t even know. I spent like a year plus after service looking for a job, used my savings frm ppa to start something small, later God willing, he gave me a testimony. I took my mind completely off him and got very busy with creating wealth and carving an inch for myself. He probably realized this and blurted out was one day, in his usual breakup manner which i was now very used to,that I don’t respect because i am now ‘independent’. I told him not being with him or thinking about him has been the best thing that has evrr happened to me, because it gave me time to focus and stop chasing after a relationship that wqs never meant to be.


You just get busy. Getting busy takes your mind off the failure of a relationship and make you realize you have a lot to achieve as a person for yourself

Thanks alot

debbydams:
it okay I will.. But u have to work it out self.. D0nt underate yourself dont look down on yourself.. Your body is. Complete u are a fine man �..com'on forget her.. U will meet someone beta dan her x100

Have never looked out for any other girl. She was sufficient. .. till date I can't explain why it all happened

mariahAngel:
The nerve!

You should be asking yourself that question!

Nairaland guys are gradually feeding you liver to turn the tables abi? Now, it's her fault? Dang!

I'm sure by the time this thread is over, you'd have grown wings!

She is at no fault.. I'm just wondering

SweetCunt97:
mttcchhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! You can't survive it but u cheated on her. I thought cunt is cunt? While did u have to go digging in another cunt when u have a cunt you love? Pheeew. Carry ur cross.

Not every lady tolerates infidelity. How can I be chopping only one cucumber and then he's at liberty to chop different snails... Naaa not cool at all!

Was never intended it was a mistake

Digitalfinga:
get another gal as soon as possible to replace her,it will help u get over her

I am sorry I can't..

debbydams:
I understand everything u are going tru.. Believe me no amount of tears cn change anything.. If u want to cry pls cry.. U will get tired of crying �..pls i.know it hard but try nd let go.. U are a man ..pretty lady plenty weh want u jor

Put me in your prayers...

Phraences:
Do men feel heartbreak? I know i am being insensitive with this question but i just can't help myself.

I feel so empty emotionally.. as if I lost a close family member

JovialJune:
My point now is this, not everyone can tolerate a cheat, plain and simple, I for one can never ever tolerate it, she has forgiven you, but she can never forget, she sees you as filth and disgusting for going in with someone else, that is how I see cheats too, don't force her back to your life, if not you'd regret it, just move on.

Thanks... For being sincere

Notatribalist:
I was heartbroken by a girl I love so much..I cried my heart out that day even as a man o,lol..Guess what,after sometime we comeback together. Then I started asking myself why the cry in the first place?If I could see the future I would not have suffered myself with those tears.Same thing happened to my brother. Her girl came back few months after breakup...
Now what I want you to know is that if that girl is urs the relationship will comeback and strong. Sometimes we BREAKUP just to MAKEUP..Let this console you,just know that if nature wants you back you both will comeback, if not you will be surprise how you will forget about her with time.

Thanks.. really wish we come back.

jaxxy:
First it happens and it has happened to a lot of people and will still happen to many others for one reason or the other.

How to get over it? Same way we all get over any major relationships breakup. Look for other things important to u and invest ur self and time into them and as time pass the hurt or disappointment will reduce. Then try to gradually start again. Also use the time to learn from the past. At the end of the day u will become wiser and stronger. That’s one of the advantages u get from such an experience. U will be fine. Cheers.

Thanks alot

JovialJune:
No we are not, but she was faithfully perfect that she didn't think of ever cheating on you right?

I am not justifying my act.. I really deserve all I'm getting.. I'm only saying she should forgive.. if I was always a cheat why did we stay all 6yrs with no issues until I had to tell her my shameful act... That's my point.. I'm human.

Bimpsyyyyy:
Occupy yourselfwith something else, like work, I am a lady and ds is the second heart break I am going through, first one I used a song to get over it and this work I am using my creative talent I never saw in myself to get over it, you can work more, duplicate tiktok videos, visit Instagram , follow some funny comedian on YouTube, enjoy life go, nobody deserve ur tears. Mine too was almost 6 years and I am till standing, set standard for yourself and move. An unsuccessful relationship is far better than a broken marriage. Move on , we move

Is it that easy... Wish I could I really wish I am trying...

debbydams:
I feel your pain but i.dont knw that some guys still v hrt o.. Thesame tin happened to me some weeks ago.. It is not easy I cried so much that I started using eyes � drop �..just engage yourself with something keep yourself busy.. Meet people talk to people go. Out have fun.. A broken relationship � is beta dan a broken home �.to hell with her.. She doesnt deserve u..beta gurls full everywhere.. Pls your happiness is all that matters.. Bleep her

It's not as easy as that... I gave this relationship my all.. my day start with her and ends with her... I don't know where to start from... I'm just tired .. thanks alot... Life is just not easy to comprehend

nonstan:
How I wish I can call you, was in your shoe last year. see tips below
1. Allow your self to cry, don't hold it
2. Meet someone to rebound on, it helps you forget her, even though you will end up crying even when you are with the new girl. for what its worth you get to have a companion as at now.
3. Study or pick a hubby/skill, less time to worry
4. Perfectly normal that you feel bad sometimes, try not seeing or calling her, delete her pictures.
5. Lear not to love deeply again.

How can I do all these.. when my heart is so focus on wanting her... I'm sorry if I am weak.. buy I really didn't wish for this day and. Never repaired for it

firstratedcitiz:
Consider this the best advice you get here because I have been there, gone through what you're going through presently: (A) Bro, if you can help it, and if it can be possible for both of you, return to your estranged girlfriend and seek reconciliation and restart the relationship. (B) But if you feel the relationship has come to a point where I cannot be redeemed, move on, move ahead and never look back again.

She has made it clear that she can't. And have never seen her so certain.. I am just confused and wish I could find myself in the future feeling better

maak400:
You should have taken that secret to the afterlife. Don’t ever confess cheating to your woman, a man doesn’t do that.

I'm sorry

Mpchi:
No amount of words will ease the pain you feel now, try to do something that takes your mind from her (biking, hanging out, etc), also try telling a good friend how you feel, talking about it with someone makes you feel good. Now is a better time to invest in yourself and a time for sober reflection, note what you did wrong and try not to repeat it in your next relationship and also note where you excel in the relationship and ensure you work more on it... The best part of your love life is yet to come, I know the pain you are going through and you feel like your world has no meaning but this might be the best thing that happened to you when you think about it in a few years from now.... Finally, remember time heals.... If you feel like crying, please do... Ensure you don't bottle up your emotions...

Thanks it's not easy for me.

JovialJune:
When you cheated on her, you forgot you have someone that meant everything to you abi? Yeyenatu ni e.

Really are we perfect?