Op.....I truly understand how hard it can be, to keep your focus. The distractions can be too much.
For you to fully overcome this problem, you need to give your life to Jesus Christ. He has the capacity to truly give you dominion over this problem.

Give your life to Him today.

Christians have already been shown who their only enemy on earth is. Christians already understand it is the devil, named Satan.

We have been exposed to his shameful history; a beautiful angel turned accuser of men, chased down to the earth and has been completely defeated at the cross.

We are also aware that we have been given total dominion over him by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Satan also knows this. He has been beaten, battered, crushed and totally destroyed with the only thing left with him, being his tricks.

Now, he goes about armed with his tricks, looking for who to detroyed - 1 Peter 5:8

But we have the assurance that we can overcome his tricks, because our saviour, Jesus Christ did - Heb 4:15

Unfortunately, with all this knowledge some of the Christians, still decide to follow the devil. They decide to follow the devil, through the works of sin.

There is nothing good that can ever be gotten in sin. It destroys lives. Rob someone of his or her glorious destiny.
Devil is the father of sin, he has nothing good in him, which means he can never give anything good to anybody.

As a Christian, it is neither normal nor logical to serve the devil, because we can never serve two masters, we must serve one and leave the other - Matt 6:24

The sole aim of the devil to a Christian is to render him useless to Christ, so that it would have been better if he had not known Christ at all. That it may be said, the dog is turned back to its vomit - 2 Peter 2: 22.

There is no reason why we should give the devil a foothold in our lives, because we have the True one with us. We have known the truth, and the truth has set us free from the devil.

In Christ we have:
Wisdom - James 1:5
Joy - Lk 1:14
Prosperity - Job 36:11
Best Health possible - 3 Jhn 1:2
Peace of Mind - Phil 4:7
Long life - Psm 91:16
All Round Success - Joshua 1:8

Come unto him right now, he is ready to forgive you, and take you back into his kingdom.

Go and sin no more!!!!

@jaydee0202

There is nothing bad inviting someone to join entrepreneurship program. The wicked thing is painting the invitation as a job interview. Don't prey on the Nigerian youths search for job, to get some people.

If you want to invite them, state in the invite that you are inviting them for an entrepreneurship program. When you do that nobody will badmouth the company.

How do you expect someone that spend time and money to come for the interview thinking is for a job, only to realize it is something else?

I just got invited for the interview today, I was surprised about it because I never applied. I googled the company and I was directed here.

Thank God for a platform like this where we can learn from other peoples experience.

For guys advocating for them.

When you send an invite, please state clearly that it is not a job interview so that the recipient will know. Not that you will paint it as if it is for Job, whereas you represent something else.

Abeg don't prey on people

CosmicPhoenix:

if you dont have money 95% of nigerian ladies will never respect you

Yeah money is indispensable......is the oil for a smooth relationship

Most of us wonder why our girlfriend unexpectedly started disrespecting us. We know there is a reason for that but we couldn't just put our hands on whatever could have been the issue.

A lot of promising relationships plunge helplessly into disarray due to loss of respect in the relationship. To be respected is a craving thirsted for by all and sundry. We all want that sense of regard about ourselves.

For guys, being respected is a measure of recognition and adoration. As a real man we love to call the shots anywhere we are. We thrive on the reverence we are accorded. Loss of respect is tantamount to loss of control. When we lose our girlfriend’s respect for us in our relationship, we lose control over the relationship.

We will quickly be discussing some of the reasons why the respect was lost and how to fully get it back.

1. RESPECT HER IN PUBLIC:

It is often said, “respect is reciprocal”, indeed you have to treat others the way you want them to treat you. You can’t expect someone to truly respect you when you treat them like shit.

Respect is a two –way street, if you want to get it, you’ve got to give it-------R.G Risch

Your girlfriend is a human, and needs to be treated like one. You can’t continue to treat her like shit in public; abusing her, beating her, embarrassing her, and you expect her to sustain her respect for you. You can be sure over time she will start fighting back – in one way or the other.

Be aware that the way you treat her in public is the way others will treat her.

Her respect for you will have a multiplier effect when you respect her in public.
I know your girlfriend can be annoying sometimes, the onus lies on you to handle her with a matured mind.

A great man is the man who knows how to restrict himself from doing some things, even though he knows he has the capability to do it – you shouldn’t beat her, just because you have the strength to do so. Moreover, beating your girlfriend in public or private is a sign of immaturity and a very low self esteem.

Respecting her in public doesn’t mean you are lily-livered, it shows how mannered you are in respecting yourself in public.

2. BE TRULY CONFIDENT & COURAGEOUS


Am not talking about the fake stuff that some guys display around, am talking about being the guy that is ready to stand for what he truly believes in.

The world’s view about a typical man is that of a bold, confident, courageous, valiant and self-reliant. Every lady wants a knight in shining armour with these qualities. These is the pre-conceived mindset they have being programmed with.

As a man you must be able to stand up for yourself, be bold enough to speak up when there is a wrong. A real man fights for what he believes in. These displayed qualities in you is what proves to your lady that you can protect her.

3. BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

Respect yourself and others will respect you ------Confucius

To be truly confident and courageous you must be in absolute control of your life. Inner victory is what produces outward victory. You must be in charge and total control of your personal life to be able to confidently take control of your relationship.

A smart, visionary girlfriend will only respect an equal or smarter boyfriend.

Taking control of your life involves having an achievable vision, obtainable mission and a realistic plan for you future. It involves going after what you want and love.

No smart, ambitious girlfriend wanting the best out of life will want to be led by a rudderless boyfriend.
Have all your life worked out, she will respect you for this and want to follow and support you to achieve it.

You are the guy in the relationship, so act like it.

4. BE HONEST

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned , not given----------Hussein Nishah

How do you feel when you finally realize someone has been lying to you for so long, and making a fool out of you?

You feel embarrassed, disappointed, betrayed and at that instant lose the respect you have for the person.

This is, of a truth, how your girlfriend feels when she discovers you lied to her. You don’t want to be that guy that can’t be taken for his word.
Develop the habit of saying things the way they really are, being a man of integrity cannot be overemphasized. Be truthful.



5. APPRECIATE HER


We all crave acceptance, validation and approval. We covet jealously attention, affirmation and acknowledgement. Without all these we feel insignificant, worthless and irrelevant.

You need to start appreciating your girlfriend over things she does for you. Does she cook for you? Do some of your laundry? Run some errands for you? Appreciate her over little things like these.

On her birthdays or other special occasions do things differently, is not about expensive stuffs, just make the ordinary extraordinary and she will be in your debt.

Ladies are fragile entities that relies heavily on what is being said about them. Give her that sense of relevance and worth and she will respect you for it. If you don’t treat her like these, nobody will treat her like the queen you know she is.

Stop thinking that if you appreciate her she will start misbehaving, is only an insecure man that will think in that manner.

6. NEVER BE NEEDY

A man is only insecure about a female, when he knows she deserves better ------InstaQuote

Being needy is a big turn-off for ladies. As much as ladies love companionship too much of it really destroys her respect for you. Understand she needs to have some alone time with her friends and colleagues . You don’t need to always know where she is , what she is doing- these are insecure guys attributes.

You don’t need her affirmation every time for you to be sure that she truly loves you, neither do you need her presence always to be sure about it.

Grow out of this!!!

7. Be Mature


Do you always hold your girlfriend’s mistakes against her, after she has apologized or sought your forgiveness for it?

I hate to break it to you, but this is a sign of immaturity. Maturity dictates that when you forgive her, you try to forget it.

I know it is easier said than done, but you just have to try your best over time you will forget. I was once in your shoes, I can go for days reminding my girlfriend of what she has done in the past on any slight provocation. But I got sick of this sense of immaturity.

Maturity in relationship is indispensable for a guy, it accords you your well-deserved respect.

Do you have an additional reason, please do share with us.

Doing Zanku in agbada

Free food

What a great way to advertise!!!

From your explanation it is clear you understand how bad the girl is. Why do you want to push yourself into a nightmare of problems. Breaking up is allowed please.

Op I don't know whether is because of low self-esteem or whatsoever, but I tell you there are better ladies out there that will respect you for who you are, not one that will turn your whole life upside down.

Appreciate your fathers' wisdom, just a meeting with the lady, and he understood she is not the one for you.

Bruv run out of that relationship ASAP.

Op change the title it is misleading. She broke up with you not because of your plan for low budget wedding but for bringing up the past.

Please never bring up past issues in a relationship especially when you have forgiven her, it is childish.
Never make that mistake again, it destroy relationships.

Op I will say congratulations on her leaving you, because she is not the kind of girl you need in your marriage.

Some guys here have spoken really well, please take them to heart.

My 2 Cents:
I know your situation is really bad, but I need you to tell yourself that some other people have gotten to this position, and were able to get themselves out of it.

Be one of them. You can do it.

Do you have a skill you are good at? Make use of it to start getting your life together, pending the time you get a good job or any other thing you have in mind.

An antidote to depression is getting yourself busy, getting involved in a good course.

Also get closer to God, it helps a lot.

Although some ladies are truthful about being raped but most ladies lie about this to fake an innocent personality. So as not look like the fuc*ing h*e that they are.

Why can't you just put the picture here

Kiss get advantages like this

enuk80:


I support your no 2 reason.. However, the girl may also have cheated behind op back but she is more smarter than op. If I were op, I will just lock up for now and let's see if she will come back. If she doesn't, then op should move on with his life.... It shows she never loved op... She is playing the undercard... I think her mum should tell her how many times her dad cheated behind her back yet she didn't leave her dad..

Think of the possibility she didn't cheat on him.

Discovering something like that is really heartbreaking.
Op, I believe she wasn't just angry about the flirt, it was your denial of not having a girlfriend that really broke the camel's back for her.

Give her some time, and make her see reasons why you are still the one for her.

Have experienced this on a number of occasions. There is nothing bad about this, but most times Nigerian ladies wouldn't come out outright with it. But as a sharp guy you will always notice.

But the issue I have with this concept is that most guys wouldn't tell her on time that they can't date her. This guys will use this against her, till they get tired of her, whereas the girl is thinking there is something solid going on between them.

To guys: If you notice a girl shooting her shot....let her know on time if you are 'good to go' or not. A REAL MAN WOULDN'T USE THIS AGAINST A GIRL.

Most Nigerian ladies doesn't have any value to add to a guy's life. They believe all they have to do is to appear beautiful and all......is really unfortunate.

Lolz.....this bro don enter am o. She has to break up with d lady with a very good excuse. On no occasion must she allow the lady know he is married.

Some guys don't see marriage as a barrier for them from getting the cookies.

Let your wife know how you feel about this, this is a real temptation you have there with you.

SageMK:
To start with, your write up is full of stereotype.

The idea you are selling that men are the number one victims of friendzoning brought upon by their cowardly act is wrong. Your personal experience doesn't count.

Encouraging men to kiss, hug or hold her hands when they feel like wouldn't work either. That's because you don't need to take a single action to get friend-zoned.

A woman will discreetly screen you without giving away any hint the very first moment you interact with her. You either pass off as a potential mate, friend or as someone to be avoided. If she doesn't like you romantically, it not about you being a coward for failing to act towards her.

Great comment bro,

First off, I will like you to know this write up is not just a result of my experience but a culmination of several studies and different perceptions.

If you will noticed from the title, the write up is targeted at guys specifically. And at no point in the write up did I state that guys are the number one victims of friend zoning.

Is possible that you get friend zoned without any action , this is only in the rare case of the girl not liking your type at all (this I included in the write up, hope you saw it?). But most of the times, I will tell you, it is caused by guy's actions.

I wrote this article to help guys that needs this help, and if anybody uses my advice and it doesn't work, he should let me know.

Thanks.

People should start making it an habit of not kissing babies, you never know what they can contract from people's kisses.

Parents should learn how to politely inform people not to kiss their babies.

Yes....... Guys should stop complaining about being friend zoned, when they are the cause of it.

Correct the mistakes and forever be grateful for the exposure.

Is it a crime to be nice to ladies?

To always be there for them?

To always treat them with utmost respect?

My answer will be a NO.

But will you believe me if I tell you, that this noble mindset is one of the several reasons why ladies friendzones you?

Friendzone is a place of disappointment, frustration, misery, helplessness and unhappiness.

You love this girl and she can’t just reciprocate, you hope that she will eventually love you, but she made you understand she can never date you, because you are like a brother to her. Am sorry buddy, ladies don’t just know how painful that statement can be.

There is boy friend and there is boyfriend that tiny little space is known as the friend zone. Don’t get it twisted ----Anonymous

We have all being there at one point or the other, but the good thing is understanding why you were friendzoned, correcting it and never getting back there with any other lady you like.

Most often than not, we always think she has fallen for us, due to the way she behaves around us, only to be coldly awaken to the unbearable truth that she can’t date us.

Let me quickly tell you a story.

Some years back I was in your shoes, I fell in love with this hot girl. I was literally blown away, she was out of my league.

I decided to get close to her using the friendship strategy. It worked, we became close friends. I was happy to later know that we have a lot of things in common.

I decided to take it slow so as not to be seen as if I am after the cookie, which I thought will hamper my chances with her (only if I had known better).

As we got closer she at different points reiterated how cool of a guy I was, laugh at my jokes and appreciate my ideas.
At this point I was cock-sure she was into me (or so I thought), so I decided it was time to move the relationship forward.

It was a surprise to me how she reacted; she told me that we should just be friends, that we should not spoil what we have as friends. I couldn’t help but wonder how dating will be a bad thing. I couldn’t believe I was just friend-zoned.

I was so disappointed, dejected, never believed she could have responded in that manner, always thought she was into me. Our relationship became strain from then on. I had to put an end to the relationship eventually.


I later understood what went wrong in the relationship, especially what I did wrong, and have vowed never to repeat it again. No wonder have never been friend-zoned again ever since then.


Are you also experiencing this?

Don’t worry buddy at the end of this discussion, you will be out of the shakles of friendzoning.

I promise you that!!!

Ladies Mindset

I must tell you the truth, you were the reason why she friendzoned you. Your attitude - consciously and unconsciously- towards her informs her behavior towards to you.

When a lady first meets you she is uncertain about you. She tries to observe to understand you, whether you are interesting or not, she wants to know if you are man enough to handle her. She wants to know if you are fun to be with. Are you a man of your word? Are you a man that knows what he want?

People who blame the friendzone are cowards who choose to think the girl never gave them a chance; but in truth, every girl has thoroughly weighed out the pros and cons before rejecting guys-----Daphne Sze

We will quickly be looking at the mistakes you make with ladies that gets you in the friendzone:

1. Being a Coward

You are too afraid to go after what you want. You see a good opening to give her a peck, a kiss but you second guess yourself, saying she might be offended.

Unknown to you that she noticed your reaction and could understand that you are not man enough to take what you want.

You are afraid to hug her when you feel like. You are afraid to hold her hands in public. You are afraid she might say it is too early for that. You are afraid she might reject you.

I can tell you most often than not, she is also expecting it. But expects you to take the initiative, to have the gumption to do what you want.

Your timidity to take your opportunity to express your love to her openly tells her you are afraid of her, and you wouldn’t dear offend her…..too bad. No lady wants to date a timid guy, no wonder she friendzoned you.

What to do:

When you feel like kissing her, kiss her. You feel like holding her, hold her. You feel like pecking her, do so.

Never be afraid that she might reject it. If she objects, let her know that is what you want to do, and if she still rejects your kiss, you still won.

At least she knows you are never afraid to do what you feel like doing. And she will forever respect you for that. And of course you are going to get the kiss next time.



2. Not Prioritizing Your Interests

Here is an illustration:

Zion is a student trying to work on a difficult assignment, but in the middle of it, had a phone call,
“Loveth: Hello Zion, how are you? Can you come to my place now I want to show you something?
Zion: Ok dear, I will be with you in a jiffy."

“Zion is a guy unknowingly on his way to being friend zoned, if he is not already there. He could have made Loveth understood that he will not be able to come due to the assignment he was doing, but due to his dire effort to please her, he decided to abandon everything for her when he was not even the boyfriend.

He could have tried to understand what she was calling her for, weighs if it is more important to what he was doing. But all he was trying to do was to impress the girl.

Only if he knows that all those selfless efforts never impress the girl, if it does anything, it only pushes him deeper in the friendzone.

You should never assume the boyfriend role when you are not yet the boyfriend, it only benefits the lady in the long run.

A fact of life is “ People naturally value what they work and invest in”. They psychologically feel more attracted to people they work to earn their attention. People don’t feel committed to things they don’t invest in.

If she is getting all of your attention whenever she needs it, without her doing anything to get it, you can’t expect her to accept to be your lady when she is already getting all this as a friend. She will want to forever banish you to the friendzone (sorry, buddy).



What to do:

Always prioritize your interest anytime it clashes with her interest, and if at all you will choose hers let her understand in clear terms that you are just trying to help her, not because you feel obligated to.

She also need to work to gain your full attention. You must be ready to reject her request sometimes not minding whether that will put you lower on her pedestal or not.

And I will tell you if anything, it will differentiate you from other guys that will helplessly do anything to gain her attention.


3. Unclear Intentions

I understand you might be afraid of her rejecting you if you come out forthright about your interest in her. It invariably removes the opportunity of proving yourself completely to her.

But your delay is what gets you in the friendzone. She can never know what you have in mind except spoken out.

When you cowardly refuse to make her feel the sexual vibe from you, she sees you as just a good friend. She can’t just develop those sexual feelings for you especially when you are not the kind of guy she considers hot.

And there is a short time you have to prove yourself before she throws you in the friendzone. By the time you decide to tell her or show her, it might be already late.

Telling her on time saves you a lot of time, money, energy among others. Sometimes ladies might not just like you, no matter how handsome you are (so don’t kid yourself). Letting her know your intention on time, helps you understand your bearing on time.

What to do:

Let her understand your intentions on time, so as for you to understand what you can have with the lady. You can’t just waste your precious time, hard-earned money and your energy.


4. Granting Her Control

Another mistake that is mostly made is allowing the girl dictate whatever you guys need to do; where to go, what to eat, what to watch etc.

You allow her to dictate all this so as to please her, for her to see you as a gentleman.

This is one of the reasons why ‘nice guys always carry last’. When you let her control, the message you are passing across to her is that you are a weak guy that can’t control her.

And also you don’t have the power over her. I will tell you my friend, no hot lady (the kind of girl you want), that wants to date a guy that can’t control her. This is the reason she will never see you as a boyfriend but a friend.


What to do:

Never allow a lady control you. That is your job and your right to do.

Let her understand and accept you as the one leading. This can only make her respect you.

There is nothing nice in you allowing her to always have her way, it is boring. Be the boss, you are meant to be. If she can’t accept that then she is not worthy to be with you.



5. Being Depirate

Never be desperate to always be with a lady. I understand you love her and you always want to be with her, watch her, play with her.

She might enjoy your company, but it will get to a point that she gets tired of you and will just want to be with her female friends. You pestering her makes you unattractive and more importantly annoying.

This shows you are always in need of her, and can never see you as a boyfriend. You are already dying to be with her without her trying to impress you this makes you boring. And nobody wants to have boring guy as a boyfriend.

What to do:

Have other female friends that you play with. It exhibits to her that others ladies wants you and validates you.

This will make her jealous of you and will want to impress you so as to make her yours. This makes her appreciate your time with her. This makes you interesting, and put you in a good position to be her boyfriend.


When you correct these mistakes you are sure to never land in the friendzone ever again buddy!!!

REMEMBER!!!!

1. Never be afraid to show your feelings, you are the man show it.
2. Place your values, interests and standards above hers.
3. Let her understand what you are after.
4. Be in control
5. Have a lot of female friends.
6. Never be afraid to offend her
7. Never be needy
8. Be willing to walk away

You are the boss, take it!!!!!

No.....you are not too old. So far you are fully convinced that this is what you want, go for it and you shall be happy for it.

It is usually said "It is better late than never."

Patriot9:

To some extent, you are wrong.
1. Stab as a verb is not "Ogun". It is "gun".
"Ogun" is not an action word there.
The same thing is applicable to "Climb" and some others

Mofor o lecturer

Congratulations to the newly wedded couple.

Ramos is no cancer......he is just fu**king good at his job. I hope Salah gets well quickly enough for the World cup. So sorry Klopp!

What Sergio Ramos did can only be done by someone with great experience.....he tactically removed their main man. Come to think of it, he actually aimed for the ball during the tackle.