₦airaland Forum

dynamite11:
My problem started shortly after our wedding this year, and ever since its like I'm in a versus kind of relationship( I versus my wife and her family). She is so controlling, she knows all of our business my wife makes sure she keeps her up to date on every little details that goes on in our lives and she is never out of our lives not even for a week and I think my wife is ok with it because her mother can never be wrong.

She worships her either she is right or wrong, she is always visiting every weekend and sometimes stays with us for a week or two only to come back the following weekend saying she misses us, when I got married to my wife I didn't ask for a bonus, I don't know why we can't be left alone, and the worse part of it is that she comes with other family members and we always have a full house, I'm an introvert and I love my privacy but with my mother in-law I will never have that. I have become sad over the past few months and it's affecting my home because I can't even talk to my wife anymore because she is her mother's ear piece, I'm losing my sanity, she is coming over this weekend and I think I just need to go on a vacation alone this summer to clear my head. Have you ever had this kind of problem before? I need help please.

chocolateme:
I have often wondered this because aside the court of law deciding who takes custody of a child or who is fit to raise the child between man and woman, what role does the tradition play in the same case?

Now lets say a case of a guy who impregnated his girlfriend and they broke up, who takes custody the child? Or that he denied the pregnancy and later came with his family to claim the child. Now many cultures and ethnic interests clashes on this issue because some believes that the child must remain with the guy while others believe that as long as bride price wasn't paid on the girl, that they have no right over custody of the baby. Its really very controversial.

In the case of divorced couple, the man keeps his kids but what if he returns the bride price, who takes custody of the kids?

Any rational and fair solution to this case because it has been tearing families and relationships apart?

Some guys have extremely high libido and are fascinated with the female form. Funny thing is that some guys actually brag about chasing girls to 'feel among' or out of fear of being termed a 'dulling guy' not necessarily because they lack self control......peer pressure huh

On a side note, using terms like sexy/pretty/ero̅tic/hot/sugar or sleeky as part of your moniker/user name may seem cute to you, but you're actually sexually 'objectifying' yourself and sending out wrong signals. If you used SexyTemi or NaughtyTemi as your user name, then I have to wonder which caliber of guys you possibly hoped to attract and what sort of conversation you expected to have with them. What, did you expect them to talk about the weather?

Onegai:
So he came to Nigeria, met you, quickly moved the relationship forward and them travelled out almost immediately? Ohboy. Unfortunately, you're the 2nd wife.

Let me explain what most likely happened from his side. He met a woman, whom he liked a lot. But his family pushed against her (for whatever reasons). Any maybe his mother was doing that Crazy-Naija-Mama routine and demanding grandbabies. So he came to Nigeria to do the needful. Then wen back to the arms of his loving woman and consoled her with a child. She didn't know about you. But it was becoming awkward: how can you live with a woman, have a child with her, sustain yourself on her finances but refuse to marry her? She then asked for a ring and he brought up the usual objections but this time, she dug deeper. And she most likely confronted him and threw him out of her life. So his friends counselled him to cut his losses and come back to you, and one helped him by calling you to beg. To his surprise he found out you knew about his other life and got angry at YOU for communicating with that lady. Because he was hoping he would get to you first and give you his own version of events and Man-splain to you ("Man-splain"definition: a word used to describe an explanation by a man which makes no sense logically but is given to manipulate the hearer. Example: "I cheated on you but now the girl is pregnant and threatening to keep the baby and confront you. Don't let her break up our marriage".

In all this, no-one considered your feelings or your sorrow at being turned into a single mother for 5 years with no financial or emotional support.

If your father is alive, present this case to him. Ask him if this is the sort of Son-in-law he wants for you. Remind him that South Africa failed, but Europe is a new frontier for that man and next time, it may be a German or Lithuanian woman sending you pictures of his child. Is that what he wants for his daughter?

2 of my neighbours are in your predicament. One is so bad that I don't know what her husband looks like after 15 years. He would show up briefly to impregnate her and be gone. She is such a pretty lady, quiet and dignified. But she is very much a single mother. Life is harsh, it punishes the good and rewards the wicked.

urbanmsg:
Please I need your sincere advice Nairalanders:

I got married in 2011,I dated my husband briefly before we Traditionally got married and shortly after that he traveled out.I was already pregnant and it was tough for me to be alone throughout the period the period of my pregnancy.He was assisting me financially sending money monthly but shortly after i gave birth he started complaining that he was having problem with his business that it was tough for him over there.

I encouraged him to come to Nigeria but he refused.On my own things where so tough that at a point i went to live with his brother but the treatment i received from his brothers wife forced me back to Lagos after staying there for one month.

I came back to Lagos started looking for work,i first got a job that couldn't even take care of my son and my needs even for a week,it was tough all through those period but i was able to pull through as i finally got a stable job, paid for a house and gave my son a much better life than what we where used to.

I really thank God who has been with me all this while because i bore all the expenses alone,my husband was always complaining that he didn't have money and no body to help and at point he said he was sick,though he always calls everyday but it got to point he remained incommunicado for about 10 months.

I just focused on my son and work,then one day a friend of his called and started telling me to forgive him that things have so tough for him over there.that he always talks how much he loves

Like the good girl i was i forgave him,this is 5 years plus i have been waiting for this man that have begging me to have patient for him,always taking love.he hasn't even set eyes on his son.

Something happened recently that made me make up my mind to finally move on though my mother and sister keep begging to forgive him.

He called that he wanted to finally relocate back to Nigeria,I was happy to hear that only for one lady to send friend request on Facebook that there was something she wanted me to know that I should forgive her that i all happened because my husband was not honest with her.

The lady told me how she got pregnant and only found out that he was married after she already pregnant for him that when things became too tough for him that he had to move in with her and they have been living together for 5 years now.Now she wanted to know about her daughter that i forgive her.I saw the daughter's picture and she looks exactly like my husband.I called him and confronted him he didn't deny and he didn't say yes.he only said when he comes back that he will explain to me what happened.Seriously i think i have had enough and is better for me to forget the marriage and move on but my mother and sister keeps begging me to forgive him.

Please i need some advice here and also i recently met a single guy who is asking me for a relationship though i don't know what he actually wants and he knows about my son.

queencalipso:
My dear the best revenge is moving on with your life, show him that life taste even better without him. Become that lady he will ever regret playing on.

Don't you ever think of sleeping with his best friend or any one close to him for that matter!!! I repeat, don't ever think it not to talk of trying it else you loose you value and pride. He's a cheat does not mean he should make you one or worthless. Carry your self with pride, forget about paying him back. He's not worth the trouble.

ShayGirl:
No need for revenge, move on with ur life & attain greater heights, take away all hurts,forget he ever existed and leave revenge to revenge itself....Regret on his side would be d outcome of d whole story!!......Leave play-boys to their destinies; D

HateU2:
[b]Wristbangle abi na waist chain , you are so so offppoints .

1. Striking Up Intellectual: So in order not to 'advertise' myself, I should 'Keep quiet' about what's on ground . That even makes me look 'dumber' which is a huge turn off .

2: Preparing Delicious Delicacy: I love cooking. It's one of my hobbies. If I don't show my 'proposed husby' my cooking skills, who will I show

3. Approaching Men Diligently: this one is IRONY


4. Approaching Men Diligently: Another IRONY

5. Eating Responsibly/Moderately During Date: mtcheWww . I hate 'Fat' . I don't do it for guys, I do it for myself .
My love for myself is the first step to love another .

6. Dynamism in Intimacy and Romance : Well, one 'sex style' gets boring . We have to change where and how we do it


7. Rejecting Gifts: I won't reject your gift BUT I will never ASK

8. Dressing Responsibly: I Love Fashion. I dress to satisfy myself not anybody .
If a guy don't like it, 3rd mainland bridge is available

Smellymouth, chairman awon werey .[/b]

Bisjosh:
Career

Because career will not wake up one day and say it's leaving u

goldbim:
Maybe..whatever rocks your boat..the most important thing is keeping fit and being healthy..once you are cool with how you look..no problem..just that it can be painful when you want a particular dress and you are told sorry,miss..it comes in just small sizes..(painfulexperience) .it's all about choice!!YOLO ...though excess fat is not HEALTHY.

kgr8mike:
'I always emphasise that Nigeria is great not just about the oil. So many countries produce more oil than Nigeria but nobody notices them.' GEJ

This is wisdom

KomonSense:
Cc Vero2sleek and theEye21

Come see wetin woman do man oooo ?

Make una no yab me again...Abeg ejooor

Richie0974:
So?
Last I remember, devil was called Lucifer in heaven which implies beauty and means it was a good name before he was cast to earth. So what stops a manufacturer from trying to say his product is the most beautiful of them all?
They could as well have said morning star, I guess that one is wrong too right?
We should stop reading meaning to everything that comes our way, some come naturally.

blaquemyc:
Abeg na wia dem dey sell the biscuit, me sef for like buy am

chimoskyg:
Caption thou, inviting

Africanman123:
Word!! You make every work a passion, but is that possible??

KomonSense:
Pls grow up for once nah!!! How dare you... I must trace you
Using ur registered email...promise you (just keep running)
U are so dead for this

DjAduba:
Na Muslims abi? because na them be terrorists for the world, anything na to kill.

KomonSense:
Wailer...U're already dead or living corpse

What if the man commits suicide bcoz of heartbreak?

Just making #CommonSense

KomonSense:
Wailer...U're already dead or living corpse

What if the man commits suicide bcoz of heartbreak?

Just making #CommonSense

Truckpusher:
Eating your cake and wanting to have it back can end up in a disastrous way.


Well, someone will do some hard times here unless his lawyer makes a very strong case of temporary insanity - Coming to terms that your wife is opening her legs for another man can unleash the beast in every man unless for those men that understood that no woman is worth fighting for unless in self defense.

KomonSense:
Then please don't cheat on ur man...

Just making #CommonSense

ghostwritter:
I once told my gf on a serious note 'I will personally kill through any means if i catch u red-handed cheating on me as long as i stay loyal and provide for ur needs'....now tell me, haven't i made myself clear enough to her?
omo igbo....THERE IS A BEAST IN EVERY MAN, BUT I BREED A MONSTER WITHIN EVEN THOUGH I LOOK THE GENTLEMAN.

Surfboard:
Never confuse education with intelligence bruh.

Motherfucker2:
This is what I'm currently going through now.
My girlfriend is giving me poison, if a goat eats what she's been feeding me, that goat go die.

The worst part be say this girl fine and she's lovely but i can't continue eating that dog shiit she calls food, i don skinny like say i get H.I.V