₦airaland Forum

Keeping the information from you for that long is where the problem is.She should have been open with you from the start.
I have seen some men/women go ahead with marriage in situations like this.It's left for you to decide.
Get well informed if you decide to.

Most good fathers are that way.

By the way,happy father's day to all good fathers.

There comes a time when the light shines.

Mindfulness:
Feeling lonely before marriage is not the best prerequisite to a fulfilling marriage though.

Yea,you have to be busy building yourself up and making yourself happy even when you're not in a relationship.

Mindfulness:
Does remaining unmarried equal loneliness?

Nah.I wrote that because of Op's moniker.

Marriage is not compulsory.
However,why are you using people with marital problems as a yardstick to determine if you will marry?There are challenges in marriage just as there are in other aspects of life;job,health etc.
Just take your time and marry right.Once you have someone who is ready to work together with you,you can face the challenges together and win.
You shouldn't have to remain with a lonely heart@Op.

Poor girl.Poverty and probably illiteracy made them take her to traditional birth attendants.
She might have died of excessive bleeding or septicaemia.

Young girls abeg listen to your parents.

Doctors kwa?His kidneys failed rather unfortunately.

drnoel:
Now thats evil and unfair but I bet I saw one most sinister than yours.

Was once men in suit for a pal of my cousin who was an architect. Guy was getting married to a babe he was dating for a few months. Organized a massive wedding to impress the bride. The bride didn't show up for her wedding but followed another nigger to South Africa. She scattered the niggers heart but we later heard why she refused. She had placed the guy on hold for years and had started dating the guy from what we heard out of pity. One would wonder what she and her sister meant by out of pity cos the 3-4/5 months she was dating the guy while waiting for her drug boyfriend in south Africa she was living in the guy's house, acting wife material. In the guys words which I believe cos I knew him pretty well, he was 4king her everyday. She didnt even drop a note or tried to explain, she just did an MIA on him.
I learnt a lesson that date. It just taught me as much as I love our naija sisters most of them gurls dont get loyality and not to be trusted. That doesn't mean we shouldn't love em. It just means in case of an eventuality don't break down. Men I saw a lively young man reduced to nothing on his own wedding day. Crying himself to pieces. It was left for us to pick up the pieces the girl had destroyed.

The guy chook himself with knife for leg.How do you organise a surprise wedding?I've know of surprise birthdays but wedding?
Whoever you are getting married to must be a part of the whole process.The person must be involved and be seen to be involved.The girl wasn't nice but your friend was rather naïve too.

laraoge:
Is a proposal necessary even when u both know the goal of the relationship is marriage? Am confused....Does He still need to propose?

What happens to the proposal ring afterwards? Is the proposal ring used as the same wedding ring/engagement wedding ring? Pls enlighten me peeps!!

cc:thorpido
Ewuro4
Mindfulness

I'm old school so for me there was no proposal.It was,bia nwanne,ka m izute muru gi(let me meet your parents).
A proposal is not necessary but in this generation,it adds to the fun I guess,so it's good for you if your man wants to do it.
You keep the engagement ring in your trinket box afterwards.It's not usually the wedding ring.

DEFIRST:
You seem to want to run away from your wife
because of frequent quarells right? Something like that , to avoid frequent quarell, she is someone that react to every little thing not even to only me.

Manage her.I'm sure you've known her to a great extent and know what can trigger quarells so you can avoid it.
Try to make her happy because she is your wife.I know not having adequate funds for a man can be a trigger for frequent quarrels but if you communicate(which requires you listen) with each other,it will reduce the quarrels.

Start the business in Lagos first and see how it goes.You can later travel to do some field surveys where you plan to stay in the other state and see what you can do there.Even if you will move later,see that something is working.
You seem to want to run away from your wife because of frequent quarells right?

I think you should calm down.
There must have been a reason why you both decided to marry even when the odds were against you.Think back on those times and ask yourself what went wrong.It seems you and your wife grew apart and that is the reason why she is getting attention from another man.
Do you still love your wife and want the marriage?Why don't you find a convenient time to sit with your wife and have a deep talk?Ask each other where you've gone wrong and try to make amends.Make commitment to re-ignite the spark and love at the beginning.

The mama nko?Wetin the mama talk?

Where's the IED on his body?I hope an innocent man was not killed.

heartbroken:
Thanks alot sir. funny enough, I've always had access to his phone dats y i could even easily look through that night. I just never saw any suspicious stuff all dis while neither had he given me reason to doubt him. we talked last night & he said i wasnt sexxually welcomin like I used to b in d early months of marriage, dat i complain when he asks me to take a particular position or do his 'fetish', dat am always on my phone (browsing/chatting) even in d middle of d night, dat i got slack in d way i appear at home when hes back from work & i got used to stayin nuude indoors wich he doesnt like. He also said he felt inadequate at not bein able to make me cuum after lots of forreplay etc & he duznt evn no wen I actually com. ( i guess I need help in dis area, I enjoy sexx but I find it hard to climmax truly) & i was like.. why didnt u say anytin! Is marriage not for communication? He reiterated his promise not to do it again to wich i told him im not sure he wont yet he kept at it but am stil so broken.. i told him i was givin him a last chance, dat if he does it again, i'm leaving him. He's such a good man in all respects dat i just wonder how dis loop hole came by

He wanted to cheat and that's why he did it.I don't like when people give excuses on why they did it especially when they make it appear like it's the fault of the partner.
He could have communicated with you.Simply tell you what he likes or what he wants changed.Try and work on the areas he spoke about too most especially being on the phone when in bed with your husband.
It's a good thing you've forgiven him.Unburden your heart too.Work with him so both of you are not distant.
May God keep your home together.

sexyellency:
But these are the courses in d faculty of basic medical sciences.

Yes,but they are single honours courses and not professional courses.

zimunachimdi:
mamas pls how do I take care of a circumcised baby boy?
Will he still ve pampers on after the cut? Someone said original engine oil is used to cool it off. How true is it?

Help me!

Engine oil kwa?Don't mind whoever said that.He really doesn't need anything applied but you could use penicillin or olive oil.
He will continue to use the diapers as usual.

mitchyy:
I know how important taking short walks is. But whenever i try it, my legs will swell beyond recognition that even dh will scream at the sight. Is that normal? My bp is okay, my urinalysis didnt show any sign of sugar.

It's normal to have swellings of the leg/feet in pregnancy but you have to watch out for extreme swelling associated with pain as that could be a sign of something bad.
Everytime you go for antenatal checkups,they should take your urine sample to check for proteins.If your bp is normal and there's no protein in your urine then you have nothing to worry about.
Whenever you take your walk and get b ack home,elevate your feet on a pillow when on the bed or put your feet on a stool.That could help reduce the swelling.You can also get dh to do some massage like I always do.

creamchiccb:
Hello pretty mamas in d house!hope y'all are holding on!plz is any July mamas experiencing slow backache? Mine is kinda warm/ hot backache!+d pressure down my Vjay feels as if baby 's head is directly on my bladder!d pressure is more wen I take my usual evenin stroll of 30min!...am 36wks gone@Cappo mitchyy hws d ministry?

@36weeks,your complaint is common with expectant mums.You will experience that backpain and lower pelvic pain on and off till you birth.You can use paracetamol to relieve you sometimes.Continue with your strolls but you can reduce the time.

Blessedmum:
Congrats on d arrival of ur lo at Ginababy.

Good evening mamas plz I want all sabi mamas to look into my complaint. I ll be 25wks tomorrow bt I noticed dat since yesternight lo has positioned himself on d low left side of my tummy, he's using something to pin me down I dont knw if it's his head or nyansh bt it's so painful and makes sleeping and walking difficult for me. Av begged him to relocate bt d guy refused and is even kicking unaware of d pain am going thru, I took malt dis morning and he shifted a little and I felt relieved only for him to pin my tummy down again bt dis time around at d low center of my tummy. Plz has anybody experienced this and is there anything I can do to make him shift. Plz if u av experienced something similar do not walk pass, d pain is unbearable.

Cc zaynie, nurse kaffy4bill, Feddy27

What you're experiencing is common.The growing belly sometimes put pressure on nerves and relief comes by a shift in position of the baby.
You can take paracetamol to relieve you of the pain.
You should also place your hand on your belly and ask your LO to shift.He/she should hear you.

heartbroken:
Hi sisters. I'm one of the active members of this thread.. I just had to open a new moniker to post this issue. As I'm writing, I'm still in tears. I don't know who I can talk to. My mum is here & has been asking why my eyes are swollen but I just cant tell her as we aren't that close..
I just found out few days ago that my husband of 3yrs slept with a girl through his whatsapp chat. Apparently, he forgot to delete d chat and slept off. I picked his phone to browse & came across d sexually explicit content. My husband was askin d said lady if she liked d way he f**ks, saying she was so sweet he wished he could make her cuum 5times & she was like atleast she did 3times(this is som1 who hasnt taken d effort for me to cuum after d first few months of marriage & i haven't complained.. I enjoy d sexx but I hardly get dere & need a solution to dat), asking why she didn't succk him well & she promised to when next they see, d lady was like she can't wait to be his wife & when he'll b renting d apartment & he said maybe next yr let him find a good place, saying shes all d porn he needs as she sent him nude pics but he had deleted them. dis is som1 who saw me go through all that labour pain & stil in post partum pain yet he had the nerve to sleep with another woman just few days after our comin home. We haven't even named our baby! I'm so hurt and pained.
He knelt down to beg me several my & was crying that he's sorry and she means nothing to him that she was just an object ( as me I was always complainin & not giving it d way he wanted) and tempted him that he stil doesn't know how it happened! Just imagine!!! He said he didnt tel d lady he was married but said he was in a relationship. That if i leave him, he wil commit suicide that he can never marry another woman & all the chat i saw was just scope afterall I know his salary & all expenses he makes.. he has blocked d lady on whatsapp, & told her off to which she responded dat all men are d same, he should delete her pics & won't call/chat him again but she did yesterday once & he was in d kitchen. I'd have picked but d phone went off b4 i could reach it. I told him I have forgiven him but cant forget and trust is broken but he promised to rebuild my trust. We even had a hot romantic session early dis morn but I told him he ll have to do STD test b4 I can allow him wen am fully healed in my vjay as i dont know if he used condom & he was just doin pitiful face.This afternoon, I got a Facebook request from d lady, my husby isnt her fb friend & am wonderin how she got my ID- I accepted then deleted few mins after but I'm thinking of chatting her up. I need your advice in all these my e-sisters. My thoughts are just everywhere. initialy i just wanted to cheat back to get even but now its passed.. Pls dont read & pass, tnk u

Hmmm.You'll need to have a serious talk with your husband.He seems remorseful now but you really need to see that he has changed for good.If you' ve forgiven him,he has to give you his word that it won't happen again and actually show that.He shouldn't have any contact with the lady again and shouldn't chat and hook up girls again.He should let you have access to his phone so you can build that trust again.

cupidhero:
Lol. NO! But i get legs to run incase shii gets outta hand. Assuming everyone in Owerri go try get small guts some of these things won't happen. Burn 100 cultists and crooks alive in a day watch them give up the life of crime and join their mates for hustle. It won't totally eradicate crime but it will definately decrease the rate. Firstweek i started secondary school i actually saw my deskmate conceal a pistol in his school bag,he wasn't the only one packin gats and this didn't happen in Baltimore or Los Angeles. As a proud alumni of one of the most dangerous schools in the east guns and jack knife no be new thing.

Wow,junior secondary school student?O di egwu o.

You should check this thread.https://www.nairaland.com/889053/pregnancy-pregnant-going-through-high

cupidhero:
Cultist? Capital NO.
Ready to die? YES! Anyday...Anytime!

You get otumokpo?

cupidhero:
The number of jewmen in Owerri is alarming. Imagine people get robbed in broad day light in a place as busy as Douglas and every boy or man around the scene will run away like lil kids just at the sight of awka made or jack knife. Rubbish! Saw 3 guys yesterday beating and looting a guy,the dude tried resisting and they punched him in the face till he gave up then started shouting "Na we own Owerri" and they said "them go blow shot". Really wanted to intervene but had to just ignore them because it seemed two or one of them recognized me from somewhere because they didn't say shii as i closely walked towards them almost bumping into one. The level of cowardice in Owerri makes me wanna puke.

hmmm.U na guy man?

Do we have enough teachers to teach?There are rules and punishments for sexual harassment.The government should enforce laws,that's all.

sexyellency:
What about anatomist and physiologist?

Usually they will end up as teachers during NYSC so they get paid like the rest of corpers.

There's something he is not telling.

They never know how much evil they are dealing with until they are neck deep into it.Such a waste.

Say no to cultism.

mikky234:
Does that mean Biochemists are paid similar to doctors

No.

You don't want kids?Hmmm,girl,forget it.