₦airaland Forum

Blogger,who is he re-marrying?Is it Linda Ikeji?

O di egwu.

thotianna:
I am very shocked that the lady in question is not getting much sympathy for what she went through instead people are talking of the man's trauma. Hmmmm

Am sorry for what you went through, MA. That is one of the worst experiences anyone can ever have please try to forget and move on. Get therapy if you can afford it.
As for your husband he is a very immature man, sorry to say. I agree the situation is not what a good husband will experience and be happy about but he could have at least comforted you. He could have talked to you tell you he still loves you in spite of what happens and he knows it's not your fault.
Ignoring you like this is very very cruel.

For the main time don't let him determine your happiness. Do other things to make yourself happy and don't offer him sex again until he asks by himself. If he continues shunning you after one year then you should seriously consider ending the marriage.

Some of you ladies are misunderstanding posts here.Leave out infogenius who is off the track and one or two others.The woman and her husband both need help.However,the way women and men deal with issues are usually not the same.Some men become babies when faced with some situations.The fact that they are 'men' doesn't mean it's not blood flowing through their veins.I make bold to say that when it comes to matters of the heart and mental strength,women have it more often than men.
From the lady's post here,she seems to be strong and has overcome the trauma to a great extent.She will still continue to need help but even she is focusing on her husband now.
You may call the man weak,immature,selfish,inconsiderate or whatever,but the fact remains that he needs help.He doesn't know how best to deal with this.He has to learn.If anyone has suggestions,give to him.He needs therapy.You say he should comfort the wife but he DOESN'T know how to.He needs to be taught and guided.
No-one is making this just about the man.

Cc:quivah

TV01:
Ultimately, I absolutely agree. But there will be many persecuted, many casualties, and some may take compromise to far, or even capitulate.

I was listening to the radio here once (LBC 97.3 FM to be precise), and a caller suggested "that those who do not give their children a favourable view of homosexuality should be exposed to the law".

The implications if that came to pass, and I can totally see it given the way things are going, are manifest. Ultimately they could take your children away from you, and they could actually end up given to a same-sex couple.

When they take your children away from you here, it's ordered by judges and the records sealed. You never see your children again.

Yes, light will prevail, but this will not end well - it simply can't.


TV

At bolded,that's simply crazy.You are not just to ignore them but must speak favourably of them.
There will surely be persecution and compromise on the part of many.

TV01:
Really? What about South Africa? What about threats from The West - most notably the US and the UK - that are threatening aid and trade sanctions if "gay" rights are not expedited? What about the UN championing and weaving "sexuality" and "orientation" into it's principles and policies. What about the charities, aid agencies and NGO's that are promulgating this by stealth?


Those in countries where it happens - roughly 20 or so of 186 - are having it forced on them. It's been woven into school curricula from as young as 6, with no excuse permitted for concerned parents. Small businesses such as bakers and photographers are being persecuted & bankrupted. People are losing their jobs and livelihoods, for simply disagreeing with, or failing to celebrate gayness.


That already happened in Spain and some of the earlier country which already adopted this. It's a natural progression. Mother/father, husband/wife, are eradicated. After all, they are discriminatory in a homosexualised world aren't they? Or better understood as, for a lie to prevail, truth in language, and what words mean have to be butchered, parenthood becomes a legal construct. It's why we have NL championing "gay" parenting, aka child abuse.

Resist the narrative, there is no such thing as a "hetero" or "homo", person. It's not a fixed identity, or orientation. It's not intrinsic, immutable or inherent. It's not genetic. It's dysfunctional and disordered behaviour. It is not the basis for marriage or an equivalent setting for child nurture. Gird yourself, acquire understanding, resist at every opportunity - watch and pray!

Appeal or no appeal. It's already an utter failure that it's gotten to court. No sane society embeds homosexuality, and persecutes those who do not subscribe and celebrate it.


TV

Well,i guess these things must be in fulfilment of scriptures but one thing is sure,darkness can't prevail over light.

If they appealed the judgement,I guess those up there might still award the case against them.
A lot of people say it's not anyone's business what two consenting adults do but we're seeing where it's gonna be other people's business when they force it down their throats.

infogenius:
I am back to talk objectively on the main scene in this post.

Quite frankly the op made a mistake. She made it for love as stated in the post.
Did your husband ask you to open your legs for touts? You willingly allowed those riff raffs have their way without ur husband's consent.

Not every man at that scene will understand the sacrifice you made because there was no mutual agreement between you two on what happened. You decided too.

The job of your husband amongst other things is to protect his family. He never gave you that mandate even at the cost of his life. How dare you open your legs without your husband's telling you to?

What makes you think that your husband is not even thinking that you just wanted to have fun?

The husband is mandated to protect his family which includes making the right decisions even at the cost of his life to achieve this.

There was a similar incidence in my area in Festac when I was growing up. According to the report, the woman was even moaning to the jerks of the touts.

That event ended her 6 yrs old marriage as her relationship with her husband broke until they finally divorced.

I will not open my eyes and watch touts ride my wife without telling her to do so. I will rather die.

I have an obligation to protect my wife even at the cost of life.

I am not perturbed by what anyone says about the man been unfair after the wife was raped because of him.

The man had the Final say even at gun point and since the woman gave in ignorantly, she has a lot job to do to win her man back

You are trolling,aren't you?
This your comment is ridiculous.

Who beard help?
Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Israel and because of where He was born,He would have kept a beard

The question is of what spiritual significance is a beard?Well only in the imaginations of those who keep it for religious purposes.

Arielle:
You're wondering if most nigerian men are selfish? Wonder no more. Read this thread and add conceited, entitled, cruel and immature. A wife is there for his convenience. God forbid that he should put self aside to comfort the woman who actually suffered the rape. Reading the comments here leave me disgusted. And very sad. Even from a Nairalander I had respect for. Thank God I have sons. I pray I raise them different from all these 'men'. If I had daughters I'd encourage them to find husbands far from these shores.

They are both traumatised,the woman more physically and the husband more mentally.However,it seems the husband is getting more attention here because he seems not to be recovering from the incident like the woman has.
She appears from her posts to have gotten over it to a great extent which is commendable.Yes,she still needs all the help she can get to make a total recovery but her husband seems to need more help here.

Perhaps women underestimate men's pain because they hardly cry but there are situations that turn some men to babies,not because they are babies but because they can't deal when such situations come.
The man needs help and the lady too to put things back together.

London gangs.The society isn't doing enough.

AbbieGee1:
Nigerians and chochochocho,always having an opinion abt errbady


That's the price of being famous tho,cus no matter hw flawless you think u may be,pple still got som'in to say.

I aint famous(I dnt even dress indecently) so,atleast no one will put me up on social media slaming anyhw.


#Abbiewashere

Isn't this comment an opinion?

foolinlove:
Why? Why does the woman have greater responsibility?

Just because she carries the pregnancy? The man played half the part in getting her pregnant. The responsibility should be shared equally.

My sis,the responsibilty should be shared equally but when the girl can be in a position to get ostracised,then she ought to take more responsibility for her sexual health.
I'm not saying the man shouldn't play his role but I'm looking at the scenario as in this thread when he doesn't(or may not).

foolinlove:
It's an equal responsibility. It takes two to tango.

Conclusion being - male or female - if you're not ready to be responsible for a child: don't have sex at all.

Especially when the woman could be ostracised for exercising her right to reproductive autonomy.

Yed that's true but the one who could be ostracised here has greater responsibility.

foolinlove:
I'd also say that if a guy is not ready to procreate, he shouldn't have sex.

If it's not rape,it's the responsibility of the guy and the girl-the girl more because she will carry the pregnancy.

foolinlove:
And when contraceptives fail?

She can choose no sex.Contraceptives can fail and the man can 'fail' so the girl has to weigh the risks.

foolinlove:
There are lots of reasons.

One could be that he's not ready for the responsibility of children or condom use.Yet he was ready to shoot his load into a girl.[/ b]

Funny, the same type of guys often go on and on about how abortion is "morally wrong".

[b]Seems that men can choose their destiny in life, but won't allow a girl the same choice.

It's morally reprehensible to abandon the girl who will mother your children, without providing her with any options.

When girls are not ready for the responsibility of a child,they can choose not to 'accept that load'.

Women also can choose their destiny in life-they can say no sex,insist on condoms or place themselves on contraceptives.

Exclusive breastfeeding is not for every baby.It is recommended,but it can't work for every child.
It didn't work for my kids except their mama wan collapse.There are some babies that just can't get enough.

VictorRomanov:
So change of name now signifies a bad thing? Do u know that even after changing Jacob's name to Israel, that God still referred to him as Jacob? Read pls. Isaiah 2:3, Micah 4:2, Malachi 3:6, Psalms 146:5.

So I don't see the need why people shouldnt name their children Jacob and why you should criticise those who do.

Yes,even after God changed his name,he was still addressed as Jacob.
What I learn't from my biblical study is that when he is called Israel,it is to speak about his spiritual lineage but when addressed as Jacob,it deals with his ancestral lineage.

Zico5:
Some people are ignorant of the bible. Their is nothing bad in Jacob, I am Jacob right from the birth and I confidently carry the name. If one of the greatest apostles of Jesus christ can carry the name without fear and intimidation from christ then the name is good.

Bro,it's the name you were gi ven and it's hard for you to let go of it but still doesn't make it right.
You're the one walking in ignorance here.Jacob was a swindler,a usurper,a 419 in Nigerian parlance and that was why God changed him name to Israel.

It depends on the family and the orientation.I didn't dress up in front of my sisters or they in my presence but my next door neighbours did it and there was no perversion of any sort.

Your bae's family is used to that and there is nothing wrong with it.

Congrats Mitchyy.

Besea:
Mamas please I has a kwayshun, biko don't read and pass. I usually have this stretching feeling around my mid abdomen sometimes it is so uncomfortable that I can't stand erect, has anybody experienced this? Please share your experience. Do I need to see my ob/gyn? My next appointment is Wednesday.
P.S : my placenta is low lying, is it related in anyway?

Your tummy will stretch normally as the baby grows,so I guess that's what you are experiencing and it is normal.How many weeks are you and how was your last scan?

There are still honest people in Nigeria.




Not like car mechanics though.

He should explore other avenues to know.Let him think of his long term friends and try to get info from them.

alizma:
you believe the trash? that is a man in that dress.

I saw the full picture,it's a woman.Some women have that type of body frame o.

How are we sure you are not trolling?

cococandy:
No. I had thrombocytopenia. My clotting factor kept going down. Especially during the last weeks. If I waited until 40 weeks, It might have gone down to the point where I'd bleed profusely after delivery, maybe requiring a blood transfusion. So I was induced at 38 weeks.

I didn't even know they check all those things but I was glad to find out. It's not really a problem expect one is going for surgery or anything that might cause bleeding like child birth.

Oh that.It was safer to just have you induced.38weeks was ok for delivery,no point keeping you longer.

cococandy:
No.

It was medically necessary. For my health.

Your Bp was going up?

Onegai:
You know, that position is actually a bad one. You are pushing against gravity and it becomes much more work and more painful. A woman should really be in her knees or sitting down. I know someone that they squatted her down in the U.K. to deliver and she said it was much easier to push.

The bed is usually tilted with your head up so you shouldn't be pushing against gravity but rather have gravity assisting you.I know there are modifications like kneeling or semi-kneeling which some people have said made it easier but that position gives the doctor or mid-wife access in case you need assistance.

pwettyJasmine:
You are a man not a woman, how come u know CS takes longer to heal. FYI im a mother of 2 i had my 1st child with normal delivery and the 2nd via CS and in my opinion CS healed faster. In less than 1mnth i was back 100% but when i delivered normally the episiotomy (cut) my Dr gave me lasted for months, couldnt sit well, to straff no even near that. For me i cant opt for natural anything again if i want to have more kids. C S is the way. All those open eyes thing na suffer. Ive experienced both so i know exactly how it goes

I'm a man,so how come I know women menstruate? Sis,I know.I live with someone who has done it for that matter.
The only way you could have had an episiotomy(if it wasn't a tear) that took so long to heal is either because it was not neatly cut and well stitched or it got infected.A normal episiotomy will heal in 2weeks.You can start straffing in 6-8weeks.
The same C/S you had could go awry and last for many weeks in some people.It's either the stitches pull out and it has to be redone or could get infected.For some people who don't have good skins,it could leave bad keloids.

GSKing:
How you guys assume the rape victim is strong and okay enough to have "a talk" with her husband is baffling. Like it's absolutely nothing and it takes nothing to get over the rape and move on! The husband is the one who needs to be strengthening and encouraging her after the incident. She needs love even though she's acting strong and in need of affection.

They both need counselling from an unbiased professional especially that uneducated and uninformed husband of hers.

He is traumatized? How dare everyone make this about the man?

How old are these commenters above anyways?

So he is not traumatised?Do you know what trauma is?Being a witness to that experience is not trauma?
I think we should ask how old YOU are?

trauma - /ˈtrɔːmə,ˈtraʊmə/
noun
1. a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
2. physical injury.

cococandy:
You're right.
I guess they are able do that here because they were monitoring us very closely. They'd advice us to come in and get checked for dilation as early as one week to the due date and every other day subsequently . Plus mine was scheduled anyway so I had control over that.

I think the no food rule is mostly for the vomitting part. Because Labor takes a while. If you ate like during early labor, the food would no longer be in your stomach during active labor so you can't throw it up. But you can poop

Does your hospitals still give enemas?

Whao,you guys really have a good structure over there to schedule appointments every day from like a week to due date.In Naija,most people only present in the hospital if they've seen 'water' or they are having mild contractions so you can't really control their food intake.

Enemas are hardly given here.