₦airaland Forum

Siena: Daawwwg. What do you class as insults? If you can't take the heat, you know what you can do. Unless you want me to spoon-feed you as well? Self-pity isn't an attractive trait to have.

Again, not an insult, just the facts as I see them.

cutilious: cause its hard to find mr right

Siena: Only an arrogant bully would attempt to ram his / her opinions down the throat of others. And please, speak for yourself, not "others." I have the right to post my opinions, just as much as you have the right to express yours. Please define "insult." Because I haven't insulted you, I've merely stated my opinions as I see them.

If anyone's being coercive here, it's you, with your narrow-minded thought process.

Again, lateral thinking doesn't seem to be your forte - that's not an insult, before you begin whining. I'm simply stating a fact, based upon my perception of you as a person.

Siena: Only an arrogant bully would attempt to ram his / her opinions down the throat of others. And please, speak for yourself, not "others." I have the right to post my opinions, just as much as you have the right to express yours. Please define "insult." Because I haven't insulted you, I've merely stated my opinions as I see them.

If anyone's being coercive here, it's you, with your narrow-minded thought process.

Again, lateral thinking doesn't seem to be your forte - that's not an insult, before you begin whining. I'm simply stating a fact, based upon my perception of you as a person.

Siena: Daawwwg, think next time before you open a thread. It may not be for myself alone, but it's still for public consumption. I prefer to be objective, unlike yourself who started a thread, looking at just one perspective. If you'd gone for a "for" and "against", we wouldn't be having this conversation. And don't keep on liking physical violence, abuse, infidelity and adultery to "misunderstanding." Anyone with half a brain would see the difference.

As for me "getting out" on your sayso, think again, your arrogance is certainly clouding what little logical reasoning you've got left. The very fact you've chosen to quote a whole block of my post, only to post your very unrelated blurb speaks volumes. Basic comprehension skills on your part wouldn't go amiss either.

Siena: No. What I saw was you acting out the real you. You let your mask slip, proving you're just as devious as they come, despite your self-righteous attitude on here. You're a hypocrite.



No, you thought you were dealing with one whom you could manipulate. One you thought would accept the garbage you spew as gospel, without questioning. People like you look for others to dominate, so when you come upon people like myself, who chooses to use his brain, you come a cropper, and you don't like it. You reckon you've got a mature mind? You need to look for a mindless robot to dominate.



Oh, I understand you alright, believe me. You're one of the brainwashed few, who sees everything in black and white, not realising there are shades of grey in between. Self-righteous and bigoted to the core, else why would you even come out with this - "until you have physical interraction with me and that cannot be." Already, you're attempting to place yourself above me. How bigoted can you get? As for not having physical interraction with you, what makes you think I'd want to meet anyone of your ilk? What I can discern from the e-you is disturbing enough, so the physical you - urrrrgh!



Now, quote me where I've encouraged someone in this thread to divorce their spouse. Quote the person's user ID. Everything here is hypothetical, so unless you can come up with a person, your powers of English comprehension are as strong as your comprehension of the Bible and world-matters.

Flimsy reasons? If you call domestic violence, a wife-batterer, infidelity and adultery flimsy, then you're even more disturbed than I give you credit for. Flimsy? Even God cited INFIDELITY as valid grounds for divorce, so what the heck are you on about?



What's your definition of a troublesome home? We're not talking about an arguement about who leaves the toilet seat up, who squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle, who doesn't pull their weight about the house etc. We're talking physical violence, adultery and infidelity. So don't attempt to dress the issues down. When there's physical violence in a marriage, and all counselling has failed to resolve things (note the use of the term "COUNSELLOR", not your "pastor" or someone like you) then yes, divorce will be the best solution. Like it or not, divorce does happen, and will continue to, only a broken, brainwashed and dehumanized person will remain in a marriage, if they're married to a serial cheat, who beats them black and blue. Physical violence can come from either side.



Stop using the word "ISSUES" and be explicit. If I was a serial cheat, and I was beating my wife at the slightest provocation, and someone adviced her to divorce me, I would shout "hallelujah"! Because if things had gotten to such a state, it would mean I wanted out of the marriage! I would shake that person's hand. Unlike you, I see no reason why a physically violent and abusive relationship, coupled with infidelity should be sustained. Hypocrisy isn't my forte, I leave that to the likes of you.



Nothing. Because why people get divorced is no business of mine. Of course, your use of "everybody" is absurd. Stick to the facts.



Hahahaha! Daawwwg, you're a joker! You "mended" a failing marriage? What did you feed the couple on, "Deluded Pills"? I'm not sure whether I should feel sorrow or pity for that couple you "allegedly" mended their marriage. Sounds like washing a white dress with black, greasy hands or trying to moisten dry skin with talcum powder. "Marriage Mender!" What did you "mend" their marriage with - a b@ng on their heads with a brick?



And I'll ask you again - quote me just ONE person who's marriage I've attempted to break. If you can't, then you've just proven you're a stone jerk. So take up my challenge, find one person on this thread I've attempted to break his / her marriage. If you can do so, I'll even help you polish and burnish your rapidly fading halo.

nggold: @Timijo,


hehehe! marriage mender indeed! I can imagine the couple, wife in this case,watch you spewing gabage all in the name of mending her marriage - "be submissive to your husbad, dont argue with him, cook for him, wash his clothes, even wipe his bum after using the toilet" of course with bible quoatation to back it up, after all he is your husband and head of your home even when its obvious the man is maltreating the wife. I pity your clients, "marriage mender"

i still maintain, you are a manipulative hypocrite.

greatgod2012: Another bad habit: PRIDE.

Pride has desroyed so many homes, wives are not ready to humble and submit to their hubbies again.
Likewise, men are too concious of d fact dt they are d head, they are just too head-strong, they dont want their wives to question their authority, hence, reminding their wives they are d head.
May God help all of us

Siena: Daawwwg, you posted this:



Your religion teaches you to be judgemental, huh? Someone gets married, and you who apparently feels without remaining in a marriage, one is condemned to hell, and you're still not satisfied. You want the guy to divorce his wife?

Please tell me where in the Bible, God said a man MUST be older than his wife. Your actions make you a hypocrite. What's it with you and other people's marriages / relationships anyway?

https://www.nairaland.com/1076171/27-year-old-nigerian-wed-83-year-old

eddy1977: Great thread.
All the points you Brought forth can be summarized in one word: selfcenterdness

Movingcoil: I will must definitely marry in the next 20 yrs am 42 and my babe is just 2 yrs old, we agreed 2 get married wen she is 22

Siena: The topic says reasons not to get a divorce divorce, not people should NOT get divorced.



I've read, and there's no need to rethink, because your arguement is pretty one-sided, and clouded in bias.



I've seen the effects of remaining in an abusive, adulterous, violent and none-loving marriage. The effects are far more adverse and profound, than that left by divorce. At least a divorced couple can move on, be happy and at least remain fairly civil to each other.



Exactly. Not have you, or some other holier-than-thou person, or their "pastor" make their choices for them.



You haven't asked any questions. All you've tried to do from the onset, is make a lame attempt to ram your opinion down my throat, or that of others. You've made up your mind, so I see no reason for this thread to exist. You're after folk who can be swayed by your one-sided arguement, and you're not going to find that in me! I have my God-given brain, and use it.



People? Or some people? I think you'll find most people will prefer to cope with divorce, and whatever conditions you choose to interprete from the bible, than stick with an adulterous or violent, abusive spouse. I notice you don't touch on the physical violence side of things. In your mind, that's not valid grounds for divorce. Are you yourself married?



So you feel only a "true Christian" will advice a victim of marital violence and / or adultery to remain married? Dawwwg, listen to yourself! You sound so self-righteous and smug! Of course I would advice ANY victim of domestic violence and / or adultery to get help - not from the church, because if those in the church reason the way you do, then such victims will be doomed. I'll advice them to get Marriage Counselling, at least the advice there will be objective, looking at both sides of the coin, not one-sided and myopic like yours. If that doesn't work, then yes, divorce will be the only option, before someone gets killed!

If there's one thing I'm not, it's a hypocrite. I see things from multi-perspective, you're simply seeing things from one angle - the one that suits your interpretation mis-interpretation of the bible.



The correct title of this thread should have been - "10 Reasons Not To Get A Divorce, & 10 Reasons To Get A Divorce. That would prove your analogies aren't colored by sentiment and / or bias.

nggold: @ siena

why are you wasting your precious time arguing with him. Obviously, he is a manipulative bible thumper. If you check well, his type manipulate, blackmail and abuse their wives and then use bible quotation to shut them up. Hypocrites!

UmericanGirl: He is married to Nairaland

Siena: Efe, he'll never admit it. I mix with folk like him on a daily basis - they simply loath to admit they were wrong.

How's the writing going?

#JusticeforAluu4

Siena: And of course, you still dance around my questions. It's quite straight-forward, and a direct answer will do. Does the Bible state INFIDELITY and FORNICATION as grounds for divorce? If a husband is a wife-battering brute, they've sought counselling which has failed, should the wife remain with him, and wait for him to kill her?

Yes or no, it's simple!

#JusticeforAluu4

Siena: Guy, stop interpreting the Bible to suit your warped sense of reasoning! You keep harping on about the Bible, yet fail to answer or address one issue. Quoting scriptures and verses doesn't make you a Christian, remember the Devil can quote and recite the Bible from Genesis to Revelations verbatim.

If a woman's being battered by her husband, is married to a serial cheat, would you advice her to remain with him? No doubt, you'll advice her to "pray" for him, and remain untill he eventually maims or kills her. I don't claim to know the Bible inside out, but I do recall INFIDELITY and FORNICATION as reasons in the Bible to get divorced. For some reason, you refuse to comment upon this.

All this God's wrath stuff is just a load of bull. It's a sin to have your God-given brain go to waste, through lack of use. You're the one who'll fail woefully, by the way you reason. Have you ever seen a woman so beaten and battered by her husband, to the point her own mother would have trouble recognising her? Or so dehumanised by her husband, she see's herself as worthless, and feels she deserved what she got? No doubt your advice will be, she remains with him, and seeks solace in "prayer", LMAO.

Yeah, God made everything in this world, including our brains. If all it took was God's guidance, our brains might as well be redundant.

#JusticeforAluu4

Siena: Tim, before you quote the Bible as the manual for sustaining marriage, think carefully. It's like those that seek the advice of "pastors" when trying to resolve marital issues. And many a husband or wife has ended up dead as a result.

Marriage is sustained by the couple, because they use their God-given brains. God gave us brains so we can use them, that's as far as God's input goes. We weren't put on earth to be spoon-fed.

Besides, there was divorce in the Bible, which you seem to have conveniently forgotten.

#JusticeforAluu4

eastman11: @OP, God bless you for this wonderful advice, for those who do not accept your advice let them look inwards and find out why their marriage is not working, if your husband suddenly became abusive you need to check yourself and adjust where possible as i believe that unless you are married to a mad man, no man lays a hand on a woman who said nothing, no man hit a respectful and humble wife, the women that enjoy their marriage are the loyal and humble wife's and these are the women that can change their husband for good, such women people outside always say they control their husband. i have always said that a woman holds the key to a successful marriage.

chucky234: I was just saying to myself that these points are meant for Oyinbos and not Naija peeps then I saw Chicago,your points are certainly not a good reason for a wife to stay in a hellish marriage especially when the man is a wife beater,haba which woman go dey kampe make one man turn her face to punching bag.
STDs:- Even marriage couples who are efficiently managing their marital affairs still keep multiple partners,I don't think the issue of STDs is enough reason for one to endure a horror marriage.
Its better to be single than to live with a man/woman who brings you nothing but sorrow,that's direct entry to early grave oooooo.

dridowu: Divorce already deleted frm my DICTIONARY , so not my OPTION.....................................B.I.I

DANILSA: @ OP YOU TRIED SHAA, BUT FOR YOU TO WAKE UP THIS MORNING AND DECIDE TO TYPE A DIVORCE LESSON IS WHAT A CANT UNDERSTAND, DID YOU FIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE YESTERDAY? ME I FEAR O

Siena: Tim, your approach is pretty one-sided, to say the least. There's a lot more to divorce than you've posted. There are lots of circumstances you barely touched upon. Just like there's no text book on bringing up kids, there isn't one for sustaining marriage either, especially an abusive one.
You got it wrong, there is a book sustaining marriage and the book is The Bible. The problem with people is that, they don't want to go by the words in the book b4 marriage and even after marriage. A student who fails to practise what is being taught will fail woefully. Same thing goes to xtian couple who push the word of God out of their homes.
Different circumstances, different individuals, different scenarios. What one individual may find acceptable may be totally intolerable to another. Some folk are prepared to stay together, papering over the cracks in a dead marriage, just so they remain "married," or for the sake of the children. I disagree, parents who get divorced and still remain civil are a darn sight healthier than a couple that remain together despite all sort of marriage-breakers - violence, infidelity, lack of mutual respect etc.

Children aren't stupid, and can tell things aren't right. Such kids are most likely to suffer lasting emotional damage.

You need to look at the bigger picture!

#JusticeforAluu4

Tswana: Nooo man you got it wrong those are south africans, u can tell by the man's church badge (ZCC), it was the granfather's funeral, in their culture the granfather was not married to the grandmother, so she has to stand up for him, nothing else