₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
It is sad. But honestly I think both parties need to manage their expectations and just treat each other in a nice manner. I think this poster was actually reacting to what we read on NL.

I knew her thread is a reaction to events on nairaland and in real life but it's not that bad.
A sizeable number of Nigerian men don't have Op's expectations.

It's important that couples treat each other well.

Op,are you sure this is not you?
A babymama to a married man feeling so cheated and distraught because she saw pictures of the man and another lady?

O dighi ihe anyi ga-adighi ahu!

So what help do we render Op?

cococandy:
I don't know about other hospitals but mine had that policy of no food some hrs before ( I don't remember how many hrs to be exact). And they encourage you to try empty your bowels before active labor.

Because you will not only poo yourself, you'll throw up everywhere. Thank goodness I listened.

I kept throwing up continuously. Like every other hour for more than one full day. I was just throwing up.
If I had food in me, it would have been very nasty because I was vomitting uncontrollably. all I had in me was ice chips and water.

I learned some hospitals still give enema to make the women poop first so that they don't poop all over themselves during labor.

Sometimes(most times actually) the labour is spontaneous and the woman would have taken food so it can't be helped.You can only encourage the women to empty their bowels if they can.
When labour is active however,some women who think they want to poo are actually feeling the pressure of the baby coming without knowing and you have to discourage them from straining so they don't push when it's not yet time and end up with bad tears or other issues.
Quite a number of women poo and you just take it as part of the process.
The cleaners will do their job@bolded.

He's traumatised and needs help.He needs to go through therapy with a trained psychologist.
You also need to go back to the hospital with him and run tests again so he can see that you are all clear.I hope you were placed on HIV prophylaxis.

Sorry about the trauma.May God keep evil away from us all.

The problem is not so much with the dress as it is with her body structure.

One of the biggest difficulties of many women is not knowing what fits them.

Seems a lot of women are not enjoying their relationships or marriages.Sad reality.
Why all these lamentations?

Congrats to her,my birthday mate.

Fiancee

Go back to the hospital or lab.Have a urine MCS done to rule out pelvic inflammatory infection.U can also do a vaginal swab test.
You might need to do another scan.

lulukay:
whom her ghetto king appreciates....yes i know...so? your point is? did i say i wanted to imitate anything?

Okay,love but not imitate.

^^^lulukay,what's there about her to imitate?She's just like the typical ghetto girl...........'like Funke Akindele's 'Jenifa'.

If you know his family,try to befriend the wife.If she is receptive,your closeness to the wife might discourage him.
Try to call his wife in his presence sometimes.
Stand your ground and let him see your no is no.If he continues to put you under pressure,you might have to look for a new job.

Ishilove:
Don't be so quick to judge. All I see in your posts are hasty and baseless conclusions.

Op, pele o. This one pass me.

Tearoses, please we need your input.

But I do wonder, what does that lady have that this man's wife doesn't have? Puzzay? Ass? Boobs? What, for goodness sakes?!

They have the same thing but I think in her case the man's heart is more with the girl and the fact that they are living apart which gives him all that time.
He could have married her just because they have a child together which is a wrong move anyway.

cococandy:
I don't think it's the same for everyone.
Mine is only 4months old and I feel like my old self. Have felt so for a while now. I had to rest and refrain from any form of sexual penetration for the recommended 6weeks post partum. But that was it.

Let's not scare her now.

Sometimes fear and expecting unpleasant experiences can actually make such happen.

You're right,it's not the same for everyone.
Op,don't be scared,it's not all bad experiences.There will definitely be changes(or periods of discomforts) but things get back in shape.

*Same goes for every single or expectant mums - childbirth is not a harrowing experience.

theEYe21:
Some people are married and lonely and unhappy

Yes but we're looking at the married happy ones.

Onegai:
Stylesco, even if you did CS, you realise most women lose their libidos immediately after birth right? As in, it's a hormonal thing. You will feel raped everytime you have sex for 2 or 3 months until you mentally begin to accept your body back (it will feel like he's invading you and your child). And then sex will be at a minimum because after your child wakes up 4 times a night (which will happen till the age of 1 or more years old), you and your hubby will be too exhausted to be going at it like Spring Chickens.

You knew all this, right...

She hasn't gotten to that bridge yet so I don't think she knows.
It could be a whole year or more of not being available or just going through the motions because of your hormonal changes.

Onegai:
Not until almost the end. I refused it (they insisted on giving me a diluted IV painkiller which I took onxe) and I did breathing exercises and watched the monitor so I knew when contractions were coming. It still wasn't pretty but yeah, in my hospital they are medication-trigger-happy. They will pile meds on you and disappear when you start having issues with taking them. My lactation consultant said she had seen too many mums with newborn babies from that hospital who were a bit woozy from what they had gone through from birth.

You must have tried to brave it through.Some mums give birth without epidural,just some painkillers.

Onegai:
I'm not sure what I had. All I remember was seeing my hoohah being sewn.

And ladies, here's a surprise waiting for you: if the epidural is too strong and the OB feels that you cannot labour properly because of it, he will instruct the anaestologist to reduce the epidural and the nurses will tell you "honey you better push quickly before the painkillers wear off"

There's nothing like that feeling when you took an epidural and you relaxed, only for you to enter the final stretch screaming in anguish. I made sure I pushed sharparly. Infact I be baddo, i refused epidural till 7cm!

You must have had an epidural.I'm not sure anyone can be relaxed when the pains and contractions come surging.

Ishilove:
Are epidurals done in Nigeria?

Yea.Commonly.
It has to be well done however and the patient has to cooperate.It could be risky.

isokey:
*Deep sigh*... Please, i would appreciate anyone shedding more light on how to avoid tears and reduce pain in vaginal birth delivery for a first timer.

Epidural injection will help you reduce the pian.
Having a tear will depend on the size of the baby.A good doctor or midwife will give you a cut which can be stitched better than let you have a tear.Most first-timers have tears/cuts but not every first-timer has a tear.

theEYe21:
Rather your partner

You can have a partner and be happy and you may even be without one and still be happy.
However,there is a type of happiness that can only be found in a fulfilling marriage.

Hmmm,she sounds like a side chick.

theEYe21:
Must you marry to have a companion? You can have a long lasting relationship and be happy with your spouse without marriage

How can you be a spouse without marriage?

Person take Nigeria money build luxurious palace for himself.

Dezolo:
I want my own baby.

just apply to Npower.

Op,edit your topic.You make me dey think say na Osas speak this kind english.

Some women like to do this kind of stuff but for the guy to also do that makes them both stupid.

Erm.........okay mums...

So because na minister for sports,he must run into his old classmate?

Where is he getting his prospective bride from?There are some places where the demand can be that huge.
Do your research as a groom-to-be to know what you are getting into before you propose to a woman.
Is it right as you said Op?Well,it's the family that decides.

5minsmadness:
Oga thorpido, what was your own experience?

Same same.You don't expect the body to remain the same over the years though but post pregnancy made no significant difference.

crackhaus:
But isn't that just it?

She alone is the one that gets to decide if it's worth the trouble of doing as her husband wishes.
Not like I'm holding brief for the man as I believe it isn't his place to 'force' it (mutual agreement supercedes here), but trying to discourage her on the 'worthiness'[/i]or [i]'her husband's presumed cheating tendencies' is kind of besides the point.

Do women get stretched after childbirth? YES!
Is it something some men or even women will be worried about? YES!
After childbirth, does it return back to normal? YES for some, NO for some!

That some women are here bragging and boasting about how they went back to normal down there is not gospel. After all, no one here is holding a microscope to their vaginas to confirm of it's really true - Only their husbands can tell if it feels different and 90% of the time, a sensible and understanding man will not even mention it to his woman. FACT!

So what exactly is the fuss here?

She or her husband get to decide if it's worth it,that's true.
'We' also from experience can advise if some things are worth it or not,afterall she asked the men in the house what our experiences are.

Next time he bedwets,show it to him and tell him he needs help.
Take him to see a medical specialist called a urologist.Some of the suggestions up there are also valuable.

aaronson:
Op I like you curiosity but don't be misled by that anas guy analogy is misleading full of ignorance.

The dark age is little different from the medieval age but dude mixed both up and was even stating out places that never existed like Jesus Christ.

The era of the Roman empire was the dark age and was the last empire which birthed Europe.

The medieval era was immediately after the fall of the Roman empire which Jesus had no business being in that era of history.

Emperor Constantine made christianity the religion of the roman empire with no reference to Jesus whatsoever but the Catholic church.

The catholic mass murdered people who weren't christians even ISIS and the today terrorist group aren't killing people the way the catholics killed people, They also killed more people more than Stalin and the whole people killed in the WW2.

The Catholics came up with the idea of Jesus and the fiction of Mary's virgin birth of Jesus..... Bla bla bla.......They made up lots lots of things about Jesus but fact remain he's still a fiction character.

Till today no proof as regard the birth date and death date of Jesus eventhough we have the dates of people who existed before him.

Catholics/christianity is the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind.

What you wrote up there must make you feel good about yourself,innit?