₦airaland Forum

hi,
i cant see listed anywhere on the link, a vacancy for Oracle database Administrator.

1. Bill Gates earns $250 every SECOND, that's about $20 million a DAY
and $7.8 billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollars, he won't even bother to pick it up
because in the 4 seconds it takes to pick it up, he would have already
earned it back.

3. U.S's national debt is about $5.62 trillion. If Bill Gates wants to
pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate $15 to everyone on earth and still be left with $5
million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in the U.S. If he
doesn't drink and eat, and keep his annual income at $30 million,
he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is
today.

6. If Bill Gates were a country, he will be the 37th richest country on
earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to $1 bills, you can make a
road from earth to moon 14 times back and forth. But you will have to
make that road non-stop for 1400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING
747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates will be 42 this year. If we assume that he still can
live for another 35 years, he has to spend $6.78 million per day to
finish his money before his death.

Funny what comes in to your inbox these days.
This came at the right time of male/female bashing. Its so amusing that i have decided to share it.

1. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

2. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

3. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

4. My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

5. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

6. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.-Milton Berle

7. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."

8. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

9. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

10. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

11. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

12. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

13. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

14. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

15. A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

16.Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

17. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

18. Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

19. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

20. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

21. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

A professor of Business Administration explains the basic concepts of marketing, with examples below:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - *That's Direct Marketing.*

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry
him." - *That's Advertising.*

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry
me." - *That's Telemarketing.*

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)
for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - *That's Public Relations.*

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - *That's Brand Recognition.*

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me! "She gives you a nice hard slap on your face."- *That's
Customer Feedback*

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.- *That's demand and
supply gap*

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you sayanything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry
me?" and she goes with him. -* That's competition eating into your market share*

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - *That's restriction for entering
new markets*

nice one.

but u aint heard the last of the men.

Mt. Everest stands 8.85 kilometers above sea level, roughly the maximum height reached by international airplane flights,
but much less than the 300 kilometers achieved by a space shuttle. Hundreds of people have tried and failed to climb the behemoth by foot, a feat first accomplished successfully in 1953. About 1000 people have now made it to the summit.
Roddy Mackenzie, who climbed the mountain in 1989, captured the above image. Mt. Everest lies in the
Himalayan mountains in the country of Nepal . In the native language of Nepal, the mountain's name is
"Sagarmatha" which means "forehead of the sea."

hi,

its soo good to know that there are Oracle ppl in house.
Am a 9i dba but supporting and administering 8i dbases in my office.

I read that u cannot migrate directly from 8i (or lower) to 10g. You will have to move up to 9i first.
I have only been able to migrate an oracle 7 to 8i.

ATTENTION ALL MEN:

Do women call you Fatty?
Do women call you Baldy?

Do women call you Ugly?
Do you have bad breath?
Do women call you Shortie?
Do your ears have more hair than your head?

Do women call you Stupid?
Do women call you Loser?

Are you over 30, 40, 50, 60, or even 70?

Worst of all, have the women completely lost interest in you?

Do not despair.

Now there is a new "Male Beauty Product" on the market that will change all of that!

funny enuff.

was just won

omoge02863:
sorry but that joke was trashy

Was wondering what that meant. Or is it a joke also?

omoge, hw u dey now?
long tyme no see,

Clickless Website - Enjoy,

Lazy Tired fingures!
Try clickless navigation through this site


http://www.dontclick.it/

try it and tell us what u feel about it.

i heard that gist before. Ologundudu thunder.

Fake or true, its funny.

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"says the woman.

"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.

book of rhyme- Nas.

this song is too tite.

This thread reminds me of the gist of how india was banned from playing football?
It was flowing around back then in the days. How true it is, no one knows but it was damn funny!

The gist had it that they(INDIA) brought jazz to the field and were changing the ball to all sorts of frightful animals like lion, tiger etc.
Gist even had it that they won the team they played by 100goals to nil.

This cud be a proof of juju in football.

,

i saw this and i was tripped., so i felt like sharing it.

people dey LIVE life ooooo!!

The truth is bitter but will always remain the truth.

Excerpts from a lady's diary

DAY ONE
I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship.
I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DAY TWO
We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins.
What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DAY THREE
I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck.
The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time.
He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DAY FOUR
Went to the ship's casino . did OK , won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room.
We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined.
I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DAY FIVE
Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside.
The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined.
He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DAY SIX
I saved 1600 lives today, Twice.

or try any of these,

for those who are tired of life,

so this thread still dey on?!
50 is a joke.

spikelord, longtyme.
hw u dey?

@ono, isaac boro:
i read in the papers that tomorow friday 10th will be an operation mambo day on oil coys.

I was just wondering what coys they will be attacking. Please if u knw, just tell me as i happen to work
with one of them.

,

,

,

,

then,

and,

and,

BEHOLD THE NIGER DELTA MILITANTS.

Beware!