Beating a woman is very wrong. . . .
there are so many other stuffs you could do to straighten a woman up.

*Toyinrayo:



@post

Hell no. . . .run for cover. . . . .

I was only kidding. . . .av you forgotten this is just a "Forum GAME"?

Busy_body:

May God grant you solace and respite for your soul

Common. . . .no one died around her. . . .lol

Busy_body:

You see Tbag, before I met Toyin, I would have readily married a churchrat She is a bad influence on me

Busy. . .please tell me some more about toyin and church rats. . . .lol
also about the baba suwe too. . . .does he wear like a thousand sweater underneath an "agbada". . .
and does he "over-crack" jokes.

*Toyinrayo:

What are you trying to say?

Plz, my love is not a millionaire o. I no be ajebota like you and Sisikill

Are you implying that ajebota chics only fall for millionaires?. . . . .
No wonder that chic no even give my ass face. . . . .

*Toyinrayo:

LOL, tis was funny
I had a pastor warn me of "tasting the salad", w/e that means :-\
Lol, I seriously dnt trust naija pastors anymore.

Hmm, I rem. that song:

Omo pupa o o
omo rere
omo pupa o o
omo rere
stanza from "omo tun tun" song

So na omo pupa dey jolo to you? Not us omo dudu

This is crazy. . . .that you shouldnt taste salad?!. . . .na whaooo

! told me not to wear red. . .years back. . .and somehow, I bought it. I dont have any red cloting except a denim belt.

Omo pupa or not. . . .you know you are no 1 now. . . .
[s]Seriously, am getting tired of assuring you ur position oooo[/s]

Busy_body:

@ Topic

Yes, I have controlled and conditioned myself to only fall in love with millionaires ^{(£/$ only please apply)}

Hiya Ebony, happy new year

Yeeh. . .see control!. . . .
longer throat

@ Topic.

I dey craze!

Even if she use juju sef. . . .I cant.

Sure you bet. . . .those eyes are my new year wishes.

*Toyinrayo:

Lol, the Lord knows the plans he has for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you
If he says 16 kids, then he has plans for you to be able to take care of those 16 kids. Plans to give you hope and a future

You wised me ibeji (twins), and I said AMEN to that

LOL,my wishes this year is between me and the Lord.

Even if am as rich as shekere. . .werrin I wan use 16 do?
Except if they are all girls. . .that way, I make money from their dowry.

Okay ooo. . .I pray God grants you ur wishes. . .as long as they are right and gud for your heart.

Let me tell you what happened when I went with my mum to see one of her pastors. . . .
Firstly, you need to understand who my mum is. . .she owns a private group of schools in Lagos and hence, has a lot of pastors around her. . .most of them are parents also just trying to seek comfy zones in the school.

Now she forced my to this church. . .it was on a saturday. . .I had to cancell all appointments and miss Chelsea match that very day. . .

On getting to the church, the pastor prayed for me. . . .after the prayers . . .
He sat me and my mum down and told me I should be carefull of my association. . .
that I am being invited to join a cult and that getting back to school. . .the pressure from the cultists is gonna be stronger. . . .

I was amused and just looked straight to my mother. . .she got the message.
At that time, I was almost a management staff at a bank in Nigeria. . .I've forgotten about 9ja universities. . .

He also asked me to get pens and he will pray for me.

You can imagine me making jest of my mum for a long time. . .I told my sisters and my cousin too. . .
Ever since, I have been quite skeptical about pastors my mum rolls with. . .most of em just want favors from her. . .

There was one that told me to be wary of omo pupa. . .when I was just leaving secondary school!
and omo-pupa are the bomb to moi

liftedone:

[b]Being divorced, as I tell people, is not a criminal offence.[/b]Unfortunately, there's a lot of ignorance out there about divorce.

I would advice you to focus on rebuilding your life without your ex. I would not carry on with the mindset of reconciliation because it may never happen. Better to dust yourself up and move on with your life. Moreover, you don't want this to happen a second time, so prayerfully consider your next life partner.( And yes, you will remarry; why shouldn't you)
What I know is that partners in a relationship must be equally committed to avoid a scenario when one wants to take the easy road out in the face of conflict by seeking a divorce. There should not be a walk out clause in a marital relationship. God did not intend it to be so. But sadly, it still happens even among Christians.

Do not rush into a new relationship on the rebound. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself. Someone said good things happen to the worst of us. I would add that bad things also happen to the best of us. It's a fallen world. Just always give it your best shot at all times. Stay strong in the faith.

Yes. . .it's not a criminal offence, but we need to acknowledge the fact that people of such status suffers stigmatization back at home.

@ Poster
To answer you question head on. . . .Yes you can have a true love and an African again.
If a 40 year old, mother of four can have love after divorce,. . .then there is no reason you shouldnt.

Just make sure your head is tightly screwed to your neck when you find one and think about what went wrong the first time to make adjustment to the opportunity that will definately come your way again

*Toyinrayo:

LOLOLOLOLOL!! I wish you double iberin
Well, I say Amen to your wishes sha, but no double, just one ibeji. And not this year

Thats's 16 kids!. . . .come on. . .I dont intend to run an orphanage.
Maybe Ibeji too. . . .and definately, . . . .after my PhD.

Amen to my wishes?. . . .I never gave 1.

Oya tell me your wishes this year.

*Toyinrayo:

Lol!! Happy new year to you, sweetie

hmmm, seems like you know a few things about love and hate that I don't

Of course I'll take your hands. . . .to church to pray

Well, I aint gat nada about the 2. . .its just that I get to see the two emotions deeply than most people. . . .
I try as much as possible to understand human and behaviors. . . .
I read so much about PR and civics. . .guess I dont have to tell you am into psychology and philosophy. . .also, arts and music. . .all these gives deeper understanding to what we feel at various times.
and "YES U CAN". . . .to understanding it too

Common. . .must good women sound like my mum?. . .
Hell no to you taking me to church. . . .except you taking me there to put a ring on my finger. . . .

Guess what, when my mum called to say happy new year to me. . .she promised to call me on monday at abt 6pm in the evening (NJ time) and made me promise to pick it. . . .

You know what she wannna do?. . . .she's gonnna have her pastor pray for me. . .lol
I acted like I dont knw what she wanna do.

*Toyinrayo:

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO?
WHY DOES HATE LAST LONGER THEN?







Afternoon sweetie

Is this for me?. . . .
Well, if yes. . .am not too sure of why hate last much more. . . . .
but I guess its because hate is like a concluding shade of emotion. . . .
its like the worst we feel for someone and we tend not to expect anymore and at most times we neglect pple we hate.

This is unlike "love". . .when we fall in love, we are expectant of the happy ending like we are made to believe and at most times, our expectations are not met.

Am going no where, except you take my hands and lead me somewhere. . . . .

@ Topic

This should not be asked at all!
I love buka and if my babe aint gonnna come with me. . . .
she can as well go to whereever she wants and "slide her card" there.

Just wondering. . . . .

How about Masta playa's -----The one for me

I love that crack!

Happy new year to all. . . .
I wish everyone a blessed year ahead. . . .a year filled with happiness, good health, positive decisions and umimaginable breakthrough in Jesus Name.

Let's just make sure, we think positive and have a forgiving heart, laugh more often even in what most people will not find amusing. . .let's work out some more on our body conditioning eat healthy and pray to the almighty. . . .

Happy new year once again.

@ Toyin.
I wish you double "ibeji" this year. . . .lol
You deserve more. . .am only considering the not too favorable economy right now.

*Toyinrayo:

Lol, hope you didn't take me serious. . . .
even the person I directed it at, didn't

How far? Hope ise went okay.
Happy new year my dear

You. . . .serious ke?. . . .I know you like the back of my hands.
I was not at work today. . . .
been sleeping my head out and thinking of getting it right this coming year.

Hope youve done your resolutions?

*Toyinrayo:

Hey my loff



My heartrob, my sexy knight, my. . . .my. . . . .


Anywaz, happy new year

Huh!. . . .na waoooo
The heart of a woman is desperately deep!

Trust me love is more complicated than the US Economy now.

We all need to know that we are humans and prone to errors. . .that way, we tolerate and forgive ourselves more. . .
then. . .perhaps. . .maybe "love" can last much more longer.

@ Toyin

I was kidding. . . . .
do I need to tell you that you are my no 1 and only?

Love cannot be defined universally. That's the reason shakespear will give his and T-bag will give his too. . .
Love is an emotion. . .this is a fact. . . .another fact is that emotion is as a result of what we feel or sense. . . .
in addition, it is also a fact that what we feel or sense. . . .are in our environment and what we believe in. . . .
A fact also is that beliefs and environment changes. . .and I guess this accounts for people saying that. . .there is a thin line between love and hate.

Things around us can change.
Did you get the logic am trying to construct here?

This is an angle worth exploring, hmmn how could you fall in love with someone who is only going to make you his second best, unless he is ready to turf out the woman he initially married I beg to disagree, sorry we can control who we fall in love with

See I need you to know that human existence and behaviors could be depicted by what motivates and inspire us. Some of us love challenges while some of us do not. . . .some of us love being in the background of events while some of us love being in the spot-light. . .these kinds of behaviors says a lot about us. . .be it profession and to answer your question relationship too.

inspired_m:


Nice Contribution. I really can't phantom the Craziness about this Married Men Syndrome

He is NOT AVAILABLE on all the important days - like Valentine's, his birthday (his wife is cooking his favorite meal ), New Year's and Christmas. You get left out in the cold on all the days you should be enjoying.
What are you looking for - a spare tire? If he can't be there for you when you need him, why keep him?

Like I explained to Busy. . . .it's all about what we believe in and what motivates us. . .
and please remember, most of these married men. . .acts to these ladies they are available and most of them will even let them know that their legal families can be abandoned for them

@ Toyinrayo (I was even confused abt what to call you.)

Am good. . . .and miss you my no2 wifey.

To me love is just a deeper shade of care. . . .and care or the other hand is a shade of emotion. Now Emotion is a state of mind which is a reflection of our environment, association and belief.

inspired_m:


Most women who begin dating married men know right at the beginning that they are playing with fire.
It's NOT just fun and games,
The matter becomes serious enough to split a family and mangle the minds of growing children, There are many men out there who think with the wrong end of their bodies. He may be in it for fun, excitement, change or sheer variety, But for the 'OTHER WOMAN' (that sucks) life becomes very complicated

Another reason I think this trend happens is that most married men has cut-out their future. They know what they want from life and seems so comfortable and confident in the lives they lead already. Also, they make reasonable earnings which makes them comfortable. . .this is unlike most unmarried men.

These xteristics are some of the things that put a woman in soft zone when it comes to relationship. They want self-assurance from a man that can impact on their own. . .and the likes.

It's like high school girls aiming for college guys.

@ Topic.

If love is what they say it is,. . . .then NO.
Falling in love is expected not to be with senses and reasonable reasoning.

@ Topic.

I have heard some ladies say that "married men treat ladies better". . . . .they claim this is because they have the 1st hand experience with hadling or say dealing with women, . . .they tend to understand the women "wiring" better. . .

If you ask me, I'd say. . . .bullshit. It's just an unplausible excuse to do what is wrong. . . .but on the flip side of it, an older guy tends to act more matured in most relationship. . . .and we cant really control whom we fall in love with.

Ebony-Silk:

Is she sure he wouldn't do it anymore?

No, marriage is not a guarantee that both of them will stay faithful. But it is a responsibility/obligation that they both have to the marriage, and if that ain't enough, they both said a vow.

Ability to withstand drama. . . .so basically, you're trying to imply that since we're Nigerian women we should/ be able to withstand this kind of drama. I say No, I don't want a piece of it.
God also gave each of us a heart, we don't want it broken.

Seems you getting me wrong. . . .
I know you guys has got hearts . . . .am just stating a fact , an advantage u guys have that u can loose too. . . .
Marriage is just a ceremony of contract signing between a man and a woman. . . .but responsibilty/obligation can be achieved before a marriage. . .the fact that 1 is married does not guarantee that.

Ebony-Silk:

lmao. . . .you lucky I missed you die, I'd have knocked you out

I dont mind you knocking me out. . . .as long as its the kind of knock out I love. . .  

Abi naw. . . .the "dinner" kind of knock-out.

@ OgaMadam
It means u berra kneel down (greet, pay homage) to your step mum
Never knew u aint 9ja all this while
What's u nationality. . . . .just curious

KarmaMod:

Paternity can only happen after birth, people.

Good point.

Ebony-Silk:

Proud that he told her that he impregnated another woman? What should she be proud of? The fact that she won't be his first child's mother? Or the fact that he put a ring on her finger, and yet could not find the control to keep his zipper closed.

Plz, ojebi to so fun, because eventually she'll find out. It's her RIGHT to know about his scandal, he had to tell her, so telling her was his responsibility.

Atleast she'll knopw that she left "that" cheater. I just wonder how you men can be so inconsiderate sometimes. . . .so evil!

_{Anywaz, I dare not kill you, I can't o. More like sustain you}

Here you go generalizing again. . . .
The guy cannot be proud of his act while telling her the truth. . . .if he is sensible enough, he should tell her remorsefully and try as much as possible to assure her that he wouldnt do that anymore. . . .

If we are to dump evry ass that do us wrong in every relationship, then we might end up going out with every man/woman in our county before we actually get married. . . .

Being married sef. . .does not guarantee that there wouldnt be drama after marriage. . .and does that mean people should opt out of marriages straight without giving a second and as much as possible chances?

Ability to withstand "drama" or berra put, challenges is what Naija women has over women of other nationalities. . .it is believed that 9ja women are brought up in such a way to withstand and fix relationship and marriage challenges unlike others. . .but if 9ja women starts to think like foreigners by opting out of every relationship or marriage because of challenges. . .then, there aint no difference anymore.

@ OgaMadam. . .

No mind me jare. . .Na 1 fine girl give me the viral infection. . . .
Her name starts with an E and ends with consonant.

@ Ebony.

Ogamadam is my Nairaland mum oooo. . .she was there for moi when I joined Nairaland newly.
Berra kun le fun iya oko eeee

OgaMadam:

Love is a sacrifice Silly boy

but the hard truth is severely corroding the all important foundation of Trust and Respect is really
no way to enter a marriage.

You may be sorry but man, if i was D girl, i may have a lot to loose but i will seriously always watch my back.

After all they say, a man who learns to beat or cheat is like a dog that learns how to bite, it just never stops
(save for 1/2 percent of all cases)

Sorry, but you hurt her man. In advance that is, cause assuming you havent tell her yet.

talk to women, they will try and best predict her thought patterns and what the best cause of actions may be.

I know what the guy did is very wrong. . . .but we must all know we are all human. . . .
I seriously believe that this should make the fiance to start disrespecting and distrusting him. . . . .
I must also point out that Men are very much different from dogs. . . .so pardon me, your saying about the biting dog is not acknowledged in this cas.

Ebony-Silk:

^{Small? Same here, hope everything is alright at the other end. Got worried, thought those females over there did justice to you}

Loyalty sense my bum!! Please don't make an excuse for the dude. How would you feel if you and your fiance already set up a date for your wedding. Then you heard that you won't be the father of your wife's child. Oops, she couldn't keep her legs closed because she loved you oh so very much!!

I may be too young to understand all this romantic jagbajantis and love drama, but I am not naive. If I see that there's no need to waste my time, I leave. Loyalty sense my flat bum

I think it's best he leaves his fiance and try to deal with the pregant one. You know what they say, a broken r/ship is better than a broken marraige.

Like I said to OgaMadam. . . .we need to take into cognisance the fact that we cant really seperate human from our feelings . . . .be it lust, love, loyalty or whatever. . . .these shads of feelings are responsible for our decisions which could either end up as one or two things. . . .mistakes or great decision.
In the case of this poster. . .it was a mistake. But the question is that. . .Dont you think a decision made by this fiance according to what she will feel when she knows about this could be a great decision she will cherish and be proud of after marrying the guy. . . .am not removing the fact that it could be a mistake too if the guy continues to cheat on her after their marriage.

But leaving him doesnt guarantee she wouldnt end up being with another cheater and some1 with even worse drama?

Those girls cant kill me jor. . . .since u no kill me. . .

OgaMadam:

@T Bag

I am fine O. How are you my son? y did you change your name?

Nothing oo. . . . .my ID just depicts my mood.

Ebony-Silk:

^{How you dey?}

You left something out, even if she was pregnant, are you not going to go for DNA test to confirm if the baby was yours or not?

Anywaz, don't feel sorry for the poster either. That' what happens when men are not satisfied with what they have at home. I seriously hope the wedding does NOT go on. I do not wish this on myself, neither can I wish it on my enemy.
Who has the energy to deal with a "baby mama" and her financial demands? Abegggggg

How are you too. . .and I miss talking to u small. . .



That is generalization. . . .and moreover, from the explaination the guy left. . .I think he cared so much about the fiance. He just lost his loyalty sense for a couple of minutes and unfortunatly, those were the minutes he slept with the girl.

I believe it can still work out sha. . . .and isnt love suppose to be a sacrife?