₦airaland Forum

More power to your *censored*

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time

Or if you aren't a politician

rentAcock:
10 Years ago, I met a guy in Mile 2 Lagos claiming to have a Time Machine for sale. The guy was wearing a Brooklyn Nets cap with an Iwobi Nigerian Jersey with the number 18 but nobody looked his way nor did they even know what he was selling. As a person who've watched several sci-fi movies like Back To the Future, Groundhog Day, The Terminator, Austin Powers movies etc I was interested and I approached him. I'm an avid basketball fan and I know back then, Brooklyn didn't have a basketball team while Alex Iwobi was probably just 12 years old and definitely not playing for th super eagles. But as of today, Brooklyn has a basketball team and Iwobi is a starting player for the Super eagles.

I asked him about this big clunky stuff he was selling and he told me it was a time machine but he wants to get rid of it. I thought it was funny and I asked him how much it was, he said N10,000 but we agreed to N500. Honestly i just thought the guy was homeless and in need of money. Fast forward 3 years later, the New Jersey Nets relocated and become known as the Brooklyn Nets, man I freaked out because I could remember clearly that guy had a Brooklyn Nets hat which i thought was probably Aba made at the time. Then in 2015, Alex Iwobi joined the Nigerian national team that was when it dawned on me that I had met a time traveller and did not know it. But of course I was still skeptical, but in 2016, I decided to test out this time machine during the US elections and I was only able to travel 24hrs into the future, so I waited until election day Nov 8th and I could vividly see CNN announcing Donald J Trump as the President Elect and people were in shock. When I returned back to present time, I thought it was just a bad dream as there was no way Trump could defeat Clinton, well the time machine was right.

So enough with the long tales. I tried out my Time travel machine this morning and you won't believe it, Nigeria beat Croatia 1-0. It was like a mirage, I think the machine is getting rusty because I can see and feel things around me but everything is a bit blurry, even though people can see me, they say I appear like a hologram. Anyway let's see if this time machine proves true one more time, although I don't plan to use it often because I notice I get migraine, blurred vision, nausea and vomiting. Traveling at the speed of light does mess up your body. If the result turns out to be right, I will sell all my father's properties, liquidate my assets and empty my bank account and make a killing sport betting the next game.

It's looking real bruh

But all this grammatical ibeberism

Here we journey to the front page

Dry......except for d imagine that own

It's actually six and a half

Eni duro

I am a scout member. So, with my training, I barged in and got the man arrested. We saw Lateefat on the bed; she could not stand. We took her to a hospital and handed the man over to the police.”

This one got me cracked up...

Why is everyone so excited about the #RoyalWedding?? Haven’t you learnt anything from Game Of Thrones?

belente:
I no see Tammy Abraham why

Loool....Tammy who? Baba no fit make friendly squad sef

This squad isn't even star studded as we know England to be

Squad in full
Goalkeepers

Jack Butland, Jordan Pickford, Nick Pope

Defenders

Trent Alexander-Arnold, Gary Cahill, Phil Jones, Harry Maguire, Danny Rose, John Stones, Kieran Trippier, Kyle Walker, Ashley Young

Midfielders

Eric Dier, Dele Alli, Jordan Henderson, Fabian Delph, Jesse Lingard, Ruben Loftus-Cheek

Forwards

Harry Kane, Marcus Rashford, Raheem Sterling, Danny Welbeck, Jamie Vardy




https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/05/16/englandworld-cup-squadannouncement-live/#update-20180516-1409

My hot 5 lite got damaged by water thus making d screen go blank..... Pls like ow much shld I budget for d change of screen?

Bro....I guess u must ve finished ur program with dexter and heroes....I'm about enrolling wit them....please what's ur take? Is their certification ok?

G.O.A.T

Great points..... Already having testimonies

Baawaa:
I hope you still have parent and they are Christians,tell them your intention and hearken to their instructions.

See what we are talking about here! SMH

Go and ask Jesus Navas and Gabriel Jesus

like what else do you want?

As in it's really an eyesore.

There are speculations suggesting that the internet scammers are Nigerians

Some tweets

Lazio pay Feyenoord their final €2m instalment for Stefan de Vrij.

Feyenoord claimed they didn't receive it...

Lazio realised they had sent the money to a fake e-mail.

Lazio then confirmed they had sent €2m to Internet scammers.

https://twitter.com/Sporf/status/979071743158603776?s=19

Corps members serving in Federal Capital Territory in Friday put smiles on the faces of students of FCT school of blind, Jaji area, Abuja.

The Corps members who are members of Sustainable Development Goals Community Development Service group trooped out en mass to donate food items, provisions,clothes and other materials to the pupils of the school.

President of the Skills sub-group of SDGs, Uche Melvin Ohuonu, whose group organized the outreach, expressed how passionate and concerned the members of his group are to make sure that all the goals of Sustainable Development Goals are achieved. He added that the outreach was to appreciate the brilliance and special in-built talents possess by people with disabilities.

He said, “we are here today to let you know that there is always ability in disability and you’re also very important as your colleagues outside there. Your brilliance, talents and intellectual capabilities are also needed to develop our nation.”

Ohuonu charged the pupils to remain committed to their learning as the outside world is waiting to see them explore in the shortest time possible.

Speaking earlier, one of the NYSC schedule officers for SDGs in FCT, Mr. Tunde Omokri appreciated the management of FCT school of blind for their cooperation and also revealed that NYSC is poised to making life comfortable for everyone in the society.

Omokri stated that the partnership of NYSC with SDGs has been a very productive one and has helped the country in her bids towards the actualization of the world target of 2040.

While Appreciating the NYSC SDGs group for the kind gesture extended to the school, the Assistant Headmaster (Admin), Mr. Isaac Ikpangetor said the school does not believe in any disability as they have nurtured and still nurturing future leaders.

He urged parents whose children fall in to the same category with those in the school and are still hiding the pupils to home to bring them to the facility and everything in the school is free.

He said “Please Corps members, help us preach it to the hearings of those parents that are still keeping their wards with this challenge at home to shun sentiments or inferiority complex and bring them here for a brighter future. Everything here is free including food and dress”.

Apart from the gify presentation, other programmes featured at the event were talk show, display of talents and interactive session between Corps members and pupils of the school.

https://insightlinks.net/2018/03/17/corps-members-take-sdgs-advocacy-to-school-of-blind-put-smiles-on-their-by-donating-items/

Me no fit enter that Honda jet oo..people wey there tire dey turn anyhow dey go do jet

Absolutely fantastic freekick from Lionel Messi, baba dey score oo

18Alba J. 18Costa D.
5Busquets S. 3Filipe Luis
14Coutinho 14Gabi (C)
8Iniesta A. (C) 24Gimenez J.
10Messi L. 2Godin D.
3Pique G. 7Griezmann A.
4Rakitic I. 6Koke
20Roberto S. 8Niguez S.
9Suarez L. 13Oblak J. (G)
1ter Stegen M. 5Thomas
23Umtiti S. 16Vrsaljko S.

Official line up

Score predictions?
Barca 1 vs 2 Atletico

Cadec007:
haba! Bro don't you love ur mother, gf/wife. And sister at the same time?

One love go pass another

Miremoses1:
This thread can't move to fp, unless you post with a link.

Done. U b barca fan abi