₦airaland Forum

ToroJah:
Me i want to be loved by the right one too but the wrong ones keep coming my way, any help

Then love them right. Gracias.

enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

There is a saying that goes thus, u dnt knw d value of what u have until u loose it. Ur husband loves u so much, for u to ve such a man, love and respect him in return, satisfy him sexually when u can, and I can bet u, ur marriage will be made in heaven. In marriage whatever people say is none of ur biz, whether he goes wit u to d salon or to market, should nt concern u.

Dnt try to change that man, cos when u do, u will be the one that will suffer it. Many ladies are wishing to be in ur shoes cos a husband's love is d greatest gift he can give to his wife. Gracias.

I couldn't stop laughing at the comments I read so far, cos I tot I was d only one confused at this write up. Gracias.

madgoat:

I jst love ur signature, very funny.

Give it up for Ini Edo

My dear I dnt knw ur life history nor ur family background. All I can say is that there is no competition in DESTINY, whatever will be, will be. Gracias.

In as much as I don't usually comment on a thread like this, but I couldn't stop laughing as I was reading. Gracias.

Bundle of Joy, indeed. Gracias.

rattlesnake:
I need Argentina genevive

U jst made me laugh. Gracias.

HBD little one, I was only touched by Abraham Lincoln's letter which he wrote to his teacher's son, can't forget it in a hurry. Gracias.

In as much as I could hardly decipher what u were writing, but wen I finally did, i couldn't stop laughing.

And I read this story to the end, anyway I dnt knw what to say rather dan u threw away ur precious diamond while picking stones. Gracias.

nicerichard05:
[size=20pt]just one year and una pikin don big like this < that mean u Phuck am before una marry and u even give am nine months assignment. lol

anyway its non of my business, what else can i say but to say a very big congratulations to you two. [/size]

Is calculating d months of d year too difficult for u to do?

Happy Married Life to them.

ifyalways:
You sure you want that?
She/He is simply gonna flood the thread with Photoshopped pictures.

Once stretch marks is out, only laser can clear it out completely. Bio oil, ori etc can only do so little and over a real loooooooooooooong usuage.

What do u mean by laser?

Mekky05:
Its the same way that Protestants/Pentecostal families issue out there own order! I have 1st hand experience and info about this stuff,so Op chin up and go look for a wife. You've opened up this thread for peeps who don't have "wisdom" to start insulting and bashing the Catholic church. The rate at which pentecostal churches breed hate and rage for Catholic leaves much to be desired!

Sorry if I ve to quote u, but truth has to be said. The pentecostal churches ve no issue with d catholics or other denomination but it is d Catholics who thinks that they re more holy dan d other denomination. Gracias.

fabre4:
Catholics are too close-minded even to their fellow Christians they don't understand the meaning of unity and communal leaving .They are like the Jews in the bible they think faith is based on church and religion.

I wouldn't mind saying u re absolutely right.

missyadorable:
This op sounds like a weakling.Gosh!

Never u judge someone until u ve walked in his shoe. We dnt understand things dat has neva affected us. Gracias.

KanwuliaJara:
Life can only be "tricky" when something new happens UNEXPECTEDLY.

A man wanting to take a second wife is not strange in any CULTURE. African or not.

ANY MARRIED WOMAN should be 10 steps ahead of ANY GAME ON A MATRIMONIAL CHESSBOARD!

What is the OP trying to tell us?
That if the husband is out of the picture, she is A SOCIO-ECONOMIC nuisance to herself and children?

What else does she do in the marriage than BREED?

This is 2015 my dear.

A man or woman is FREE to say "I DON'T" any day, any time.

Advice?

Deal with it!
Na woman dey open NYANSH carry belle and "BORN"!

A man may just be a sperm-donor after all.

So, please tell me why the OP has a problem?

Because SHE FAILED TO COVER ALL BASES!

Whose fault is that?

HOW MANY AFRICAN MEN ARE MONOGAMISTS?
Including the so-called CHRISTO-SHARIA ONES?

In as much as u might have a point, u still ve to take it easy on d Op cos we all don't think alike. She only asked for an advice and not bashing. Gracias.

PhunsukhWangdu:
20-30, "The Golden Years" I call it. By making use of one's instinct, one can give birth to oneself during that time. But as well if care is not taken one can unconsciously murder one's instinct during those years.

Lols at ur monkier reminds me of three idiots. Hope u live up to dat monkier cos he was exceptionally exceptional. Gracias.

Harbosede02:
I never knew there was a theory that states that once an unemployed is forever an unemployed.... Pls ur thinking faculty is so so annoying.... So becos the other lady is jobless makes her less eligible to be ur wife??


Guys!!!!

I would ve stopped reading the comments until I saw urs cos d Op was already pissing me off wit his repetition of d girl being unemployed like say na d girl status be that. Gracias dear.

Highcuerayte:
I quite agree with you. But in the extreme when the husband care less whatever happens to the marriage then it rest on her if she have interest of saving her marriage.Or don't you agree?

Why am I speechless at dis ur comment? Infact am thrilled!!!!

My dear, u re not a bad person neither are u evil. It's jst a normal feeling cos my younger sis did feel d same during my own tym though she did not bear grudge against him. She was like how can I leave her and go, her gossip partner and all stuffs, even after my trad, she was so angry with everybody for letting me go wit my husband... But now she is so used to d fact dat am no longer there and there is nothing she can do abt it.
So Op with tym it will all wear off esp after d wedding. Gracias.

Coefficient:
You sound like someone who can do such to her spouse.

Too many sickening comments here. It's really baffling to see people blame the guy. I don't think it's too much to ask for emotional support in trying times from a woman who claims to be your wife!

Lols at ur first comment, if u read my comment so far u'll get to knw dat am nt in favour of d woman neither would I give d man a standing ovation jst becos he said he's own side of d story. Wait till u hear d woman's side den u can be d judge. Gracias.

richyblink1:
I chose her over others, besides, I am of the view that women are equally humans and as such need not be treated or seen as a subordinate(second class to men). My only concern is for her to understand that we are in the union to better us and not just her

She will come around, jst give her tym and mold her to be d woman dat u want her to be and u will see changes. Gracias.

Tallesty1:
Ok, let's assume he was treating her badly when he had money and she stayed without complaining, but she disappeared once the money stopped coming.



What does that make her

In as much as I do not commend d wife's behaviour, she only stayed waiting patiently for her turn knowing fully well it will come, if not now then later. Dnt forget, u can neva strike a man wen he has everything.

I love u so much Op, if nt for anything d way u addressed her in ur post. Ur type of man is rare to find and pls dnt mind us we women, we can go any length to voice our opinion. I sense ur marriage is still young and dnt worry with tym she will get over it or better still u will get use to it wit tym. Gracias.

In as much as I hate one sided story cos it paints d other as d villain but if I must say something, I wouldn't be so fast in judging ur wife cos u might actually be d cause of the problem.
women are d most rational being on earth, I want u to think bck if u ve ever wronged her while u had ur job. How were u treating her to made her harden her heart against u. Sometimes our partner's behaviour make or mar us either to be a good person or to be bad person. Gracias.

sihom:
You would have failed as a parent, if (God forbid) your children want to kill you!! Stop that crazy talk right there.

As a parent you can only do so much for your children REMEMBER children are human beings with a will of their own regardless of how well or right you raise them.

In other words, they have the power of choice like everyone else and they will choose to either do right or wrong. You are familiar with the Cain & Abel story aren't you?

Do you think Adam & Eve didn't raise both boys well? My folks raised me well and in the right path like the bible says, I knew the 10 commandments at an early age but when I decided to have sex none of that mattered.

I knew at the back of my mind that sex out of wedlock was wrong and I didn't forget my parents teachings I just chose to do what I wanted regardless of all the right things I knew.

Am I making any sense at all to you? I hope so because I hate it when parents get blamed for the foolishness of their children especially when those children are young adults and know better but choose to not do better.

Even our Creator gives us the free will to choose between Him & the devil, that free will flows to all areas & aspects of our lives so don't get it twisted. Those two idiotic boys knew what they were doing

Nice one dear, thumbs up. Gracias

Lolss, i couldn’t stop laughing at that albino pix

Op, i would ve continued reading but so far from d comments ve read it seems like there are more of children or should i say unmarried peeps here giving u advice on marriage, those people that thinks that relationship and marriage are on d same level.
A marriage guidance counsellor once said that half of the major problem dat couples normally face is financial management ie ability and inability to manage ur finance, that once u re able to overcome dat problem, ur marriage is 70% going to succeed.
Therefore at Op, i dnt knw how ur wife nags, i cant give a definite suggestion based on ur one sided story and i cant also fault d woman cos i didnt hear her own side of story. All i can say is for d both of u d sit down and strike a balance for ur finance, if she is working what will be her quota? And if she is not, jst knw d responsibility squares mainly on ur shoulder and u ve to man up and plan very well both for d seen and unforseen circumstance that might come ur way, but dnt forget to plan it together with her.
I would ve continued but ve got to stop here, wish u God Grace in ur marriage. Gracias.

GHoJes:
I'm not exonerating your wife, it is often said there's a reason for 'her' nagging.

From what you put up there i can deduce she nags because you are not good with managing finances, may be you are the type that must spend as long as the money is there unless you want to confidently tell me you married an insane woman.

From my screen, you dont speak of being responsible, much more to your wife who is close to your skin. The lifestyle you have up there says your pay is not so bad yet you are always broke, people who earn less are managing better. Why is it that you guys have get to the point of recurrently waiting for the next pay like your life will stop if it dosen't come in the next one week? You dont have savings, investments, future financial security in case of the unforeseen and you say your wife should not fear for the remaining days of her life from what she has seen these ten months.

She may have food to eat but just decide to rub the "brokeness" in your face to see if it will make you sit up. Man, you are no longer a bachelor that can live only for today, you have to make your family financially secure. Seek ways to improve on your financial management and stop using the word broke more than the jobless or a student. If your wife is better with management, keep ego aside and let her do the managing. Also assist her to get any small job or business. You get work, e be like this, naim be say you for run comot house if you and her no get anything.

Nice comment ve read so far, though am still reading. Op take note, will notify u wen i see another one.