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Amen, bruv... Amen.

It's all about having fun with it and not taking it so seriously.

It is a game, after all.

KiidaACE:
Yeah you have to smile at some point but doesn't mean one should become a clown just to attract a girl..

You can be very witty and start a conversation without even smiling and get her laughing first before you do..
Being witty is about using something good around or on her to humorously start a conversation and one doesn't necessarily need to smile to start off, the smile can come later in the convo..

I personally don't walk up to girls on the street no more, used to do it back then but now I'd prefer to be in a sitting position and either summon her to my table or go over to her table.. This usually means i meet most ladies I know in eateries, resorts or bars of some sort..

Let me give you an example of how I met my most recent ex;;
I was seated in an eatery with friends and noticed her seated about two tables away with a friend.. Now, if I was alone, I would have most likely found a way to summon her to my table but since I was with friends, I had to wait for that window of opportunity to make my move.. Didn't take too long before I had my chance though, her friend had to rush out for some reason and I noticed she was alone and made my move..

I walked over to her table and just before I got there, I made sure she was looking at me cause I had my eyes locked on hers. Then I pretended I had tripped on something and staggered a little as if I wanted to fall down.. The move got me directly beside her though and this was the convo..
Her: Jesus!! Sorry, are you okay?
Me: without smiling; yeah I am, that was you though.. (Sat down on the chair opposite her whilst saying this)
Her: Me? Me how?
Me: You were the reason I tripped,, you should apologize to me (at this point, her eyes glittered and she wanted to say something but I cut her short and continued)
It's a shame I didn't fall though cause I'd gladly fall for you anytime anyday..

This was the exact point I let out a smile and she obviously caught on to the humor and started laughing.. Now she obviously wanted to know me more,,i could see it in her eyes.. We went on to see each other for over 4 months tho..

Look, what I'm trying to say with all this is, you can still achieve the same effect on a girl without being a clown for it.. You should smile yeah, but don't do it unnecessarily.. Smiling might seem like it makes you look a lot more friendly but it could still achieve another effect by making you come off as real creepy if you overdo it..
Just be witty, use anything on or around her to your advantage..
My 2cents..

Erm... No.

The secret of attraction does not start with smiles.

You cannot just go around smiling at every girl in the name of attracting them. Ko le werk.

Sometimes, it's even better if you're not quick to smile like fish.

cerpvad:
The secret of attraction starts with smiles. When you are talking to a girl you have not met before, don't dare to put on an unsmiling face.
A smiling face shows you are confident and makes you appear harmless to her. This makes her feel relaxed while talking with you. A frown face builds tension in her and makes her feel suspicious about your moves, most especially when you two have never meet before.

Guy...

Don't fall for this shit.

If you want more than friendship with her and can't stand being just a friend to her, then don't settle for being just a friend.

What I do usually is to simply tell them:

"I really can't be friends with women I'm attracted to."

And I do that unapologetically.

Usually, 1 of two things happens.

She either withdraws, which is perfectly fine cos you obviously want different things.

(And it's far easier to be with someone who wants to be with you than it is to waste time trying to "earn" her love and respect or whatever them boys here be saying. Women usually know from the beginning if they want to be with you or not so all them months of investment are a waste of time)

Or...

She codedly goes with your program because what she really wants is to be with you but just wants to know if you are a man who knows what he wants.

Either way, I recommend you let her know you won't settle for half of her when you want all.

Seriously, I had a girl try this 2 months ago and when I did what I said above, she went with option 2 and we later ...ahem... you get my point?

Try that though but be prepared, she might go with option 1 o.

I just feel this approach is better cos it saves you time wondering if, whether, maybe there's a chance that she will change her mind... like person wey no get work or future ambition.

Zealoy:
Pls guys there's this babe I love so much so I approached her and asked her out but she says let's just be friends that she's not yet ready for Relationship yet, pls guys what do u think I'll say to her cuz I can't stand being just a friend I want to be more than just a friend to her.

Every guy, at some point, has heard that line from a woman.

Let's just be friends.

Better scam.

She tells you that after 6 months of hunting for that ass while she's been busy kpanshing some other guy and expects you to go with it.

Okay, granted. She may just be confused (I still think she is most likely kpanshing some other guy)...

... and "doesn't know" what she wants.

Well... that "doesn't know what she wants" is bullshit.

(Women would probably disagree with this next part because of societal conditioning, and the whole double standard ish about women wanting to f**k being seen as sluts or whatever)

Because I know for a fact that women usually know when they first meet you whether there's a chance of her kpanshing/dating you.

Read that again.

The girl I'm currently with told me that after our first meeting, in her head, she was like:

"I'm going to f**k this guy (me)."

And she's not been the only one to tell me this.

So... why do they say that whole "Let's just be friends" crap?

Some of them even add that whole "I don't want to lose you" line to it.

Why the f**k do they do this?

I could give you a ton of reasons...

... maybe they're not attracted to you and don't want to say it

... maybe they're attracted to you and are scared

... maybe they have recently gone through some trauma or drama

...maybe they are at their "let's just be friends" time of the month

Bla bla black sheep.

It doesn't matter. What matters is what you do next because the one thing they do by telling you "Let's just be friends" is put the ball in your court.

Yes. "Let's just be friends" is a test to see whether you're a b***h or a Boss.

We all know how b***hes handle it.

They say "Okay, we'll be friends" and then go on to be her friend while other dudes are giving her the D on a regular. And they pretend tbey don't want her, hoping that ... maybe...

... just maybe, in the midst of her fucking spree, she will realize that he is "the one" she should be with and she will come back

Nahh... bish... nahhh

Grow some balls and get some self respect.

The question though is how do you handle the let's just be friends crap like a Boss.

There are many Boss approaches to this but I only know the one that works for me.

Usually, I would have told her that I'm attracted to her at some point before so when she says that, I simply reply:

"No. I can't be friends with women I'm attracted to. Besides, I have enough friends."

I know. It sounds ridiculous but that's what I do and then one of two things happens.

1. They're like okay and then withdraw.

This rarely happens though and even when it does, sometimes I still catch them stalking my Whatsapp statuses and messaging me occasionally. I'm like wetin you dey find?

2. Whatever confusion they were having before quickly resolves itself and they get with my program

They won't say that though but they will use style to sha stay on your radar and then come around for the D.

2 months ago, I had this exact shit happen to me and she hadn't f**ked in a year but somehow decided to come f me.

Do you know why this approach works though?

If you don't, let me tell you.

It works because by giving her that response you say:

1. I won't fall mugu to your foolish game

2. I'm a guy that knows what he wants and what he doesn't want and will never settle for what I don't want.

These 2 things are highly attractive to women (even though they will deny it if you ask them)

That's my 2 p on the matter.

I knew you won't get it.

That's okay. Come back and read it again when you level up and stop being a little b***h

eni4real:
What is this??

I get that.

But generalizing about an entire gender is not the way to go.

Because generalizations usually do not apply specifically to any one. Also, many guys won't be in relationships with women if all of them were looking for rich men with big dicks.

ayo84:
Dont trust women only the sapiosexual ones. Most of them are looking for richer or men with bigger dick
Even the ones that pretend to love you na awoof dem dey find
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LMAO.

As I live and breathe... a troll.

You're cute. But if you want to troll, you might want to come a bit harder (Yes, pun totally intended)...

You also sound a bit hurt. I mean, you didn't have to say shit but you did, which tells me something I said rubbed you the wrong way. I might be wrong but some girl has probably done you wrong and put you in this whole "Don't waste your time on girls" mode.

I get it, but here's the thing. Unless you prefer vaseline and sex dolls... or guys (in which case, this post is not for you), then you would actually think about girls and how you can get them into your life (which I suspect you currently don't) instead of just talking shit.

Also... what the f**k are movies from the Bleep universe? Dude, 1990 just called and they want their lines back.

And that last line should be "Stop wasting your time on girls"... You're welcome.

eni4real:
Your thinking revolve around sex.. That is why Vaseline and sex dolls come to your mind readily.. .

I am sure you are well inspired by movies from the Bleep universe

Stop wasting your times on girls.. Hustle.
Nigeria is a shithole!!!!

Uhmm... Bruv.

First off, you don't have her yet.

So get the whole "I don't want to lose her " shit out of your head.

Secondly, you have a bigger problem. You don't yet know what to do at the different stages.

I'm not saying this to diss you or anything. It's just that you sound a little inexperienced and considering you're also shy and from your tone in this post, I'm guessing this is the first girl in a while to give you attention.

And that's okay.

Now... From what you wrote, you may have dulled her or bored her and she may have lost interest (or found a new Bros to be interested in) which is why she is now acting up.

Here's what you should do.

Give her space. Don't call or text her for a while. Still say hi and all when you see her in class and all. Just don't be all over her.

Next, get busy meeting other women and learning how to hold conversation, and what to do at each stage - first meeting, hanging out at your place, getting her into bed (if that's what you want) and just generally getting comfortable talking and flirting with women.

Then, after a few weeks... If she has not texted you or called you by then, call her up and tell her it's been a while and that y'all should hang out. She'll most likely say yes. If she says no though, it's no biggie. Free her and continue doing your thing.

Still say hi when you see around. The last thing you want to do is do that immature malice bullshit thing.

Funny enough, if you do this, you might get her back or even meet somebody better.

Whatever you do, do it for you. Not as a move to get her back. And have no attachment to the outcome - whether you get her or not.

Also, for next time, know what you're going to do and what you intend to do with her and lead her there. Because most of the time, women won't take things to the next level. They expect you to.

Hope this helps

mrpoul:
I'm Confused, I Don't Want To Lose Her

There is this girl that I met in lecture theater, we sat down together, we chatted but it was concerning the lecture.

After the lecture, I disappeared because I'm this kind of very shy person, I didn't know what to talk to her aside the lecture.

So I saw her on Facebook, I added her and chatted her, up. It happen that evening I wanted to go eat in a restaurant, I told her she can join me jokingly. Surprisingly, she came, we talked but it was mostly about me and herself. After, we finished eating, I told her to come and know my place, but when she came I was nervous and she did not stay up to 5 mins. I told her we need to go, that her roomie maybe worried about her. The next day when she saw me in school, she was excited to see me.

After then our communication sucks, I will call her and be asking all this boring questions, before I know it, sometimes she will see my chat and will not reply. Now I'm confuse, I don't know what to do again. I don't wanna lose her.

What do you suggest I do from here? pardon my grammatical blunder.

Okay, I say "Don't overthink it."

Most Nigerian gehhs have this whole "Don't approach me" mindset especially when it's road things... And some of them can just be plain rude cos of it.

Just walk up, say:

"Hi, I'm (Your Name).. And you are?"

If your body language is right, 7 times out of 10, she will respond.

It's not mostly what you say. It's how you say it.

It also helps if you're in a playful, fun state before you approach. That will generally translate into your approach and considering that most women are bored, you will instantly stand out.

I once stepped to a lady who was smoking, asked her for a stick, and then just said:

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all by herself?"

And from there, I ended up dating her for 8 months.

It's not what. It's how.

JayCynic:
I need some advice from the pros in the section, I'm a reserved guy(not shy though) and I've been having difficulty trying to move to girls, startup convos on the go. It's always very difficult especially in Akwa Ibom State where Uyo girls are always carrying up their noses in the air and acting irritated for no reason. I've had cases where I grew the balls and said "Hi excuse me, can I talk for a second?" And they just walk past, it's crazy. I hate SM relationships as they are phony and fake. I'd really appreciate y'all advices even from the ladies (if any) and share your own methods and experiences

I'm not understanding...

Who said anything about hunting girls?

Also...

Would you prefer to spend on Vaseline and sex dolls?

Or would you prefer to actually be able to quickly sift the chaff from the beans and find a woman who loves you and wants to be with you... And just you?

eni4real:
A lady that you will still spend on
She may even be a liability sef

Save yourself from being magarized.. You can't gain anything from hunting girls... Nothing..!!!

Like a decimal, bruv

skywolf28:
On point bro

Ah... well

I already tried that.

It did not work. Maybe because what they were trying to cast out is just me.

bethyz:
All this one is just thinking about is women and sex

I pray today may you be delivered.

Yes o...

Or would you prefer we be pessimists because of woman?

lilwetdick:
every guy on nairaland is a motivational speaker because of woman

This might offend somebody.

I'm NOT sorry. In advance. Because...

With everything going on right now in Nigeria, especially when it comes to what Pastors and our "religious leaders" are doing...

... Fam, something needs to change.

Or else, more people will keep getting Fatoyinbo'd and nothing will happen.

But... I digress.

Let's get back on topic.

If you are tired of praying EVERY day and fasting and giving offering and tithe and hoping for a miracle that may or may not come, then...

...this new religion is for you.

The basic tenents of this religion are:

Identify the life you want.

Go get it.

End of story.

Too many times, we are busy praying when we should just get off our fat asses and go take action.

Because let's face it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

And many of us have been insane for too long.

It's time to go get the life we want. Especially now when you fit talk something one day and DSS can just comman carry you and kee you.

Yeah.

I had to learn through bad experience

healthserve:
Do not fall for that shio

It should... but they no get sense

healthserve:
This should make the national dailies

As in enhhhh....

NoGender:


Femi Falana should quote it in his case against the DSS.

Once upon a time when I was young, dumb and broke...

Something told me that if I offered my services for free, I would get paying customers.

(E no go better for that something)

Being young, dumb and broke, I decided to give it a try.

At that point in my life, I was consulting freelance for people who wanted to start online businesses.

I know what you're thinking. Online business consulting? For Naija?

Yes... like I said earlier...

I dinnor have sense.

Anyway... so when I put up the offer on facebook...

If you see rush...

My inbox wan full to overflowing.

There was only one BIG problem.

Nobody was buying. They will just come, ask what they want... I will give them all the advice in the world.

But when I talk money, they will disappear.

I was still doing this till one day, my mentor abused my life and taught me an important lesson.

There is a big difference between FREE and paying clients.

Free clients will come, use and then dump you when you try to get them to pay.

Paying clients, on the other hand, understand the value of what you bring to the table and they are happy to pay you for it.

I got out of that business but that lesson has stayed with me.

And hopefully it will now stay with you.

Bleep FREE. Also never do anything for clout (exposure).

If you can't deposit it in the bank or use it to pay your bills, it is NOT an acceptable form of payment for your hustle.

Amen, Somborri?

Here's something most badt guys won't tell you.

There was a time when they could not get a girl to save their lives.

Sure, there are some few guys who were lucky enough to be fine boys and all the girls were tripping from the beginning but...

... if you're like me, you are not a fine boy and...

... women most likely no send you just like they did not send me.

I would text them, call them, spit all my best lines but... nothing.

There was this one time I even bought a new outfit, got a new haircut, took a girl out and blew over 50K in one sitting just...

... so that she will let me kpansh.

She no gree o.

And that's how it was for me for a while.

Even after studying all the books... all the videos.. all the guides... trying to change myself.

I even... ahem.. (clears throat).... took advice from my few female friends on what to do to get babes.

Big. Fucking. Mistake.

For the most part. One of them told me something that sparked me though.

She said: "You keep trying to change yourself yen yen yen.... Why not just be yourself?"

Be myself?

It sounded like a new idea... like I had been held in DSS custody and I was just seeing sunlight for the first time.

And God sef confam... the sun was shining bright that day but...

... it begged another question.

Who the Bleep was I?

I couldn't answer that question.

It was shocking. And I was ashamed.

Through all the copying and cramming pick up lines and responses and what to do...

I had lost a sense of who I was.

The only thing I knew about myself were 3 things:

1. I was arrogant. (I used to be a geek and major I-T-K in secondary school... that first position level things)

2. I could be funny at times. (Most of the times though, people were laughing at me but... still I was funny)

3. I didn't fit in with the "popular crowd". No matter how I tried.

4. I was ugly. (Okay, I still am but now I have developed cute features)

So ... I decided to loud the volume on these traits and own it.

I decided to be me... just as I am. As bleeped up as I was.

I chose to show up authentically and apologetically as myself and if she really was into me, then she will let me kpansh.

That was my thinking and surprisingly...

Many women let me kpansh for that single mind shift.

And it had nothing to do with me having more money or suddenly becoming fine. (At some point, I was broke, and homeless yet somehow still kpanshing women).

So.. just in case you missed it.... the simple lesson is....

To attract more women, you NEED to...

BE
YOURSELF
AUTHENTICALLY
AND
UNAPOLOGETICALLY.

Do that and pussy will fall on you like heavy rain in Lagos traffic.