Brother I know you must be feeling terrible now about ur wife, but somehow you should have noticed this trait before getting married to this lady.

My take is, this would not stop anytime soon, bcuz it's in built. This kind of woman can push u to do crime, she doesn't care how u get the money, as long as there's cash she don't care, and she will either leave u for a greener pasture or continue nagging whn the chips are down.
The onous lie on you

[quote author=Truckpusher post=37819435]Do not let any woman drive you nuts to your grave , drive her nuts until she locates her family house with speed.[/quote chei !!bros truck pusher ,you dey so ?,how market??long time !

BRAVAGAD0O:
Hello friends, 1st of all, I don't want you to see me as a man that involves third party in his marrital life/affair, am not that kind of man, in fact a lot of things go on that I rather let it stay in my home for us to sort or face together than involving family or friends but this challenge is really heavy for me to bear.

I don't really know what else to preach to her that I don't like her behavior anytime am broke ,for me it's a total turn off because it always makes me feel like am not being appreciated even with all my efforts to make us happy.

My wife nag anytime am broke or notice my pay ain't coming soon, all she does is play blame game like telling me all sort of story, like she never eat since last year, like she's not happy, that the marriage is hell because of just few days broke, and the few days broke doesn't mean no food for us, the few days broke doesn't mean I won't raise money to fuel generator talk less of some more important bills. I am just 10 months old in this marriage, please, real men in the house kindly advice me on what to do, if am the one being wrong here because I don't understand why she's always like that.

Lalasticlala I wouldn't mind front page at all because I really want to learn from all other husbands out there... Thanks

honestly u dont ve a wife

GHoJes:
I'm not exonerating your wife, it is often said there's a reason for 'her' nagging.

From what you put up there i can deduce she nags because you are not good with managing finances, may be you are the type that must spend as long as the money is there unless you want to confidently tell me you married an insane woman.

From my screen, you dont speak of being responsible, much more to your wife who is close to your skin. The lifestyle you have up there says your pay is not so bad yet you are always broke, people who earn less are managing better. Why is it that you guys have get to the point of recurrently waiting for the next pay like your life will stop if it dosen't come in the next one week? You dont have savings, investments, future financial security in case of the unforeseen and you say your wife should not fear for the remaining days of her life from what she has seen these ten months.

She may have food to eat but just decide to rub the "brokeness" in your face to see if it will make you sit up. Man, you are no longer a bachelor that can live only for today, you have to make your family financially secure. Seek ways to improve on your financial management and stop using the word broke more than the jobless or a student. If your wife is better with management, keep ego aside and let her do the managing. Also assist her to get any small job or business. You get work, e be like this, naim be say you for run comot house if you and her no get anything.

Nice comment ve read so far, though am still reading. Op take note, will notify u wen i see another one.

BRAVAGAD0O:
Hello friends, 1st of all, I don't want you to see me as a man that involves third party in his marrital life/affair, am not that kind of man, in fact a lot of things go on that I rather let it stay in my home for us to sort or face together than involving family or friends but this challenge is really heavy for me to bear.

I don't really know what else to preach to her that I don't like her behavior anytime am broke ,for me it's a total turn off because it always makes me feel like am not being appreciated even with all my efforts to make us happy.

My wife nag anytime am broke or notice my pay ain't coming soon, all she does is play blame game like telling me all sort of story, like she never eat since last year, like she's not happy, that the marriage is hell because of just few days broke, and the few days broke doesn't mean no food for us, the few days broke doesn't mean I won't raise money to fuel generator talk less of some more important bills. I am just 10 months old in this marriage, please, real men in the house kindly advice me on what to do, if am the one being wrong here because I don't understand why she's always like that.

Lalasticlala I wouldn't mind front page at all because I really want to learn from all other husbands out there... Thanks

honestly u dont ve a wife. a good wife supports his husband and encourage him during trying times.

nw hw r u going broke too frequently, is it dt ur wicked wife demands is causing it or u dnt ve a family budget or u r a reckless spender. whichever is d ans falls back at u for being a poor money manager n u need to work on it.

let me understand this, wen u r broke which family need cant u meet or r they wants.

finally ur nagging wife needs a job

androidroot:
let’s not over complicate things. If your wife is nagging you 24 x 7 it means that she is no longer attracted to you. Plain and simple. The good news is that you can bring back that attraction because you once had her attracted to you!

Do NOT REACT, instead LEAD her emotions. By changing your perception on your wife’s nagging and by being emotionally in control… now you can LEAD her emotions to what you want it to be. You as the man should INFLUENCE her emotions and not your wife influence you. If she is upset, don’t be upset instead be calm. If she feels hurt and scared, don’t show that you are hurt; provide protection and the feeling of security. Why? Because YOU ARE THE MAN. You are in charge of everything in the relationship. If you don’t take on this responsibility she will, and that won’t lead to a happy marriage. Bad for you, bad for her.

enlightening

Your wife may be under the influence of a very materialistic friend of hers. If that is so, even if you start earning N1 million tomorow, she will always nag when the money is down to N300K, as she will see that as you being broke, because she has to keep up with her 'friend'.

Think back to the stories she tells you in happier times of when her friend's husband bought a new car or phone for her friend. If she began to nag you for a new car or phone just around that time, discourage her from continuing to keep such a friend, or else you may not be free from nagging, no matter how rich you become tomorrow.

10 months! And you are complaining? Maybe because you are a newbie. I can see the advice of very mature people over here,if you are not planning to use those naggings as an excuse for other things,simple deductive and inductive reasonings will help you out if you are sincere to yourself.the honeymoon is over! You are in discovery dispensation,that naggings is to teach you some lessons not to frustrate you if you see it from that perspective. Don't play a revenge game,understand her personality. Somebody commented earlier homourously that if she nags whenever you are broke,then try not to get broke.it might not far from the truth,may God give you wisdom.

[b]Hmmm, my brother I understand ur feelings but there is nothing you can do, I can't advice u to break ur marriage.
My advice:
1. Let her know ur salary cos she might think u are earning 100k while is just 30k.

2. Let her know how you are spending the money because she might think you still have enough money in your account maybe you are stingy.

3. When you collect your salary ask her what she needs and your own need for the month how she wants the money to be spent .

4. DON'T BE TOO SECRETIVE IN MARRIAGE IT CAUSES MORE PROBLEM

5. Tell her how you are feeling anytime she nags about money don't assume she knows ur feelings

GOD WILL HELP OUR MARRIAGE!

the basic definition of a wife is a "helper".

if the wife is not helping in your hour of distress what then is her role?

her problem may be far rooted than you may imagine, check her family background, was she raised in a dysfunctional home?

what was her mother's role in the family or one that play a mother's role in her life?

it might be her defense mechanism that kicks in unconsciously out of fear of poverty.

was she always like this before the marriage?

if yes, teaching an old horse new "tricks" won't be easy, but nothing is impossible if you believe you can do it.

all these may not hold true if she is pregnant, which makes some ladies exhibit funny characters.

Brother its just stages in marriage. U guys are just 10months into this game. Now get it,
1 its not always rosy.
2. Life go teach am lesson.
3. She go tire to nag one day.
4. There aint a better woman out there.
These gals appear to understand u and even think what u think until u make them ur wife.
5. Nature uses some of those attitudes of these wives to put men on their toes and make them hustle more.
Dont divorce, dont listen to négative advice, just keep moving on and Very soon u will celebrate ur silver jubilee , u will look back and rejoice how she has made u a better woman

Bollinger:


All those moro.ns who liked your post should be flogged. It is absolutely normal for a wife to nag if her husband cannot fulfill his manly duties. If anything it should motivate a man to do better. You must be single.

yea am.fvcking single



#YOLO

clemz85:


what is #yolo pls?

You only live once

#YOLO

ststyreal:

Please, don't call someone's wife a gold digger. He saw her the way she was before he proposed and finally married her. Courtship period is not a guarantee time to know your partner well enough but marriage is. Oga, it seems madam isn't working hence her nagging whenever she is broke. Most people gets angry whenever they r broke, even I oftenly get sick whenever am broke, so her case isn't difference, only u have to device a means of teasing and calming her. Go on a serious talk with her, and let her get something doing so as to feel the stress associated with making money, so that next time before she nags she will remember it isn't easy to make money in Nigeria. My humble suggestion tho.

Tank you ma

#YOLO

Get her a job or business so that she can contribute too and feel the pain....

Truth is bitter but its the truth...this thing called love has sent so many young men early to their graves...Ask Romeo

Poseidon000:
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If I am you. I won't give room for such nonesense. She either stop or we end the marriage.

It is really pathetic that you find yourself with such woman.
I don't like divorce but I won't advice you stay with such woman who is so money centered.
It's just like sleeping in same room with a snake.
If you ain't careful. It will harm you one day.
I am 90% certain that your wife will abadon you when things goes awry(God forbid) and she strike me like a person who may cheat or betray you.

You need to seek your inner self and ask your self,if you wanna build your future with such insensitive woman.
If it comes out yes.then talk to her about such attitude and it effect on you. If she continues.

I strongly recommend you leave that woman. Even you don't feel the effect now. you can't escape it when you get past your productive days.(When you turn old man).

Please be careful with that woman. She is a potential snitch.
[/size]

Women don't know that when they nag it affects the man's body, spirit and soul.
It makes him feel unappreciated and incompetent every single time and that's what every man hates.
My question is has she always been like that or its a new habit she just picked up?
If the later is the answer then watch the kind of friends she keeps. They may be the ones telling her what to do or say. Or it could also be that she wants to be on the same level with her friends material wise.
And if she has always been like that before you proposed and eventually married her, then see that aspect of her's as a CROSS you will have to carry. Every marriage has its Cross. I can tell you Love your wife and will do anything to keep this marriage of yours. My advice is NEVER let her nagging about money push you into things you will end up regretting. Communication is Important and Pray without ceasing.

Thats how women r..when d money is flowing they r hapi but when money seems to b hard to get lately,they start acting awkward bcoz no money

WOMEN=MONEY

lastpage:


LOL at 'appearing poor'!

@Op:
Maybe she is the "nagging type" naturally and you only realise/appreciate her nature when you are broke because then, you are "sensitive" to the signs of nagging?

But on another note, they say "marriage is like a marathon race, starting well ahead does not mean you will win it or even complete it but starting bad is even worse......... a non-starter"!

My drift is that if just after ten months your wife is already nagging about your finances when you are "temporarily broke"..... what will happen if God forbid, you like some men l have seen in life, lose your job or source of income for years? She will divorce you then, if we go by this trend!

But let me ask you: How did you end-up not knowing this trait about your wife, during courtship?
*Did she just develop the habit now or you were just too 'pussy-whipped' to notice?
*Were you never "low on cash" during courtship..... what was her reaction then?
*Have you sat her down (l read what you wrote about the "preaching" to let her know that if things continue this way, it is a "deal breaker" and none of you will live a happy life? (beware of the "pretence stage" in that scenario as women are noted to pretend until they have say one or two children as they want.... and then show their true color afterwards.... and then it will be too late for you, the man)

If you dont have children yet in this "baby-marriage" of yours, l THINK THIS IS THE TIME TO "TAKE A STEP BACK AND REFLECT SERIOUSLY"! CAN YOU GO THROUGH THIS SORT OF THING FOR THE NEXT SAY FIFTY YEARS OF YOUR LIFE?
The problem that is rearing its head now wont go away and it would be a nightmare for a very, very long time..... that is if you live long enough to go through the suffering.

Finally, only you can decide what to do next because you are the one "wearing the shoe and knows how it hurts and whether you can endure it".
You know your wife "best" and only you can say whether this is the begining of a nightmare or just a temporary phase
It is you that will bear the brunt, if it gets worse, for the rest of your life........ so the "big decision" is yours.

I just hope other younger men will learn from your own experience ...... but Men are not wired to learn, when it comes to the issue of women/marriage!

Marriage gets less appealing more and more as the day goes by..... the alternative is to just "live together and have children" but not with the "lurking dangers" of a marriage certificate that a man will experience, when the shyte hits the fan later.

I wish you well.



Lastpage!

oga na d only way sure pass
Ladies re after rich guys now. . .they dont care if u re handsome or uglee.
#We cant trust dese beetches


#YoLO

It's so simple bro.... keep getting money, find a way outta ur being broke, brokeness state. .

onoja12:
Gbam,i always tell guys this.if you get girl friend you want to marry form broke for 1 year,if she stay with you na your wife if not.,guy run

u re 100% correct. . .ladies re like flies
dey follow money like sh!t. . we its no longer der. . .dey flee.


#YOLO

sonofananimal:
bros! Sometimes this thing no dey work ohh. She go even follow you play that play ohh even play the script as if na she write am.
Nowadays women don wise up ohh, them too dey do deep research about that person too.

na true u talk sha. . .i reason am too

#Yolo

Good talk..... from a lady

Ginaz:
hmmmm, that's some kinda bad character she has. its obvious she doesn't knows what she's doing in her marriage, and things like this isn't good.

I think you should let her know the effect her nagging is having on you, you shouldn't just sit there and bottle your feelings inside.

its obvious that her personality is to satisfy her needs, you shouldn't blame her. people have different personality traits and they get afraid if their needs are not met. you should understand her rather than taking it to heart. she wants comfort and she get satisfaction from it, its like her life necessities, and when not met she panics.

she won't stop it, she'll keep nagging. you can help by taking her to see a councillor or talk sense to her. I mean a mature heart to heart kind of conversation, she will feel bad by putting you through emotional turmoil and might stop.

also, let her know condition of things on time so that she can cope when times money isn't available,by so doing, she won't nag much.

I understand your plight, its not a good feeling when you do everything to please someone but they take them for granted.

whenever she starts nagging, you can go out and cool down. dont sit there with her nagging her head off at you, if you ain't there, the nagging will stop.

Get her something doing anytime you are on bucks...

The men in dis forum are indeed wonderful. I hope u ll take ur tym to read what they wrote and make a wise decision may GOD give u wisdom to put tinz in d right shape

zomoears:


Very sensible post...would v sounded better without d use of d "b" word.

Only way to know who loves u for real is to appear broke. Her true colors will shine thru in difficult times.

A friend of mine, a banker, was suspended pending investigation of an alleged fraud.guy man sold one of his cars, set up a shop, and tried to make ends meet. After 7 months of no banker's salary, his wife took off with d 2 kids. He was recalled last month, and now d wife wants to return. If na you, wetin u go do?

i wl neva accept her back.
cos she jst displayed who she truely is.
When they see u re kinda broke. . .they feels thats your permanent downfall.
Honestly these ladies thinks like babies atimes!


#YoLO

Some women do not really understand how this life works. It must not be all rosy all the time.

GHoJes:
I'm not exonerating your wife, it is often said there's a reason for 'her' nagging.

From what you put up there i can deduce she nags because you are not good with managing finances, may be you are the type that must spend as long as the money is there unless you want to confidently tell me you married an insane woman.

From my screen, you dont speak of being responsible, much more to your wife who is close to your skin. The lifestyle you have up there says your pay is not so bad yet you are always broke, people who earn less are managing better. Why is it that you guys have get to the point of recurrently waiting for the next pay like your life will stop if it dosen't come in the next one week? You dont have savings, investments, future financial security in case of the unforeseen and you say your wife should not fear for the remaining days of her life from what she has seen these ten months.

She may have food to eat but just decide to rub the "brokeness" in your face to see if it will make you sit up. Man, you are no longer a bachelor that can live only for today, you have to make your family financially secure. Seek ways to improve on your financial management and stop using the word broke more than the jobless or a student. If your wife is better with management, keep ego aside and let her do the managing. Also assist her to get any small job or business. You get work, e be like this, naim be say you for run comot house if you and her no get anything.

Sir you nailed it perfectly with your post. This is definitely the most sensible reply I've read on this thread

ogawisdom:

honestly u dont ve a wife. a good wife supports his husband and encourage him during trying times.

nw hw r u going broke too frequently, is it dt ur wicked wife demands is causing it or u dnt ve a family budget or u r a reckless spender. whichever is d ans falls back at u for being a poor money manager n u need to work on it.

let me understand this, wen u r broke which family need cant u meet or r they wants.

finally ur nagging wife needs a job

You are a bad adviser and probably a bad friend. It is your type that will make a brother or cousin leave his wife. So many people advising on this thread like they are giving advise for bf/gf matter.

Op, i would ve continued reading but so far from d comments ve read it seems like there are more of children or should i say unmarried peeps here giving u advice on marriage, those people that thinks that relationship and marriage are on d same level.
A marriage guidance counsellor once said that half of the major problem dat couples normally face is financial management ie ability and inability to manage ur finance, that once u re able to overcome dat problem, ur marriage is 70% going to succeed.
Therefore at Op, i dnt knw how ur wife nags, i cant give a definite suggestion based on ur one sided story and i cant also fault d woman cos i didnt hear her own side of story. All i can say is for d both of u d sit down and strike a balance for ur finance, if she is working what will be her quota? And if she is not, jst knw d responsibility squares mainly on ur shoulder and u ve to man up and plan very well both for d seen and unforseen circumstance that might come ur way, but dnt forget to plan it together with her.
I would ve continued but ve got to stop here, wish u God Grace in ur marriage. Gracias.

As I don't have friends and families to wish me happy birthday as most of them will forget.

I have decided to wish myself a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


Sept 9 pikin

Poseidon000:
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Lol..I really had to laugh on the embolded. Anybody who knows me, know that I am a realist.


There is no difference btwn Op's wife and this woman>>www.nairaland.com/2583131/prince-james-uche-sick-bed


Betrayal is not all about finance,but finance instigate the other form of betrayal. Any money centered person, is very dangerous to be with.


I can't be with such person,even he/she happen to be my brda or sis.
[/size]

Hmm so you advised him to leave his wife and what next?? move on to another woman who may b another gold digger? (shebi na una say all nigerians gal na money dem need from una)...so who is kidding who They should try and work things out first, before considering quitting. So if ur sister or brother like money, u go ''de-sibling'' am, it is wa o.