fm7070:

Yes, but if care if not taken, the disadvantage is overtaking the advantages.

African men should take their nuclear family as the first priority and do not allow anyone whosoever (even your mother) to toy with their feelings. Once you set this high standard, every other person will stay clear.

I had an experience recently and this was what saved me and my nuclear family. When the extended folks (my mom inclusive) saw that I wasn't ready to joke with my family, they laid low, I know for sure, they won't try to mess with my wife anymore, never in their lives.

2mch:

If you tell people your business, they will be in it. If you learn to keep your mouth shut, no one will know your business.

Gospel truth, preach it guys.

And fm7070 thanks for making your nuclear family your number one priority.

Too many people are doing the opposite i.e putting the nuclear family in the backseat while letting the extended one ride up-front it's just sad

brainpulse:

You av said it. It happened to most people i know, our mothers cook up bad stories about our paternal side so that the children begins to have a bad mind against them. it is when we grow up that we begin to understand.

Sound and valid argument.

But that wasn't the case with me ooooo. My mum didn't need to tell me negative things about my father's folks they showed themselves for who they truly were without her help.

They are not evil people as such but there are just people you need to be wary of.

Hey Liss,

The Tae-Bo work out videos were given to me by my sis I'm not sure where she got it from. I think she purchased it on-line and had it shipped to her. Really not sure

Check out health and fitness stores or video stores around you one of them should have it. A word of advice: go for the VHS ones, you know the old video system we were using before dvd's came out? Once a dvd gets scratched that's the end of it you can't use it any longer.

Be sure to get the complete package of 4 videos i.e The Instructional Work Out, Tae-Bo Basics, Advanced Tae-Bo and the 8 minute Tae-Bo. 1,2 and 3 are very important you can do without the last one.

Blame it on the green world products, body magic, and other gimmicks saturating the Nigerian market which promise fast weight loss results, while screwing us over and producing zero results.

The gym would be a boring torture for me  It's too methodical and routine. But thanks to Tae-bo by Billy Blanks and Bailomos Dance Class (on moloney street of obalende or is it onikan they call that area) I've found other ways to work out and have mega fun

Tae-Bo really rocks and so does Bailomos which will have you dancing to lively upbeat music of all genres. Ladies (and michelin gentlemen) you need to check them out their pricing is great and exercise has never been so much fun, hell it doesn't even feel like exercise at Bailomos.

Do our politicians have shame and conscience?

Laughing my head off that you would even ask.

I seriously doubt it. Did I say doubt?  

Let me rephrase: Hell No, they don't have an iota of shame or conscience.

That doesn't surprise me any longer I think we need a Jerry Rawlings of Nigeria who will not be afraid to rock the boat and turn things around for good.

naijababe:

. I hope and pray that your son's family do not say the same of you someday

Amen to that (am being sarcastic here).

I don't intend to or plan on ever being a tick who wears out family members with never ending requests for one thing or the other, refuses to be self sufficient/self reliant and plainly makes herself a big nuisance and just sucks out the life from others.

Did you read the part about my description being an honest assessment of the kind of relatives I have on my paternal side? A description which by the way is not born out of malice that's just who they are.

Shaking my head at your response/prayer. You should read in-between the lines or better still seek to understand before rushing to respond. You didn't grow up in my world, you didn't have to deal with the relatives on my pa's side so please kindly hush it.

Maternal all the way for me too.

My paternal relatives are like ticks, you know that little blood sucking insect that latches on to a dog and feeds on the dog's blood until it's full and then it falls away?

I'm not insulting relatives on my paternal side just giving an honest description of what they are like, without malice.

@ Long One and .NET

Tell me about it guys, thanks for keeping it real.

I truly appreciate your feedback, it's sound counsel.

I only hope I have enough sense to follow through on it, Lord help me.

Can I holla @ you guys on this forum for advice, whenever I'm having man issues? I hope so

Cheers

@ pendo89
WORD. Thanks girl

Cork Sweeeery,

I wear boxer shorts not thongs will that help?

You are such a j-a-c-k-a-s-s  just when a person thinks you are becoming lucid,

You turn around and fall your hand again.

@ dammytex

If you are a guy I would truly like to hear what you think about this whole issue of falling for someone who is already involved or in my case someone who is contemplating the possibility of getting back with an ex but still wants to maintain what's going on between us.

Women tend to be very emotional thus losing their ability to think things through clearly, so be good and holla back from a mature male perspective.

Cork Sweery so what should we do about your former relationship with Beyonce?
Do you have anything meaningful to say?
Can you for once be reasonable or at least act sane for a few minutes and contribute sanely like i saw you do on another thread.
I was truly at that. LOL

Dyt, LOL I don't do flings well. I've never been able to handle them don't know if I can start now in my old age
I am an unpretentious and passionate woman who feels deeply, a fling might seriously de-moralize me especially with this guy.

Dyt:

i hp u dont carry every memory along wit u sha cos smtys u ll jst find ursef lovin him more

That's my fear, the longer I let this brew in the name of ''I like him", "Enjoy the moment'', ''Make the most of it'' etc etc
I may actually fall harder than I have already. What a precarious situation can't help but laugh at me.

Aren't there any guys here with words of wisdom for a sista? I would like to know what their take is on this and what a good number of men mean or actually want when they pull stunts like this.

Is boarding school beneficial to children? Yes and No

Yes: Because for me I was lazy as a child, we had relatives and stewards at home who would cook, clean and wash for us. The only chore I remember doing back then was washing the dishes and filling the water bottles with drinking water, nothing more. Well boarding school changed all of that, I learnt how to wash my clothes plus senior students own. Fetch and carry water from a long distance, sweep/clean etc. Boarding school practically transformed me from Princess Lazy to Queen Hardworking and it taught me how to take responsibility for myself.

No: Because I was so miserable  for the most part in college from JS1 to SS2, can you imagine that. I was miserable because of the mean senior students we had, who still had power to punish you even in your SS2. I still remember a good number of them by name after all these years because of how cruel they were. In fact they were terrorists, there was no point reporting maltreatment in my school, as you are getting back to the hostel after class you will chop s-h-i-t, because more seniors would have ganged up to deal with you for reporting one of their own. It seemed like the teachers, principal and vice were all helpless or couldn't be bothered with what went on btw juniors and seniors.

Seniors had more power than the school authorities put together (and to think this was an all girls school) until we got a new principal who was even more mean than the seniors and had zero tolerance for their bullshit , unfortunately I was already in SS3 and couldn't benefit from the succour she provided to junior students, but she wiped the whole school into shape starting from her staff to students.

Having suffered misery for so long I am not really a fan of boarding school. But I think it will be a great idea if the school has a principal and staff who do not condone maltreatment of junior students by senior ones.

Okay that sounds reasonable.

Ooohh now I get it . Pardon me for mis-understanding I actually didn't see the part about ''nothing'' after the word stronger.

Well so what do you think? Do I stab this whole thing right now for good which is what I pretty much said to him last night OR do I enjoy the moment without s-e-x and totally blank him out when he leaves.

DYT, s-e-x within a few weeks of knowing a guy ? Common girl, he will just hit and run. It's not just a physical act for us where you do it, get up and go.

I have an emotional attachment to this guy it's so bad I'm afraid  s-e-x would ruin things for us, you know how it is with guys now. They are thinking one way about it and we are thinking in an entirely different way about it.

Besides I truly desire a clean relationship without s-e-x for once in my life I've worn that t-shirt and walked the walk, am just tired of it. I am not certain it really helps the bonding process, in my experience it sort of messes things up. I want to see how I can bond with a man in a meaningful way without the s-e-x

Am LOL cos at the moment this is the story of my life. Thanks Sijo01 for starting this thread, I just might learn a thing or two to help me with my situation.

I met this great guy recently whom I really like and have spent time with at a party, cinema and my crib. He will be leaving town soon for another part of the country, to take up residence there on a permanent basis.

I've been trying to make the most of the time and opportunity we have now, to get to know him and also explore the possibility of carrying on,this thing between us when he leaves. I am not a fan of long distance relationships neither is he, but I am so liking this guy that I have actually been contemplating the whole LDR (long distance r/ship) thing.

Last night, the homie revealed the fact that he had been in touch with his ex and there might be a chance of them getting back together, besides that his pastor/mentor/former boss was aware of this relationship and also called him about the same issue too blah blah blah. And then he goes, he doesn't want any of that to affect what's between us and he would like for us to still see, hang out etc.

Am like you want to eat your cake and still have it (something along those lines, I'm never sure what the right phrase is), I basically said to him if there's a chance of you getting back with the other chick then there's no point in continuing with us, becasue I don't want my heart broken. He made some remark about me not being willing to fight or give us a chance regardless of the ex, I thought that was can't find the words to describe the feeling.

Well there's been a turmoil within me since last night, because I really really like this guy but at the same time I don't want to be foolish. I don't think I have the energy to compete with an ex-girlfriend, and a part of me is thinking just enjoy his time and company now then let it go once he leaves but will that be easy? So here I am thinking what do I do? We haven't slept with each other so bear that in mind if you have anything worthwhile to say.