₦airaland Forum

Funny how you guys keep posting non-jokes about how this thread is for jokes

Anyway here's a really funny one:

With 93% of its citizens identifying as such, Nigeria is the second most religious country in the world.

Hey Chrisvicmall,

Do you guys calculate shipping based on actual weight or volumetric weight?

wallflower: No one blindly believes in the Big Bang theory it's a theory, also creationism doesn't tell how it all began either your stories start at a point after it has already begun.

Guy why did you have to shine the Bat-Signal na?!

So what you guys are saying is that we're all a result of humanity's first incest?

And that God sanctioned this incest, by virtue of the fact that he created a single male and female and then asked them to multiply?

Would you be interested in marrying your blood sister today? Why or why not?

Q: Why do women love Jesus.
A: He promises a second coming.

Q: Why do women love Jesus
A: He's hung like this *stretch arms out*

A priest, a liar, and a pedophile walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

Here's a good one on intelligent design:

A civil engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an electrical engineer are talking about what kind of engineer God is.

The MechE says, "God is a MechE. Nobody else could have designed the types of joints and muscles that go into a human body."

The EE says, "God is an EE. Nobody else could have designed the types of nerves and synapses that go into a human body."

The CivE says, "God is a CivE. Nobody else would have run a waste line through a recreational zone."

Why is this devolving into an evolution argument na? Abeg make una chill small ooo! Anyway....


While in church one Sunday, a little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.

Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

*******************************************************************************************

Two Ministers were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self righteously. "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

Ohhh you have been touched by his noodly appendage! Praise be to the Creator of Goodness, Nourishment and Sustenance.

In the name of the Pasta, Sauce and Meatballs.

RAmen!

TheBigUrban2: Se.x, alcohol and videogames

The Holy Trinity

Earlier today, a family friend found out I didn't believe in God, and started calling me 'omo Esu', which is Yoruba for "Devil's child"

Somehow I did find it really amusing, because it reminded me of this girl I used to know that was a craaaazy Twilight fan. She would always ask everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, if they were for Team Edward or Team Jacob.

Well, how about neither, huh? Is that not an option? How about I don't f*cking like Twilight because it's a lazily written work of fiction and ultimately has no effect on the course of my life, huh? I just don't get the logic that if one doesn't believe in one fictional supernatural being, then it just has to be that they believe in said being's nemesis.

Anyway atheists in naija, do people around you know your stance? And how do you respond to them without alienating them, if you do at all?

TheBigUrban2: Balls drop, Vag.inas slack, boo.bs sag but azzholes are forever

I wouldn't be so sure man

http://www.vice.com/read/a-rosebud-by-any-other-name-would-smell-like-shit

OLAADEGBU: I don't only have a brain I also have a spirit, soul and a body. I'm a tripartite being.

Sooo... you brain is separate from your body?

Explains a lot

wiegraf: DI has returned? I thought they folded. Have your read about the (in)famous John Frum? Recommended to anyone who hasn't.

The bananapocalypse is also mildly apropos, considering a(n) (in)famous pastor, and one of olaa's heroes, once used bananas as an example of evidence for intelligent design.

Random; speaking of Ypsilanti, this song is arguably my favorite of all time. It's like wow...how beautiful... Then I realized he was talking about Jesus.....

bleeping troll

Still listen to it almost daily though, I just ignore the silly jesus bits and concentrate on the overall message of selflessness, love etc..

I'm not sure whether or not DI ever folded up. I only recently found them, and I've damn near spent entire days reading their articles. Too many good ones to go through! This is one of the more interesting ones I read recently. I can see this technology experiencing widespread used in the future. If you can get happiness at the push of a button, then why the f**k not?

I did read about the John Frum cargo cults already in the The God Delusion. It's a funny but sad reality about human nature and how superstitions, and essentially religions are propagated. Leave that sh*t to stew for another century and see poor peeps yelling on the future talk spaces (or whatever they have) about how John Frum has promised an eternal life of cargo for his followers in the afterlife.

That song is indeed beautiful, but how is it related to Ypsilanti? I listened, but got lost in the melody every time LOL, so much so I actually never heard her say anything about Jesus.

Oh well

abrajways: According to the Quran Jesus Christ existed but for the writer of Bible they were just historian who never met the man called Jesus. unfortunately they wrote what Christians call holy book. Confusion

Are you saying that the quran, a book written over 600 years after the mythical Jesus Christ existed, has the better description of Jesus?

Why, tell me more.

Futureleader1: He brought salvation to mankind and washed away our sin by Dying on the cross of calvary for u and me! May The good Lord forgive and bless you!

Let me ask you a question.

So Jesus was nailed to the cross and there died for your sins. And you love him, love him, love him, abi? OK

Alright assume we just invented a time travel machine. Given the first opportunity to try the machine today, you decide to go back to the time of Jesus crucifixion. You get there and you immediately see your beloved Jesus being flogged by the Roman soldiers while he drags his cross towards his doom. He looks dejected and is obviously in a whole different world of pain. You hear him repeatedly call for God to save him, and frankly, you have never seen anyone suffer that much in your life. Now, unbeknownst to you, I had slipped an unlimited-ammo AK-47, as well as a massive bag of gold coins into the time machine alongside you. You could use the AK-47 to kill all the Roman soldiers, or if you're opposed to murder, you could just give them the bag of gold coins to f**k off.

Question: On your discovery of these items, would you save your beloved Jesus life?

Supplementary question(s): If your answer is no, do you still consider yourself a good person?

And do you think it is fair that an innocent man dies so that guilty men can escape accountability? If no, how is it that a perfect, and perfectly just and reasonable God set up such a situation?

Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

- Mark Twain

Like someone mentioned above, there are probably just as many, but nobody wan die ontop this bullsh*t now

If you're looking for a nairaland example though, mazaje used to be a muslim. I'm sure there are a couple others

lakefist: May God forgive you for blasphemy I pray u understand sooner that your soul needs to be saved b4 it's too late.
My God is bigger than any less god or messenger you worship.

Maybe you should show me where anything I said was wrong before you start trying to scare me with your tales of eternal punishment.

Where is your conclusive proof that miracles indeed do exist, and that these miracles are exclusive to your faith? Like I said, Muslims, Adventists, Bahais etc all experience miracles and 'answers' to their prayers at the same rate as Christians. The non-religious experience the same events as well, except they don't call them miracles. So what makes your own experience special?

Do you know that there is a 1 million dollar price for anyone that can prove the existence of the supernatural? If you are confident that your god has an effect on events in the natural world, then please show the rest of us. Not only would you be a million dollars richer, you'll also win over a lot of us that don't believe in your god.

There are no such things as miracles. Your pastors and evangelists dey scam una big time! Watch Reinhard Bonnke and Benny Hinn tell it all


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJfaaPdP0kI

EDIT: Just because you cannot explain an event, does not make it a miracle. Typically the things you call miracles are perfectly explainable phenomena. Or just plain old lies. Levitating saint? Nigga please! David Blaine could teach you a thing or two about that . Na una go see solar eclipse dey talk say god dey vex

And doesn't it bother you guys that everybody else, regardless of religion, experiences the same events you call miracles at about the same rate? There is no evidence to show that Christians get 'healed' from diseases any more than Muslims or Bahais do, so what really is the benefit of your god? And why are you not getting any special treatment compared to the rest of us? Look up The Great Prayer Experiment if you want to see the actual numbers and comparisons.

Does every man sin?

1KI 8:46 If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near;

2CH 6:36 If they sin against thee, (for there is no man which sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them over before their enemies, and they carry them away captives unto a land far off or near;

PRO 20:9 Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?

ECC 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.

JO1 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
JO1 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
JO1 1:10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

JO1 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Who bought potter's field

ACT 1:18 Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.
ACT 1:19 And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.

MAT 27:6 And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, It is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because it is the price of blood.
MAT 27:7 And they took counsel, and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in.
MAT 27:8 Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day.

Who prophesied the potter's field?

MAT 27:9-10 (mentions Jeremy but no such verse in Jeremiah) is in Zechariah 11:12-13

Do you answer a fool?

PRO 26:4 Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.

PRO 26:5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

How many children did Michal, the daughter of Saul, have?

2SA 6:23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.

2SA 21:8 But the king took the two sons of Rizpah the daughter of Aiah, whom she bare unto Saul, Armoni and Mephibosheth; and the five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul, whom she brought up for Adriel the son of Barzillai the Meholathite:

How old was Jehoiachin when he began to reign?

2KI 24:8 Jehoiachin was eighteen years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem three months. And his mother's name was Nehushta, the daughter of Elnathan of Jerusalem.

2CH 36:9 Jehoiachin was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned three months and ten days in Jerusalem: and he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD.

Marriage?

Proverbs 18:22
1 Corinthians 7 (whole book. See 1,2,27,39,40)

Did those with Saul/Paul at his conversion hear a voice?

ACT 9:7 And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man.

ACT 22:9 And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me.

Where was Jesus three days after his baptism?

MAR 1:12 And immediately the spirit driveth him into the wilderness.

JOH 1:35 Again the next day after John stood, and two of his disciples;

(various traipsings)

How many apostles were in office between the resurrection and ascension?

1 Corinthians 15:5 (12)
MAT 27:3-5 (minus one from 12)
ACT 1:9-26 (Mathias not elected until after resurrection)

MAT 28:16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them.

Judging

1 Cor 2:15 "The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:" (NIV)

1 Cor 4:5 "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God."

Good deeds

Matt 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (NIV)

Matt 6:3-4 "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (NIV)

For or against?

MAT 12:30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.
(default is against)

MAR 9:40 For he that is not against us is on our part.
(default is for)

LUK 9:50 And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.
(default is for)

Whom did they see at the tomb?

MAT 28:2 And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.
MAT 28:3 His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow:
MAT 28:4 And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men.
MAT 28:5 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.

MAR 16:5 And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment; and they were affrighted.

LUK 24:4 And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:

JOH 20:12 And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.

God change?

MAL 3:6
JAS 1:17
1SA 15:29
JON 3:10
GEN 6:6

Destruction of cities (what said was jeremiah was zechariah)

MAT 27:9 Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying, And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him that was valued, whom they of the children of Israel did value;

ZEC 11:11-13 (Note: There is nothing in Jeremiah remotely like this.)

Whose sepulchers

ACT 7:16
GEN 23:17,18

When second coming?

MAT 24:34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

MAR 13:30 Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.

LUK 21:32 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled.

(See also 1TH 4:15-18)

Solomon's overseers

1KI 9:23 550
2CH 8:10 250

The mother of Abijah:

2CH 11:20 Maachah the daughter of Absalom

2CH 13:2 Michaiah the daughter of Uriel

When did Baasha die?

1KI 16:6-8 26th year of the reign of Asa

2CH 16:1 36th year of the reign of Asa

How old was Ahaziah when he began to reign?

2KI 8:26 22

2CH 22:2 42

The differences in the census figures of Ezra and Nehemiah.

What was the color of the robe placed on Jesus during his trial?

MAT 27:28 scarlet

JOH 19:2 purple

What did they give him to drink?

MAT 27:34 vinegar

MAR 15:23 wine with myrrh

How long was Jesus in the tomb?

Depends where you look; MAT 12:40 gives Jesus prophesying that he will spend "three days and three nights in the heart of the earth," and MAR 10:34 has "after three days (meta treis emeras) he will rise again." As far as I can see from a quick look, the prophecies have "after three days," but the post-Resurrection narratives have "on the third day."

Source: http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html

If you really believe a perfect and just God would judge the eternal souls of his loved creations based on such a shoddily put together and deepy flawed text full of glaring errors, falsehoods and contradictions, then you need to change your definitions of perfection and justice.

Here are some more contradictions in the bible for those interested.

War or Peace?

EXO 15:3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

ROM 15:33 Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.

Who is the father of Joseph?

MAT 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

LUK 3:23 And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli.

[Editor's note: This contradiction has to do only with the father of Joseph, not with the father of Jesus.]

Is Jesus equal to or lesser than?

JOH 10:30 I and my Father are one.

JOH 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

Which first--beasts or man?

GEN 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
GEN 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

GEN 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
GEN 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

How many stalls and horsemen?

1KI 4:26 And Solomon had forty thousand stalls of horses for his chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen.

2CH 9:25 And Solomon had four thousand stalls for horses and chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen; whom he bestowed in the chariot cities, and with the king at Jerusalem.

Is it folly to be wise or not?

PRO 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

ECC 1:18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

1CO 1:19: "For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent."

Human vs. ghostly impregnation

ACT 2:30 Therefore being a prophet, and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne;

MAT 1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

[Editor's note: Jesus cannot be both the fruit of the loins AND the child of the Holy Ghost.]

The sins of the father

ISA 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.

DEU 24:16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

Rabbits do not chew their cud

LEV 11:6 And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.

"Gerah," the term which appears in the MT means (chewed) cud, and also perhaps grain, or berry (also a 20th of a sheckel, but I think that we can agree that that is irrelevant here). It does *not* mean dung, and there is a perfectly adequate Hebrew word for that, which could have been used. Furthermore, the phrase translated "chew the cud" in the KJV is more exactly "bring up the cud." Rabbits do not bring up anything; they let it go all the way through, then eat it again. The description given in Leviticus is inaccurate, and that's that. Rabbits do eat their own dung; they do not bring anything up and chew on it.

Fowl from waters or ground?

GEN 1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
GEN 1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

GEN 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Odd genetics

GEN 30:39 And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.

The shape of the earth

ISA 40:22 It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:

MAT 4:8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

Astronomical bodies are spherical, and you cannot see the entire exterior surface from anyplace. The kingdoms of Egypt, China, Greece, Crete, sections of Asia Minor, India, Maya (in Mexico), Carthage (North Africa), Rome (Italy), Korea, and other settlements from these kingdoms of the world were widely distributed.

Snakes, while built low, do not eat dirt

GEN 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

Earth supported?

JOB 26:7 He stretcheth out the north over the empty place, and hangeth the earth upon nothing.

JOB 38:4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.

Heaven supported too

JOB 26:11 The pillars of heaven tremble and are astonished at his reproof.

The hydrological cycle

ECC 1:7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.

JOB 38:22 Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail,

Storehouses are not part of the cycle

Order of creation

Here is the order in the first (Genesis 1), the Priestly tradition:

Day 1: Sky, Earth, light
Day 2: Water, both in ocean basins and above the sky(!)
Day 3: Plants
Day 4: Sun, Moon, stars (as calendrical and navigational aids)
Day 5: Sea monsters (whales), fish, birds, land animals, creepy-crawlies (reptiles, insects, etc.)
Day 6: Humans (apparently both sexes at the same time)
Day 7: Nothing (the Gods took the first day off anyone ever did)

Note that there are "days," "evenings," and "mornings" before the Sun was created. Here, the Deity is referred to as "Elohim," which is a plural, thus the literal translation, "the Gods." In this tale, the Gods seem satisfied with what they have done, saying after each step that "it was good."

The second one (Genesis 2), the Yahwist tradition, goes:

Earth and heavens (misty)
Adam, the first man (on a desolate Earth)
Plants
Animals
Eve, the first woman (from Adam's rib)

How orderly were things created?
#1: Step-by-step. The only discrepancy is that there is no Sun or Moon or stars on the first three "days."
#2: God fixes things up as he goes. The first man is lonely, and is not satisfied with animals. God finally creates a woman for him. (funny thing that an omniscient god would forget things)

How satisfied with creation was he?
#1: God says "it was good" after each of his labors, and rests on the seventh day, evidently very satisfied.
#2: God has to fix up his creation as he goes, and he would certainly not be very satisfied with the disobedience of that primordial couple. (funny thing that an omniscient god would forget things)

Moses' personality

NUM 12:3: "Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth."

NUM 31:14, 17, 18: "And Moses was wroth...And Moses said unto them, "Have ye saved all the women alive? ... Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman, ... But all the women children ... keep alive for yourselves."

Righteous live?

PSA 92:12: "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."

ISA 57:1: "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart."

ACT 1:18: "Now this man (Judas) purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out."

MAT 27:5-7: "And he (Judas) cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. And the chief priests...bought with them the potter's field."

Jesus' first sermon plain or mount?

MAT 5:1,2: "And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying...."

LUK 6:17,20: "And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people...came to hear him.. And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples and said..."

Jesus' last words

MAT 27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" ...Jesus, when he cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost."

LUK 23:46: "And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, "Father, unto thy hands I commend my spirit:" and having said thus, he gave up the ghost."

JOH 19:30: "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."

Years of famine

II SAMUEL 24:13: So God came to David, and told him, and said unto him, shall SEVEN YEARS OF FAMINE come unto thee in thy land? or will thou flee three months before thine enemies, while they pursue. thee?

I CHRONICLES 21:11: SO God came to David, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Choose thee. Either THREE YEARS OF FAMINE or three months to be destroyed before thy foes, while that the sword of thine enemies overtaketh thee;

Moved David to anger?

II SAMUEL 24: And again the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah.

I CHRONICLES 21: And SATAN stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel.

The GENEALOGY OF JESUS?

In two places in the New Testament the genealogy of Jesus son of Mary is mentioned. MAT 1:6-16 and LUK 3:23-31. Each gives the ancestors of Joseph the CLAIMED husband of Mary and Step father of Jesus. The first one starts from Abraham(verse 2) all the way down to Jesus. The second one from Jesus all the way back to Adam. The only common name to these two lists between David and Jesus is JOSEPH, How can this be true? and also How can Jesus have a genealogy when all Muslims and most Christians believe that Jesus had/has no father.

God be seen?

EXO 24:9,10; AMO 9:1; GEN 26:2; and JOH 14:9
God CAN be seen:
"And I will take away my hand, and thou shalt see my backparts." (EXO 33:23)
"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." (EXO 33:11)
"For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." (GEN 32:30)

God CANNOT be seen:
"No man hath seen God at any time." (JOH 1:18)
"And he said, Thou canst not see my face; for there shall no man see me and live." (EXO 33:20)
"Whom no man hath seen nor can see." (1TIM 6:16)

CRUEL, UNMERCIFUL, DESTRUCTIVE, and FEROCIOUS or KIND, MERCIFUL, and GOOD:

"I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy." (JER 13:14) "Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not, but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling."

"The Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy." (JAS 5:11)
"For his mercy endureth forever." (1CH 16:34)
"The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works." (PSA 145:9)
"God is love." (1JO 4:16)

Tempts?

"And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham." (GEN 22:1)

"Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man." (JAS 1:13)

Judas died how?

"And he cast down the pieces of silver into the temple and departed, and went out and hanged himself." (MAT 27:5)

"And falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all of his bowels gushed out." (ACT 1:18)

Ascend to heaven

"And Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven." (2KI 2:11)

"No man hath ascended up to heaven but he that came down from heaven, ... the Son of Man." (JOH 3:13)

What was Jesus' prediction regarding Peter's denial?

Before the cock crow - MAT 26:34

Before the cock crow twice - MAR 14:30

How many times did the cock crow?

MAR 14:72 And the second time the cock crew. And Peter called to mind the word that Jesus said unto him, Before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice. And when he thought thereon, he wept.

MAT 26:74 Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew.
MAT 26:75 And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

LUK 22:60 And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew.
LUK 22:61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

JOH 13:38 Jesus answered him, Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, still thou hast denied me thrice.

JOH 18:27 Peter then denied again: and immediately the cock crew.

How many beatitudes in the Sermon on the Mount

MAT 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
MAT 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
MAT 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
MAT 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
MAT 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
MAT 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
MAT 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
MAT 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
MAT 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

LUK 6:20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.
LUK 6:21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.
LUK 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.
LUK 6:23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.

The Three Jesus Christs of Ypsilanti

http://www.damninteresting.com/three-thrown-over-the-cuckoos-nest/

This is not religious per se. Just thought it was a really interesting read about mental health and delusions.

neupert: Go ahead and do it even people say it will not work or commercially viable at least you know you try .
My only advice is let it be portable and beautiful, because there's alot of them in the market.

You've seen something like this on the market before? Not the lantern BTW, the device

naijainfogalery: Well at first dont worry about how much it will cost, if you can get this working perfectly, and you managed to get this to some governement agencies and if they seems to like it and they know they can make side money from it (corruption as usual) it could become so big that even UN and some other international agencies can start shipping it to the rest of Africa. By then even Nigerians no go get choice again na 2,500 last. LOL

Stop Thinking Small Look at the big picture.

So. Much. Optimism.

Thanks for your contribution man, I'll remember you if the UN ever comes knocking LOL

wiegraf: Battery tech is still in the stone age when compared to most other tech, especially in computing. We're not likely going to get much better batteries than what is currently available for some time. So, if the math checks out why not? Are you sure you'll be able to produce enough power with that?

The price though may need some working, especially as rural areas would be primary targets.

If you did come up with a working prototype though, I'm sure many ideas would spring up that could help with that.

Yeah the math works out. The thermoelectric module this design is based on is rated up to 9A depending on how much of a temperature difference you can induce between either of its sides. I reckon, in an average room at night in, say Port Harcourt, the device could record a 20 degree difference which will result to around a 3A current supply. Like I said, you're definitely not going to be powering your TV, but you'll have enough power available for the smaller stuff.

I definitely agree about the pricing man; N1500 is an entire months food for some. Well I suppose it's more important to start working on a prototype now, and then see what happens from there.

EDIT: Thanks for your contribution!

Ajibam: Wow, so logicboy incarnated into bigurban..
The reasoning simple shows they are the same..
I should have known before

Oh trust me, you don't want to know all of logicboy's incarnations


Also fellas, check out this device I designed and let me know what you think of it

https://www.nairaland.com/1822781/think-invention-viable-buy-one

Hey Nairalanders!

So this idea hit me yesterday, and I've been working on it non-stop since. If you see as my eyes dey red like baboon yansh now eh

Anyway, my goal was to design a device that you could couple to those regular old lamps, to convert their waste heat energy to electricity. Of course pretty much everybody has a generator in Naija already, but last time I was around, I still saw a substantial number of people using these lamps.

Before I start to dey talk rubbish from this my sleep deprivation, here's what you need to know,

- As you can see from the pictures below, this is only a conceptual design at the moment, but I know everything that is required to make the device work, and I'm 99.75% certain that it will!

- This device can only produce enough energy to charge your phone, or power your speakers, just general really low range applications.

- Device would transmit through USB chord for convenience

- I have calculated that a thousand of these could be manufactured, packaged and released to market for around N1,500 each. However, there's always a possibility of reducing costs by producing larger quantities.

Sooooooo...

What do you guys think? Viable or not? Would you buy one at that price if it was available on the market? What would be your last price?

Also, will something like this be helpful to folks in rural areas, if at all?

Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers!

Haha 8 planets? That's cute.

See how many you can count in the image below, and then realize that there are even more galaxies besides ours, estimated to be in the billions.

https://workhomeunion.com/you-are-here4.jpg

Did The Jesus Christ Of The Bible Ever Exist?

All reliable evidence points to Jesus Christ being just a myth. There is no reliable evidence that Jesus even existed, and significant evidence that he didn't. The evidence is in the Bible, the other religions of the time, the lack of writings about Jesus by any historians of the 1st century, and the lack of writings about Jesus by anyone until a decade or more after his supposed life.

The story of Jesus can be shown to be just a myth created to fulfill prophesy, cobbled together out of stories from the Old Testament and previous gods and myths - created in the 40's and 50's by Paul (ne Saul of Tarsus) (who exhibited symptoms of epilepsy and had delusions of Christ talking to him), the other apostles, the unknown authors of the gospels in the 70's or later, and many other people. The reliable evidence for this is overwhelming.

Paul and the other epistle writers don't know any biographical details of Jesus' life, or even the time of his earthly existence. They don't refer to Bethlehem, Nazareth, Galilee, Calvary or Golgotha — or any pilgrimages to what should have been holy sites of Jesus' life. They also don't mention any miracles that Jesus was supposed to have worked, his virgin birth, his trial, the empty tomb, or his moral teachings. To them Jesus was largely a sky-god who existed in the spiritual past.

If Jesus had actually existed, Paul would have written about his life, disciples, teachings and miracles. Paul did not write about any of this. Paul even wrote (1 Cor. 1:22-23) that Jesus did no miracles. Paul wrote (in Rom. 16:25-26, Gal. 1:11,12) that he knew Jesus through revelation, which is another term for fantasy and delusions. We can also tell that people were accusing Paul of lying, because he attempted to defend himself in Rom. 3:5-8.

Paul also thought that Peter and James were other (competing) epistle writers. Paul wrote in Gal. 2:6 that the apostles in Jerusalem (including James and Cephas/Peter) added nothing to his message, and in Gal. 2:11 he opposed Cephas/Peter. Neither statement makes sense if they had known a real Jesus.

If Jesus had actually existed, the gospels would have been written in first person format. Instead, they were written (in Greek) in third person fiction format, often with the supposed thoughts of Jesus. The gospels should also have been original. Instead, Matthew and Luke extensively plagiarized from Mark. The gospels don't even claim to be eyewitness accounts. All we have are hearsay accounts.

If the Jesus story were true, his trial would have been legal. Instead, the purported trial was illegitimate under both Roman and Jewish law. The story of the trial is just a re-telling of the Jewish ritual of scapegoating, where one goat is set free (i.e. Barabbas, which means "son of the father" ) and one goat is sacrificed (i.e. Jesus). In addition, many scholars have pointed out that the entire crucifixion scene is created out of material extracted from the Psalms.

If Jesus Christ had actually existed, at least one of the approximately 30 local historians of the first century would have written about him. No historian of the first century (including Josephus and Philo of Alexandria) wrote about him or his disciples.

Therefore Jesus Christ did not exist.

The Jesus story also shows extensive similarities to other myths of the time (especially Horus, Mithra, Osiris, and Dionysus). For instance, baptism into the death and resurrection of Osiris washed away sins so the soul could obtain the best place in heaven. Some early Christians attributed these similarities to Satan who went back in time and created the religions that "copied" Christianity.

Jesus is worshiped on Sunday, like over a dozen sun gods whose birthdays were also on the old winter solstice of December 25, when the sun is “reborn.”

There were also over a dozen other deities and saviors who were resurrected (often after violent deaths). Christianity just told the story the best, and managed to get control of the government under Constantine. With control of the government, the ruling Christians were able to stomp out competing (heretical) versions of Christianity and enforce their doctrines.

Source: godless

Also check out this thread [https://www.nairaland.com/1814635/jesus-christ-original-photocopy] for some of the different myths the legend of Jesus Christ were copied from.

While Netanyahu might indeed be a racist prick, he didn't utter those words. Those are supposedly quotes from a former apartheid South African president. See link below.

Source: http://allafrica.com/stories/201407151844.html

PS: In the future, try to check with more reputable sources before you post any of these kinds of messages.